"Is that a weave or your real hair?"

[CarmelCupcake]

Hi ladies. Im just curious...for all the ladies with mid back length hair and beyond, how do strangers respond to your hair? Do they say, "ooh your hair is long!", or do they ask, "Is that a weave?" Do they believe you when you tell them it is real? Do you ever feel like you've worked so hard to achieve long lengths for someone to accuse you of your hair not being real?

 

[prospurr4]

I am almost WL and have been asked if my hair is "all mine." I just say yes and KIM....I see the question as a compliment. I do get the "Ooh, your hair is long" comment occasionally.

I am texlaxed with a lot of my natural texture left, so most people can tell that it's all my own hair. In fact, many folks assume that I am natural.

 

[CarmelCupcake]

I am almost WL and have been asked if my hair is "all mine." I just say yes and KIM....I see the question as a compliment. I do get the "Ooh, your hair is long" comment occasionally.

I am texlaxed with a lot of my natural texture left, so most people can tell that it's all my own hair. In fact, many folks assume that I am natural.

Your hair is very pretty! I stopped by your fotki and i noticed that you havn't used direct heat in years. How do you do it?!!

 

[CarmelCupcake]

bumping for more replies, please.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Would like to hear more myself. I keep my hair up, so I don't get any questions except; "Will you ever wear it down?"

 

[ADB]

People will ask me if it's all mine. Then they just stare at my hair in awe. I take the question as a compliment. I also don't mind if people touch it. I use it as a time to educate black women so that they stop believing the stupid stereotype that black women can't have long healthy hair.

 

[cutiepiebabygirl]

My hair is not extremely long...

But I was just in Target the other day...my hair was in a loose twist out...the cashier asked if it was my hair. I told her it was..and she went said "It's so long."

I just gave her a blank stare. I wasn't being rude, I'm not sure how you respond to such comments.

I think it's rude to ask those questions.

 

[karezone]

You just thank them and tell them about LHCF.

My hair is not extremely long...

But I was just in Target the other day...my hair was in a loose twist out...the cashier asked if it was my hair. I told her it was..and she went said "It's so long."

I just gave her a blank stare. I wasn't being rude, I'm not sure how you respond to such comments.

I think it's rude to ask those questions.

 

[Angelicus]

my hair is short and people ask me if my hair is mine.

 

[brg240]

I get ooh your hair is long, i don't think anyone's asked if my hair was a weave.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

People just look, but dont ask. Im must be scary to them.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

I've never been directly asked if it's a weave, but lately people have been sort of suggesting indirectly that it could possibly be one and wait for me to either agree or correct them. One girl was like, "Your hair is pretty and it's all yours huh? I can tell." So, she was basically asking if I had a weave, but I liked the way she said it. lol. And I saw an aunt I hadn't seen in a while, whose daughter-my cousin-had in an mbl weave. The first thing my aunt said when she saw me was, "girl, you and (my cousin) be wearing that hair, huh!?"

Things like that are more complimentary than offensive to me, and the only time that I have had the feeling that I've grown my hair for nothing is one time when I was at an audition and a group of us had done stretches to warm up. The lady giving the audition was like, "ok, now everybody fix your weave back in place and we'll get started! " That really annoyed me because here I had fixed my hair trying to stand out and look nice and I just wound up looking like another girl with a straight MBL weave. I wear messy braidouts to auditions now

 

[mostamaziing]

People just look, but dont ask. Im must be scary to them.

lmaoo!! unintended mean muggin can do wonders erplexed

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I mostly get the "wow is that all your hair" or something along those lines. I've never had anyone ask directly if it's weave or accuse me of wearing weave. Alot of people take it upon themselves to touch it....but I really don't mind.

 

[stelladata]

Yah, I almost always get asked. "Is that all your hair?" "Is that your real hair?". I used to get offended or annoyed by it but, by now I am a bit immune. I just smile and answer "Yes". And keep it moving. I don't usually get the "oooh your hair is long" compliment up front. It's as if they need a confirmation first before they can hand out a "free compliment" or something lol.

I find it difficult to be angered by the questions, or even see them as accusations. It's a good feeling breaking stereotypical boundaries sometimes

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I have not been weave checked since I was relaxed, but I'd just ask (assuming it's a woman) "Are those your real breasts?" or "Is that a real Valentino [insert appropriate designer name here] bag?"

That usually shuts them up and they realize how RUDE it is to ask someone if their hair is real.

 

[beans4reezy]

I am just APL and I get that question all the time. I have one cousin who asks me that everytime she sees my hair blown out and straightened. When I tell her yes, she actually asks to touch my hair to see if I am telling the truth.

A few months back, I started a thread about a VP at my job who took me aside to tell me that my hair looked "wild" (braid out gone bad). Well, a few weeks after, I got my hair blown out and straightened and he asked another coworker if that was my real hair. When she said yes, he said he wanted to hug me to tug on my hair to see if it was in fact real.

Its like a Black woman having long hair is such a foreign concept.

I love it though- it shows that I am doing something right!

 

[Jewell]

I used to get that question when I was relaxed bone straight...since it looked like a weave at times, but most people knew me long enough around the area and knew my hair was long. I did have 1 deputy sheriff who was Latino oogle and compliment me on my hair, and he didn't ask if it was a weave first. At the time, it was MBL.

ETA: Whenever my semi-antisocial sister sees me after a long time, if my hair was hanging down and it's not obviously a wig, she would ask me if it was my hair. And, these days any time she sees a black woman with long, natural hair (whether on TV or in public), she says, "I wonder if she has Indian in her family, or if she's 'mixed.'" DANG some ppl are never going to outgrow their IGNORANCE. ...sheesh as IF a purely Black woman can't have long hair!!! Makes me smdh.

I have, however, had Filipino women ask me on more than 1 occasion if my I had implants. And, I'm very petite if you know what I mean, so IDK WTH gave them that impression!! As Beans4Reezy says, it is VERY rude to ask about someone's hair being real or not. Unless they want hair care tips, then it doesn't matter if it's a weave, wig, etc.

 

[theLovelyStyle]

Wait, why do some people feel as if its rude to ask someone if your hair is real again? Or is it only rude if they don't follow up with a compliment? IDGI

 

[diadall]

I guess I am proof that you don't have to have long hair for people to think you have a weave. I have SL hair but it is very full and has lots of body. I get asked if I have extensions or a wig.

 

[ms-gg]

When my hair was longer, I would get asked this. What ticked me off were people who acted as if I were lying. They asked me for advice, I gave it to them and they turned around and asked me "are you sure you didn't add any hair to make it fuller?"

The hell? lol... Where they do that at?

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

Wait, why do some people feel as if its rude to ask someone if your hair is real again? Or is it only rude if they don't follow up with a compliment? IDGI

I don't think it's rude either...I also wouldn't be offended if someone asked if my boobs were real or my bag lol. I would just say "girl naw, I got this from new york" and if someone asks me if my boobs are real or fake then I'm taking that as a compliment (maybe because I don't have any lol). If someone implied that I was lying then that would be rude but I don't think honest curiosity is rude. Maybe they want to find out where you got ya hair done or bought ur bag

 

[lovegymnasts]

Wait, why do some people feel as if its rude to ask someone if your hair is real again? Or is it only rude if they don't follow up with a compliment? IDGI

I sometimes find it rude because I have yet in my life heard someone ask a White, Hispanic, or Asian woman if her hair was real or her's or if she added pieces but I often hear this question asked of a Black woman.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I get asked about the realness of my hair and I'm natural (almost APL but never wear it straight)

I always get it phrased "Is it all yours?" natural or relaxed.

 

[faithVA]

I think we may get more questions because our hair tends to be more interesting than women of other groups. If I look at all the white or indian or hispanic women at work there really isn't much variety going on besides a cut. But if you look at the African American women, although we are fewer numbers we do have a looooot going on - dreads, weaves, wigs, half wigs, twists, fros, twistouts, relaxed (various lengths, styles), braids, etc... And then each person switches it up. We are a fascinating people and people are fascinated even if they communicate that in some strange way.

The thing I find odd is the African American people that see me all the time that can't tell the difference between my hair and the braids, kinky twists. When I took out my braids and put my hair in a twist out several black people commented about my cutting my hair

I have my hair in mini twists now and the AA lady at work asked me yesterday so is this your hair now or is it extensions. Because I'm into hair its obvious. But to people who are not into hair, they really don't have a clue.

We don't even know us, so I can't really expect other groups to know us. I do like when people ask questions because how else will they learn.

 

[Toy]

I get asked all those questions i give a little input sometimes they believe me and sometimes they dont it doesn't bother me.

 

[theLovelyStyle]

I sometimes find it rude because I have yet in my life heard someone ask a White, Hispanic, or Asian woman if her hair was real or her's or if she added pieces but I often hear this question asked of a Black woman.

Ohh, so for you, its more of you thinking that the questioner is making an assumption that Black women can't/don't haven nice, long, or healthy hair.

I get that. But in all honestly, I really can't blame the person with the assumption. I'm pretty sure most of us thought this too before LHCF. I sure did. And honestly, as sad as it is, outside of LHCF I rarely see Black women with real, nice, long, and healthy hair.

But I definitely understand the negativity brought out of the ignorant assumption too.

 

[Solitude]

I sometimes find it rude because I have yet in my life heard someone ask a White, Hispanic, or Asian woman if her hair was real or her's or if she added pieces but I often hear this question asked of a Black woman.

This is so true. I never thought of it that way.

 

[HauteHippie]

I don't think it's rude either...I also wouldn't be offended if someone asked if my boobs were real or my bag lol. I would just say "girl naw, I got this from new york" and if someone asks me if my boobs are real or fake then I'm taking that as a compliment (maybe because I don't have any lol). If someone implied that I was lying then that would be rude but I don't think honest curiosity is rude. Maybe they want to find out where you got ya hair done or bought ur bag

I get asked occasionally and my hair isn't even long yet. I only get asked when I wear a stretched puff and so far, only by another Black person. White people always think it's my hair, even when I go from short puff to straight MBL (I have to give them the dang-girl-how-many-times-I-gotta-tell-you look). But I won't mind when people do ask, b/c I'd be helping to break another stereotype and hopefully planting the seed of hope for other Black women.

I don't think it's rude either. I guess it depends on how the question is asked. Like a loud: YOU GOT A WEAVE? As opposed to a: Is that all your hair? I would get annoyed if someone asked if I was sure I didn't have pieces added, though.

Also, people ask if my nails, teeth (and they are not that straight/white), and boobs are real. Even people who should know, so I can't get offended by every little thing.

 

[Whimsy]

I get asked if it's all mine, or some people just ask what kind of hair i bought lol
When I say it's mine, i don't know if they believe me but they seem to.