(RANT) DO men only like long straight silky hair?

[Qetesh]

So I straightened my hair yesterday and went out. The good thing is my hair has actually grown; I am nearly waist-length now (2.5 inches to go). My issue is why is it that men notice me so much more with long straight hair than when its bug curly and just below my shoulders? Originally I had convinced myself that they noticed me regardless and this is true, BUT they notice me MORE when my hair is long and straight. I had A FEW guys try to spit game and this doesn’t happen to me like that when my hair is curly. I also noticed men generally checking me out more and being nicer to me so to speak.

Why is it that men only like long straight silky hair??

I’m not saying men don’t check me out at all when it’s curly but they never seem to be compelled to actually tell me I am beautiful, they more or less jus stare and keep it moving. You might say I must have been more open, well honestly I don’t think so, but maybe there is some part of me that feels more beautiful with straight hair and seeing how its grown thanks to LHCF I was feeling like hot stuff and it shows. With that said I have also felt like hott stuff once I figured out how to do a wash and go and I didn’t get the same response from men.

I even noticed a female checking me for tracks. Just looking all in my head for them at the grocery store, my hair has always been long but this is the first time I really noticed the difference in peoples reactions, I guess it’s because it’s been curly for months and I just went out with it straight and it’s longer. Also it may be that I am actually paying attention when previously I didn’t really think about hair.

 

[dicapr]

It might not be the fact that it straight it might be all the length that your showing. If your hair is almost waist lenght when straight it probably demands attention! Women with that lenght of hair that is thick and health will always get a second look.

 

[kally]

Congrats on your growth. I have did a survey on men and what they tink about womens hair. The main reponse I got was "As long as the style fits you." Many of them felt that as long as the hair looked good on you that is what counts.

 

[Vshanell]

I get this same thing from men. Do you have any pics of your straightened hair!! I'd love to see. I haven't straightened in a while and I plan on doing it this week. I don't know if I'm ready for the responses. The attention from men dosen't bother me as much as it does from the females. I just don't like those "Oh, she think she cute" looks.

 

[Country gal]

We had a lot of threads on this very subject. I believe we are taught to love and fawn over long straight hair. Halle Berry made it trendy to wear short hair.

 

[PaperClip]

Along with the fact that both men and women have been programmed that long, straight hair is the standard of beauty, for men, as a psychological(?) urge to procreate, there's a subconscious attraction to long, big, thick hair as a sign of FERTILITY.

 

[FlowerHair]

Yes, I think it's the beauty standard where you live. Here it's the other way around! With big curly hair you can't go wrong. In fact, my boyfriend often said in the beginning that he wished my hair was even coilier/curlier/nappier!

 

[FAMUDva]

It might not be the fact that it straight it might be all the length that your showing. If your hair is almost waist lenght when straight it probably demands attention! Women with that lenght of hair that is thick and health will always get a second look.

I agree with everything you said. There are men and WOMEN who are long hair lovers and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. If there were then I'd have to line up for a pop on the hand because I too take a second look when I see a woman with long, thick hair, especially black women. You can say I'm a hair stalker, but since I've set my own goals on growing my hair long, I see other women with long beautiful hair and am amazed... whether it's curly or straight.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

In this case it may not always be the "standard of beauty" thing, it could be the other thing, which is black girls hair can't grow. So maybe that's why everyone including men and women are in awe when you show your maxium length.

I also agree w/the fact that it may just look really good on you to the person that is in awe, and I'm sure the same thing goes for those who give the double look when you wear your wash and go's if they like that particular style on you better they will be drewling (?sp) all over you. As the saying goes beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Cheleigh]

I don't think it's just about the straight silky. I think any black woman with their own waist length hair is going to get a second and third look from men. When our hair is curly, it just doesn't show the length. If you had curly hair that was waist length, you'd get a lot of attention too. Heck, I'd probably look at your long hair, and I'm not even long-hair obsessed.

 

[Qetesh]

I get this same thing from men. Do you have any pics of your straightened hair!! I'd love to see. I haven't straightened in a while and I plan on doing it this week. I don't know if I'm ready for the responses. The attention from men dosen't bother me as much as it does from the females. I just don't like those "Oh, she think she cute" looks.

i do have some pics i am going to post them tonight in the bootcamp thread. i didnt trim my ends at all but granted they are a bit shabby but when i actually look at them they are not extreamly split so i think i am going to dust it and keep it movin.

i need to start up a fotki.

and thanks ladies, i honestly think your right, it's the fact that i am showing my length. and being i am a dark skinned black female with long hair once its showing my lenth it demands attention. people are not used to seeing someone like me with my black features and real hair this long. the thing tho is dont men not know the differance between a weave anyway??

 

[Babygurl]

the thing tho is dont men not know the differance between a weave anyway??

You'd be surprised at how many men know the difference, I get approached by a LOT of men who say they could tell it was real from across the room. Considering they see both real and fake hair, a lot of them know the real hair when they see it...my brother is a real vs fake hair expert, at times it even amazes me how good he is at it. :lol

 

[LocksOfLuV]

i do have some pics i am going to post them tonight in the bootcamp thread. i didnt trim my ends at all but granted they are a bit shabby but when i actually look at them they are not extreamly split so i think i am going to dust it and keep it movin.

i need to start up a fotki.

and thanks ladies, i honestly think your right, it's the fact that i am showing my length. and being i am a dark skinned black female with long hair once its showing my lenth it demands attention. people are not used to seeing someone like me with my black features and real hair this long. the thing tho is dont men not know the differance between a weave anyway??

Awww, I understand what you are saying. It does kinda suck, but it is def. the way things are and I don't see them changing anytime soon. Yeah it's wrong, but it is one of those things where it's not gonna change.

Girl just seeing you hair in your avatar I am a woman (not gay) and I would have been staring up some ish! It is something about long hair on a black woman that really intrigues me and demands my attention. And plus you got the nerve to be pretty!

 

[silvergirl]

i agree i think it has more to do with length. curly or straight if its long its going to get attention.

 

[Arcadian]

I don't really think my hair shows all that much length, but when its down it looks really sexy and I get a lot of attention. Curls and waves suit my face rather than straight.

when its up I look like a librarian

I honestly think it generally depends on the kind of vibe you put out there. When I know I look good I get all kinds of attention, sometimes regardless if my hair is down or not.

-A

 

[Ayeshia]

all men have expressed interest in my hair...I dont necessarily think it has to be sliky and str8 ...but length is watch may catch their eyes

 

[deltagyrl]

and being i am a dark skinned black female with long hair once its showing my lenth it demands attention. people are not used to seeing someone like me with my black features and real hair this long. the thing tho is dont men not know the differance between a weave anyway??

You consider yourself to be dark skinned?? When I think dark I think Morris Chestnut or Wesley Snipes. Interesting perception...

Love your hair btw!

 

[omnipadme]

I get just the opposite. When my head was completely shaven, you wouldn't believe how much attention I got. go figure.

 

[glamazon386]

IDK. But I think you're right on the dark skinned long or curly hair thing. People are forever asking me am I mixed with something when I'm wearing my curly weave or my own hair slicked back in a pony or bun (you can see my texture really good then). I find that I get more attention when I have big curly hair than long straight hair. However, I get the feeling that people assume the curly hair is my hair and the straight hair is a weave. They're usually both weave. Plus the curly hair looks better on me anyway so that might have something to do with it too. Long straight hair does nothing for my features. Some men know weaves when they see them (they know someone who had one ie. a sister, mom, ex, friend, etc who gave them the 411) or they are pretty much oblivious unless it's obvious (bad weaves or your hair was short one day and long the next).

 

[neonbright]

Girl the fact that your hair was almost waist line would have had me staring, but because I was just would want to see how long your hair would be straight, since you are mostly curly. But yes the women were most likely hating and the men were dogging, but hey most men are dogs anyway. I know when most of us here have our hair down, I know we get people look and can't believe it ain't weave...

 

[Allandra]

i agree i think it has more to do with length. curly or straight if its long its going to get attention.

I agree with this.

 

[esoterica]

it's about the length. other an dreadlocks, i have never seen a black woman with waistlength hair, so even though i know its possible to achieve, i'd still be checking you out too.

 

[Twisties]

I am not sure if it is length. I think it's both the lenghth and straightness (sp?) of the hair.

I have been sporting a flip wig recently and I am getting ALL kinds of compliments from men and women.

I usually wear my hair in micro twists - natural hair. I got a lot of compliments on them also but it's a different type of compliment.

I have men that have seen me everyday when I was natural --that are all interested dating me now....it is because the wig is straight. It is NOT long at all - just a straight wig with flipped ends. Very cute but not mine . I don't know if they THINK it's my hair or not though.

This happens whenever I switch to the wigs for the winter. It bothers me at first but I get used to it. I think as some said, we're groomed to like straight hair in this society.

 

[camellia]

I agree it's probably the length.

I get more compliments, stares, ect... when I wear my hair loose and curly or wavy. When I wore my hair down and wavy the other weekend I literally had people staring when I took off my coat and tossed my hair back.

The only people who really seem to like my hair straight more than curly are my sisters.

 

[Ms Lala]

I agree with this.

I agree with this also. Honestly if I saw you walking by with waist length hair of any texture I probably would look to and try my best not to stare. I probably would come up to you and ask you about your regimen! I have been wearing my natural hair in a ponytail (usually it's all pinned up) where you can actually see the length because it's been roller set and I am getting looks and compliments. I actually get lots of guys trying to talk to me when my hair is wild from a twist out, not sure why. I honestly think it's just a flattering style on me.

 

[locabouthair]

i dont think men only like women with long straight hair. when i was natural (and i have 4b short, coarse hair) there was a guy i met that really liked natural hair. when i wore my hair straight he didn't like it at all. he was really against me straightening my hair.

 

[Qetesh]

You consider yourself to be dark skinned?? When I think dark I think Morris Chestnut or Wesley Snipes. Interesting perception...

Love your hair btw!

Thanks for the compliment.

I do consider myself dark-skinned. More or less medium dark, I do tan nicely and the flash tends to lighten your skin a few shades.

I think everyone is right and it’s the length, even tho my hair is shoulder length while curly. People can’t really imagine that it’s as long as it is straight. So I get more attention. Even today at work I am getting looks. Male and female, and I had no idea that hair alone could do this… I also think it might be the fact that it’s a change as far as co-workers go, they get used to seeing me a certain way and change surprises them, now with the strangers it has to be the length alone.

And in general we are conditioned to notice real straight hair esp. on a black girl which is an oxy moron, but for some reason true.

Kinda off topic I got so used to it not being straight that now I feel like it’s too long. It’s getting caught on seat belts and my purse strap. Maybe its going to take a few days to adjust, I also feel guilty doing anything cuz its probably messing around with my ends. I guess I need to just put it up. I am actually almost looking forward to washing it and wearing it natural again, less length even tho its big.

 

[Ms Lala]

i dont think men only like women with long straight hair. when i was natural (and i have 4b short, coarse hair) there was a guy i met that really liked natural hair. when i wore my hair straight he didn't like it at all. he was really against me straightening my hair.

I recently straightened my hair and my hubby wasn't feeling it.

 

[Crissi]

I recently straightened my hair and my hubby wasn't feeling it.

#

You, anytime i mention a relaxer or straightner to my man he's like .........yea right

 

[dlewis]

I think with most men they like straight silky hair. My brother loves sprits and weave and those are the only type of women he date and has ever dated. My husband loves big curly hair and so does my father.