Why do I CARE to have long hair when I come here, but don't in RL?

[RegaLady]

I know this is an inside question that I need to ask for myself, but I really want to know if anyone else feels this wayerplexed. When I amongst all you pretty long haired women, I want to grow my hair out longer. I kinda obsess myself with the idea that I want longer hair, and maybe go natural.
But, when I go out in real life, and look at all the other women, both white and black, short and long, I really don't seem to care about the length of my hair, but more so about the overall health. I don't over consume my mind about length. I see how other women rock whatever style they have and like it! It is not a struggle to grow hair out, but the things that go into it, to get it, seems like so much.
I guess I wonder if this site is a reality to what I want, or is real life a reflection on what I really want. Anyone want to weigh in?

 

[jamaraa]

I think you care when here vs IRL because that's ALL people talk about, hair length. Technically the site is supposed to be about care rather than growth, but that's the main topic of discussion. Maybe it just seems so important while here because it's so important to others. At times, the desperate vibe puts me off because you pick up on the energy around you. When it gets like that, it's time to take a break from the site, IMHO.

 

[TLC1020]

I understand what you are saying but I think I feel a little different. My SO and I went to a gathering last night and the women had short hair, most had shoulder length hair or shorter and very few had APL hair. Now I feel like having APL hair or longer sets me apart from the most women. Granted most of the women hair was cute b/c they obvious went to the salon by the look of their styles but I don't know that they were/are happy with their hair. Hair is one of the most talked about topics in the black community. I'm okay with the length of my hair, however I am still aiming for MBL. When I'm on this board it gives me motivation that MBL is possible b/c I don't really see MBL all that often.

 

[ebzonix]

I think you care when here vs IRL because that's ALL people talk about, hair length. Technically the site is supposed to be about care rather than growth, but that's the main topic of discussion. Maybe it just seems to important while here because it's so important to others. At times, the desperate vibe puts me off because you pick up on the energy around you. When it gets like that, it's time to take a break from the site, IMHO.

I do agree. There are a lot of threads about growth, but there are also a fair amount of threads about hair products and the good/bad hair days.

I completely understand where you're coming from, my personal experience has lead me to want longer hair for awhile, maybe when you see all these long haired ladies, you think their hair is so long and healthy; and you want the healthy part of that observation.

 

[RegaLady]

I think you care when here vs IRL because that's ALL people talk about, hair length. Technically the site is supposed to be about care rather than growth, but that's the main topic of discussion. Maybe it just seems so important while here because it's so important to others. At times, the desperate vibe puts me off because you pick up on the energy around you. When it gets like that, it's time to take a break from the site, IMHO.

ITA...I understand when everyone really wants to grow it long, I really do. But, then I feel maybe I am getting too old to be so obsessed with length like this.erplexed A break may be what I need, but it gets too addictive, here.

 

[RegaLady]

I understand what you are saying but I think I feel a little different. My SO and I went to a gathering last night and the women had short hair, most had shoulder length hair or shorter and very few had APL hair. Now I feel like having APL hair or longer sets me apart from the most women. Granted most of the women hair was cute b/c they obvious went to the salon by the look of their styles but I don't know that they were/are happy with their hair. Hair is one of the most talked about topics in the black community. I'm okay with the length of my hair, however I am still aiming for MBL. When I'm on this board it gives me motivation that MBL is possible b/c I don't really see MBL all that often.

I can understand that! I guess I feel like IRL what I am sets me apart, regardless of my length. I just don't need longer hair to gain that. However, you don't see many black women with APL or longer hair, so attaining it would give you a slight edge!

 

[RegaLady]

I do agree. There are a lot of threads about growth, but there are also a fair amount of threads about hair products and the good/bad hair days.

I completely understand where you're coming from, my personal experience has lead me to want longer hair for awhile, maybe when you see all these long haired ladies, you think their hair is so long and healthy; and you want the healthy part of that observation.

I think so...I was in store the other day, when I caught a glimpse of a black girl with NL, shiny, pretty hair. By the standards on this board, the length may not have been long, however, it was sooooooo healthy and striking, that I HAD to compliment her on it. It's like that is what is ultimately eye-catching to me.
I think I am just confused about what I really want. As the saying goes, 'When in doubt, don't do anything."

 

[SandySea]

I was definitely not really interested in long hair before I cut my hair 6 wks. ago. Now I think about length a lot more. I really hate my length and refuse to wear my hair down. I guess I'd be one of the short-haired girls in the room--and I don't like it. The cut was cute at first, and it's growing out fast--at least. But once it reaches my usual length, I too will be less interested in the length thing.

 

[ravenmerlita]

I agree that it might be the focus of the board and the types of threads that make you feel that way. I'm the opposite. I've lost my obsession with growing long hair while on here and IRL. But I find that I care more about having long hair IRL than I do when I am on here.

 

[Paradox]

Now that I know from this site it is possible to have long healthy hair, I truly want longer hair.
I do care more about growing longer hair for this site, because the people on here care and appreciate healthy hair. In the real world, people could care less, so I will be doing protective hair styles 90% of the time.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I understand what you are saying but I think I feel a little different. My SO and I went to a gathering last night and the women had short hair, most had shoulder length hair or shorter and very few had APL hair. Now I feel like having APL hair or longer sets me apart from the most women. Granted most of the women hair was cute b/c they obvious went to the salon by the look of their styles but I don't know that they were/are happy with their hair. Hair is one of the most talked about topics in the black community. I'm okay with the length of my hair, however I am still aiming for MBL. When I'm on this board it gives me motivation that MBL is possible b/c I don't really see MBL all that often.

ITA There are many beautiful women of color on this site, that show that long hair is possible. This makes you more motivated to obtain your own goals. I feel in real life I don't care so much because my hair already looks better than most. It's healthy and logner than shoulder length. It's shiny without products, and it's bouncy. I do have my inner motivation though, mainly because of this site to get to BSL because of the beautiful heads I see

 

[RegaLady]

Now that I know from this site it is possible to have long healthy hair, I truly want longer hair.
I do care more about growing longer hair for this site, because the people on here care and appreciate healthy hair. In the real world, people could care less, so I will be doing protective hair styles 90% of the time.

Bingo, that may be it! So, it really is just a personal choice for me, that's all! Not, that I didn't know that. I just loose focus because I am here, ...or there.

 

[ChelzBoo]

for me personally, im starting to not care as much for long hair but for more healthy hair. i think hair of all lengths is beautiful as long as its healthy. because its been many times where ive seen black girls with long hair but its damaged and all scraggly lookin. and to me thats a waste length. and sometimes i see woman with nice sl hair that is healthy and flowin and i think its soo beautiful. so for me,when i first joined this forum i was all about length, length, length. but now im so for health, health, health. and hopefully i can retain some in the process. i understand wantint to prove that black girls can have long hair like other races, but i think it takes a whole lot more work for us to attain it. not saying i dont want to put in the work, but as long as my hair is healthy, i could careless what people think as long as i love my hair.

 

[skyborn09]

I agree to..I use to be all about length but now I'm all about health!

 

[Marand13]

If you focus on the health of your hair the length will come...