When a "natural head" sees another in public...

[song_of_serenity]

Maybe it's because I'm newly natural(for the second time around in years) and suddenly my perception changed. But lately, I've been seeing a lot more ladies wearing their natural hair lately.

However, it still isn't as abundant as say, seeing a straight haired person, so I've noticed that there is usually some kind of "acknowledgement" going on when I see one and she sees me. Kind of like being one of a few black individuals at the workplace/school/neighborhood and giving that "bruh man head nod" They usually look at my hair and smile and I do the same and we both keep it moving. Not every look is a big gushy "OH WOW" situation, don't get me wrong.


...However, not every glance is nice, either. I smiled at a lady who kept glancing at me. She had a nicely shaped twa. I thought it was an "oooh, another natural!" thing, but when I met her glance and smiled, she looked at me, looked at my hair, did a screw face and went back reading. *shrugs*

Do you usually go out of your way to smile at another natural person? Do they usually smile back "knowingly?" No big deal at seeing another natural individual? What are your reactions upon seeing another "natural head" when majority tends to go for other styling options? Thank you!

 

[msa]

I try to compliment every single natural I see since it's so rare. I just want every natural to have some type of positive feedback because they may not be getting it anywhere else.

Generally, there's some type of acknowledgment between other naturals and myself, even if it's just an approving glance.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

I do the same as Msa. Um..in regards to the woman that kinda turned her nose up at you. You said she had a TWA, right? It might've been some cattiness from your length. Or she was just rude..so many have stank attitudes these days I don't even pay them any mind anymore. Go be stank by yourself. *hops off mini soapbox* Anyways, it's usually a nod/smile combo, or a flat out compliment. I usually get the same.

 

[Taina]

For me is just another person with some hairstyle, I compliment the beautiful hair, it doesn't matter is is natural or relaxed.

 

[Neith]

Nah. You'd have to say something about my hair for me to know.

I do think "nice hair" When I see a great head of hair... but it's a surprise to me that other naturals have an unspoken code. lol

 

[SEMO]

There is still sorta a special look/acknowledgment when I see another natural, but not as much as it used to be. Now that I'm completely comfortable with having and wearing my hair natural, I'm not usually checking my surroundings to see if anyone else is sporting a natural. So I notice other naturals less now (not purposely).

 

[NikStarrr]

I thought after going natural I'd share "knowing" looks, nods of approval etc. from other naturals, but really that hasn't happened too much. There are so many natural heads here in ATL, it just doesn't seem to be a big deal. And to top it off, I get the most compliments from relaxed women. *shrug*

 

[Keedah]

I do the glance. The only time I go out of my way is when its a teenager cause its really rare in our area for someone in high school to go natural. I feel they need all the support I can offer.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Well my afro is at a size now that anytime I rock it I get stares and inevitably I'll get that knowing smile or someone will come up to me, tell me they've always wanted to go natural but never knew how, I love those moments, most recently I jotted down some tips for an African lady on the train and she was SO grateful its a great feeling.

I give adults smiles and knowing glances and if they wanna talk I'm always more than glad to talk hair but whenever I see a little girl with super tightly coily hair who looks at me with admiration and uncertainty.... I tell them "I LOVE your hair! You look so beautiful! Many of them have a face like really? MY hair? then they say thanks, or their face will light up as it might be the first time ever they're hearing that ever or in a long while and they say thank you. I especially make it my business to give those little girls with the dense tightly coily hair some encouragement and love.

 

[Pandora1975]

I compliment them. I saw a girl with an identical puff yesterday, and we did the nod and grin- but it wasn't enough- I needed more. I complimented her, and we traded product loves. I love the connected feeling I get (and I'm a bit anti-social. Does that mean my hair is changing me?).

 

[Neith]

I compliment them. I saw a girl with an identical puff yesterday, and we did the nod and grin- but it wasn't enough- I needed more. I complimented her, and we traded product loves. I love the connected feeling I get (and I'm a bit anti-social. Does that mean my hair is changing me?).

This reminds me of a cute incident on the train I saw a couple years back.

A cute girl with an afro got on the train. Then a handsome guy with an identical fro got on. They both looked like they were in their early 20's and looked well groomed and stylish. And they had nice, healthy big fros.

They both had to stand because there were no seats. They wound up standing right across from eachother.

Their eyes met and they both just giggled (mostly the girl giggled, but the guy laughed too) They started talking, but after that I didn't notice what happened.

It was cute. I think they probably did hook up

It would be funny to see someone with identical hair. I can see stuff like that happening sometimes... but in day to day life, I don't really connect with people like that.

 

[SelahOco]

If I love her hair, I'll tell her. I have alot of natural hair convos now cause people will stop me and ask me questions. But, when I see naturals in general, I will look at her and smile, but if she doesnt look back I dont press.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I may compliment the other person but usually we just look at each other and keep going. If it looks outstanding then I will say so.

 

[gymfreak336]

I am not natural but I like to compliment naturals when I see them, especially if they have twa's since that style for many people is one that is hard to rock.

 

[tocktick]

Tbh, I don't think that woman's coldness was definitely down to your hair. Your hair have been some thing she merely noticed but didn't feel anything about in particular. I notice a lot of people's eyes glance upwards to my own hair (even if they're natural too).

Naturals here do not really acknowledge each other. No-one has given me a "yay! You're natural too" type of smile. Tbh, I think if I smiled at a natural they would probably think I was just being friendly in general. When I see a natural in public, it makes me happy. Although I've been natural for almost 3 years, I still get fascinated by other people's natural hair. I just don't feel the need to give the head nod though.

 

[JadeFox]

there are a lot of naturals in the dc area, so it's pretty common to see a variety of natural heads whether it's long, short, coily or curly. where compliments are given and received is when the hairstyle itself is innovative. ex. intricate cornrows, twist updos, overall maintenance, hair color, etc

 

[Mizz Diamonds]

Tbh, I don't think that woman's coldness was definitely down to your hair. Your hair have been some thing she merely noticed but didn't feel anything about in particular. I notice a lot of people's eyes glance upwards to my own hair (even if they're natural too).

Naturals here do not really acknowledge each other. No-one has given me a "yay! You're natural too" type of smile. Tbh, I think if I smiled at a natural they would probably think I was just being friendly in general. When I see a natural in public, it makes me happy. Although I've been natural for almost 3 years, I still get fascinated by other people's natural hair. I just don't feel the need to give the head nod though.

Yeah I agree I see half and half naturals and relaxed heads weaved up it anyones hair is looking good I'll be a little bit jealous saw a woman with shaved hair the other day it looked on point.

I think it's depends on where you live if natural hair is a rarity then you'll be happy to see another person but when its not its like "just another hairstyle." which is like that for me not much of a "YAY! you're natural too we are kindred spirits" But I get why some women may feel that and that's good too

 

[andromeda]

Seeing as how I live in Brooklyn, I wouldn't be able to get anything done if I acknowledged every natural. There's just so many of us, it's perceived as a norm - which is great! I have given compliments to naturals with beautiful hair and there are more than a few natural (and relaced) heads that have rendered me awestruck and speechless.

 

[CandiedLipgloss]

It depends if they look 'approachable'. Some ppl are in a rush or look down right mean...
If I get a good vibe, then I compliment them.

Once when I went to the photo center in Walmart, I had wrapped my hair in a scarf. I was being lazy, but my fro was a mess and I didn't want to wear it out. The lady who worked there assumed because she saw my scarf, that I was a natural, she asked me if I relaxed my hair, and I told her no,that it was a fro under my scarf.

Omg, this lady grabbed me in the biggest bear hug ever, and was like:I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!! YOU GO GIRL! DONT YOU EVER RELAX YOUR HAIR!!!

She made a huge scene, ppl were coming around to see what the commotion was about. I swear it looked like I just met a long lost sister or something...lol Of course I smiled, and hers was wrapped too, she said she was natural as well. lol

That was so funny...but nice at the same time.

 

[Whimsy]

Generally it's indifference I guess...?
I sometimes am blown away by the beauty of some woman's hair so I'll compliment them.

 

[Celestial]

I always smile. I noticed when I locked heads with another natural we both look at each other and smile at the same time.

 

[dlove]

I thought after going natural I'd share "knowing" looks, nods of approval etc. from other naturals, but really that hasn't happened too much. There are so many natural heads here in ATL, it just doesn't seem to be a big deal. And to top it off, I get the most compliments from relaxed women. *shrug*

@ bolded -same thing here in Florida. They kind of look at me like "dont smile at me"

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I usually try to eye her in secret. Where I came from, it just is trouble if another woman catches you eyeing her down. It just motivates me to try to learn how to copy her style.
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[MizzBrown]

I was happy to see one at my job. She left but she checks up on me to make sure that I don't get a relaxer and tells me "its time to get those braids!".

I was so happy to see that she was a true natural. Puff and all. Inspired me to try to transition again.

 

[Renewed1]

I live in Colorado (a mostly white state) so I get stares and compliments from white people. But the funny thing is...




I'm usually wearing a curly wig. LOL!!!

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I might say something to the person but so many of the women here really don't know how to take compliments so I usually just gush to DH about it.

 

[goldielocs]

In in Phoenix so I smile at all the AA I come into contact with. There aren't many of us here. I tend to smile at those who are natural and a conversation soon follows. Those who are natural tend to offer compliments and those with locs almost always want to talk. I get compliments from a lot of white women too- especially when my hair is curled.

I noticed some people here don't smile or speak, but I don't let that stop me. I'm "country" so I speak to everyone who doesn't look insane.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

Whenever I see another natural, we just automatically eye each other and usually at least smile, if not stop and talk. In a sea of relaxed heads, it's like seeing a long lost cousin sometimes

 

[trenise]

Even though I am relaxed, I often wear my hair in natural looking style, I even sometimes can "fro" it. I notice that people treat me differently if my hair looks natural. And yes, other black people with actually natural hair look at me and smile more. It's like we're admiring one another.

 

[CurliDiva]

Some naturals don't seem to take compliments well!

A simple nod or thank you is fine with me......I sense that some are defensive like they really can't believe you like their hair, esp if your length or texture does not match their (like a 3c giving a 4c a compliment is false somehow)

I still at least smile and keep it rolling