You can't love God and sex, can you?

[Belle Du Jour]

I'm always shocked by people who claim to be living for Jesus and on fiyah for Him (who are "saved") who also have active sexual lives. Isn't this a conflict of interest?

I was raised to believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong. I've read many books, and listened to many tapes on why a woman's sexuality is her strength, and her "bargaining chip" so to speak where men are concerned (i.e. in exchange for my body, you give me a contract/pledge of marriage).

(I try not to judge, because although this isn't an area that I struggle with, I do have my own issues.) We know what the Word says, but what is your opinion? Are the old laws outdated? Should Christians adapt or "keep up with the times" as some ppl say? Or are people just fooling themselves when they rationalize that it's okay for them to engage in sex outside of marriage?

 

[cece22]

You can actually love God and sex if you are married sex is natural and very normal. But sex outside marriage is displeasing to God I am no judge I just go by what he says in his word the Bible. Some may say that this info is outdated but it can never be. Look at how many cases of aids, STD's, and abortion not to mention unwanted pregnacy not to say that this doesn't happen to married people. But it is on the rise amongst the unmarried more so. And the Bible even states not to be sucked into thinking that God accepts this behavior it states that this is what people were then the were washed with the blood of the lamb.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 ***
9 What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10 nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom. 11 And yet that is what some of YOU were. But YOU have been washed clean, but YOU have been sanctified, but YOU have been declared righteous in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and with the spirit of our God.​

 

[naughteegirl]

I read your post and note that you are referring to unmarried people. Honestly it also confuses me. I personally do believe that sex should be saved till you are married and enjoyed within that union. I also know from my sister who is married that you can love sex and still withstand the urge to give into the temptation prior to your marriage.
I think some issues are that some couples feel that they are already as good as married to their mate, and in my culture its also a bit more confusing because we have traditional marriages which to my knowledge do not involve any signing of documents etc. so its basically a tradtional ceremony and afterwards you are considered married. Another issue is where to draw the line ie. is making out ok, is it undue temptation etc.
Its a tough issue. I try not to judge but I must admit that I do really wonder if a person is being honest with themselves if they are consistently (meaning they get their freak on regularly) sexually active and unmarried. However, it is also non of my business and as long as they dont put it out there in everyones face its between them and God. In the same way, if you're a christian and known to gossip, lie, steal, cheat I will also question your sincerety and honesty but like I said I dont feel its my place to judge and I do belive that all sins are equal. Although I think sex also has a lot of consequences that may be avoided by waiting to get married first. jmho
If there is a place in the bible where is says premartial sex is okay within a monogamous relationship, someone pls let me know though.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

It is not a personal belief to me that sex is for marriage-it's in the Bible. The Bible mentions that premarital sex is the only sin where you sin against yourself. So many folks have conformed to the way the world thinks about premarital sex it is ridiculous. They have actually convinced themselves that they don't need a certificate to be married, as long as they have a 'spiritual union.' Whatever- do it right and stop compromising.

Sorry, I went off tangent a wee bit- I just get tired of people using this biblical issue to fit their wrong doings.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I have never had sex but believe me I would love to
and that time will come for me. But we ALL know the bible and Jesus is against it. We KNOW what's right and wrong. As for the bible being outdated and our Christian ways not adapting to the times. Don't fall for that girl. God is never changing and if you've noticed this world is anyway the wind blows. They make up their own truth and if you fall for that you will be blowing in the wind just like them. Truth is truth and truth don't change.

Look at the world and what premarital and adulteress sex has gotten us into we are quite literallly sexing ourselves to death. We have disastrous consequences and we still want to try and make it okay. We have 12 year olds getting pregnant but then we insist that throwing condoms at the problem will make it go away. And the experts are even truthful about condoms. They are not safe. Safer than unprotected sex but not safe.
Then we see that condoms don't cover and prevent the heavy and deep attachments that come from sex. Yeah we may try and act like we can live a sex in the city life and just have all kinds of sex with no attachment but then look what it's turning us into. We have more and more dating services for older women who can't find men because the men are just getting all the sex they want and women aren't requiring anything in return until they themselves get older and realize what they have been throwing away, God’s precious gift for marriage. And pretty soon they are the older women and when they are ready to settle down it’s hard to find a suitable man because they are all busy throwing away themselves with any woman who will let them.


I also think that we “train” ourselves before marriage. And if we use sex as simply a way to “get off” and have good time we are continuously devaluing sexual intimacy so that by the time we do get married it is not as special as it should be for us. A pastor once gave an excellent example. He had a Styrofoam cup he was drinking out of and he said he sat that Styrofoam cup down many places and didn’t think much of it because he could always get another one. It wasn’t a big deal. But imagine if it was a gold goblets with precious stones in it. Do you think he would just leave it anywhere the same way he did with that Styrofoam cup. No. Only someone who didn’t think much of precious things would leave one laying around.



How much do we think of the precious thing God has given us? How often is it just laid down and left for whomever to take? And when we get married what’s going to make it so much more precious? Because we are having it with our spouse? I think a lot of us would love to think that but something that we have been partying and throwing away doesn’t gain value because we are so romantic or so righteous that we automatically see it differently. Sex will regain it’s value because when we see it through the eyes of God and when we see it for how special it is and if we see it that way in the first place then why would we be having it with someone whom we have not joined ourselves with in the presence of the Lord?

 

[options]

I'm always shocked by people who claim to be living for Jesus and on fiyah for Him (who are "saved") who also have active sexual lives. Isn't this a conflict of interest?

Yes, it is.

 

[Sweet C]

Yes, you can absolutely love God and sex, but which do you love more and if you say God, do love sex in the proper context in which he designed it? We all know what the bible says about premarital sex, so its a NO NO. We see the consequences of sex outside of God's covenant (STDs, unwanted pregnancies, stress, heartbreak, etc.). This is what wordly books won't tell you. They see sex as a bargaining chip and means to open a rlp, but they don't say that it is a mean to blind you to the truth of the person you are seeing. We also know what the bible says about marital sex, which is YES YES, and you are not to deny your spouse of it (1 Cor 7:3-7:4).

The thing about it is that we all sin, and have fallen short of his glory. The problem becomes when we are not trying to get delivered from this sin. You are always going to have some people that are always going to try and justify their actions with all sorts of excuses, but the truth is God's Word still stands.(i.e. there is a reason why the Word says to FLEE sexual immorality [1 Cor 6:18]) You can't let these people deter you from being who God is calling you to be.

Also, we are to under NO circumstances to adapt with the times of the world. We need to be able to communicate to people in their situation and be able to relate in order to minister, but not adapt. Romans 12:2 says And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Great replies ladies

FYI, I was referring to sex outside of marriage. Believe me, there's nothing wrong with sex in and of itself, and I look forward to that day. . .Sex is good. God could have come up with a less pleasurable way for men and women to procreate and express their love, but He didn't. So I just meant sex outside of the union of marriage. Personally, I believe it's wrong, but I really wanted to see what other people think about those who justify their actions.

Carry on

 

[AnnDriena_]

Yes the responses are on point. I'm glad there is still some sense left in this world. But I must point out that there are supposedly Christian members here who are on another haircare board telling other members that are feeling guilty about pre marital sex that they honestly don’t think God minds if they have sex sometimes before they are married. SOMETIMES? First of all that’s dangerous because if you have a bible and are in your right mind and you are telling people this that is dangerous and GOD warns against those who lead his flock astray.

Second of all it reminds me of the guy who wrote that letter someone posted here that they’d seen a couple of other places, he was talking about how he had AIDS and how he got it from cheating on his girlfriend whom he had had sex with sometimes even though they weren’t married and were both Christian. I think it’s wrong to sometimes have sex with someone and then deny them for long periods of time. You are wetting their appetite and then starving them and that’s not right and it’s bound to create resentment and even more yearning for sex than if you were both abstinent. When you do that you are not quenching the fire you are throwing gasoline on it and people don’t realize that so they continue to call themselves abstinent when they are playing a very dangerous game and just fooling themselves.

 

[options]

I must point out that there are supposedly Christian members here who are on another haircare board telling other members that are feeling guilty about pre marital sex that they honestly don’t think God minds if they have sex sometimes before they are married. SOMETIMES? .

Wow. That's incredible. Then again, it is not. The Bible is probably the most widely used tool used to manipulate, water down and justify behaviors and points of view, particularly those that run counter to the Word.

 

[zora]

True, but keep is mind we are all sinners and whether we lie, steal, covet, etc. or have pre-martial sex, we can still love GOD.

Having said that, we should abstain until marriage, but don't question someone's love for God based on their sexual history.

 

[Poohbear]

There's no opinion about it. God states that sex outside of marriage is wrong. It's a fact. It may seem right to the world "everyone's doing it" "it feels good" "he/she loves me so its okay" "we're not doing it a whole lot of times" or whatever reasons... God forbids it because when you do that, you're not using your temple (your body) for God. And participating in sexual immorality is sinning against one's own body.
But once you have had premartial sex, God still forgives you IF you confess your sins and REPENT. God remembers sins no more!

 

[Poohbear]

True, but keep is mind we are all sinners and whether we lie, steal, covet, etc. or have pre-martial sex, we can still love GOD.

Having said that, we should abstain until marriage, but don't question someone's love for God based on their sexual history.

I agree... but also keep in mind not to take advantage of God's mercy/grace/forgiveness by sinning just because you know God will forgive you.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I agree... but also keep in mind not to take advantage of God's mercy/grace/forgiveness by sinning just because you know God will forgive you.

Great point.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

But I must point out that there are supposedly Christian members here who are on another haircare board telling other members that are feeling guilty about pre marital sex that they honestly don’t think God minds if they have sex sometimes before they are married. SOMETIMES?

Oops! Is this subject on the Off Topic board already? If so, sorry for the double topic post.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I must disagree with questioning someone love for God. I do and did. I was talking to this GORGEOUS hapa (half asian/half other) and he's trying to tell me he loves GOD but he doesn't go to church because he knows he does wrong stuff and he doesn't want to hear having pre marital sex is wrong because he doesn't want to stop. I had to question his love for GOD. You are doing something that is wrong you know it's wrong and you continue to do so.
People can say whatever they want and being adults we know not to believe everything someone says (at least I hope we do) we HAVE to go by their actions because that is the true barometer of what’s in their heart. And if someone can say how much they love GOD but their actions show otherwise something is wrong. I believe people when they show me who they are because talk is cheap and actions are priceless.



I also question what they hold dear and important if they claim to love the son of God, a man who was tortured and died for our sins and then try and justify their sin. We all sin but don’t try and justify it. That’s just like a slap in the face of a man who is already dying on a cross.

 

[onepraying]

Oops! Is this subject on the Off Topic board already? If so, sorry for the double topic post.

She is speaking of a whole new haircare forum/board created by a member of LHCF.

I think we should leave what happens over there, over there....whether we agree with them or not. The mission over there states a "keeping it real" kind of mentality. Basically, anything goes. Which is fine by me. I just can't be a part of anything such as that. Just make your choice of whether to hangout there or not. However, just leave them to their own opinions and beliefs they are entitled to that, hence the creation of that board.

The lamb and sheep will be seperated...


John 14:15
If ye love me, keep my commandments. <----- This speaks for itself whether someone loves him or not.

Hebrews 10:26
For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins.


carry on...

~op~

 

[AnnDriena_]

John 14:15
If ye love me, keep my commandments. <----- This speaks for itself whether someone loves him or not.

I like that and I wanted to say that but I don't want someone to think that I think if someone makes a mistake they don't love GOD. I think if someone lives in their mistakes, they don't truly love GOD.

That is a judement call but I have found that we have to make judgments. Just as long as we use his ruler we can make them wisely.

 

[crml_buttafly]

what is supposedly christian??

i'm christian, i love the lord with all my heart and soul, he has peformed many amiracle in my life showing his love for me. i make mistakes against his commandments, i repent and move on.

 

[ms_kenesha]

You are REALLY the reason why some people cannot come closer to Christ. Who are you to judge who is a Christian and who is not?

Psalm 15:2-3
2 He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue, who does his neighbor no wrong and casts no slur on his fellowman

Yes the responses are on point. I'm glad there is still some sense left in this world. But I must point out that there are supposedly Christian members here who are on another haircare board telling other members that are feeling guilty about pre marital sex that they honestly don’t think God minds if they have sex sometimes before they are married. SOMETIMES? First of all that’s dangerous because if you have a bible and are in your right mind and you are telling people this that is dangerous and GOD warns against those who lead his flock astray.

 

[pebbles]

I think we should leave what happens over there, over there....whether we agree with them or not.

I agree 100%.

It is difficult to walk the walk of a Christian. Sexual sin happens to most of us. I was lost in it for years, so I understand the struggle. I wasn't right with God. It was difficult to go to church, I couldn't praise God, I didn't want to be around the saints, and finally I stopped going all together. But one day, God convicted me, and I haven't been the same since.

The best thing to do for our sisters having a difficult time in this area is to pray for them. Pray that the Holy Spirit will convict them that God has a better plan for their lives.

 

[AnnDriena_]

I'm very sorry to hear I'm the reason people cannot come closer to Christ. I will try to work harder so they can come closer to Christ.

And supposedly Christian is a confessing Christian but telling others wrong things. That's what I meant. I think it's wrong to tell people things about God that are contrary to His teachings.

And your verses are right on, mskenesha. Slander and telling lies about someone is very wrong. You shouldn't say people said things that they never said.

For myself I have to judge every person as they come if they say they are a Christian and then don't live in His word I don't consider that person a Christian. As for who I am to judge. I'm a born again Christian who has a bible and uses that to decide if people who come to me claiming to be of Christ are true. That's all we can use.

 

[Poohbear]

what is supposedly christian??

i'm christian, i love the lord with all my heart and soul, he has peformed many amiracle in my life showing his love for me. i make mistakes against his commandments, i repent and move on.

I agree. Being a Christian does not mean Being a Perfect Person. A Christian is someone who believes in their heart that Jesus is Lord and Savior and that He's the Son of God who died for our sins on the Cross to take the punishment for our sins. All have fallen short of God's glory (all have sin). We are all made in God's image and once we are in Christ, we are seen as "perfect" in his eyes. When we ask for forgiveness and repent, He washes away our sins and remembers those sins no more! And that's a blessing!

 

[onepraying]

I like that and I wanted to say that but I don't want someone to think that I think if someone makes a mistake they don't love GOD. I think if someone lives in their mistakes, they don't truly love GOD.

That is a judgment call but I have found that we have to make judgments. Just as long as we use his ruler we can make them wisely.

We don't have to speak those judgements against folks. We aren't to landblast people and stick our fingers in their faces.

The bible says we judge them by their FRUIT. Also, bitter and sweet water can't come from the same fountain and so on..... Our judgment shouldn't be a judgment of condemnation, but one of finality of decision. Bascially an asessement of them and how we are to interact with them or how we are to associate ourselves in regards to them and their behavior....the Bible still says, "evil communication corrupt good manners" (paraphrasing..again )

Someone can tell me they love God, live for God, etc. .....all day long, but I don't have to argue with them about it. They simply live the life which is in their heart. I, in turn, SEE that life. Does that life line up to or is it going toward a life of Christ, like it is laid out in the Word of God?

Jesus said(paraphrasing), that which goes in doesn't defile the man, but that which comes out defiles the man.

 

[pebbles]

Let me remind everyone that this is the Christianity forum, and I will not allow the nasty behavior of the general forum to come in here. I'm just going to edit and/or delete posts. If there is a personal dispute between members, take it to pm, but keep this conversation neutral! You have been advised!

 

[pebbles]

We don't have to speak those judgements against folks. We aren't to landblast people and stick our fingers in their faces.

The bible says we judge them by their FRUIT. Also, bitter and sweet water can't come from the same fountain and so on..... Our judgment shouldn't be a judgment of condemnation, but one of finality of decision. Bascially an asessement of them and how we are to interact with them or how we are to associate ourselves in regards to them and their behavior....the Bible still says, "evil communication corrupt good manners" (paraphrasing..again )

Someone can tell me they love God, live for God, etc. .....all day long, but I don't have to argue with them about it. They simply live the life which is in their heart. I, in turn, SEE that life. Does that life line up to or is it going toward a life of Christ, like it is laid out in the Word of God?

Jesus said(paraphrasing), that which goes in doesn't defile the man, but that which comes out defiles the man.

Very well said!

 

[ms_kenesha]

NO ONE comes 100% to living a "Christian" life style. So in your book no one would be able to be a true Christian in your judgement. And God doesn't grade our sins on the curve, so just because you are not having sex now, doesn't mean you aren't doing a lot of other things that are displeasing to God.

* I hope that this is okay.

For myself I have to judge every person as they come if they say they are a Christian and then don't live in His word I don't consider that person a Christian. As for who I am to judge. I'm a born again Christian who has a bible and uses that to decide if people who come to me claiming to be of Christ are true. That's all we can use.

 

[Poohbear]

And supposedly Christian is a confessing Christian but telling others wrong things. That's what I meant. I think it's wrong to tell people things about God that are contrary to His teachings.

I agree...

For myself I have to judge every person as they come if they say they are a Christian and then don't live in His word I don't consider that person a Christian. As for who I am to judge. I'm a born again Christian who has a bible and uses that to decide if people who come to me claiming to be of Christ are true. That's all we can use.

...but you should be careful when you say this... just because you are a virgin doesn't mean you're any better or any more righteous than any other Christian (just to let you know, I'm a virgin myself!)

And like one_praying said, you do not have to openly speak against someone when you judge if it's going to cause confusion or discord. You should go to that person privately and tell what you think they said or did was wrong. Telling members over here in this forum isn't going to help the situation get better.

 

[AnnDriena_]

We don't have to speak those judgements against folks. I was just making my point clear about why I feel a certain way because I was asked. That may be speaking judgment agains someone but (and I'm not trying to be funny) this is the internet and speaking is the only way I could partake in the discussion when someone asked me what supposedly Christian is.
We aren't to landblast people and stick our fingers in their faces.

The bible says we judge them by their FRUIT. Also, bitter and sweet water can't come from the same fountain and so on..... Our judgment shouldn't be a judgment of condemnation, I can't condemn anyone I'm not GOD and don't wish to be I hope my explaination of why I consider someone to be Christian or not wasn't seen as condemnation but that is how I protect myself and keep people from putting one over on me. but one of finality of decision. Bascially an asessement of them and how we are to interact with them or how we are to associate ourselves in regards to them and their behavior....the Bible still says, "evil communication corrupt good manners" (paraphrasing..again )

Someone can tell me they love God, live for God, etc. .....all day long, but I don't have to argue with them about it. They simply live the life which is in their heart. I, in turn, SEE that life. Does that life line up to or is it going toward a life of Christ, like it is laid out in the Word of God?

Jesus said(paraphrasing), that which goes in doesn't defile the man, but that which comes out defiles the man.

 

[AnnDriena_]

Oh no, I don't think I'm anymore righteous than anyone else because I'm a virgin, so don't take it that way. We were discussing sexual sin so that's what I was talking about.


As for no one living a %100 Christian lifestyle, that's what I thought I made clear in the post that I didn't want to make it seem like making a mistake makes you not Christian. I thought I said that in the previous post but If I didn’t I want to make that clear now. I don’t think making mistakes, sin (which we all do) makes you not a Christian. I myself have to use the bible and compare it to people who say they are Christian to judge for myself whether to take them as a Christian.
And with my Christian friends I give them greater access into my life and put more weight in their opinions and things like that. Not that I haven’t got good advice from non-Christians but I basically raised myself and have had to be very careful of the people I let speak into my life. That’s why and how I judge for myself whether someone is Christian or not. Just taking them at their word is fine if you want and at first, hey, let's face it, that's all we have.