What happens when you wear your hair down?

frida1980

Well-Known Member
Sometimes I forget that I wear my hair up all the time. Buns, clips, pony tails, etc. I've gotten so used to having it out of my face and out the way, that I forget to let hang once in a while. So today, while making my returns from Black Friday, I finally let it hang.

The reaction was interesting.

People staring, though I'm not sure why. It's at BSL length again, but I feel like I have something on my face or something. Oddly enough, none of the thug types hit on me when it's down. They still stare intently, but are too um... stunned(?) to approach. They have no problem coming after me when it's in a bun or pony tail though. I have no idea why white women are staring though.

But the most annoying thing is the stylist. I walked in a JC Penney and the mall and had to practically fight off two stylist who were convinced that I needed to come in. Yeah, I've checked and dusted my ends so I'm good.

I'm not sure why I get a reaction like this, when so many BW wear weaves the same length and I doubt that most people could tell the difference anyway!

Oh well, I don't know what to make of it. But it's not good enough to make me stop putting my hair up...
 
Just some thoughts:

Thug types often go after what's familiar to them: the typical weave headed girl from the hood. You're not the weave headed girl from the hood. They don't know who you are and therefore don't know how to approach.
White women are staring because you are not supposed to have hair. You're supposed to have a weave to have long hair. They can be the most serious of the 'haters'.

Too many sisters wear hair that screams "WEAVE!" from afar, and they think people can't tell the difference. Some people can, and then some people can't and they wonder if it's real so they stare.
 

divachyk

Instagram: adaybyjay
As annoying as it was....embrace the fact that they are staring in amazement. As for the stylists, some stylists LOVE hair so when they see a nice head, they want to be up in it to create a variety of styles or "masterpieces" as I've heard some call it. As for the hood dudes, if wearing your hair down is all that you have to do to keep them away, then girl, you need to wear your hair down all the time.
 

frida1980

Well-Known Member
Just some thoughts:

Thug types often go after what's familiar to them: the typical weave headed girl from the hood. You're not the weave headed girl from the hood. They don't know who you are and therefore don't know how to approach.
White women are staring because you are not supposed to have hair. You're supposed to have a weave to have long hair. They can be the most serious of the 'haters'.

Too many sisters wear hair that screams "WEAVE!" from afar, and they think people can't tell the difference. Some people can, and then some people can't and they wonder if it's real so they stare.

1st Bolded: I never thought they were that "deep" to be honest. For a while I thought they hit on anything that moved.

2nd Bolded: I guess WW are more observant than I thought. I kept thinking, what's their problem all day. It's just weird to get stared at when your not the only black person around... Just rude...

As annoying as it was....embrace the fact that they are staring in amazement. As for the stylists, some stylists LOVE hair so when they see a nice head, they want to be up in it to create a variety of styles or "masterpieces" as I've heard some call it. As for the hood dudes, if wearing your hair down is all that you have to do to keep them away, then girl, you need to wear your hair down all the time.

Yeah they can stay away. I've discovered that long hair is a masterpiece already.

Maybe I do need to wear it down to keep the thug types away, but it's long enough to get annoying so I'm reluctant. It feel really different too. Like a cape or something kinda slithering on my neck and back. I should probably do it more so I get used to it.
 

Ms Lala

Well-Known Member
I understand. Sometimes I feel real self conscious when I wear my hair out. I don't like getting my hair fluffed but looks don't really bother me.
 

Toy

Well-Known Member
So this happens a lot? What the heck? Do people really look at BW hair so much that it stuns them to see real hair? It's just kinda awkward....

I expierenced the Thug Situation this past weekend at the store my hair was down while it dried as i was walking out the store i turned around he was staring and when he noticed i was looking at him he turned his eyes the other way.
 

frida1980

Well-Known Member
I expierenced the Thug Situation this past weekend at the store my hair was down while it dried as i was walking out the store i turned around he was staring and when he noticed i was looking at him he turned his eyes the other way.

:ohwell:

I wonder what he's thinking exactly....

"That's real?! Too rich for my blood!"

or

"Since she got real hair, she don't want to talk to me..."

I mean what is it about real hair that makes a thug type turn the other way. Not my educated speech pattern. Not the way I hold myself. Not the clothes I wear. But my hair? Really?
 

Minty

Well-Known Member
I remember the first long haired - waist length 4b relaxed head I saw. There was a ladies only party and she came with another friend of mine. She took off her scarf and I like to pass out all that beautiful hair. I didn't want to give her the eye so I had to find something else to look at. LOL

Take it as a compliment.
 

greight

Well-Known Member
I remember when I had my hair out once (twist out). I looked nice, but :kanyeshrug: I didn't think too much of it (I was trying out styles... hair was APL then)

But man, I remember I ran onto the train at the last minute where there were no empty seats. I sighed and was about to put on my iPod when this 22ish year old white guy just jumped out of his seat, offered it to me, then proceeded to stare at me for a minute after I said thank you :lol:. I had two black guys literally circle around me at a bus stop to trying to say hello. One said, "you're like this Afro-goddess." :grin:

I once was in a party and was talking to about 3, 4 guys at once and they kept staring at my face and hair. I assure you, 2 of these men have seen me before so I know it's not my beauty, lol.

ALL OF THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME NORMALLY! I get looks, compliments, but never the fall out of your seat "can I marry you?" stares.

Be like me and let the amazement just fluff out your ego a bit more, bwahaha!
 

Myjourney2009

Ready to be APL
Child, I was just telling Divachyk about this a couple of weeks ago.

I dont even have long hair, it is at the bottom of my neck but the stares were OUT OF THIS WORLD. One guy just kept on looking almost like he was in love it was amusing (I felt like a star LOL).
 

diadall

New Member
I do not have long hair but I have big hair and although women are always telling me that its not straight enough and what I should do, men tell me leave it alone, they like how big and fluffy it is.
Snapshot 2010-11-29 20-43-35.jpg
 

Sianna

New Member
:ohwell:

I wonder what he's thinking exactly....

"That's real?! Too rich for my blood!"

or

"Since she got real hair, she don't want to talk to me..."

I found the bolded comment to be particularly striking! :yep: I think that most black men who see a black woman with unusually long hair think that she must be privy to something that most other black women are not. Perhaps she's extremely wealthy and has some sort of hair potion that the general populous couldn't purchase with a year's salary. This would likely place the woman "out of his league."

Oh, and to answer the question, nothing happens when I wear my hair down. :look:

My NL barely scratching the surface of SL hair has yet to turn any heads! :lol:
 

loveisnthehouse

New Member
I get a lot of compliments when my hair is down. The whole day is spent with my coworkers telling me how pretty my hair looks. It's GREAT for the ego! :D
 

Solitude

Well-Known Member
When I wear my hair down, it annoys me because it gets caught on my bag or purse or whatever else. Also, people ask me if my hair is natural because it's thick and a lot of women in my circle have natural hair.

As far as the men thing....they like my hair, but I catch all types with my shape :wink2:.
 

diadall

New Member
I am now experiencing the seat belt issue. Wearing my hair down and the seat belt don't get along. I still wear my seat belt. I just have to be careful. That hasn't happened in a while. Glad my hair is retaining length.
 

diadall

New Member
smh at those stylists foaming at the mouth to get you in the chair! ♥

I think another reason they want to do it is for bragging rights. If they do your hair once they can point out to others, "yeah, I do her hair." Even though your growth has nothing to do with them.
 

frida1980

Well-Known Member
I think another reason they want to do it is for bragging rights. If they do your hair once they can point out to others, "yeah, I do her hair." Even though your growth has nothing to do with them.

Last time I got a relaxer my natural hair was SL length and it came out nicely. Much more nicely than 95% of relaxers I've seen. My styist was a trip though. She was very propriatory over me and my hair. My stylist was committed to keeping it SL. She'd cut it two inches every 2nd relaxer. She said it was dead anyway. I know now that my head was a good bragging point.

Now, I know exactly how to do my hair without touching a relaxer. Most of my set backs have been from stylist that don't know how to really cut hair. So when I see a young one sniffing around, I get kinda nervous. Their the most likely to leave me three inches shorter.

Nah, I'll leave it to someone in super cuts, who'll snip 1" and leave me alone.
 

lana

Well-Known Member
Well I wore my hair down (freshly washed and flat ironed with a few spirals in there for effect) and when I walked into the party I think the music screeched to a halt and a few people craned their necks to see the girl with the big/long hair! I was with my DH and he even noticed the stares. (lol) They mostly came from other women, although they were not mean looks, just looks of interest and a few people checking for tracks. (lol)

I notice when I wear it out (without shrinkage) I get a lot of long looks from other women. But oddly enough random people don't run up to me and ask me for hair secrets, friends do. So I think I must have a "do not approach look".

My favorite experience was when I walked past a little girl at the mall and she and her mommy were staring at my hair and she said, "I want hair like that when I grow up."

I on the other hand stared at this bonestraight relaxed head the other day while ordering food and she noticed, I just smiled brightly and looked away. I already diagnosed exactly what she does to get her hair that straight with one look. (lol) It was a pretty head of hair, just not for me. Texlaxed Lye is the only way I roll.
 

MysteryMermaid

New Member
I expierenced the Thug Situation this past weekend at the store my hair was down while it dried as i was walking out the store i turned around he was staring and when he noticed i was looking at him he turned his eyes the other way.

--------------------------------------------------------------

:kick2:<THUGSZ!!??

lmao... call me crazy, but I love the wealthy thugs.. the Floyd Mayweather types :mmmchocolate: lmao...... (don't front- I ain't the only sista like this in here)

I love this post BTW... I can't wait 'til I can be like

"..look, they're all up in my follicles...*princess waving*...."

:blush3:
 

MysteryMermaid

New Member
I remember when I had my hair out once (twist out). I looked nice, but :kanyeshrug: I didn't think too much of it (I was trying out styles... hair was APL then)

But man, I remember I ran onto the train at the last minute where there were no empty seats. I sighed and was about to put on my iPod when this 22ish year old white guy just jumped out of his seat, offered it to me, then proceeded to stare at me for a minute after I said thank you :lol:. I had two black guys literally circle around me at a bus stop to trying to say hello. One said, "you're like this Afro-goddess." :grin:

I once was in a party and was talking to about 3, 4 guys at once and they kept staring at my face and hair. I assure you, 2 of these men have seen me before so I know it's not my beauty, lol.

ALL OF THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME NORMALLY! I get looks, compliments, but never the fall out of your seat "can I marry you?" stares.

Be like me and let the amazement just fluff out your ego a bit more, bwahaha!
______________


Lord knows that I can handle my hair ego being fluffed out another 8 inches in the next 11 months like NJoys!!
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
I get more attention when I'm wearing my hair down. I think it's a combination of it being down and me projecting more confidence.

I don't like the stares though. Even if they are admiring stares it's still uncomfortable.
 

MysteryMermaid

New Member
When I wear my hair down, it annoys me because it gets caught on my bag or purse or whatever else. Also, people ask me if my hair is natural because it's thick and a lot of women in my circle have natural hair.

As far as the men thing....they like my hair, but I catch all types with my shape :wink2:.
___________________


What!?

Go'on with ya bad self.
 

divachyk

Instagram: adaybyjay
When I wear mine down, it gets all tangled (kinda like how wigs get tangled at the nape). It makes me hot and then I start sweating which is not lady like. :grin: But, even with my measly APL hair, folk be staring like I'm an alien. I know they stare in amazement because seeing APL hair IRL is like have hair down to the flo (floor) for where I live. :lachen:
 

sensi sweetie

New Member
Just some thoughts:

Thug types often go after what's familiar to them: the typical weave headed girl from the hood. You're not the weave headed girl from the hood. They don't know who you are and therefore don't know how to approach.
White women are staring because you are not supposed to have hair. You're supposed to have a weave to have long hair. They can be the most serious of the 'haters'.

Really? What facts/experiences do you have to support this? I have found this to be false. First off, white woman are use to seeing AA woman with long hair because of yes, weaves. Second of all most white chicks can't tell a weave from real hair. They just can't. They don't care. Maybe I have just been lucky with the people I have encountered. One of my white bffs saw this site up on my computer and spent 30 minutes looking at it while I got ready. She thought it was "awesome" and borrowed a bottle of Vo5 to cowash with that same day :lol:

@OP

I know sometimes I *can't help* but look at gorgeous people (of all races) with attractive features :grin: It's usually just pure envy and a little bit of inspiration. I don't see why we interpret that into malicious, racist, jealousy. That my be the case like 25% of the time but :nono: Jesus... I don't think everyone in the world is hatin on bw with long hair. Sorry.

As for the stylists... Well.. Whats new. Stylists always want to chop off everyones hair. That ish sucks

And men think you are attractive but out of their league

I think what happened was you looked good that day, people noticed, and you enjoyed it :grin::grin:

Take it as a self esteem booster and don't try and make it into something negative!!
:love4:
 
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LushLox

Well-Known Member
I get a lot of stares from BW seemingly trying to make an assessment lol. I sat next to a woman on the train recently who spent most of the journey looking into my hair, the ignorance in me was going to say something but I didn't bother.

As for the guys, yeah the stares have definitely increased. :eek:

There's something about real healthy hair though, to me it looks so different from a weave. I can spot real (healthy looking) hair a mile off because it normally looks so good.
 
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