long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

NYAmicas · Oct 7, 2008

lisana said:
I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone were they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled... if I mistook it for real but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z

Shoot, even with the swag? lol @ JayZ :lachen:

jeanne516 · Oct 7, 2008

I get ALOT of stares on a daily basis, but i dont know if its because of my hair (even though im just about BSL)...i usually think its because of the fact that i'm just about 6ft tall... :grin:

ETA: I do like the stares though...

Lavendar · Oct 7, 2008

I wore my hair out this past weekend for the first time in a longgggg time. It's now almost a few inches longer than my siggy pic. I couldn't escape the stares....everywhere I went. It doesn't make me angry at all, it's just I'm a little self conscious and it makes me kind of nervous. DH and I dropped in at his relative's house and of course I got the hand all up the back of my head. Now I do think that is disrespectful; most of his relatives just yank on it.

erplexed But since she just finished hair school and is working on getting her license, I figured curiosity got the best of her. So I asked her when she was getting her license and could trim my hair for me. She said oh no I like to cut and I will cut all that stuff off. I told her well thank GOD you are at least honest. It just made me wonder how people are thinking the same thing when they look at my hair, especially stylists. But, I'm not about to get psycho about it. It's just hair, right?

erplexed

CocoBunny · Oct 7, 2008

My daughter has hair that always gets attention, usually ooohs and ahhhhhs. Usually comments about the color and the spring curls. She takes it as a compliment.

CocoBunny · Oct 7, 2008

sandyrabbit said:
I don't think its about length though. I think its about thickness, health, and style. I'm not going to lie. When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.

Short or long if the hair looks healthy I tend to admire/stare.

I wish someone would think my hair was stare worthy...

winnettag · Oct 7, 2008

luckiestdestiny said:
I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself. Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well. There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair. The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. She looked me up and down and then left. My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!

OMG! That was just a crazy woman! :nono:

I am looking forward to the day I get stared at for having long hair.
As it is, no one ever sees how long it is because it's in braids, under a wig or shrunken.....I don't even want to see it until I reach my hair goal. :ohwell:

lavenderchic · Oct 11, 2008

Hi Hater!, lol just kidding. I don't let it bother me, usually they are in disbelief that a woman of color could actually achieve this. If they ask question I willingly answer. Other are dying to see a track some even go as far as to "accidentally" touch it. That just tic's me off, disrespectful so and so's.

Filmatic · Oct 11, 2008

lisana said:
I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone where they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled for.. if I mistook it for fake but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z

On the other hand, asking someone where they got their hair from is also rude. To me it's like asking if those are my real breasts. It's none of their dang business. Now I have learned that most people are honest when I say I like their hair and they usually tell me if it's a weave. I don't have to ask, but that's just my experience. And if someone is really nice and ask me about my hair color and it's a weave or wig I'll tell them the number.

To the original question I usually wear my hair up or hidden but when it is down I try to be careful. I'd had angry stares from people when I wore a short blondish bob, so there's not telling with my real hair.

sweetcashew · Oct 11, 2008

People stare at me all the time but I never assume that it's because of my hair. I've gotten the same stares when my hair was short so I don't jump to any conclusions. I guess it's because I wear my hair out every day I'm not conscious of it so I don't feel special just because it's long.

But whenever I catch someone staring really hard at my hair in particular, I usually just smile at them. It encourages them to give compliments and ask me what I do it blah blah.

caribeandiva · Oct 11, 2008

jeanne516 said:
I get ALOT of stares on a daily basis, but i dont know if its because of my hair (even though im just about BSL)...i usually think its because of the fact that i'm just about 6ft tall...

ETA: I do like the stares though...

I also get stared at because I'm 6ft tall not cause of my hair (yet!). I'm usually oblivious to stares and my friends usually tell me when it happens. I love it cause it means i'm doing something right.

Evazhair · Oct 11, 2008

poochie167 said:
...SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol

I hate the stares.If some people knew how wierd they can really come off. I wish people would open their mouth and say something good or bad or get some slickness about themselves. The positive comments are cool as long as done with tact, but I can do without them.

The stares in a negative way.... I may have done a subtle flip but I have just clipped it up before. If it is down I have found myself smoothing it over my shoulder if they are standing in a position to reach out. That usually makes them go on about their business. Honestly I am the polar opposite of an attention seeker. I would prefer that nobody outside of my SO, parents and stylist said anything about my hair. I can't identify with the people who like being sweated.

tada1 said:
i HATE it when people stare at my hair! I hate it hate it hate it I'll rather get a negative comment, or a positive comment than the weird deer in the headlight stare.
The other day i wore my hair down, I was not impressed by how many people thought it was okay to run their fingers through it without permission!

venting complete

ITA except I rather they would say nothing. I prefer the +/- comment over the deer in the headlight thing. If they only knew how it comes off. I have always been able to admire people's hair without being caught in that stare. Usually for me those who stare like that will change into a look like I just slapped their mama if we make eye contact.
Other times there will be a compliment, I say thanks and KIM

Digital Tempest said:
I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like erplexed and kept it moving.

She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad."

I like that. Yeah, her bad.

T_shea said:
I am around BSL, but this is the longest it's ever been since I was a child. I'm completely natural since 2003. I get the most weird looks in the salon while getting my hair washed. All the other stylists look at me like DAMN, I am so glad I don't have to wrestle all that hair. quote]

I experienced this all my life, regardless of length. Made me very uncomfortable as a child. I have changed hairdressers or avoided certain appointment times because I hate the "all eyez on me" when getting my hair done. "Move along people..nothing to see here!"

*Muffin* said:

I can understand why a person would be annoyed if someone was staring them down and looking hateful. Sometimes people's bad energy rubs others the wrong way and they react angrily. On the other hand if a person is staring and has a pleasant look, like they truly admire your hair, it makes you feel good. Overall, I don't think anyone likes to be looked at like they are a circus freak. And no one wants to receive negative feedback on something they've worked so hard to accomplish.

Click to expand...

AND THERE IT IS! ITA!!!!!! That's why I would rather nobody ever said anything. I can perceive peoples' negative energy and I prefer positive.

truequeen06 said:

I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair" or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long." At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave. The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.

Click to expand...

This reminds me of jealous chicks on HU campus who would approach someone with say MBL or longer hair trying to play them in front of a crowd of people by asking "who does your weave?" When they learn it's real they end up looking real stupid and get all of the embarassment they were hoping to cause her. PRICELESS!!!!!!

luckiestdestiny said:

I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself. Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well. There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair. The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. She looked me up and down and then left. My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!

Click to expand...

ITA. People don't realize how crazy that kind of behavior can make them look.

luckiestdestiny said:

Um yeah. I get that to, until I give the look of death. Maybe they think its okay but it's just not. I don't know where your hands have been, and I don't want everyone's hands in my hair anyways. I avoid manipulation, so why would I want someone else doing it. That is crazy that someone would do that. Maybe it's also a weave check. I never thought of that before.

Click to expand...

Yeah I'm known for the the back the up off me look. It works well when needed especially in the DMV where too many people lack tact.

Lavendar said:

She said oh no I like to cut and I will cut all that stuff off. I told her well thank GOD you are at least honest. It just made me wonder how people are thinking the same thing when they look at my hair, especially stylists. But, I'm not about to get psycho about it. It's just hair, right?erplexed

Click to expand...

I can understand the stares. Why can't they all be this honest?

glamazon386 · Oct 11, 2008

poochie167 said:
...a friend of mine..who is black..has waist length relaxed hair. We were in this store looking around..and i happened to notice this black girl staring my friend doooown. Im used to her hair so its nothig...but i do notice when others stop in amazement. HOWEVER this chick was serious with her staring. She didnt even look away when my friend caught her staring. Needless to say...my friend got really mad. She usually doesnt...but after seeing her react this way it made me think about what its like to be the one being stared at. sometimes staring in admiration can be confused with staring in hate or jealousy....SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol

She was probably trying to figure out if it was a weave or not. I wouldn't worry about it. I'd take it as a compliment.

sylver2 · Oct 11, 2008

i always get the stares..but it doesn't bother me so much anymore. i barely pay them any mind.

Tee · Oct 11, 2008

It doesn't bother me at all. I just hate the stupid comments.

I got my first real "Hi Hater" comment. A co-worker told someone else I can admit I have weave. She said, "There is no way anyone can grow hair that long and that fast." I wanted to email her the link to this forum! BUT I was like, whatever. (And my hair didn't grow fast. Just comedy I tell you!)

tenjoy · Oct 11, 2008

I don't get stares or comments from women. Its usually the men who do the scalp check and complimenting.

DanaDane · Oct 11, 2008

tenjoy said:
I don't get stares or comments from women. Its usually the men who do the scalp check and complimenting.

OT--

gorgeous progress, ten!

lisana · Oct 11, 2008

Filmatic said:
On the other hand, asking someone where they got their hair from is also rude. To me it's like asking if those are my real breasts. It's none of their dang business. Now I have learned that most people are honest when I say I like their hair and they usually tell me if it's a weave. I don't have to ask, but that's just my experience. And if someone is really nice and ask me about my hair color and it's a weave or wig I'll tell them the number.

To the original question I usually wear my hair up or hidden but when it is down I try to be careful. I'd had angry stares from people when I wore a short blondish bob, so there's not telling with my real hair.

and two wrongs don't make a right, that's why if you are the one blessed with hair long enough to look fake then YOU should be the one to show a little graciousness...because 1. it shows you can be the better person and 2. it prevents you from being humiliated by that one person who is so hateful and jealous and is hoping for a reason to punch you out. Also, I don't think the question deserves a response that is so rude as to humiliate someone in public, simply say "it is my real hair" and keep it moving.

A_Christian · Oct 11, 2008

I'm very flattered. Like a few weeks ago someone gave me a very nice compliment on the thickness of my hair and was staring hard lol, but it made me feel great to know thay I'm making progress toward my goal of hair that's not only long but also thick. The only time I feel uneasy about hair stares is if the person has a look on their face or body language that suggests they want to cut it off; Those type of looks bring out the :whip:

in me

.

babydollhair · Oct 11, 2008

my hair is at brastrap length and if pp ask about it always try to tell ppl to take there vitamins and not overprocess, but i dont mind talking to ppl about it. I notice stares sometimes, but i think it the overall health of the hair too, ppl say that alot

caribeandiva · Oct 13, 2008

We need more stories!!

Aura · Oct 14, 2008

I get more stares and compliments from men. They will usually ask me if it's all mine. Most women assume it isn't mine, and don't even bother to ask. :look:

I really don't care and don't pay it any attention anyways.

srs · Oct 14, 2008

I don't really get mad or upset. Sometimes you don't know if a person is staring or hating.It doesn't really matter. 90 % of the time people say they like my hair,or how did you grow it so long.

jerjer29 · Oct 14, 2008

i couldn't imagine asking someone 'is that all yours' lol i'd just try to decide for myself..because i think asking that is just so rude.

Pryncez524 · Oct 14, 2008

Wow where you're from must really make a difference. I know that no women or men from where I'm from would ever put their hands in my hair. You just dont see it. But I hardly ever get asked if I have a weave. People usually ask me what I'm mixed with or say: You're mixed right?

SherryLove · Oct 14, 2008

I usually get a combination of compliments, "Girl, is that your hair?," or stares. However, I just perceive the stares as indirect compliments. smile...

MD_Lady · Oct 14, 2008

All I can say is :nono:

to the jealousy some of you ladies have experienced. My hair hovers around bob length and I absolutely LOVE seeing black women with a full head of healthy hair! As for the long haired sistas (with healthy hair of course

) keep knocking 'em dead and disproving those stereotypes about black hair! :grin:

MD_Lady · Oct 14, 2008

And let me also say... what the :censored:

is up with people asking "is that all your hair" or "is that a weave"? What DIFFERENCE does it make? If you like a person's hair, compliment it. If not, keep your looks and comments to yourself. I guess I'm one of the few who thinks that's a VERY rude question! :mad:

Rapunzel* · Oct 14, 2008

i get stares even with my twa

erplexed how does it get so curly? is that a jerry curl :ohwell:

i didnt know black people could have hair like that. when its straight i get oh its so thick is it all urs

it wasn't even sl yet

i cant wait till im apl in may or sooner

TexturedTresses · Oct 15, 2008

I feel like when people ask you, "is all that yours?", especially around people, they are trying to embarrass you. If your answer is no... then you feel embarrassed. That person is not usually expecting the answer to be yes.

longhairlover · Oct 15, 2008

were you and your friend in harlem??? that is the capital for hate lol!!! i'm originally from there and every time i go up there some chick is staring with hate.

my hair is nowhere near my waist but yeah the hating looks are amazing, people don't think black hair can grow to amazing lengths, even other black folks.

long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

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