Depressed and stressed over this hair

[atlien]

I just can't do this anymore /images/graemlins/mad.gif....I am getting way to depressed over my hair I feel so shallow /images/graemlins/frown.gif. My hair is breaking all over the place and the scary thing is I don't know where the breakage is coming from and what is causing it /images/graemlins/confused.gif. I have used emergencee, the hard stink stuff(can't even think of the name I am so through), I even went and brought the $35 super reconstructor from Keracare, I used it last night and it seem like it made the breakage increase /images/graemlins/wallbash.gif. I do not know what the problem is I do not use heat on my hair except for the ocassional rollerset, I don't dye my hair, I oil everyday scalpand ends.....so what's the problem/images/graemlins/whyme.gif. I thought I was on the right track but obviously not. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif I am just so sad right now because I know breakage=no bra strap length so my consistance has been in vain. I know I can do the braids or buns or whatever other protective style but gosh I just wanted to wear my hair out for a good month but with all the breakage I'm just disgusted /images/graemlins/barf.gif to even look at it anymore. Why can't we enjoy our hair it's just not fair /images/graemlins/frown.gif. My pastor preached that sometimes you have to cut things off to prosper he used hair as an example, when you cut off all the old hair and start fresh it seems to grow back even better...I have been thinking about this all the while after last night his message seems clearer /images/graemlins/smirk.gif. I wanted long swinging hair but it just don't seem like it's growing my way....I give much props to the ladies with 4b hair that have overcome these dilemmas and achieved great lengths, but I am bowing out of this journey before I lose my mind /images/graemlins/whyme.gif

 

[webby]

Oh atlien, how I wish you weren't going through this /images/graemlins/kiss.gif

I don't know what is really going on with your hair, but I can say this...stress will only add to the problems. When my hair was in a pixie, I stressed constantly. I imagined that it was way worse than it really was.

After gaining so much weight, I started to stress over that, taking the focus off of my hair. I looked in the mirror one day and realized that I had grown my hair back out; it was in a nice even bob and it was NOT falling out.

If your hair is really damaged and not showing signs of improvement, perhaps a chop will be helpful. But nothing grows better than healthy hair. I am proof that it will grow back; I've had it short, then long, then short again time after time.

 

[atlien]

Thanks Webby , I can't see where the breakage is I don't see any broken off parts in my head it even looks longer /images/graemlins/shocked.gif but when I comb my hair the pieces are all in the sink. I am going to go to the hair cuttery place after work and let them do what they do. I just can't take seeing those broken pieces anymore it drives me crazy /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/crazy.gif. I am just so through already /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

 

[UmSumayyah]

What was the time span in which you used all that protein? Maybe what you need is some moisture treatments for awhile.

 

[mrslee]

It sounds like to me you are using too many reconstructors etc. You need to moisturize your hair with a good deep conditioner and also use a really good moisturizing shampoo. I think you have an overkill of protien going on with your hair.

 

[atlien]

Every other month they were not close together. I think a big chop is what I need. I wonder how my water head will look in a baldy /images/graemlins/scratchchin.gif.

 

[genesis]

I am so sorry to hear this, I have been there too, actually I am still recovering from a mishap with my hair. I didn't recall seeing in your post any reference to moisture, other than oiling. I was wondering what you were doing to moisturize your hair? I know that when my hair was breaking horribly balancing protein and moisture for me was the key. Starting with a fresh cut is also a good idea, in doing so your hair should grow back healthier and longer. I wish you luck!!

P/S It's only hair and it <u>will</u> grow back. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[**Tasha*Love**]

Make sure you get a good stylist at the hair cuttery. They cut hair really nice there. My hair is doing the same thing but I think it's the dry but cold air here in the ATL. When I come in from the cold I notice that I have pieces on hair on my clothes. I cannot tell where the hair is coming from because my hair still looks healthy. I know that cold weather can be harsh on my hair so I am just going to give it some extra TLC. Also right now I am still in the grieving process over my mother and it has had an stress effect on my body - period. So I am trying not to focus on what is happening but just giving myself the extra attention that I need. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[atlien]

Sorry about your mom/images/graemlins/Rose.gif no comparison to my little hair problem. At this point I really don't even care how they cut it as long as they cut it off. I made up in my mind that my focus will now be on getting my body ripped and not on my hair.

 

[rayne]

Before chopping it all off, try doing a series of deep moisturizing treatments. Like Genesis said, balancing moisture and protein is the key. All of the protein conditioners you named are heavy duty. So even if you did them two months apart, without doing any moisturizing after and in-between, they still may be the culprit. But please cheer up, being depressed about it is not going to fix the problem /images/graemlins/Rose.gif

 

[Queenie]

I think moisture is the key also. It also could be your daily moisturizers don't agree w/your hair. I have had that problem for years until I found coconut oil and water.

 

[sengschick]

((((((((atlien))))))) I'm so sorry you're suffering w/this frustration. /images/graemlins/Rose.gif But when you are frustrated, it's not the best time to make decisions. Maybe you could get a trim tonight and see how things settle before you decide to do anything more. I think getting 'riped' would be a wonderful deversion for you /images/graemlins/smile.gif .

 

[atlien]

Me too /images/graemlins/smile.gif.

 

[itismehmmkay]

[ QUOTE ]
rayne said:
Before chopping it all off, try doing a series of deep moisturizing treatments. Like Genesis said, balancing moisture and protein is the key. All of the protein conditioners you named are heavy duty. So even if you did them two months apart, without doing any moisturizing after and in-between, they still may be the culprit. But please cheer up, being depressed about it is not going to fix the problem /images/graemlins/Rose.gif

[/ QUOTE ]


ITA /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Wait a good month or two and concentrate more on moisturizing your hair. In fact, I would eliminate protein altogether during this time because it sounds like your hair is just too hard and not hydrated enough. Use a good shampoo (don't do CON though b/c the buildup will just add to your stress), a good moisterizing conditioner (maybe cholesterol), and a good leave-in (Fantasia IC does more than it seems and maybe some NTM), then a nice creamy rollerset. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[Dutchess]

I went through this very same thing a few months ago. I wasn't sure if it was shedding or breakage. I was told that it only looked like a lot of hair because my hair is long. It wasn't until I stopped stressing over my hair and went back to basics that the shedding subsided. May I ask the purpose of oiling your scalp?

 

[Faith]

I'm with the other ladies....moisturize it first. Cut back on the protein. My hair was breaking a lot before too (IMO not a lot according to some). I bumped up on my moisture. I didn't really focus on the protein side (I used Affirm 5 in 1 and GPB..nothing strong) really and the breakage and shedding has subsided.

 

[atlien]

[ QUOTE ]
Dutchess said:
I went through this very same thing a few months ago. I wasn't sure if it was shedding or breakage. I was told that it only looked like a lot of hair because my hair is long. It wasn't until I stopped stressing over my hair and went back to basics that the shedding subsided. May I ask the purpose of oiling your scalp ?

[/ QUOTE ]

Actually I don't really oil my scalp I just get really close to the hair near my scalp and put oil on it.

 

[atlien]

[ QUOTE ]
Faith said:
I'm with the other ladies....moisturize it first. Cut back on the protein. My hair was breaking a lot before too (IMO not a lot according to some). I bumped up on my moisture. I didn't really focus on the protein side (I used Affirm 5 in 1 and GPB..nothing strong) really and the breakage and shedding has subsided.

[/ QUOTE ]

I thought the only way to stop breakage was to cut all the hair off this is what the beautician told me there's no correcting it she said. My hair is already breaking not shedding so I guess the moisture will not help now.

 

[dreemssold]

Wait a minute, atlien..hooooold the phone. Please don't do any chopping yet. Breakage stops and starts all the time...I don't know why your stylist would say a BC is the only way out /images/graemlins/mad.gif. Why don't you smother your hair with moisture for a week? Do an oily creamy pre-poo treatment, follow with a CW, then a deep conditioner (moisturizing, course) and then moisturize and wear a plastic cap to bed every night for a week. Even baggie method if you can. Just give yourself one week of intense moisture and then, after that if you hair isn't feeling much better and the breakage hasn't stopped, then consider a big TRIM. Don't chop just yet...I don't think that's the answer /images/graemlins/nono.gif. Most importantly, don't be depressed /images/graemlins/kiss.gif.

 

[Faith]

Well, if that was true then I would have had to start over {{{atlien}}}. The increase in moisture in my case cut down the breakage I went from about 10-13 a day on average to 3 to 4 and now I'm down to 1-2/day on average. And what I meant was not only did it help with my breakage but it ALSO helped with excessive shedding.

 

[atlien]

/images/graemlins/laugh.gif...You are so silly I am holding the phone/images/graemlins/phone.gif /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif. I will give it one more week of moisture crazy then after if I see one more broken hair /images/graemlins/mad.gif

 

[rayne]

[ QUOTE ]
atlien said:
/images/graemlins/laugh.gif...You are so silly I am holding the phone/images/graemlins/phone.gif /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif. I will give it one more week of moisture crazy then after if I see one more broken hair /images/graemlins/mad.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/clap.gif Yeah, another head of hair saved...for now at least /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[Angelicus]

You can and will get through this /images/graemlins/kiss.gif

 

[Mahalialee4]

Protein needs to be balanced with moisture and with acidic treatments to balance the PH. acid (as in ACV---are you doing mild ACV rinses?)Bonjour

 

[greenidlady1]

I'm so sorry to hear this, girl. Stress and protein can do a can do a number on your hair- in fact, I posted about this about 7 weeks ago. Take the advice of everyone's posts. You may also want to try some B complex vitamins (they help your body with stress). Know that you can get through this and we're all in your corner /images/graemlins/smile.gif
Take care,
G

 

[LB_Williams]

In addition to voting for moisturizing, how are you doing nutrition wise? Are you eating lots of veggies, whole grains and high quality protein? Drinking lots of water and avoiding alcohol and caffeine? If not, this could contribute both to your stress levels and your hair problem. HTH and hang in there, we are here for you! /images/graemlins/rosebud.gif

 

[ClassicChic]

I think you are over doing the protien. I recently went through this. I cut like 3/4 inches myself. You may need a nice trim plus it will make you feel better because your hair will look nice with a trim. Stop with the protien. I used ORS Mayonaise (sp) for about 2 hours followed by Mizani Moisturefuse for about another 3 hours. I did this thwice within one week. Then I used Affirm 5 in 1 the next week. This product is AMAZING /images/graemlins/clap.gif. If you can get this product, buy it. I followed it with Mizani as well. My hair has greatly improved. Mositure is always key.

 

[anahnamuslyyours]

atlien, thank you so much for making this post. I feel your pain. I recently had so much breakage, the only solution was to chop off three inches (before the cut, I looked like I had a tale because my hair was long and healthy in the middle, but the sides had all broken off). I was so upset, I cried in the salon. And then I decided I wanted to be a hermit for the next 8 months or so so that I could grow most of the 3 inches back. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine, she turned me on to LHCF.

Anyway, I hadn't been doing protein or anything, so I know that wasn't my problem. Mine stemmed from work-related stress. So I'm now on a quest to destress as much as I can. I've also started taking more vitamins and trying to sleep more. I was so interested in trying to find way to get rid of stress in my life, I Googled and found a bunch of stuff. The best link I found though, was here. It contains all kinds of info on what vitamins to take to help combat stress, and even has some recipes for/with foods that include these vitamins. HTH &amp; good luck!

 

[Isis]

[ QUOTE ]
LB_Williams said:
In addition to voting for moisturizing, how are you doing nutrition wise? Are you eating lots of veggies, whole grains and high quality protein? Drinking lots of water and avoiding alcohol and caffeine? If not, this could contribute both to your stress levels and your hair problem. HTH and hang in there, we are here for you! /images/graemlins/rosebud.gif

[/ QUOTE ]
ITA! /images/graemlins/smile.gif Diet is everything. It affects our hair directly as well as our overall health and emotions. Please check your diet right away.

I also agree with the others who say to balance moisturizing with protein. Too much protein can make hair very brittle. The pH balance Mahalialee4 mentioned is so important also.

Of course the stylist is going to suggest cutting off your hair! Please consider all we are telling you before making such a decision, we do speak from experience and we care very much about you!

 

[Jenai]

Any updates Atlien?