This needs to be said and read by all members....

[pebbles]

Hello Ladies,

I posted this on another thread and would like to post it here for everyone else to see because I think it's important that everyone is on the same page.

This forum has always been a friendly place. The atmosphere here has contributed greatly to the growing popularity of the forum and we make every effort to see that it stays that way. For new members who are unfamiliar with how this forum operates, please take the time to read the Forum Rules. Different rules apply to different forums and these are our rules. We expect all members to adhere to them.

If anyone is receiving rude or harrassing messages from members of this forum, I urge you to contact me by pm if you cannot deal with it, or if the issue has not been settled. If it's a misunderstanding, we'll try to clear it up. We can settle it in private so that the other members can continue to enjoy the information on the forum without having to witness any unpleasantness.

The forum rules are clear, and members are required to abide by them. Those who cannot, or choose to play by their own set of rules, have no place on this forum and they will be dealt with accordingly. Nikos and Beverly will have no problem backing any moderators decision to see that trouble makers are dealt with, and the integrity of the forum is maintained. They are both very nice people, but they both also have a very short fuse for nonsense. If you enjoy seeing

on a forum that continues unchecked for days, or are looking for a place to wreak havoc on members with no intervention from moderators and administrators, this forum is not for you.

I've had the misfortune of visiting other hair forums where the members are allowed to run amuck, and the moderators do anything but moderate. That's not allowed here, now or at anytime in the future. Many of the members here, including Beverly, were members of another forum where people would come on and start arguments, and the administrator/moderator would take no action. Those who have been here with us from the start know that is not our style, and we will intervene on any members behalf, whether people like it or not! SVT, Vevster, or myself will delete or close a thread to be rid of any unpleasantness quickly, so we do take an active role. In the interest of peace, we can and will edit or delete any posts deemed inappropriate or harassing.

Beverly created the LHCF so that all woman of color, regardless of hair texture, or style, who do not mind being on the same forum with members who wear their hair natural or relaxed, could come together and discuss hair care and maintenance or problems and setbacks in a friendly and non-hostile environment. Beverly and Nikos put a lot of hard work into creating and maintaining the smooth operation of this forum. It would be a shame to see all that hard work go to waiste.

If anyone needs me at anytime to help them out with any "drama" they are having to deal with, please do not hesitate to contact me. We want everyone here to have fun and enjoy the information on the forum, not spend their time here fending off unpleasant posts and pm's. Please keep in mind, a friendly response is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of a disciplined person, good up-bringing, and proper communication etiquette. (Not to mention maturity.)

I apologize for the lengthy post, but I feel this needed to be said.

Thanks for taking the time to read it.

 

[beverly]

Also, I hate to have to result to this, but I do not have a problem with deleteing memberships, and blocking IP addresses. I will be watching more closely from now on beginning this week. This is a friendly place, and I will not allow the relaxed or natural people to be harrassed and disrepectful people in general will not be allowed to remain here. This is not a political site, and there are other sites that do promote and allow those type of things.

 

[beverly]

And please feel free to PM me or email all threads that you feel are disturbing, Thank you.

 

[Nessa]

I agree with what both Pebbles and Beverly said. See I am kind of new. And I did not know what was going on. And then pebbles told me there was something happening with the ladies on the board having their ways on how to talk. If there is any bad thing or disrespect,or nasty comments. Then I cannot explore this site. My parents want me to go on safe sites. So I am just sayin please everyone lets be friendly and get along.

Sincerely,
Nessa.

 

[Ennyaa]

Wow. I haven't been on much so I missed whatever happened but I'm sure you guys have it all under control. I know you'll keep this forum a pleasant one that I enjoy coming to visit and I'm sorry to hear that there were some problems. Sadly there will always be trouble makers

but I feel better knowing you guys will handle them.

 

[Crysdon]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
This is not a political site, and there are other sites that do promote and allow those type of things.

[/ QUOTE ]

That's why I love it here! Some people just don't appreciate the peace and will try all their might to destroy it, but we won't let them.



Nessa,

Pebbles, Vevster, Nikos and Beverly will make sure you're in good hands.

 

[Country gal]

Pebbles,

Thanks for posting the rules again. I caught some flak a couple of months ago when I started the thread, "Why have we become so defensive". But I thought it was important for everyone to just take a moment to think before they respond in a hostile way to some of the threads. I really enjoy how nice a lot of ladies are in this membership and I just hope that we will continue to express ourselves freely without fear of this board becoming a negative, tense forum.

 

[zanna]

Amen to Pebbles and Beverly
I love this forum so much.
Long life to this forum

.

Sincerely
zanna

 

[Blackndiangirl]

I agree with what was said. I love this site also, and i dont want to see anything happen to it or make it go.

 

[Lita]

Thanks

Beverly &amp; Pebbles.This forum is a winner in my book

.Happy Hair Growing!

 

[Tonya]

I also love this site and I visit everyday. However, I have noticed lately that there has been alot of bickering and unneccesary picking with people. But I must say that the moderators (Beverly, Nikos, Pebbles and Vester) all do a wonderful job at keeping this board civil! Nessa, I doubt you will be exposed to anything on here because even if a "weirdo" makes it to the board our moderators do not hesitate to zapp those "infected" threads.
Moderators,
You are doing a great job and I appreciate your efforts to keep this a friendly site!

 

[Justice4alw]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
pebbles said:
Please keep in mind, a friendly response is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of a disciplined person, good up-bringing, and proper communication etiquette.




[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you, Pebbles. Everything in your post needed to be said, but I think that the quote above is the one thing that really stood out for me. I think that nowadays most people forget that we live in a CIVILIZED society where etiquette, courtesy, and all-around good manners are an integral part of keeping it so. Even though a lot of people on other boards don't feel this way, it's good to know and have it reinforced that this type of good sense and judgement is exercised by the administrators and moderators here.

I'll say again, I love this board!

 

[Allandra]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Justice4alw said:
I'll say again, I love this board!

[/ QUOTE ]

ME TOO!

 

[Armyqt]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Allandra said:
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Justice4alw said:
I'll say again, I love this board!

[/ QUOTE ]

ME TOO!

[/ QUOTE ]

I third this. Thanks to our moderators, Pebbles, Beverly, Nikos and Vevster for all the hard work you do and creating a wonderful climate for your members

.

 

[Jade21]

Pebbles,

I am very glad you posted what you did.

I think the other part of the etiquette issue is that there are times when it is best to simply WALK AWAY from a thread and truly let the moderators handle a situation. Do not go near it, just report it.

~Jade~

 

[daviine]

Jade--I hear ya! Even if I wanted to, I couldn't post on those threads because my heart starts beating all fast and I feel very uneasy when there's "beef" in a thread----

I end up having to close the thread---and in some cases--leave the club (obviously not this one)for a few days or so.

I take my online relationships seriously and can't even get into beef online. (Maybe too serious but oh well)

 

[sweetcocoa]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Jade21 said:
Pebbles,

I am very glad you posted what you did.

I think the other part of the etiquette issue is that there are times when it is best to simply WALK AWAY from a thread and truly let the moderators handle a situation. Do not go near it, just report it.

~Jade~

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this totally...and believe me it is not easy sometimes

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />


In reply to:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jade21 said:
Pebbles,

I am very glad you posted what you did.

I think the other part of the etiquette issue is that there are times when it is best to simply WALK AWAY from a thread and truly let the moderators handle a situation. Do not go near it, just report it.

~Jade~


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I agree with this totally...and believe me it is not easy sometimes

[/ QUOTE ]

Jade and Sweetcocoa,

I forgot to make mention of that, but walking away from a thread is one of the best things you can do, though as Sweetcocoa said, it can be difficult to do at times, and I understand that.

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
In reply to:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pebbles said:
Please keep in mind, a friendly response is not a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of a disciplined person, good up-bringing, and proper communication etiquette.





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Thank you, Pebbles. Everything in your post needed to be said, but I think that the quote above is the one thing that really stood out for me. I think that nowadays most people forget that we live in a CIVILIZED society where etiquette, courtesy, and all-around good manners are an integral part of keeping it so. Even though a lot of people on other boards don't feel this way, it's good to know and have it reinforced that this type of good sense and judgement is exercised by the administrators and moderators here.

I'll say again, I love this board!

[/ QUOTE ]

Hi Justice!

I think it was necessary to say that also because often times it feels as though being polite or friendly gives people the impression that you're weak or a push-over. To me, that's not the case. I've always been taught that it's not what you say but how you say it that makes all the difference in the world.

 

[Kitkat]

Re: This needs to be said and read by all members.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Jade21 said:
Pebbles,

I am very glad you posted what you did.

I think the other part of the etiquette issue is that there are times when it is best to simply WALK AWAY from a thread and truly let the moderators handle a situation. Do not go near it, just report it.

~Jade~

[/ QUOTE ]

Jade, you and everyone else are so right. This makes so much sense. Responding to these rabble rousers just gives them legitimacy in their eyes. Thanks for posting this thread, Pebbles. I'm glad that among our members we have so many voices of reason here. I'm also glad that the moderators on this site actually moderate. I visited other sites where people pretty much run amok with no consequences. It's a shame that these trolls can drive away some of our nicest members for a while, too. Thanks again to Pebbles and all the moderators.

 

[BlkMane]

Thanks for posting this Pebbles. I fortunately missed all the drama from last week, but based on what I "heard" I think your post is needed.

This is the friendliest hair board on the web for women of color and I would like to see it remain so.

I love it here...it's my home away from home.

Keep up the good work! (That goes for Vevster, Beverly and Nikos, too!)

 

[Robin41]

Thanks Pebbles, Bev, Vevster &amp; Nikos for keeping the board civilized. I too missed the drama (thankfully) but I'm glad it's been taken care of. Keep up the good work!

 

[Guest]

Re: This needs to be said and read by all members.

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
KitKat said:
I'm glad that among our members we have so many voices of reason here. I'm also glad that the moderators on this site actually moderate. I visited other sites where people pretty much run amok with no consequences. It's a shame that these trolls can drive away some of our nicest members for a while, too. Thanks again to Pebbles and all the moderators.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto to everything that has been said here

Additionally, another part of netiquette as been stated, is putting a serious halt to any kind of nonsensical posts that may have been directed toward you, by alerting the moderators or in the case of PMs, by sending them straight to Administration. Don't bother to waste any of your precious time responding to foolishness. Thank you Beverly, Pebbles, Nikos and Vevster for making this place a friendly as well as inspirational place to be

 

[HennaJoy]

I am glad to see this post and see it stuck to the top. I am thankful to the voice of both Pebbles and Bev here and know that what is being said is the same for other board administration.

A lot of forums may have rules that are worded similar. But when and if they are not adhered to there is never any real followup or follow through by administrators and moderators of those boards. So for new members, it really is important to see administrators and moderators at work making those rules real. That is obviously done here and therefore makes it feel not so risky to be here.

I think having this stuck where folks will see it reinforces what is also stated in the rules...and sometimes that second degree of reinforcement is needed as well as the specific steps to take when a problem arises.

HennaJoy

 

[Laela]

Pebbles/Beverly/Nikos/Vevster...

Excellent jobs keeping the forum going strong, ladies and gent.

As hair forum moderators you trim the endz (stamp out trolls); deep condition (give reminders of forum rules) and moisturize (keep threads from getting untamed)..

(sorry, just some comic relief)

 

[pebbles]

LOL! That was funny Laela. I never looked at it that way.

 

[Guest]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Pebbles/Beverly/Nikos/Vevster...

Excellent jobs keeping the forum going strong, ladies and gent.

As hair forum moderators you trim the endz (stamp out trolls); deep condition (give reminders of forum rules) and moisturize (keep threads from getting untamed)..

(sorry, just some comic relief)

[/ QUOTE ]

Very original Laela. Goodness knows we all could use a good dose of mirth around here

 

[zanna]

This is so well said Laela, very well said

Sincerely
Zanna

 

[Laela]

SeaMist/Zanna...thanks. I had fun writing it, but it's all in the name of us getting along so well. I love this board!

------------------------------------------------------------

 

[BabyCurls]

Pebbs, I will have to agree with you and Beverly on this serious subject. I feel that people who post should try to understand that we don't argue or disrespect any of the people here, and I want this to be an honest forum dedicated to growing our hair long. If they want to insult people, then they should be here at all. And one more note that you may keep in mind, I am a Christian, and feel that they should not be any favoritism among the members. I don't like to be around someone who can be so negative and post it on any of the boards. To me, it downright disgraceful. You can hurt your body, but you can't hurt anyone's feelings and regret it for the rest of your life.

Thanx, Pebbs, for setting the record straight with your message. You can judge someone for a crime committed, but you sure as heck, can't judge a book from its cover.