Singleness: Discouragement & Things Made New

[loolalooh]

I wasn't looking for this post, but it found me today so that I could share with you.
This message can apply to almost anyone no matter the marital status ...

Discouragement & Things Made New
by fast. pray.

Some friends and I have an informal prayer group around singleness which has been a great source of encouragement to all of us. Seriously, everyone needs a place to say: "At Thanksgiving, my mom said the thing she was most thankful for was her kids' spouses. I'm the only one not married." Everyone realizes that would feel bad, but only a room of single women can viscerally understand.

In any case, we've recently lost a bit of steam, and I asked my friend why she thought we had lost that energy. Her answer was brutally honest: I hate to say it, but I think I've lost some of the urgency because I feel discouraged. I just don't see God answering prayer in this area. I just hear silence.

Bingo. I couldn't agree more. I just got tired of banging my head against the reality that I can't see what God is doing here, and I'm so frequently faithless in believing that He's doing anything. I just see ever larger potholes of fear, resentment, selfishness and jealously in my sinful heart. I see other people's fabulous, life-altering romantic relationship go from zero to engaged in the space it takes me to get one (mediocre) match.com date or get marginally less distracted by the ex sitting in the next row at church or restrain myself from packing all my stuff in boxes four months before my roommates' wedding. Small wins, people. Small wins.

And each passing milestone (the end of grad school, another birthday, oh-look-my-childhood-best-friend-has-two-kids) underscores the panicky feeling in my stomach that somehow this whole praying for a husband thing is going to require an actual miracle, because statistics and time and the current dating pool aren't getting more encouraging.

It's easy to be discouraged when those sorts of things are filling my head. It starts to look so absurd: why am I still telling God about desires that might not be met soon? Or ever? There is a deep lie that my story is off track and that God's not listening.

But it's not true. It's simply not true at all.

First, yes, my story is going to be different. It just is and I'm accepting that fact. Is this the story I imagined for myself? Uh, not exactly. But it is my story and I believe God is intimately, clearly involved in its daily details. My story, including singleness, is not because I got the leftovers of God's goodness. My story is because of God's goodness, sovereignty and love. I can pray so much more boldly in that context.

Secondly, I'm going to remind myself that discouragement is human and is not limited by marital status. And I'm going to remember more often that our God is not limited by our humanity or our marital status or our atrociously sinful hearts or statistics or the timetable on which it often seems everyone else's life operates. He sees our hearts, knows our rawest pain, hears our unspoken prayers. And because He loves us, we can come - even with our discouragement - and pray boldly.

And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” (Revelation 21:5)

Praying with you - to see all things made new,

Amy

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Very good read. I really feel this is a pressing issue in the christian chick population. I use to feel such empty feeling about not having a man or never being acknowledged by one. Now I just don't care anymore. Maybe I'm a bit discouraged or maybe the prayer I have had for awhile to remove anything that isn't for me. It's something that I think with this past year of seeing how bad I am with males has put alot in perspective.

 

[SweetSimplicity]

Thanks for sharing. I'm married and can relate to so many things in this post.

 

[SuchMagnificent]

In any case, we've recently lost a bit of steam, and I asked my friend why she thought we had lost that energy. Her answer was brutally honest: I hate to say it, but I think I've lost some of the urgency because I feel discouraged. I just don't see God answering prayer in this area. I just hear silence.

Bingo. I couldn't agree more. I just got tired of banging my head against the reality that I can't see what God is doing here, and I'm so frequently faithless in believing that He's doing anything. I just see ever larger potholes of fear, resentment, selfishness and jealously in my sinful heart. I see other people's fabulous, life-altering romantic relationship go from zero to engaged in the space it takes me to get one (mediocre) match.com date or get marginally less distracted by the ex sitting in the next row at church or restrain myself from packing all my stuff in boxes four months before my roommates' wedding. Small wins, people. Small wins.

And each passing milestone (the end of grad school, another birthday, oh-look-my-childhood-best-friend-has-two-kids) underscores the panicky feeling in my stomach that somehow this whole praying for a husband thing is going to require an actual miracle, because statistics and time and the current dating pool aren't getting more encouraging.

It's easy to be discouraged when those sorts of things are filling my head. It starts to look so absurd: why am I still telling God about desires that might not be met soon? Or ever? There is a deep lie that my story is off track and that God's not listening.

Very well put, thanks for sharing..Its a constant battle for me.

 

[sweetypoo705]

Thank you for the post- 47,single, no children. It can get discouraging not having a mate, but I also know that this is a good time for me to spend time with the Lord- the one He has for me hasn't made it to Alliance, Ohio yet He has everything in control- and once we are able to realize this, it makes it worth the wait because God knows what we need Be prayful and continue in God- He is Good- All the Time!!

 

[LoveisYou]

Ask and believe.....

I have a question, I understand the concept of meeting in a group to pray for a husband or having a group dedicated to that particular subject area....by why does it need to be a constant prayer? Isn't it enough to pray about it, trust, and leave it in God's hands? That's what i would think, if not I'd like to hear another point of view.

 

[loolalooh]

Ask and believe.....

I have a question, I understand the concept of meeting in a group to pray for a husband or having a group dedicated to that particular subject area....by why does it need to be a constant prayer? Isn't it enough to pray about it, trust, and leave it in God's hands? That's what i would think, if not I'd like to hear another point of view.

LoveisYou:

You are right -- "Ask and believe." "Pray about it, trust, and leave it in God's hands".

Continually praying can help us to build our faith and relationship with the Lord. It can help to strengthen us spiritually and increase our prayer life. Though 1 Thessalonians 5 refers more to having a consistent prayer life, I believe we can also apply it to continually bringing a prayer before God. God does hear us the first time when we pray. But for us, each time we bring the same prayer before Him, we are spending time with the Lord, thus building our relationship with Him. Additionally, we are demonstrating our persistence and faith in that we have not given up on God and our request. So, IMO, praying repeatedly on a subject is more for us (and our spiritual life) than for God.

That being said, it is certainly fine if one brings a prayer to the Lord once ... or if one brings it continuously ... so long as in either case there is an absence of worrying and a presence of trusting Him.

1 Thessalonians 5

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.