Christian Guys Not Stepping Up?

[Ms.Honey]

lol. Thats what I'm saying, if a Christian man isn't pressed to get married until he's 40 I'm assuming he's sexually active. I've almost never come across a man who was abstaining for real who was willing to keep that up more than a year or two into the future - and that's usually because something like his finances or grad school is holding him back.

I think that's part of the reason my dh was ready at 23.

Oh, don't get me wrong now. I do believe that a faithful man of God can abstain for decades once he has determined in his heart to follow Jesus.

BUT a woman is more apt to cross her legs and sit on that honey pot if she believes she still has a decade or more of baby producing time left but once that clock starts ticking........... we're cooking dinner, taking their cars to be detailed, buying expensive gifts, etc. A brother who can maintain his flesh? He knows he has ALL the time in the world. Wasn't Larry King like 60 something when he married and started his family?

Brothers (probably like southernbella's DH ) will usually get married earlier to a sister if she lets it be known from the beginning, "You will not see, touch or even SMELL it unless we are legally married and if someone else steps up before you do..............

They can't think straight then. They think someone else may get THEIR stuff if they don't move quickly "Man, she hasn't had sex in 50-11 years, oh and she's pretty and holy too but man, 50-11 years, oh and she doesn't fall for my play either but wow, 50-11 years oh and she won't act like I'm her last resort BUT DANG!!!!!AIN'T NOBODY HAD THAT IN 50-11 YEARS!!!!!That's when the, "You know, I've been talking with the Lord about you and HE said....." discussion

Men are predators by nature. They can calculate how long it will take and how much pressure to apply, to get what they want by what we allow in our lives. They know by our activities (the narrowness of the path we walk our Christian walk on) what they can and can't eventually do regardless of what we say out of our mouths and believe in our hearts. They're patient. They can hunt the same sister for years if they think they can get what they want from her in the end whether that means they have to wait til marriage or whether they can get it before then. It really doesn't take long for them to figure it out. They're born that way, to size up prey.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

If you ladies are feeling discouraged...I found this prayer that if you are a Lady of Faith (believing in God for what you can not see and trusting that he desires to give you His very best).

[pray]"Lord God, your Word declares that if I delight myself in you—if I enjoy and seek your pleasure above mine—you'll give me the desires of my heart (Psalm 37:4). Desiring a husband is neither evil nor selfish because marriage is honorable (Hebrews 13:4). At the beginning of creation, you proclaimed, "It is not good that man should be alone" and then you created Eve to be a suitable partner for Adam (Genesis 2:18). In the name of Jesus, I ask that you would protect the husband—a suitable partner—you have chosen for me. Because the covenant of marriage is sacred (Mark 10:9), I ask for a man of God. Please give me a husband whose love for me is only outmatched by his love for you; a man who will cherish me and build me up (Proverbs 31:28); a man who will honor me (I Peter 3:7) and our marriage vows; a man who will be a good father and provider; a man whom I will be attracted to physically, emotionally, and spiritually; a man who will love me as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Keep me from attaching myself to another man out of desperation. I will not settle for a relationship that's second best, convenient, or one that feeds my insecurities. Guard my purity and give me the patience to wait. And when I meet him, confirm to me that he is the one. Release from me the baggage of past relationships, and prepare me for the man You have chosen to be my husband. Free me from any hindrances to a healthy and godly marriage: insecurities, habitual sins, selfishness, and emotional hurts. Dispel my unrealistic expectations that set me up for disappointment. I place my trust in you rather than my partner. In this period of waiting, I will look to you alone to be my companion and best friend. You are the one who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with love and compassion, who satisfies my desires with good things (Psalm 103:4-5). I will not be anxious, but as I present my requests to you, flood me with the peace that surpasses all understanding so my heart and my mind are guarded in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6,7). In this request, I commit myself to trust you and do good, to dwell in the land and feed on your faithfulness. I commit my way to you and trust that you will bring it to pass (Psalm 37:35). Amen" [pray]​

(author unknown)

 

[discobiscuits]

Remember this thread? A Man's Persistence is Stronger than a Woman's Resistance

I think that is true to a point as well. Men will persist until women relent whether it be sex or marriage. They only give up if they see that they really and truly are getting no where then they move on. Next!

 

[momi]

This is a really good thread...

 

[momi]

Oh, don't get me wrong now. I do believe that a faithful man of God can abstain for decades once he has determined in his heart to follow Jesus.

BUT a woman is more apt to cross her legs and sit on that honey pot if she believes she still has a decade or more of baby producing time left but once that clock starts ticking........... we're cooking dinner, taking their cars to be detailed, buying expensive gifts, etc. A brother who can maintain his flesh? He knows he has ALL the time in the world. Wasn't Larry King like 60 something when he married and started his family?

Brothers (probably like southernbella's DH ) will usually get married earlier to a sister if she lets it be known from the beginning, "You will not see, touch or even SMELL it unless we are legally married and if someone else steps up before you do..............

They can't think straight then. They think someone else may get THEIR stuff if they don't move quickly "Man, she hasn't had sex in 50-11 years, oh and she's pretty and holy too but man, 50-11 years, oh and she doesn't fall for my play either but wow, 50-11 years oh and she won't act like I'm her last resort BUT DANG!!!!!AIN'T NOBODY HAD THAT IN 50-11 YEARS!!!!!That's when the, "You know, I've been talking with the Lord about you and HE said....." discussion

Men are predators by nature. They can calculate how long it will take and how much pressure to apply, to get what they want by what we allow in our lives. They know by our activities (the narrowness of the path we walk our Christian walk on) what they can and can't eventually do regardless of what we say out of our mouths and believe in our hearts. They're patient. They can hunt the same sister for years if they think they can get what they want from her in the end whether that means they have to wait til marriage or whether they can get it before then. It really doesn't take long for them to figure it out. They're born that way, to size up prey.

This is a mouthfull... growing up my dad always told us that men were "hunters" by nature and they will not stop until they catch their prey.


50-11 years!

 

[LovelyNaps26]

Once they get tired of being celibate they do go on the "hunt" The horny, holy ones are PRESSED to get married They're to scared of Jesus to sin so they know they have no other option or stay celibate. That's when the sisters are like,"Ummm, you need to stop breathing down my neck, pressing ME!!!" We have a lot of those at my church. Fine, holy and horny.

@ the bolded: Girl, uh, what church you go to?



But seriously, I've been really thinking this thing through and you are correct. I can understand delaying marriage b/c they love being single and free. I don't like it, but I get it. HOWEVER, how can you stay celibate if you don't have the gift to do so? I was speaking to a brother and sister and she said that she struggled with purity. Shoot, I'm single and saved but I too, have some heathen hormones. The brother was like, "At least you only have few "hot" days a month. Our cycle is every 3 days". That alone should be enough to get men committed to celibacy on the move.

I for one am shy, but decided this year that if the brother seems interesting, looks aight, I will smile and tilt my head. The whole unapproachable thing is real and I for one won't let that keeps me from getting wifed up.

If I sound like I'm on a mission, it's 'cause I am.