Courting before Marriage: Premarital Sex isn't the only Sin

[Poohbear]

Premarital Sex isn't the only Sin - Courting before Marriage

We all know as Christians that we are to abstain from sex before marriage. (However, we also must keep in mind that God is a forgiving God, and if we feel remorse for having sex outside of marriage, we must confess our sin and repent).

After reading all the posts in the locked Sex and the Christian Single thread, I would like to take the topic a step further and ask about preparation for marriage. Premarital sex isn't the only sin in the Bible that single men and women can commit. If we really want to get technical with the "Shoulds" and "Should nots", should we refrain from other activities as well that take our attention away from God (watching movies, going places, shopping, playing games, talking on the phone instead of praying to God, etc.)? All these dating activities that don't involve sex can also be considered lust of the eye or lust of the world which are sins against God and do not give God glory.

There were a couple of posts in that thread that I agreed with that made me want to start this thread. Here they are:

I started thinking...

All of the choices listed in the poll are in reference to dating or trying someone out. Dating, although I have done it, DOESN'T exist as it relates to the bible. There's no such!! Dating, aka, testing out the possibility of a future mate, gives place to many of the choices listed in the poll. This leads to sin and stepping out of God's will for marriage/sex. Dating also teaches us that "try 'em and leave 'em" mentality. I know it's part of our culture, but that's definitely not the way God designed it, which is why people were married (in God's eyes) when they became physical with one another.

Excellent post Yodie! I agree with everything that you stated. Dating is not of God, but rather of this world. In addition to the “try ‘em and leave ‘em” mentality that you mentioned, dating also teaches people to practice marriage and divorce. The same emotions that a married couple experience during a divorce, are the very same emotions that people who date experience when a relationship ends. God hates divorce, and it is not His will for us to experience the heartache and damaged emotions that are associated with relationships and break ups. Plus nowhere in the Bible do we read about people dating or even see the terms 'boyfriend/girlfriend' which are also of this world. We only see courtship and the titles of husband and wife. IMO, Christians who understand God's purpose and plan for marriage will not date, they will court. And there is a huge difference in the two…

So how are we to court instead of dating? Are we to just let our parents arrange marriages for us? Are we to stay completely away from the man we want to marry to avoid any sexual thoughts/advances/etc. until the time comes to get married?

Instead of going out on dates with our significant other/boyfriend, should we spend time praying together, reading the Bible together, fellowshiping with other Christians, and participating in church activities?

I know I asked a load of questions here...I just would like to hear your thoughts on this; but better yet, Biblical references and scriptures for the answers of these questions.

Thanks in advance!

 

[misstobz]

Interesting thread. I too would like to pose the same question. What is the difference between dating and courting? (excuse my ignorance)

 

[Avyn]

no thoughts on this???

my college pastor said that dating was practicing divorce.

what is the difference between dating and courting?

whatever its called i think the getting to know you process is important because i know that if i married some of the people who said i was their wife, i would be in a world of hurt. i think it is extremely important to get to know the nature and disposition of people before saying, "i do."

 

[comike]

IMO dating is simply spending time with a person to get to know them. It can lead to a relationship but not necessarily. I think it is a part of courting. At some point while dating or maybe without really dating a woman, maybe just observing a woman from afar for awhile a man makes the decision that this is the woman he wants to be with exclusively (maybe even marry) and that's when the pursuit begins. In this day and time, I think courting has been tossed out the window along with marriage because some men have taken the back seat to the pursuit of a woman and instead are being chased down by women.

 

[comike]

Re: Premarital Sex isn't the only Sin - Courting before Marriage

We all know as Christians that we are to abstain from sex before marriage. (However, we also must keep in mind that God is a forgiving God, and if we feel remorse for having sex outside of marriage, we must confess our sin and repent).

After reading all the posts in the locked Sex and the Christian Single thread, I would like to take the topic a step further and ask about preparation for marriage. Premarital sex isn't the only sin in the Bible that single men and women can commit. If we really want to get technical with the "Shoulds" and "Should nots", should we refrain from other activities as well that take our attention away from God (watching movies, going places, shopping, playing games, talking on the phone instead of praying to God, etc.)? All these dating activities that don't involve sex can also be considered lust of the eye or lust of the world which are sins against God and do not give God glory.

There were a couple of posts in that thread that I agreed with that made me want to start this thread. Here they are:




So how are we to court instead of dating? Are we to just let our parents arrange marriages for us? Are we to stay completely away from the man we want to marry to avoid any sexual thoughts/advances/etc. until the time comes to get married?

Instead of going out on dates with our significant other/boyfriend, should we spend time praying together, reading the Bible together, fellowshiping with other Christians, and participating in church activities?

I know I asked a load of questions here...I just would like to hear your thoughts on this; but better yet, Biblical references and scriptures for the answers of these questions.

Thanks in advance!

Life is all about balance. I think you can enjoy activities, have fun, have hobbies without turning your back on the Lord. Think of your relationship with God as your relationship with your loved ones. You can't neglect to spend time with them and still maintain a relationship. The same can be said about your relationship with the Lord.

While dating, if you're trying to remain celebate and if you have a problem with being tempted to be sexually involved with the person you are with, you should avoid activities that put you in a compromising situation--for example overnight stays or late nights alone. And you most definitely have to have a companion that has the same convictions.

 

[HWAY]

Courtship is when 2 people spend time together for the purpose of getting married. Neither one of them is supposed to date or court someone else.

Here are links to 2 interesting articles :
http://www.unlessthelordmagazine.co...ples. http://www.cfalive.org/ccourtship3.htm

 

[aribell]

As far as the Bible's silence on the topic of dating is concerned, I think that has more to do with the customs of the time and less to do with any scriptural disapproval of the practice of "dating."

The problem that I see with the typical way that bf/gf relationships are carried out today is that they 1) often fail to fulfill the commandment to love thy neighbor, and 2) suck up time and energy that would otherwise be put into kingdom-building activities. To explain further:

1) Love thy neighbor as thyself, and act with agape love according to 1 Cor. 13. What often happens is that people go into relationships with the best of intentions, saying "I won't hurt you," and encourage the other person to share of themselves, become vulnerable, get attached, have hopes for the future. And all that is great, except that in the context of dating no one has really made a committment to honor all of those feelings that have been elicited. Even if I really like someone, it would be unfair of me to encourage him to make me the center of his world, his confidante, to dream about a future unless I actually have plans to follow through with all of that, i.e. unless I have plans to become his wife.

What I like about courting is that it encourages emotional discipline. If you read authors like Joshua Harris, a main principle that sticks out is guarding your heart in relationships until it becomes clear that the person you are seeing is going to be your spouse. When Harris proposed to his wife, he said something like "You know how you have been guarding your heart? Well, I'd like you to stop guarding it now and give it to me." He didn't presume to ask for her heart, i.e. to be emotionally intimate with her until he was prepared to ask her to be his wife.

IMO, that's how things should be. There's too much presumption in dating relationships that says "You owe me intimacy just because we're bf and gf." Courting says intimacy (both physical and emotional should come after committment (a permanent one).

2) Dating and wasted time and energy. The way I see it, I will have to give an account to the Lord at the end of the day about how I used my time and energy. I don't want to say to Him that I spent x number of years flitting in and out of relationships that ultimately served no purpose. That doesn't mean that any relationship that doesn't end in marriage is a waste of time, just that I should make sure to form relationships with a clear purpose in mind so that I don't end up investing time and energy in relationships that I could have seen from the start were going nowhere. Or, relationships that themselves led me away from the Lord rather than closer to him.

Courting places an emphasis on ensuring that the relationship is a godly one and being intentional about the direction of the relationship so that there isn't wasted time.

I'm not against dating, since these principles can be incorporated into any relationship. I think people just need to be emotionally mature and self-aware about things.

 

[ladykaya]

I am definitely not one to know the answer to this question. But when I was growing up I did date, but I always said I was waiting until marriage. It did weed out the guys who couldn't deal with "that" kind of gf. I did fall short when it came to my husband of pre-marital sex, but I asked God for forgiveness and thanked Him for letting my one and only be my husband. IMO I feel it helps when you let people know your intentions up front. It lets people decide weather they are willing to court or date you in a fashion that is pleasing to the eyes of God and comfortable with you.

 

[kayte]

Dating also teaches us that "try 'em and leave 'em" mentality. I know it's part of our culture, but that's definitely not the way God designed it, which is why people were married (in God's eyes) when they became physical with one another.

try em ....is how you get to know someone...
leave em is if/ when you gather information that informs you this would not make a healthy marriage or long term relationship
cleave to em..lol..is when you do find someone that is compatible in the deepest sense

what's wrong with that?

dating also teaches people to practice marriage and divorce. The same emotions that a married couple experience during a divorce, are the very same emotions that people who date experience when a relationship ends.

How does dating does teach practice of marriage to divocre? Are you saying
that dating is responsible for divorce because the same emotions triggered in a marriage ending ...are the same when a dating romance ends?
For who? for everyone? for you? and how do you know?

because it's not dating..it's LIFE....learned as Christians that teaches us that relationships like anything else of the world... are temporal..which means with eternity in view....ALL...is fleeting....

this is NOT restricted to romance..but includes all relationships familial ..work...peer...dating....courting....professional.. etc are subject to ending

and human beings being human beings experience the full spectrum of emotion in any of those categories...from indifference to anguish ..read some of the threads ...hurt or betrayal is not exclusively romance driven......

divorce happens from marrying too young
divorce happens from prior abuse in the home
and not healing
divorce happens from marrying an alcoholic
and thinking one can change
myriad of reasons!

to isolate dating as the culprit of divorce is misplaced
imho

I date..
purely social right now...
no sexual relations
God is first

and if out of THAT t..though I'm not loooking for it
a man/relationship emerges that we mutually want to go to the next
level where there is commitment....exclusivity ..deeper communicating
personal ..not sexual..intimacy
THAT is courting....

where's the sin in that.....
but only blessings..as far I see
no..it's true girlfriends or boyfriends are not mentioned in the bible
nor are computers..televisions airplanes or water skiing

but biblical principles are universal and ageless and same
and that is the focus

do not covet your friend's Ipod
do not steal a Sprint notebook ..just cas you can get away with it
do not buy a "hot " flatscreen


love covers a mutitude of sins
perfect love rules out fear

God gave us common sense..we can use it
Power, love, and a sound mind

 

[Shimmie]

Excellent Discussion

I realized something... my annointing does not 'flow' with singles. It's too complicated for my spirit. However in reading this thread, it just dawned on me the reason why. God wants his 'daughters' 'Married'.

This is not a joke. Everytime these 'single' subjects arise, I'm drawn into the annointing for Marriage. Instead of being 'single minded' and trying to cope as singles, God wants you to think 'Marriage Minded' and prepare for marriage.

In looking through the Bible, the Father always 'betrothed' his daughters. God is your Father and betrothed you shall be.

Marriage Blessings :Rose:

 

[varaneka]

Subscribing

 

[yodie]

try em ....is how you get to know someone...
leave em is if/ when you gather information that informs you this would not make a healthy marriage or long term relationship
cleave to em..lol..is when you do find someone that is compatible in the deepest sense

what's wrong with that?



Speaking for myself, what's wrong with that is that most women will continue to stay in the relationship, for whatever reason, knowing that this person isn't their spouse.

Another reason is you have high school kids and even young adults, dating for the sake of dating. They aren't ready or interested in being married. By the time they are ready for marriage, they have all kinds of good and bad experiences/comparisons to bring to the table.

I'm to the point (and age) now where I don't date. Doesn't work for me. I'm ready to be married. So, when I meet someone, we talk. I kind of call it the interview stage. I know or God lets me know if he's right for me. Back in the day, I'd still continue on in a "relationship" like this, for the sake of dating, if you want to call it that. Now, I shut it down. I'm too old, too ready and too focused to keep a Not-the-One in my life for the sake of going out and chatting on the phone.

Of course this is just my take on it.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

I seriously dont think going to the cinema or for a meal or for bowling a bad decision, I dont know maybe im a bit simple minded over this but I consider the relationship with a significant other to be just like a relationship with my siblings, parents, close friends. I go to the cinema with all these pple why not a significan other? If your main focus is marriage again i dont see how this is wrong pple relax when they are in a nice relaxing place you are likely to see him for who he is when he has his guard down. Before you go for each meet up just pray on it ask God to reveal to you iwith each meeting f this is the right man for you.

 

[aribell]

There's a difference between casual "dating" and a committed dating relationship. I don't think the criticisms of "dating" are aimed toward socializing one-on-one with people of the opposite sex. They're mainly aimed at the long, drawn out relationships that don't involve discussions or serious intentions of marriage.

 

[nissi]

The church I go to (and even the one before that) definitely supports courting as opposed to dating. Dating is collecting "data"; it's about romantic, emotional interactions of people of the opposite sex on specific calendar appointments, but with no intention for long-term commitment.

To me, it's about gratifying the flesh, the emotions and the mind, but with no real solid long-term partnering of purpose (not passion!). It's just so someone can say they have someone, but without real commitment (and maturity IMHO). Also, usually no one shows their true self/face when they are dating, just their best side.

Courting in its purest form would be to have been properly acquainted with the person platonically, so that one can make a proper judgment to hear from God about the person, and then inquire properly with the church leadership/parents and significant others about the person. It is making a formal statement about the person to church leaders, family and others, but it precedes engagement. It's about establishing a connection with your future marital partner under the covering of counseling, study of the Word, prayer and accountability. BTW, the man is the initiator in a godly relationship, not the other way around! (See Pr. 18:22; Gen. 2:22-24; Mt. 19:5.)

Too many times singles hook up dating, kissing, squeezing and whatever else their conscience will allow, and then they separate for whatever reason (usually because one or the other was looking for someone cuter/better/etc.). But one side has made a significant soul tie and almost needs deliverance, while the other has moved on, because it never meant that much to them anyway.

The courting method protects people and keeps them honest IMHO.

 

[Raspberry]

As far as the Bible's silence on the topic of dating is concerned, I think that has more to do with the customs of the time and less to do with any scriptural disapproval of the practice of "dating."

The problem that I see with the typical way that bf/gf relationships are carried out today is that they 1) often fail to fulfill the commandment to love thy neighbor, and 2) suck up time and energy that would otherwise be put into kingdom-building activities. To explain further:

1) Love thy neighbor as thyself, and act with agape love according to 1 Cor. 13. What often happens is that people go into relationships with the best of intentions, saying "I won't hurt you," and encourage the other person to share of themselves, become vulnerable, get attached, have hopes for the future. And all that is great, except that in the context of dating no one has really made a committment to honor all of those feelings that have been elicited. Even if I really like someone, it would be unfair of me to encourage him to make me the center of his world, his confidante, to dream about a future unless I actually have plans to follow through with all of that, i.e. unless I have plans to become his wife.

What I like about courting is that it encourages emotional discipline. If you read authors like Joshua Harris, a main principle that sticks out is guarding your heart in relationships until it becomes clear that the person you are seeing is going to be your spouse. When Harris proposed to his wife, he said something like "You know how you have been guarding your heart? Well, I'd like you to stop guarding it now and give it to me." He didn't presume to ask for her heart, i.e. to be emotionally intimate with her until he was prepared to ask her to be his wife.

IMO, that's how things should be. There's too much presumption in dating relationships that says "You owe me intimacy just because we're bf and gf." Courting says intimacy (both physical and emotional should come after committment (a permanent one).

2) Dating and wasted time and energy. The way I see it, I will have to give an account to the Lord at the end of the day about how I used my time and energy. I don't want to say to Him that I spent x number of years flitting in and out of relationships that ultimately served no purpose. That doesn't mean that any relationship that doesn't end in marriage is a waste of time, just that I should make sure to form relationships with a clear purpose in mind so that I don't end up investing time and energy in relationships that I could have seen from the start were going nowhere. Or, relationships that themselves led me away from the Lord rather than closer to him.

Courting places an emphasis on ensuring that the relationship is a godly one and being intentional about the direction of the relationship so that there isn't wasted time.

I'm not against dating, since these principles can be incorporated into any relationship. I think people just need to be emotionally mature and self-aware about things.

This is an excellent post.

I've been pondering the idea of courting and emotional discipline. I know that aligning my mindset to God's in the areas of marriage preparation has been challenging and even painful for me at times. It's crazy how much damage looking for emotional and sexual validation in a non-marital context can do to a woman - and that damage is often unaccounted for until we are willing to submit to God's will and healing process. But in the big picture the emotional and physical discipline is very beneficial for marriage and in other personal relationships as well.

Your post reminds me that what I may experience has emotional and sexual deprivation right now is seen much differently by God and will bear much fruit if I stay open and don't lose heart.

 

[Renewed1]

In looking through the Bible, the Father always 'betrothed' his daughters. God is your Father and betrothed you shall be.

Shimmie, girl, if you can some of us a timeframe on when that will happen. It will be greatly appreciated.

Just Kidding!

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie, girl, if you can some of us a timeframe on when that will happen. It will be greatly appreciated.

Just Kidding!

Angel, just be 'ready'. Prepare yourself as Esther did. She prepared herself for more than 'One Night with the King..."


And He offered her whatever she wanted, even up to half of his Kingdom.

Just be ready...

 

[aribell]

I've been pondering the idea of courting and emotional discipline. I know that aligning my mindset to God's in the areas of marriage preparation has been challenging and even painful for me at times. It's crazy how much damage looking for emotional and sexual validation in a non-marital context can do to a woman - and that damage is often unaccounted for until we are willing to submit to God's will and healing process. But in the big picture the emotional and physical discipline is very beneficial for marriage and in other personal relationships as well.

Your post reminds me that what I may experience has emotional and sexual deprivation right now is seen much differently by God and will bear much fruit if I stay open and don't lose heart.

This is the truth. Don't lose heart! It may appear that we are missing out on something by holding out for God's best, but it only takes one little detour off of God's path to see the harsh reality of sin and broken relationships so prevalent in the world's way of doing things. Concrete experiences have taught me that just like the word says, the devil is a liar, and wisdom is justified by her children.

 

[momi]

The church I go to (and even the one before that) definitely supports courting as opposed to dating. Dating is collecting "data"; it's about romantic, emotional interactions of people of the opposite sex on specific calendar appointments, but with no intention for long-term commitment.

To me, it's about gratifying the flesh, the emotions and the mind, but with no real solid long-term partnering of purpose (not passion!). It's just so someone can say they have someone, but without real commitment (and maturity IMHO). Also, usually no one shows their true self/face when they are dating, just their best side.

Courting in its purest form would be to have been properly acquainted with the person platonically, so that one can make a proper judgment to hear from God about the person, and then inquire properly with the church leadership/parents and significant others about the person. It is making a formal statement about the person to church leaders, family and others, but it precedes engagement. It's about establishing a connection with your future marital partner under the covering of counseling, study of the Word, prayer and accountability. BTW, the man is the initiator in a godly relationship, not the other way around! (See Pr. 18:22; Gen. 2:22-24; Mt. 19:5.)

Too many times singles hook up dating, kissing, squeezing and whatever else their conscience will allow, and then they separate for whatever reason (usually because one or the other was looking for someone cuter/better/etc.). But one side has made a significant soul tie and almost needs deliverance, while the other has moved on, because it never meant that much to them anyway.

The courting method protects people and keeps them honest IMHO.

Wow - I am surprised to hear that your church supports and encourages "courting". Would you mind sharing what type of church you attend? Is it a black church? Denomination?

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

why call it anything...
why not just find someone you love and cherish that shares the same belief values that you do...
thats a lot easier to understand than any "rules" we could set for ourselves...

 

[jwhitley6]

A close friend of mine attended a church that promoted "courting". She and her SO/fiance met at the church and didn't have sex, make out, etc. They attended pre-marital counseling through the church and did things "God's way"....they married and then separated 4 months later. They are now divorced (with a child conceived during their 4 month marriage). I think sometimes we are so heavenly minded that we are no earthly good! We are humans and need to be able to relate to each other as such. My friend and her husband were unprepared for a real life together. I believe that if they had taken the time to get to know each other for who they were (not just who they hoped to be with God's help) things would have been different. Just because a man is in church and loves the Lord, it does not mean he's the man for you.

 

[CurlyGirl1996]

try em ....is how you get to know someone...
leave em is if/ when you gather information that informs you this would not make a healthy marriage or long term relationship
cleave to em..lol..is when you do find someone that is compatible in the deepest sense

what's wrong with that?



Speaking for myself, what's wrong with that is that most women will continue to stay in the relationship, for whatever reason, knowing that this person isn't their spouse.

Another reason is you have high school kids and even young adults, dating for the sake of dating. They aren't ready or interested in being married. By the time they are ready for marriage, they have all kinds of good and bad experiences/comparisons to bring to the table.

I'm to the point (and age) now where I don't date. Doesn't work for me. I'm ready to be married. So, when I meet someone, we talk. I kind of call it the interview stage. I know or God lets me know if he's right for me. Back in the day, I'd still continue on in a "relationship" like this, for the sake of dating, if you want to call it that. Now, I shut it down. I'm too old, too ready and too focused to keep a Not-the-One in my life for the sake of going out and chatting on the phone.

Of course this is just my take on it.

Amen Sister Amen!

 

[nissi]

Wow - I am surprised to hear that your church supports and encourages "courting". Would you mind sharing what type of church you attend? Is it a black church? Denomination?

Yes, it's a black church, Pentecostal/charismatic, even though we do have other races attend. Our church does support courting because healthy human relationships and marriage is of God. Remember, we don't support "dating," but definitely courting when mature individuals make the right decision at the right time and right place toward marriage under counseling and a course of accountability...

...and even though they are supposed to be mature, because they are two imperfect individuals, they very well may need counseling to stay together. i can think of at least four couples in our church who were on the verge of divorce that are together today (that had been married 14 years, 20 years...the others i don't remember), because they still needed to walk in God's counsel and accountability. marriage ain't easy, chile!

 

[momi]

Yes, it's a black church, Pentecostal/charismatic, even though we do have other races attend. Our church does support courting because healthy human relationships and marriage is of God. Remember, we don't support "dating," but definitely courting when mature individuals make the right decision at the right time and right place toward marriage under counseling and a course of accountability...

...and even though they are supposed to be mature, because they are two imperfect individuals, they very well may need counseling to stay together. i can think of at least four couples in our church who were on the verge of divorce that are together today (that had been married 14 years, 20 years...the others i don't remember), because they still needed to walk in God's counsel and accountability. marriage ain't easy, chile!

I fully support the courting process in conjunction with mentoring from other couples as well. Many times, others are able to point out areas that need to be improved or considered prior to continuing through the process.

Thanks for the info - I cannot think of one church in my area where "courting" is fully supported...

Yes, you are right - marriage is not a relationship to be entered into lightly. IMHO this is partly because we have an inappropriate view of "love and relationships" that is not biblical... but that is another thread.

 

[Poohbear]

Excellent Discussion

I realized something... my annointing does not 'flow' with singles. It's too complicated for my spirit. However in reading this thread, it just dawned on me the reason why. God wants his 'daughters' 'Married'.

This is not a joke. Everytime these 'single' subjects arise, I'm drawn into the annointing for Marriage. Instead of being 'single minded' and trying to cope as singles, God wants you to think 'Marriage Minded' and prepare for marriage.

In looking through the Bible, the Father always 'betrothed' his daughters. God is your Father and betrothed you shall be.

Marriage Blessings :Rose:

Well, I wouldn't consider this just a 'single' subject. I'm currently in a relationship right now and my boyfriend and I have discussed wanting to get married to each other. I posted this thread to see what should we actually be doing before getting married to prepare for marriage. Unlike other relationships I've been in, I feel like this guy I'm with now is a potential husband. We've had our share of ups and downs, but have been able to work through the downs successfully. At the same time, I don't want to waste time and energy if this relationship is not glorifying God.

 

[Poohbear]

I've been liking the responses to this thread. It's making me feel more comfortable about this. I do pray to God about this, but sometimes I just would like to see the thoughts of other women about this too.

 

[nissi]

I've been liking the responses to this thread. It's making me feel more comfortable about this. I do pray to God about this, but sometimes I just would like to see the thoughts of other women about this too.

best wishes poohbear!

 

[Shimmie]

Well, I wouldn't consider this just a 'single' subject.

I'm currently in a relationship right now and my boyfriend and I have discussed wanting to get married to each other. I posted this thread to see what should we actually be doing before getting married to prepare for marriage. Unlike other relationships I've been in, I feel like this guy I'm with now is a potential husband. We've had our share of ups and downs, but have been able to work through the downs successfully. At the same time, I don't want to waste time and energy if this relationship is not glorifying God.

I was 'wondering' where you 'was'..... Welcome back to your thread.

I'm with you because we do 'tend' to get quite 'comfortable' in these types of relationships. We tend to 'close' ourselves off from anyone else 'potential, especially for 'fear' of hurting the 'other' or from the fear of losing what we have and have made a 'home' in our hearts with, by allowing another potential to be explored. Hence 'we' close the door.

In prayer, my answer has always been, "It's your choice".

Now, that really helps alot...

Pooh, I'll be honest.

There has to be a healthy 'male balance' in my life. It can't be non-inclusive of male interaction. And I'm not talking serxual interaction, but normal male friends in my life.

Being around women all the time would drive me completlely nuts. I serious! We talk too much ... Fuss too much Cry too much On the train, I keep my headphones in play. Too much jabber jabber jabber.

And I'm one of them. I get on my own nerves sometimes.

I just can't handle life without men to balance me out. I can't.

It's just not normal neither is it healthy to not have male friendships; I'm speaking of Godly platonic ones.

I know that I am not the only Christian woman who feels this way and still has a Godly heart.

I pray that this is not a stumbling block or misleading to anyone. I truly pray this! But there has to be a healthy balance in our lives with men to balance us as women. But we can't throw caution to the wind and not guard ourselves or them.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad you have a 'male friend' in your life and that he wants to marry you. I wish you all the best. I truly do. :Rose:

Disclaimer: .......... I don't have one.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I was 'wondering' where you 'was'..... Welcome back to your thread.

I'm with you because we do 'tend' to get quite 'comfortable' in these types of relationships. We tend to 'close' ourselves off from anyone else 'potential, especially for 'fear' of hurting the 'other' or from the fear of losing what we have and have made a 'home' in our hearts with, by allowing another potential to be explored. Hence 'we' close the door.

In prayer, my answer has always been, "It's your choice".

Now, that really helps alot...

Pooh, I'll be honest.

There has to be a healthy 'male balance' in my life. It can't be non-inclusive of male interaction. And I'm not talking serxual interaction, but normal male friends in my life.

Being around women all the time would drive me completlely nuts. I serious! We talk too much ... Fuss too much Cry too much On the train, I keep my headphones in play. Too much jabber jabber jabber.

And I'm one of them.

I get on my own nerves sometimes

.

I just can't handle life without men to balance me out. I can't.

It's just not normal neither is it healthy to not have male friendships; I'm speaking of Godly platonic ones.

I know that I am not the only Christian woman who feels this way and still has a Godly heart.

I pray that this is not a stumbling block or misleading to anyone. I truly pray this! But there has to be a healthy balance in our lives with men to balance us as women. But we can't throw caution to the wind and not guard ourselves or them.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm glad you have a 'male friend' in your life and that he wants to marry you. I wish you all the best. I truly do. :Rose:

Disclaimer: .......... I don't have one.

I thought I was the only one who felt this way.... Glad to know I'm not alone