I am in a bad place right now and I hoping you ladies can help bring me out of it. I am sick of my hair. I BCed 4/30/2010 and can't help but regret it since my hair is still only neck length. I had once piece of hair (literally one piece) that was shoulder length and see through. Now while the front of my hair looks decent the back looks awful. I have this nape hair that is course and won't straighten NO MATTER WHAT so I end up having the hair that sticks out straight whenever I move my head. And even after trimming significantly I still have see through hair back there that won't lay down. Now I can't wear my hair in any style, only a ponytail and my hair barely fits into a ponytail so I have to use bobbypins to make a pathetic bun. Ugh...I am so hair anxious. I put in braids and take them out in two weeks because they start to look bad, I do a bantu knot out and my hair looks a mess by the end of the day, and now this with the straight hair. I am relaxed and I flat ironed last night and my hair looked divine but of course after wrapping and sleeping in a satin bonnet my hair wont lay down. I want the long thick hair so bad but I'm getting so discouraged because whenever I wear styles that don't require heat my hair snaps off like crazy so I retain nothing. Only when I wear my hair flatironed straight can I manipulate and comb it without losing any hair. My regimen is simple: wash and deep condition once a week, air dry. CO wash once a week when wearing bantu knots. Mosturize with garnier sleek/shine, hairveda whipped, or hawaiian silky and seal with oil. I am not happy with my progress or the condition my hair is in. I did a year long stretch and touched up about 1 month ago very carefully. What am I doing wrong? Am I the only one who feels its unfair that we have such high maitenence hair? I sit next to girls at work who have long flowing thick hair for no reason other than they were born with it. But we have to jump through hoops and rings of fire to get decent length and that is after going a few years with "what the hell happened to your head" hair. Am I the only one who feels cursed with this difficult hair. If we all were born with long flowing hair that kinked and curled then I would be fine with that but we're not. All other races of women are but we're not. Even biracial women often are born with long hair but I have yet to see it in our culture. My 3 year old dd doesn't have much hair and I try to keep her hair protective styled all the time with twists or braids. I mosturize her hair and comb and brush it carefully, I avoid rubberbands. Still she has no hair. It's not fair. I need some encouragement and reassurance so that I will keep pushing forward and find my confidence again. I've lost it in feeling ugly because I don't have a decent hairstyle to wear which is important to me. I hope I'm not upsetting anyone in my rant but I am so through...please pull me back ladies.