"Is that your real hair?"

[Okay]

I flat ironed my hair today and was asked if it was mine. For me it depends how people ask but she just asked if it was mine and then just went "wow that's really cool it's beautiful" and then asked for tips which I thought was funny since it's only shoulder length.

 

[southerncitygirl]

its depends on who asks and how its asked.....most black folks that ask me tend not to be loud or rude about it (especially in mixed company) and i think most yt folks that know me have better sense than to ask. i have quite a bit of shrinkage and most people are fascinated by it. i think it can be a compliement at times but its still frustrating that people generally think we don't have the capacity to grow our hair to long lengths, including our own people. i don't understand why folks don't understand that weaves and wigs are a different styling option and that doesn't mean that we are bald underneath

if someone was rude about it then depending on the day they may get laid out or drop kicked in the throat....especially if they dare touch it without asking

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

I don't mind it since most people that are aksing/have asked know I wear wigs. But I hate when I'm asked in front of a group of people..like I'm being put on the spot. LOL it's just like another poster said- it's more annoying when you are wearing fake hair. I've been asked when I'm rocking my own hair to so over all it depends for me.

 

[yorkpatties]

Well, I've seen this topic around before since I've lurked for years, but as my fellow newbies have mentioned, it's OUR time now. LOL

I've been asked this when I was in my early 20's when my relaxed hair was thick and a little past my shoulders. I always took it as a compliment. Sure, it was always a hating *** ***** who asked, but my answer was always a slap in the face to them. Most people who ask want you to say its fake.

It's really silly though, if you see a girl in the street with a large bottom, would anyone really walk up to her and ask if her *** was real? If you saw a girl with big boobs, would you walk up and squeeze them? For some reason hair seems to be the exception.

 

[Ms. Tiki]

Omg! I came in this thread to read everyone's stories but ended up have my own moment. I put my phone done to a sec to put my hair in in a bun. The chick next to me said, oh wow Tee is that all you. I thought you had a a couple of tracks in the back. Might better but I don't like this chick. So for me it was annoying. Ugh! Now let me get back to reading this thread

 

[RocStar]

Not to be rude, but I don't think you should have commented on the post if you've seen this topic so many times before. Some of us new things on the site haven't seen this topic and even those that have, like to share their experiences.

But now I'm going back to the topic at hand since that's why we're here.

 

[AlwaysNatural]

Some jealous heauxs wait till I got in a weave to ask me specially when im near guys.. Smh...

Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

Some jealous heauxs wait till I got in a weave to ask me specially when im near guys.. Smh...

Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF

From my experience It's usually someone I don't LIKE who asks. Everyone else is kind of decent enough not to ask

 

[yorkpatties]

Some jealous heauxs wait till I got in a weave to ask me specially when im near guys.. Smh...

Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF

Exactly! Rarely does someone ask with good intentions.

 

[SoopremeBeing]

Weeeeeeelllllllll I've been playing with weaves and different hairstyles for two years now, so I am almost positive everyone in my camp knows my hair is not all mine. So I haven't really been asked that question. But from reading some of the prior posts, I can see how it can make someone uncomfortable. I think the more appropriate way to start that conversation is like this: "Your hair is nice! I love the curls/color/design, etc. Where do you get it done/who's your stylist?" Yknow, something like that. "IS THAT YOUR REAL HAIR" is a bit abrasive, IMO.

ETA: also my belief is if you are not family or my hair stylist, keep your damn hands out my head, please.

 

[Chromia]

It annoyed me once, when I was walking home from work and this strange guy was driving by, yelling at me from his car. No one else was around to hear, but it was just annoying how he was laughing and driving away when he said it. He said it in a mocking tone and he asked it like it was a rhetorical question.

It hasn't annoyed me when other people have asked, because they're serious, they're genuinely curious, and they ask as if the answer might be yes, which it is. And they're standing or sitting near me, not driving or walking away from me, so I get a chance to respond.

 

[RegaLady]

Exactly! Rarely does someone ask with good intentions.

Not true. I don't think its that black and white. Some people are just curious. It is funny because I said upthread that I asked a girl this question this weekend. What is funny is she was swinging her ponytail, asking if her hair looked like a weave. I proceeded to ask her, and she said no, smiling and cheesing. She was flattered. I understand many women may not be flattered, but that doesn't mean there aren't others who are. That doesn't mean everyone who asks has malicious intent. Geeze...

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

Not true. I don't think its that black and white. Some people are just curious. It is funny because I said upthread that I asked a girl this question this weekend. What is funny is she was swinging her ponytail, asking if her hair looked like a weave. I proceeded to ask her, and she said no, smiling and cheesing. She was flattered. I understand many women may not be flattered, but that doesn't mean there aren't others who are. That doesn't mean everyone who asks has malicious intent. Geeze...

That's true. Most people who I've been asked by with good intention start off with, "Wow your hair is nice!! Who does your name/How can I get that?" And then within conversation they'll ask, 'Oh? that's your hair?'

Usually you can sense if they're sincere or if their tryin' to rain on your parade.

Usually anyone who starts of with 'this that your hair?' But doesn't attach an 'it looks good' or 'it's interesting' may or may not have good intentions

 

[RegaLady]

That's true. Most people who I've been asked by with good intention start off with, "Wow your hair is nice!! Who does your name/How can I get that?" And then within conversation they'll ask, 'Oh? that's your hair?'

Usually you can sense if they're sincere or if their tryin' to rain on your parade.

Usually anyone who starts of with 'this that your hair?' But doesn't attach an 'it looks good' or 'it's interesting' may or may not have good intentions

True. Although I will say even a compliment can have some ill intent. I don't think it matters much to me, because I don't grow or wear my hair for anyone else but myself. If someone ask me if my hair is a weave, or if my hair is all mine, I answer accordingly. I honestly never thought it was that serious. But I guess asking this question means different things to different people.

 

[Jasmataz]

It depends. If it seems like their intentions for asking are good, then I don't mind. Some people may ask if it's a weave so they can order the same hair . Others may already suspect that it's real, and just want to verify so they can have hope/inspiration for their own hair journey. When I first started taking better care of my hair, I loved seeing black women with healthy and/or long hair because it gave me motivation. I also loved seeing a good weave too because that was my main form of protective styling.

Now, if they ask because they think they're embarrassing me or something, then I'll just ignore them because if I tell them I'm not wearing a weave they won't believe me anyway...and I'm not about to be proving anything to some random person. And if I tell them it's fake they'll give me the "I knew it" smirk, and assume that I'm bald headed or something .

 

[Boujoichic]

I have been asked and I was flattered last time I straightened I even had people ask to touch my hair and weave check me. I wasn't offended because I was thinking to myself Ive made it I have hair so nice it doesn't look real. I still prefer people ask before touching my hair though.

 

[cheryl26]

I think it would be rude to ask and I'd never do it. I'm usually asked, Is it naturally curly or Did you use a curling iron? Even strangers will come behind me to twirl their fingers in my curls if I'm just in a check out lineerplexed.

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

I think it would be rude to ask and I'd never do it. I'm usually asked, Is it naturally curly or Did you use a curling iron? Even strangers will come behind me to twirl their fingers in my curls if I'm just in a check out lineerplexed.

I wouldn't ask either. Unless it's a super close friend or family member. Touching your hair!? Wow, and that doesn't creep you out a bit!? Even when I see a hand coming for my head, it still startles/freaks me out a bit

 

[cami88]

I almost never wear my real hair out. I'm in half wigs 95% of the time. People ask me all the time if they are my real hair. If they are strangers then I say yes. I think it's a rude question and I have no obligation to reveal my personal business to you just because you asked.

If it's a family member, or someone who goes to my school (usually its black girls wanting to know if they too, can achieve the style) then I tell them its a half wig.

 

[Napp]

i never get asked this. i guess my hair looks to thin or something

 

[jenaccess]

I have been ask this question all of my life. My hair is BSL and I have worn weaves that was cut into a short bob and was never ask 'is that your hair' GO FIGURE!

 

[yorkpatties]

Not true. I don't think its that black and white. Some people are just curious. It is funny because I said upthread that I asked a girl this question this weekend. What is funny is she was swinging her ponytail, asking if her hair looked like a weave. I proceeded to ask her, and she said no, smiling and cheesing. She was flattered. I understand many women may not be flattered, but that doesn't mean there aren't others who are. That doesn't mean everyone who asks has malicious intent. Geeze...

1. She initiated the conversation about her hair. She was obviously dying to tell the world, "Look, this is MY REAL HAIR!!!! Ask me about it!!!" You did not approach a random in the street to initiate a conversation about her hair.

2. I said "rarely" not "always". I don't think that is black and white at all.

 

[yorkpatties]

i never get asked this. i guess my hair looks to thin or something

You NEVER know what is going to prompt someone to ask this though. It doesn't just have to be long, straight bouncy hair. I will never forge the first time I was asked the question as a teen, I was with a friend who was wearing clip in shirley temple curls, big, brown, bouncy really weavy looking curls. A bunch of girls approached us and asked her about her hair, she said it was a weave. The girls then looked at my hair and said it was a weave too! My hair didn't look like ish! It was in a french roll in the back and a few short, very real looking curls on the side. At this point I thought these chicks were out of their mind but they began examining my head. If my hair looked like a weave that day.......then we are ALL doing just fine. LOL

 

[bedhair29]

My hair changes so damn often , I think I just confuse folks. I usually woi it and only my fam and friends get to touch it. My friends didn't get how it worked but I explained the black hair secrets to them haha. Not alot of black people here so people assume it's mine and ask which salon I go to. Hell one white dude asked me if I was hair dresser cause my hair looked good hahaha, here's to sensationnel!.. One thing they're really fascinated with though is the fro/curly hair, never had a peaceful day at school without my friends messing with my hair haha

Sent from my GT-I9000 using GT-I9000

 

[Beautytalk69]

It depends. If it seems like their intentions for asking are good, then I don't mind. Some people may ask if it's a weave so they can order the same hair . Others may already suspect that it's real, and just want to verify so they can have hope/inspiration for their own hair journey. When I first started taking better care of my hair, I loved seeing black women with healthy and/or long hair because it gave me motivation. I also loved seeing a good weave too because that was my main form of protective styling.

Now, if they ask because they think they're embarrassing me or something, then I'll just ignore them because if I tell them I'm not wearing a weave they won't believe me anyway...and I'm not about to be proving anything to some random person. And if I tell them it's fake they'll give me the "I knew it" smirk, and assume that I'm bald headed or something .

JasmineLatice GIRL after looking at your siggy..I didn't read a word you wrote..honest to God. I need to know your regimen..now! Are you natural, relaxed..what? Girl just spill it..please!

 

[sylver2]

wtf at people getting upset at this topic, are you serious. Women who've never hit a certain length in their life are accomplishing and excited. For someone whos never had long hair to get long hair and be asked is that a weave is like omg wow! ive made it you think my hair is so long or full it could be a weave i think its the ultimate compliment & accolades. let them be excited! We are here to support and get supported. I was at that place once and will never forget the feeling.

 

[greenandchic]

My hair is only BSL and I wear it up almost all the time these days and I'm still asked every once in a while. When I'm asked, its usually in context (at a BSS, or hair care isle at a store).

• I was asked at an Asian owned BSS by the clerk who was an young Asian woman. She was very complementary and knew right of the bat it was my hair, but wanted to be sure just in case. She acked like it was a breath of fresh air that my hair was real. I guess where she works, black women with real long hair is probably a rare sight. IDK
• The last time was at Sally Beauty and an employee (Black woman) asked me under her breath and through her teeth if that was my hair. I was a little shocked because I didn't think I looked like I had that much hair by the way I was wearing it. She was complementary too.

 

[JJamiah]

i never get asked this. i guess my hair looks to thin or something

Don't feel bad Napp, most of the time I don't either. I barely get any. If it happens once a year I get :woohoo:

 

[Harina]

JasmineLatice GIRL after looking at your siggy..I didn't read a word you wrote..honest to God. I need to know your regimen..now! Are you natural, relaxed..what? Girl just spill it..please!

She has hair commercial hair.


But is it real?

 

[RegaLady]

wtf at people getting upset at this topic, are you serious. Women who've never hit a certain length in their life are accomplishing and excited. For someone whos never had long hair to get long hair and be asked is that a weave is like omg wow! ive made it you think my hair is so long or full it could be a weave i think its the ultimate compliment & accolades. let them be excited! We are here to support and get supported. I was at that place once and will never forget the feeling.

Which is why its mind boggling why people think someone asking them this is an insult.erplexed People stay looking for haters.