Do you want to come off as being as good or better then white women?

[CurleeDST]

Actually, my hubby says this all the time, women with long hair blend in because EVERYBODY has long hair. We live in Maryland and he was raised in VA.

I AM equal to other women, regardless of race, and not because of something as shallow as hair. I stand out b/c of my personality - not my hair - eventhough I do get compliments on it from time to time.

Do you - stop worrying about everybody else.

I thought about this from one of hannagirl thread. I know most of us just want long healthy hair for ourselves but do you want to come a cross as equal or better then white women? Is saying see our hair can grow that long too, is saying I"m equal when it comes to hair.
If you do want to be equal or better then white women, is it bad to think that way. I want long hair because i want to see how long i can grow my hair but i also want to stand out. Some of y'all know how i feel about dark skin women with long hair. I'm just being honest.
No I have not been drinking. lol.
I just really want to know so please don't run to the mods about my thread. Thank you plove

 

[Crissi]

I think we are equal to any woman when it comes to hair growing hair, however we have to remember that LHCF is SPECIAL and very few black womenbeleive they can grow hair like any other woman. Im growing my hair because ive always wanted long hair, but lets be real, there is a shortage of "dark skinned women" with long natural hair, and i want to and will be one of them! Besides i think there is just something sexy about long natural hair, anywhoo i digress...

ETA: Plus i have NEVER had long hair before...

 

[CurleeDST]

I can't vouch for their being a shortage of dark-skinned women with long hair. I visited Panama in 2000 and it seemed long hair on black folks there was the norm not the exception. Perhaps in America but in the caribbean - I have also seen it plenty in Jamaica.

In the end - I am not my hair and do not place that much credence or focus in it. Length is a personal choice and nothing I feel need to be proven to ANYONE on the fact it grows. Of course it grows - that is how God made it.

But for me it is all JUST HAIR b/c I have a very close friend who was born WITHOUT hair (no eyebrows, no hair on her head and no nails) so that puts it all in perspective for me. She is a beautiful woman and proudly displays her bald head. She does wear wigs from time to time to switch up her look but mostly she wears her naturaly bald head uncovered.

 

[malachi74]

Personally, I'm not thinking about any white chick when I'm DCing my hair or hunting for splits or whatever. I'm thinking about my hair swanging, being healthy and looking cute.

I agree with you but I must say that I am also trying to prove a point that my hair and people with hair like mine CAN have long beautiful hair without it being a weave or without me being 1st generation bi-racial, etc. I care that other blacks acknowledge this, especially black males. So many people that look like us think that it's just not possible for Black women to have fabulously long hair unless they are mixed, etc.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...if a weave looks good it looks good, BUT if it's your own hair (growing out of your scalp) that means so much more, it represents much more IMO.

 

[Mahalialee4]

White women are the last thing on my mind? I do not want their hair. Now there are some sistahs, that have hair that blows all the negative out the window, and we know who they are. No No. My ideals are the sistahs on the boards. bonjour

 

[Energist]

What I'd like to know is why is it when a Black woman does have "out of the norm" long hair she needs to be mixed with something? I've been around White people who discuss things like this and will swear up and down that a Black persons long hair is due to White ancestry. I feel like they don't want to believe that it's just possible because it is. I think it'd bother some of them to think that Black hair can just grow just as long as theirs without any White gene help! It's quite interesting what comes up in these conversations erplexed

 

[glamazon386]

Yeah, yeah, yeah...if a weave looks good it looks good, BUT if it's your own hair (growing out of your scalp) that means so much more, it represents much more IMO.

I agree with this.

 

[chica_canella]

What I'd like to know is why is it when a Black woman does have "out of the norm" long hair she needs to be mixed with something? I've been around White people who discuss things like this and will swear up and down that a Black persons long hair is due to White ancestry. I feel like they don't want to believe that it's just possible because it is. I think it'd bother some of them to think that Black hair can just grow just as long as theirs without any White gene help! It's quite interesting what comes up in these conversations erplexed

yeah, i've heard some things like that also. It's quite sad though. What did you say when they say things like that?

 

[jasmin]

What if I thought I was better than white women (men) for many reasons that had nothing to do with hair or looks.

 

[Energist]

yeah, i've heard some things like that also. It's quite sad though. What did you say when they say things like that?

Well, I remember this one time it was in reference to Aaliyah, after her death a few coworkers of mine were talking and one girl said that she was beautiful and had really pretty hair for a Black girl (she didn't think that statement was insulting although it was) and then another girl said, well it was more than likely a weave, but it suited her very well. Well I jumped in and said that it was all her hair, and then one of the girls began to imply that she may be mixed then and I said no, both of her parents are Black, and one girl looked at me like I was starting something and shut up and the other one said well Black American's all usually claim to have White or Native ancestry, so that's probably what it is. She just didn't realize how ignorant she sounded and I didn't want to get into an argument with her, so I left it alone.

Another was Vanessa Williams situation and I'm sure you all can imagine the turn that convo was taking. I jumped in and said that both her parents are Black, fair skinned Black but she is not biracial. The fact that she has blue/grey eyes, long blondish hair, and caucasionesque features bothered them to know that 2 Black parents contributed to the creation of that. Yeah, there are most likely White genes thrown in there, but her parents are both Black. Usually they will change topics when they realize that they are being ignorant or insulting.

 

[chica_canella]

Well, I remember this one time it was in reference to Aaliyah, after her death a few coworkers of mine were talking and one girl said that she was beautiful and had really pretty hair for a Black girl (she didn't think that statement was insulting although it was) and then another girl said, well it was more than likely a weave, but it suited her very well. Well I jumped in and said that it was all her hair, and then one of the girls began to imply that she may be mixed then and I said no, both of her parents are Black, and one girl looked at me like I was starting something and shut up and the other one said well Black American's all usually claim to have White or Native ancestry, so that's probably what it is. She just didn't realize how ignorant she sounded and I didn't want to get into an argument with her, so I left it alone.

Another was Vanessa Williams situation and I'm sure you all can imagine the turn that convo was taking. I jumped in and said that both her parents are Black, fair skinned Black but she is not biracial. The fact that she has blue/grey eyes, long blondish hair, and caucasionesque features bothered them to know that 2 Black parents contributed to the creation of that. Yeah, there are most likely White genes thrown in there, but her parents are both Black. Usually they will change topics when they realize that they are being ignorant or insulting.

the thing is, i don't think they know they are. i think they think we are the ones being ignorant cause of course you can't be beautiful and be all black.

 

[CurleeDST]

I must be the exception b/c I have more than plenty of black friends who are BSL or longer. I came to this board b/c it came highly suggested and while I know what my friends do to obtain long hair - they mostly attend salons and I just can't be up in a salon day in and day out week after week so this place was perfect with coming up with additional techniques to grow out natural hair beyond my standard lengths.

I have always seen black women with long hair so it is no big deal to me and I didn't need this forum to realize that. It is just a no brainer in my opinion.

And I could give 2 figs what white people or white women think in general so I don't recall comparing myself with someone white unless I was competing with them on something like a race, promotion or contract. Then all's fair in love and competition and I will take anyone down white, black or brown.

I do not believe we should continue to obsess over what white people think of us or our hair. It is a waste and not a good use of time.

The hair on this board does break the popular opinion that "we" can't grow hair. All the weave checking, and traffic stopping stories makes that obvious.
I just don't think that most people here are constantly thinking about breaking the myth, and I don't think that's anyone's singular reason for wanting and growing longer hair.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

Well, I remember this one time it was in reference to Aaliyah, after her death a few coworkers of mine were talking and one girl said that she was beautiful and had really pretty hair for a Black girl (she didn't think that statement was insulting although it was) and then another girl said, well it was more than likely a weave, but it suited her very well. Well I jumped in and said that it was all her hair, and then one of the girls began to imply that she may be mixed then and I said no, both of her parents are Black, and one girl looked at me like I was starting something and shut up and the other one said well Black American's all usually claim to have White or Native ancestry, so that's probably what it is. She just didn't realize how ignorant she sounded and I didn't want to get into an argument with her, so I left it alone.

Another was Vanessa Williams situation and I'm sure you all can imagine the turn that convo was taking. I jumped in and said that both her parents are Black, fair skinned Black but she is not biracial. The fact that she has blue/grey eyes, long blondish hair, and caucasionesque features bothered them to know that 2 Black parents contributed to the creation of that. Yeah, there are most likely White genes thrown in there, but her parents are both Black. Usually they will change topics when they realize that they are being ignorant or insulting.

I can understand where they were coming from; Black people probably have told them that aaaallll the time. I crack a joke in reference to my own hair, " yea, how did i become a "mutt" but inherited 'nappy' hair?" Its my own little inside joke, but honestly, i grew up thinking that people who were natural were all bi-racial! Magazines never show you any different and they don't tell you about the wigs, straw sets, curling irons that go into making the curly 'fro or "gud hair" look. I cannot lie, with all the plastic surgery and the pressures to be "mixed", i have often assumed someone was when they weren't, and that someone isn't when they are. I honestly thought that Beyonce's mom is an avid plastic surgery fanatic! I am still in shock that she was born looking like that and thats why her grandbaby is her "other half". So, forgive them. Also, we are not the only ones who get caught up in the "bi-racial" trap. I was at "The Daily Model" and all the comments under Michael Copon (guy in siggy) are questioning how Pinoy is he. So... yea. Black folks are not the only one who are caught up in it and i think the people in your case probably don't mean to be offensive. I'm more offended when black people don't know any better and when you tell them they still won't believe.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I have always seen black women with long hair so it is no big deal to me and I didn't need this forum to realize that. It is just a no brainer in my opinion.

Yea, i grew up with dark women who had long hair. My best friend had long hair that was natural but pressed. Most of my friends have always been relaxed, though. Thats actually part of the reason why i always maintained short hair... i love the androgny of my look. I like the boyish, spiky, "emo" or "british mod" shapping of my hair (gonna miss it). My hair has always been the stand-out factor between me and all of my friends... they were loooong and i ways short or braided.