Post Setback-HELP PLS!! (Pics inside)

[Russet]

Ok, so I posted a thread previously after my setback in late March...
I was transitioning before I had my setback but I just had the itch to relax again after only 4 months. So I did, and clearly something went wrong because my hair was coming out in CLUMPS! I had to cut my hair to about NL and ended my transition.

Now, my problem is, the stylist I went to said my hair was extremely damaged and once I had any new growth, my hair would break at the line of demarcation because it'd be too weak compared to my NG. So after about 2 months my hair began to do just that. I had mini big chops throughout my head and I really didn't know what to do because my hair was STILL BREAKING.

My stylist said I should soften the NG with a mild relaxer, so I did. My hair isn't coming out as much BUT my plan isn't to remain relaxed. I do plan on transitioning, but when will I be able to? My stylist says my hair is too weak right now to even handle hanging on to my thick NG. Is there anything I could do to begin my transition right now? Will I be able to transition with unhealthy relaxed hair? Or will I have to nurture my relaxed hair first, and when it is healthy again, transition?

I am so confused right now. Any and all help will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much for reading!!

 

[whitedaisez]

cant see the pics

 

[Russet]

^ I think I fixed it

 

[LadyAmazon]

My stylist said I should soften the NG with a mild relaxer, so I did. My hair isn't coming out as much BUT my plan isn't to remain relaxed.
Thanks so much for reading!!

Please please please stop listening to this stylist!!! If your plan is to go natural your texture is something you're going to have to become comfortable with. "Softening the NG" is something she suggested to make her job easier.

Now, to get your hair healthy I would try to get your protein moisture balance back to normal. Start with moisture first with a good DC but if the excessive shedding is still happening explore protein treatments.

 

[Russet]

^ Ok, great! I actuall did a mild protein treatment last night using Affirm's Reconstructor and followed up with a moisturizing DC overnight. What I thought she was right about was that my NG was too much for the relaxed ends to handle. How can I make my relaxed ends strong enough to withhold the NG? Is that where the protein-moisture balance comes in?

 

[I Am So Blessed]

in all honestly, if i were you i would shave my head clean. then get a wig. then watch it grow from there.

 

[Russet]

erplexed Adora?? Idk, I mean it sounds logical but that would be a huge decision. I mean what if I hate the way wigs look on me and i'm not ready to rock a buzzed cut? Then what do I do?? Ugh, this is SO frusturating. If i did that though, I know I wouldn't have a thing to worry about. Just deal with one texture instead of having to go crazy on learning about what works for both.

 

[divachyk]

i don't have the gonads to go bald no matter how bad the situation is/was....hope things work out for you.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

erplexed Adora?? Idk, I mean it sounds logical but that would be a huge decision. I mean what if I hate the way wigs look on me and i'm not ready to rock a buzzed cut? Then what do I do?? Ugh, this is SO frusturating. If i did that though, I know I wouldn't have a thing to worry about. Just deal with one texture instead of having to go crazy on learning about what works for both.

but just think of how happy youll be in a few months when you see all that freshh, ORGANIC, UNTOUCHED by chemical, hair! it will be so pretty. i know how you feel, but if i were in your shoes id take myself down to bss and get fitted for a fly wig and just wait for this fresh hair to come.

 

[tHENATuRALhAiRpRoJEcT]

i would 2 inches... protective style (of your choice).....protein/moisture
until it grows out....
wigs are good to rest the hair if u are into them (kinda not my thing)

good luck

 

[acapnleo]

I am not a fan of bc's, so i can understand not wanting to start all the way over.
COWash n go curlies are great for transitioning, if that is what you wish to do. When I used to do this, I didn't comb my hair and piled it on top of my head and let the hair air dry. Its a cute look and, with the summer heat, its refreshing. When you want to go straight, then flat iron... Hope that helps.

** AUSSIE MOIST CONDITIONER IS GREAT FOR CO WASH AND LEAVE IN ***

 

[PrincessAJ]

I believe u can still transition with unhealthy relaxed hair. My hair was TERRIBLY damaged from relaxers. All of the stylists would try to make my hair bone straight and my hair wasn't and will never be destined to be bone straight. I cut my hair into a short style and rocked it. I then transitioned from that short style. The first few months were difficult because all I could do was slick my hair down but after that I was able to do twist outs and bantu knot-outs to help cover up the new growth. I also transitioned with braids. I did this for 9 months and then did the big chop myself. U DO NOT need a mild relaxer IMO. My relaxed hair would snap because it was so weak. Stylists just don't want to lose your business. I had one repeatedly glued in tracks in my hair and relaxed my hair and washed it out with cold water. I was foolish and kept returning until I was introduced to this forum and learned how to do things myself.

 

[Russet]

^^ Thank you all! I'm not really into braids/kinky twists. I'd rather rock a buzzed head! I am not so much concerned about how I'd look with a bald head. As strange as it may seem, I like that look. i.e. Chrisette Michele, Natalie Portman, Amber Rose (her hair NOT her), etc. What I am most concerned about is the awkward stage where it isn't a clean cut anymore, but it isn't long enough either. the TWA stage

 

[Russet]

I believe u can still transition with unhealthy relaxed hair. My hair was TERRIBLY damaged from relaxers. All of the stylists would try to make my hair bone straight and my hair wasn't and will never be destined to be bone straight. I cut my hair into a short style and rocked it. I then transitioned from that short style. The first few months were difficult because all I could do was slick my hair down but after that I was able to do twist outs and bantu knot-outs to help cover up the new growth. I also transitioned with braids. I did this for 9 months and then did the big chop myself. U DO NOT need a mild relaxer IMO. My relaxed hair would snap because it was so weak. Stylists just don't want to lose your business. I had one repeatedly glued in tracks in my hair and relaxed my hair and washed it out with cold water. I was foolish and kept returning until I was introduced to this forum and learned how to do things myself.

Wow, you are totally right. I guess since she's been my stylist for so long I trusted her in knowing what she was actually talking about and thinking she advised the best for my hair.

For now I am going to try and establish a good protein/moisture balance and hopefully that'll put an end to the breakage as I continue to get more NG.

 

[PrincessAJ]

I have a lot of typos . Sorry, I was in a rush!!

 

[hopeful]

I'm sorry you had such a bad setback. I had a similiar situation last year. I'd gone about nine months without a relaxer and was planning on transitioning but last June I became frustrated and relaxed. My hair literally just came out in clumps. That was my last relaxer. I'm not exactly sure of what you should do but you really must stop "softening" your newgrowth with relaxer if you really want to be natural. It will take you forever to be natural if you keep doing that. Maybe try out some wigs now to see how you like them, that way if you decide to bc you will be ready if you don't like the short hair or the in between stages.

 

[Charz]

I think you should BC. Believe me, your hair will grow back so fast after you cut away all the damage!

 

[ice.]

in all honestly, if i were you i would shave my head clean. then get a wig. then watch it grow from there.

Agreed. I did the exact same thing (shaved off my hair BALD last May). I even made a thread about it (too lazy to look for it but it's my 1st thread). However, I only rocked a wig for like 2 months before I became fed up with it and walked out the house with what little hair grew back on my head lol... best feeling ever... @ OP, just shave it all off and start fresh. All you would have to do is nurture the hair that starts to grow back (and believe me it'll grow back quickly).

ETA: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=467654

 

[MissMusic]

It really just sounds like you need to up your protein treatments. Once you do that your relaxed hair should be fine. Just keep the line of demarcation strong with protein and you should be able to transition without relaxing again. This stylist just seems to want you to keep relaxing, so just stop listening to her/him!

 

[kandiekj100]

I shaved too. It really wasn't bad at all. I wore wigs for a bit when it was bald but as soon as I had a little hair, i was wearing it out. It did force me to wear makeup and jewelry, but it was a cool phase.

 

[NuBraveHeart]

1. please stop listening to stylists. i know that they have to make a living, but let them do it on folks who don't care about the real health of their hair like they've been doing for decades. i have honestly learned more about hair on this board and from my own experimentation than from ANY beautician i have ever had. just stop it.

2. you can transition from your relaxer. i am currently in that process myself and on my second sew-in install. between installs i protein and DC, and let my hair breathe for a week. during, i cowash at least twice a week, oil scalp and prepoo once a week and shampoo once. i have faith that i can make it work. you should too.

3. good luck!

 

[BostonMaria]

OP, are you counting on this stylist to do your hair every week or are you also doing your own hair?

Because I had a similar problem when I tried to transition 10 years ago. The stylist was causing the set back because of all the heat she was using on my hair. Once I became a DIY'er I was able to nurse my hair for 10 months and then do the BC.

 

[jshor09]

I shaved my head bald and rocked a wig for a month or 2. It was during the summer and i loved rocking my twa. The only reason i didnt rock the bald look was because i have a huge birthmark on my head. I agree with stop listening to your stylist.

 

[Russet]

Thank you ALL!!

@ ice- you are so brave!

@ b.maria- Everything as far as pre-pooing, pooing, DCing, moisturizing, sealing, cowashing, etc. I do myself. I even go with the DC still on my hair to my stylist. She just rinses it out and rollersets my hair and then blow dry. And she did cut my hair after the setback.

I really don't want to "soften" the NG, I was just told it'd be best if I did since my relaxed ends were so weak and thin. I really don't wanna shave my hair off and start over either. I just want to stop the breakage and strengthen the relaxed ends so that the don't break off.


Do you ladies think Henna can help?

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

in all honestly, if i were you i would shave my head clean. then get a wig. then watch it grow from there.

I was gonna say the exact same thing. This is EXACTLY what I did.

ETA: You're probably alot more patient than I am too.

 

[Grand Prix]

Thank you ALL!!

@ ice- you are so brave!

@ b.maria- Everything as far as pre-pooing, pooing, DCing, moisturizing, sealing, cowashing, etc. I do myself. I even go with the DC still on my hair to my stylist. She just rinses it out and rollersets my hair and then blow dry. And she did cut my hair after the setback.

I really don't want to "soften" the NG, I was just told it'd be best if I did since my relaxed ends were so weak and thin. I really don't wanna shave my hair off and start over either. I just want to stop the breakage and strengthen the relaxed ends so that the don't break off.


Do you ladies think Henna can help?

I completely understand that you don't.
Especially since you were nearly APL a little while back.

I transitioned for 19 months, been to a stylist twice during this period and of course they rolled their eyes at me for transitioning, pointing out my breakage when my hair was looking better than it had in my life, etc.
It's crazy how stylists act like relaxers are the best things in this world for type 4 hair.
Yes transitioning is hard, but it seems to me that relaxers are doing you way more harm..

By the way, very gentle manipulation was extremely (maybe even most) important for me during my transition, so your stylist being the one to rollerset your hair might not be the best idea. Especially since she's so convinced not relaxing means your hair is going to break off anyway.

How about some protein for your relaxed hair? I would spray some CHI keratin mist on my relaxed ends when they seemed out of shape compared to my ng.

 

[hair4romheaven]

chop and get a weave braid or a wig. I plan on doing the same even at 10 mnths post.

 

[curlicarib]

I agree with Adora, shave it - if you can handle that. It's not for everyone. I shaved my head twice in my life.........once in my teens and once in my 20's. Loved it both times. And belive it or not, hair grows FAST at that length - I know it doesn't grow any faster than normal, but because it's going from nothing to something, it seems to move faster. Within 6 weeks you'll have a beautiful TWA. If shaving is not for you, then do the best you can to keep it as healthy as possible while transitioning.

Either way, stay away from that stylist!

ETA: I wore my bald head proudly! and men LOVED it! I serioulsy had to get mean with a few of them who were a little too amorous!

 

[brucebettye]

Why not get a phony ponytail? Find one that matches your hair color and texture and wear that for a while. It is helping me to be lazy and watch my hair grow. I am thinking about going completely natural by the end of the year.

 

[chebaby]

erplexed Adora?? Idk, I mean it sounds logical but that would be a huge decision. I mean what if I hate the way wigs look on me and i'm not ready to rock a buzzed cut? Then what do I do?? Ugh, this is SO frusturating. If i did that though, I know I wouldn't have a thing to worry about. Just deal with one texture instead of having to go crazy on learning about what works for both.

if you did decide to do a mahor cut. you dont have to shave it although i understand the logic. you could always go down to lets say 3 inches and watch it flourish from there.