This article was in today's Detroit News (Jan. 18, 2007)
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070118/LIFESTYLE/701180400/1005
The unkindest cut
How to part with hair stylist when it just isn't working out
Christy L. Breithaupt / Special to The Detroit News
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Talking tips
Be clear when describing the look you're after. Tell your stylist length restrictions, ease of style and color ideas. You should have this talk at each appointment, even if you want the same thing you had done previously.
If you're unhappy, then tell them; but try to do it in a way that is constructive, not critical.
Take a photograph or two of the style you'd like. This immediately puts you and your stylist on the same page.
Your stylist is the professional. If they tell you a certain color or cut won't be flattering with your coloring or face shape, they are doing it in your best interest.
Ask about the products used to get the desired style. Otherwise you may wake up to find you don't know how to do your hair and hate the cut you loved the day before.
Sources: Derrick Gills, manager of Premier Salons at Macy's in Fairlane Town Center; David Arena, a stylist at Tricho Spa and Salon in Twelve Oaks Mall
Christy L. Breithaupt function NewWindow(height,width,url) {window.open(url,"ShowProdWindow","menubars=0,scrollbars=1,resizable=1,height="+height+",width="+width); }
W hen it's over, it's just over. You know it, but you're not sure how to end it. You might try dropping hints or maybe even just stop calling. You think you're doing the right thing, but have you stopped to think about what's right for your hair stylist?
It sounds overdramatic (and it probably is a bit), but for many people, their relationship with their hair stylist is a big one in their lives. And ending it can be an awful, guilt-ridden process.
"People are embarrassed or afraid to hurt feelings, so they shy away. I think that these folks often would prefer a simple, clear direct indication from the client of what their concerns are," says Warren Levin, therapist and program manager at St. John Eastwood clinic in Royal Oak.
Let's face it -- your hair stylist is often your friend, your therapist, your ego-boost and your advisor. You've probably told them dirt on your best friends or complained about your spouse in a way you never could around those who know him. But this relationship is complicated by the fact that your stylist is being paid to provide a service. Once you're not happy with that service, it's time to evaluate which is more important: staying in a comfortable relationship or beginning a new one.
"Even though this starts off as a customer and a service provider, it becomes a friendship. They will share much of their personal lives. Often they provide more than they would in a traditional friendship," Levin says.
Much like any important relationship, you should consider what you're doing first. In many cases, your connection with your stylist might be saved by simple, old-fashioned communication.
"We don't take it personally," says Derrick Gills, manager of Premier Salons at Macy's Fairlane in Dearborn. "We want to know what's going on. It's very important to us to keep the lines of communication open. They should say something. Our main objective is to keep them coming back."
Gwendolyn Watson of Southfield doesn't worry too much about hurt feelings. What she worries about is her hair falling out or being seriously damaged. It's always been her rule of thumb that stylists get one major mishap -- then she finds someone new.
"I think I've had between 10 to 15 hairstylists in my lifetime. I'm very serious about my hair," Watson says. "My attitude about that is that I like to discuss it if I have an issue. If the problem can't be corrected, I will move on."
When women decide to find a new stylist, Levin says they often just cut off contact with their old stylist and find someone quickly. He says it's easier for women to just leave their stylist behind rather than risk hurting the stylist's feelings.
But, says David Arena, a stylist at Tricho Spa and Salon at Twelve Oaks Mall in Novi, the stylist would really rather know what's going on.
"I would much rather have them tell me. Ninety percent of the time I've just met them and just didn't hit it off at all. I would like them to tell me," says Arena, who's been doing hair for more than 25 years. "I'm not saying that I can keep everyone."
Stylists understand there are many reasons clients leave. Maybe they didn't like the setting. Or the cost was too high. Or they moved. Or they just didn't like what they were doing anymore. Telling stylists helps them fix the problem so they'll have less of a chance of repeating it in the future.
And, you might be surprised, but by telling your stylist what your issues are, they may recommend another stylist that is more suited to your style. Even if they don't, Watson says, that shouldn't stop you from seeing other people.
"I will go to other hairstylists in the same shop if the first one didn't please me," she says. "You feel a little awkward at first, but you get used to it."
Of course, sometimes it's not too difficult to express what you feel.
"I thought I'd really arrived when I got a male hairdresser. He was doing my hair, and I was going to meet my in-laws out of state," says Nonie Peterson of Southfield. "I was going for a trim. I wanted to go and get it just right, and he cut 3 inches off. I looked like Joan of Arc. I didn't go back to him."
Eventually, through much trial and error (and hats and scarves), many women eventually find someone they'll let touch their manes without cringing. Watson has found someone she connects with on a personal level.
"The one I have now I'm pretty satisfied with. He's open to the things that I have to tell him about how I want my hair done," she says.
Peterson has found the key to making the client-stylist relationship work is trust.
"I think it's almost necessary because your hair is so personal. You have to have someone you can trust," she says. "I finally found someone. She tries to give me what I'm used to, as well as encouraging some change from time to time."
And isn't that what we're all after?
Christy L. Breithaupt is a Metro Detroit freelance writer.
http://www.detnews.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070118/LIFESTYLE/701180400/1005
The unkindest cut
How to part with hair stylist when it just isn't working out
Christy L. Breithaupt / Special to The Detroit News
Advertisement
Illustration by Ray Stanczak and Wayne E. Smith /
Talking tips
Be clear when describing the look you're after. Tell your stylist length restrictions, ease of style and color ideas. You should have this talk at each appointment, even if you want the same thing you had done previously.
If you're unhappy, then tell them; but try to do it in a way that is constructive, not critical.
Take a photograph or two of the style you'd like. This immediately puts you and your stylist on the same page.
Your stylist is the professional. If they tell you a certain color or cut won't be flattering with your coloring or face shape, they are doing it in your best interest.
Ask about the products used to get the desired style. Otherwise you may wake up to find you don't know how to do your hair and hate the cut you loved the day before.
Sources: Derrick Gills, manager of Premier Salons at Macy's in Fairlane Town Center; David Arena, a stylist at Tricho Spa and Salon in Twelve Oaks Mall
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W hen it's over, it's just over. You know it, but you're not sure how to end it. You might try dropping hints or maybe even just stop calling. You think you're doing the right thing, but have you stopped to think about what's right for your hair stylist?
It sounds overdramatic (and it probably is a bit), but for many people, their relationship with their hair stylist is a big one in their lives. And ending it can be an awful, guilt-ridden process.
"People are embarrassed or afraid to hurt feelings, so they shy away. I think that these folks often would prefer a simple, clear direct indication from the client of what their concerns are," says Warren Levin, therapist and program manager at St. John Eastwood clinic in Royal Oak.
Let's face it -- your hair stylist is often your friend, your therapist, your ego-boost and your advisor. You've probably told them dirt on your best friends or complained about your spouse in a way you never could around those who know him. But this relationship is complicated by the fact that your stylist is being paid to provide a service. Once you're not happy with that service, it's time to evaluate which is more important: staying in a comfortable relationship or beginning a new one.
"Even though this starts off as a customer and a service provider, it becomes a friendship. They will share much of their personal lives. Often they provide more than they would in a traditional friendship," Levin says.
Much like any important relationship, you should consider what you're doing first. In many cases, your connection with your stylist might be saved by simple, old-fashioned communication.
"We don't take it personally," says Derrick Gills, manager of Premier Salons at Macy's Fairlane in Dearborn. "We want to know what's going on. It's very important to us to keep the lines of communication open. They should say something. Our main objective is to keep them coming back."
Gwendolyn Watson of Southfield doesn't worry too much about hurt feelings. What she worries about is her hair falling out or being seriously damaged. It's always been her rule of thumb that stylists get one major mishap -- then she finds someone new.
"I think I've had between 10 to 15 hairstylists in my lifetime. I'm very serious about my hair," Watson says. "My attitude about that is that I like to discuss it if I have an issue. If the problem can't be corrected, I will move on."
When women decide to find a new stylist, Levin says they often just cut off contact with their old stylist and find someone quickly. He says it's easier for women to just leave their stylist behind rather than risk hurting the stylist's feelings.
But, says David Arena, a stylist at Tricho Spa and Salon at Twelve Oaks Mall in Novi, the stylist would really rather know what's going on.
"I would much rather have them tell me. Ninety percent of the time I've just met them and just didn't hit it off at all. I would like them to tell me," says Arena, who's been doing hair for more than 25 years. "I'm not saying that I can keep everyone."
Stylists understand there are many reasons clients leave. Maybe they didn't like the setting. Or the cost was too high. Or they moved. Or they just didn't like what they were doing anymore. Telling stylists helps them fix the problem so they'll have less of a chance of repeating it in the future.
And, you might be surprised, but by telling your stylist what your issues are, they may recommend another stylist that is more suited to your style. Even if they don't, Watson says, that shouldn't stop you from seeing other people.
"I will go to other hairstylists in the same shop if the first one didn't please me," she says. "You feel a little awkward at first, but you get used to it."
Of course, sometimes it's not too difficult to express what you feel.
"I thought I'd really arrived when I got a male hairdresser. He was doing my hair, and I was going to meet my in-laws out of state," says Nonie Peterson of Southfield. "I was going for a trim. I wanted to go and get it just right, and he cut 3 inches off. I looked like Joan of Arc. I didn't go back to him."
Eventually, through much trial and error (and hats and scarves), many women eventually find someone they'll let touch their manes without cringing. Watson has found someone she connects with on a personal level.
"The one I have now I'm pretty satisfied with. He's open to the things that I have to tell him about how I want my hair done," she says.
Peterson has found the key to making the client-stylist relationship work is trust.
"I think it's almost necessary because your hair is so personal. You have to have someone you can trust," she says. "I finally found someone. She tries to give me what I'm used to, as well as encouraging some change from time to time."
And isn't that what we're all after?
Christy L. Breithaupt is a Metro Detroit freelance writer.
