I got pushed around by my stylist...

[blueabyss333]

I've always played devil's advocate for stylists, but not this time. I went in for highlights after two months of new growth and instead I left with a relaxer. I told her that I didn't want a relaxer but she insisted. She said that my hair is too thick (which it is) and would pop off. But I told her that I promise to keep my hair moisturized and I always do a phony pony anyway. I wanted to tell her that I was stretching to AT LEAST 3 months and about LHCF so that she would know what I was doing, but it's my secret. I felt like I had to just go with it because it's my mom's friend and she does a good job. To top it off, she gave me a dusting when she just gave me a trim last month!

 

[BMoreFlyy]

You should have said something. You paid for it!

 

[blueabyss333]

I tried to but she really is a nice woman and a good friend of my mom's. I tried to debate but it just wasn't happening once I sat in that chair.

 

[Shimmerwink]

I know what you mean, I always have my mind made up on what I want before i visit my sytlist but somehow I end up doing different things or extra things. Which means more money for her. One thing though I never ever let anyone trim, dust my hair.......bad experience.

 

[Tee]

I feel your pain. I had that problem when my aunt did my hair at JC Pennys back in the day. I paid her but she basically did what she wanted to do.

My solution.......I found another stylist that listened to me. I pay her my money she needs to do what I say.

If you dont feel strong enough to stand firm in what you want, you might need to really think about going to someone else who will listen to you and do what you want them to do. It just looks like this lady is not taking what you seriously. You shouldn't have to beg, plead, and explain like a child for what you want.

I wish you well. Sorry you didnt get what you wanted.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Blue, this is your hair. YOURS. No one else has the right to do anything except what you want done, I don't care if they're your aunt, best friend's mama, whatever.

What if this woman had insisted you needed a good five inches cut off, because your hair was too long? Or insisted on leaving the relaxer on for 45 minutes because your hair was too thick? Would you have spoken up then? Or let her do what she wanted?

It may be time to find another stylist, one who will listen to you. Otherwise, your hair journey is really in someone else's hands.

ETA: And don't tell her about LHCF. She definately would not understand..you'd never hear the end of it from this bossy so-called stylist. Trust me.

 

[KiniKakes]

Blue, this is your hair. YOURS. No one else has the right to do anything except what you want done, I don't care if they're your aunt, best friend's mama, whatever.

What if this woman had insisted you needed a good five inches cut off, because your hair was too long? Or insisted on leaving the relaxer on for 45 minutes because your hair was too thick? Would you have spoken up then? Or let her do what she wanted?

It may be time to find another stylist, one who will listen to you. Otherwise, your hair journey is really in someone else's hands.

ITA. I hate that crap. Its ure hair and ure money, and she has no right to tell you what you are going to do with it. Its totally ridiculous. Thats why i go to the Dominicans (who dont argue back, and simply do what u tell them).... i simply couldnt deal with the pushy/aggressive stylists who "know whats best" for you at all times. I mean, the situation is complicated by the fact that this is ure mom's friend, so you dont want to get as stern/nasty as you might otherwise get with another stylist.

I agree with those who said to start looking for another stylist. This one sounds pretty bull-headed, and like she wont change..... which means that she will constantly be derailing your goals and challenges by forcing HER wishes on you.

Good luck with this situation.... I have been there and i do feel your pain, which is why I am so angry for you.

 

[carolina_belle]

My stylist won't highlight hair 8 weeks out either. Once she explained it to me, it made sense. I usually relax around 10-12 weeks, but she prefers to wait 10-12 weeks after the color to relax due to the double processing on the hair. If I stretched then I would have waited 18-20 weeks for the next relaxer. That would have been breakage city for me. So, she relaxes then colors (with the appropriate time in between) instead of coloring an old relaxer. I've learned to speak up in the salon because sometimes they have a good reason, but it needs to be explained further. I'm the customer so don't rush me. Take the time to explain it.

Are you still going to get a hair color?

 

[balisi]

In this case, I side with your stylist. As a rule (for very good reason), you color a relaxer, never relax a color, and highlights count as a color. If it were me, I would have explained that to you and not relaxed until you were ready in four weeks. But I also would not have given you the highlights before the relaxer.

 

[tenderheaded]

You can lose your hair if you relax color treated hair 2 wks out - a stylist caused me to lose my hair because she did nor know this Now that your're relaxed you'll have to wait 30 days at least. Also, you need a new stylist. Our hair does not need to be dusted/trimmed every month, unless you don't want your length to progress!!!

 

[blueabyss333]

Thanks for the responses. I think it is best I will only go to her for certain things like coloring (I know, bad). I've been doing my relaxers for the past year and a half now, so I will continue to do them myself when I want. I'm back home from school and decided to see her on a regular basis, but I'm not going to do that if it means interferring with my growth and healthy hair goals.

 

[blueabyss333]

My stylist won't highlight hair 8 weeks out either. Once she explained it to me, it made sense. I usually relax around 10-12 weeks, but she prefers to wait 10-12 weeks after the color to relax due to the double processing on the hair. If I stretched then I would have waited 18-20 weeks for the next relaxer. That would have been breakage city for me. So, she relaxes then colors (with the appropriate time in between) instead of coloring an old relaxer. I've learned to speak up in the salon because sometimes they have a good reason, but it needs to be explained further. I'm the customer so don't rush me. Take the time to explain it.

Are you still going to get a hair color?

That makes sense, and I think that's why she did it. HOWEVER, I've stretched before with color without a problem. I will go back to get highlights in a few weeks.

 

[blueabyss333]

My stylist won't highlight hair 8 weeks out either. Once she explained it to me, it made sense. I usually relax around 10-12 weeks, but she prefers to wait 10-12 weeks after the color to relax due to the double processing on the hair. If I stretched then I would have waited 18-20 weeks for the next relaxer. That would have been breakage city for me. So, she relaxes then colors (with the appropriate time in between) instead of coloring an old relaxer. I've learned to speak up in the salon because sometimes they have a good reason, but it needs to be explained further. I'm the customer so don't rush me. Take the time to explain it.

Are you still going to get a hair color?

That makes sense, and I think that's why she did it. HOWEVER, I've stretched before with color without a problem. I will go back to get highlights in a few weeks.

 

[blackbarbie]

From a stylist point of view, I side with Balisi and say that your stylist should have explained why she wouldn't do it so you wouldn't feel like you got punked, but from a customer's point of view, I say I don't care if it's your mother, father, sister, or brother, as long as you are paying them, they should listen.

I pay my brother to do my hair and I was done with him once he "cut" my hair instead of trimming it when he knew I was trying to grow out my layers. (I was a model for him during a hair show and was not looking in a mirror to see what he was doing the entire time)......That was August 2005 when I stopped going to him and started doing my own hair weekly. He only does my color and relaxers and when he did my relaxer in Dec. of last year, he took out his scissors to "clip" my ends. I was so nervous, but I politely told him (in a joking manner)..........."ummm, you know me and your scissors don't get along so you can just put them back up" Then he held my ends in his hand and said "well look at this"....Then I told him...."and your point???"................I guess he got the picture cause he didn't even ask about clipping them when he relaxed my hair 2 weeks ago!

So just man up and be prepared to deal with your stylist, especially if you're going to be paying her your hard earned $$$$

 

[Cichelle]

This is one of the reasons I don't go to stylists. I don't know what it is, but I cannot stand up for myself with them. At least, that has been my experience in the past. It's been quite a while though. But I understand how you feel.