spinoff: dark skin women with long hair are

[SandySea]

Well, in my neck of the woods, many people associate long hair with "good hair" which is associated with mixed racial heritage. Lighter complexions are linked to racial mixture and a higher chance of having "good hair" and possibly long hair. So maybe some people view a darker skinned girl with long hair as unusual because they do not link dark skin with racial mixture or long lengths. We all know that this is a very simplistic and ignorant view of the world, but that's the way it is with some people. They can't believe that someone who apparently does not have racial mixture in their family can have long hair. Whether we want to admit is or not, these types of views are deeply seeded in our society. This may not be everyone's experience, but these ignorant attitudes are definitely out there.

As a dark skinned girl, I never cease to be amazed at the comments I get from hair dressers when they see my natural texture. They usually say--"oh, your hair is not bad at all." Huh?! What's bad hair and why do they expect me to have it?

 

[aquarian1252004]

do we have to play into these stereotypes on this forum too? I thought we were here to break them

 

[determined_to_grow]

As a dark skinned girl, I never cease to be amazed at the comments I get from hair dressers when they see my natural texture. They usually say--"oh, your hair is not bad at all." Huh?! What's bad hair and why do they expect me to have it?[/quote]

I got this the last time I got a relaxer.

As to the many post on this issue is just going to the left when it shouldn't be.

My father is from Guyana and my mother was raised there so I found myself there many many summers- and again in my experience ( I stayed in GT and Mahika (the capital and the country) all of the time people would say "ehh look da hair pon darkie"- it did not offend me it just happened.
Why? Again IMO it's something that is not common.

 

[Softresses]

I hope by us talking about the problem, and acknowleging that it exists in some places goes a long way to help us see how to break these myths/stereotypes.

Some of the ladies here did not know it even existed. If they moved to my area they would be shocked. Now they are aware and can formulate an answer to the madness instead of being caught unaware.

It is shocking that in 2006 we would even need to be having this conversation, but if one of our members feels this way and needs to talk, I don't mind talking about it.

Softresses

 

[glamazon386]

I hope by us talking about the problem, and acknowleging that it exists in some places goes a long way to help us see how to break these myths/stereotypes.

Some of the ladies here did not know it even existed. If they moved to my area they would be shocked. Now they are aware and can formulate an answer to the madness instead of being caught unaware.

It is shocking that in 2006 we would even need to be having this conversation, but if one of our members feels this way and needs to talk, I don't mind talking about it.

Softresses

I agree.

 

[Curlee_lurker]

This type of thinking is just as bad as someone stating, "She’s cute for a dark skin girl......for a big girl, etc."

I'll have to agree with this one. The hate within our community is just as strong as what we experience from non-blacks. I won't speak on it any further though.

And I get asked on a daily basis if all of my hair is mine, whether it looks nice (imo) or a h.a.m. But then again I get asked if my eyes (hazel) are mine as well, and even showing people baby pictures of me still doesn't clear it up most times.

 

[determined_to_grow]

I agree.

Cosign off the cosign!!!

 

[pinayprincess]

I was tormented and traumatized as a kid, dealing with girls in the 4-b range when I was around 1-2a range in elementary school. I wanted to chop it all off. It took a while for me to get over some of the comments that were made because my hair was different. It was more of a liability than an asset, because there were more 4b's than 2's. And I was the same color as these girls. It was a mess.

 

[hopeful]

I was tormented and traumatized as a kid, dealing with girls in the 4-b range when I was around 1-2a range in elementary school. I wanted to chop it all off. It took a while for me to get over some of the comments that were made because my hair was different. It was more of a liability than an asset, because there were more 4b's than 2's. And I was the same color as these girls. It was a mess.

That's just awful pinayprincess. Some kids can be so mean!

 

[determined_to_grow]

- that happened to my BFF and to this day she still has a complex over this. Kids could be really mean!!!

I was tormented and traumatized as a kid, dealing with girls in the 4-b range when I was around 1-2a range in elementary school. I wanted to chop it all off. It took a while for me to get over some of the comments that were made because my hair was different. It was more of a liability than an asset, because there were more 4b's than 2's. And I was the same color as these girls. It was a mess.

 

[Dannygirl]

This is a very hateful comment and very divisive. What makes your opinion more valid than theirs? Simply because they described her as yellow, does not mean, that is what they thought made her attractive. (Insert, short girl, tall girl, thick girl, etc....) Perhaps your distaste for the "ooing and ahhing" over light skin women, makes this girl un-pretty too you. Looking for reasons why someone is not attractive, when someone else states otherwise, only diminishes your inner beauty.

This type of thinking is just as bad as someone stating, "She’s cute for a dark skin girl......for a big girl, etc."

I understand where you are coming from, but your post sounds bitter. I get tired of men oohing and ahhing over women with big butts. Guess what, I do not have a big butt. So, should I start tearing another woman down because she has an ample rear? I think not.

Would you want someone to dismiss you like this? Imagine, they start finding all the reasons, you are unattractive becasue the men are "ooing and ahhing" over the girl with the natural hair. (just an example and food for thought).

Is it 2006?

ETA: I have natural hair, so I hope no one takes my post wrong. And the rear end thing is also an example to further illustrate my point.

OHH NOO no that probably didn't sound right.. I'm going tell you how their mind set is... they were oo and aaa over her BECAUSE she is light skinned and not even because she was pretty..these MEN around my area will be staring at a light skinn chick only because she is light skin and ive seen dark skin females who are beautful but guys are like ... no she to dark? and I'm just like wwhat in the world..
and its hurtful to see that and they are dark themselevs and they were like 'I don't want no dark baby with nappy hair"...and i'm just like wow? thats why i was saying i hate how some men well oo and aaa over a "light skinn" female only because of that and if a female is pretty rather she is dark or light I GIVE HER CREDIT and don't think anything of it beauty is beauty ... no ifs and or buts about it.. and they made comments after like "oh she cute but she black" and my mouth just droppped because I cannt believe it...

 

[zora]

Interesting convo.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I understood what you were saying and where you were coming from Dannigirl.

Don't really feel like making any comments on this as everyone has pretty much said things I would say

 

[Dannygirl]

I understood what you were saying and where you were coming from Dannigirl.

Don't really feel like making any comments on this as everyone has pretty much said things I would say

thanks I just didnt' want to seem like I'm bad mouthing "light skin females" or anything I was just saying it sucked to see that kind of mindset...

 

[pinayprincess]

let's just do our best, ladies!
we don't want to perpetuate this vicious cycle of ignorance!

 

[MzOptimistic]

hmmm...just shopping.....not buying anything....

 

[levette]

I don't want to be biased but it is beautiful to see a dark skinned women with long hair if it is neat and kempt. I think that dark skin is beautiful and long hair is like icing on a cake.. Well, personally I think that all black skin colors are beautiful and we have nothing to be ashamed of.

 

[sherann]

Interesting. I always thought anyone with thick, coarse hair was more inclined toward length--complexion notwithstanding. Fine, long hair on a black woman is more rare to me than the thick stuff.

That's what I thought too since thicker hair is more resistant to damage from chemicals and combing.

 

[dynamic1]

thanks I just didnt' want to seem like I'm bad mouthing "light skin females" or anything I was just saying it sucked to see that kind of mindset...

Thanks for responding. Sometimes we do not fully convey everything we are thinking when we post and I know people can take it the wrong way.

We all share similar experiences; and I do not think a post with the opposing title would have been well received.

When men say goofy things, most of the time it is just to strike up a conversation (are you black, is that your hair, etc....). Additionally, they may say things they believe are compliments even though it comes out *ss backwards a lot of the time.

 

[sweetcashew]

As a dark skinned girl, I never cease to be amazed at the comments I get from hair dressers when they see my natural texture. They usually say--"oh, your hair is not bad at all." Huh?! What's bad hair and why do they expect me to have it?

I got this the last time I got a relaxer.

As to the many post on this issue is just going to the left when it shouldn't be.

My father is from Guyana and my mother was raised there so I found myself there many many summers- and again in my experience ( I stayed in GT and Mahika (the capital and the country) all of the time people would say "ehh look da hair pon darkie"- it did not offend me it just happened.
Why? Again IMO it's something that is not common.[/quote]

Not be argumentative but you visited Guyana, I lived there for 18 years. I know lots of dark dark midnight girls with brastrap to waistlength hair. In Guyana I'm considered a darkie just because I'm black.
It's just a common term people throw around. I've heard people darker than me refer to me as a darkie. Believe me, long hair on a dark skin woman in Guyana is pretty common.
A lot of Indians are very dark so some of those woman are half and half and as black as coal.

 

[deltagyrl]

I'm amazed and embarrassed that I know so little about Guyana. I would love to see the women that you're talking about.

I got this the last time I got a relaxer.

As to the many post on this issue is just going to the left when it shouldn't be.

My father is from Guyana and my mother was raised there so I found myself there many many summers- and again in my experience ( I stayed in GT and Mahika (the capital and the country) all of the time people would say "ehh look da hair pon darkie"- it did not offend me it just happened.
Why? Again IMO it's something that is not common.

Not be argumentative but you visited Guyana, I lived there for 18 years. I know lots of dark dark midnight girls with brastrap to waistlength hair. In Guyana I'm considered a darkie just because I'm black.
It's just a common term people throw around. I've heard people darker than me refer to me as a darkie. Believe me, long hair on a dark skin woman in Guyana is pretty common.
A lot of Indians are very dark so some of those woman are half and half and as black as coal. [/quote]

 

[Cincysweetie]

people always think light skinned girls with long hair are mixed too!

i don't get it...

I don't either. As as "light-skinned" woman with "long" hair, I get comments ALL the time about "You must be mixed", "You can't possibly be all black", and other ignorances (dunno if that's a word???) I don't think it's any different. People just find it hard to believe that ANY ordinary black woman, be she light skinned, dark skinned, orbrown skinned could grow long hair.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I don't either. As as "light-skinned" woman with "long" hair, I get comments ALL the time about "You must be mixed", "You can't possibly be all black", and other ignorances (dunno if that's a word???) I don't think it's any different. People just find it hard to believe that ANY ordinary black woman, be she light skinned, dark skinned, orbrown skinned could grow long hair.

I agree with this. Imo, some black people try so hard to separate themselves from one another and this is yet another way. Sometimes, I don't even get mad when someone complains of racial discrimination because we exhibit a more extreme kind within our own race. I hope this kind of behavior will diminsh within my lifetime but I'm not banking on it!

 

[LovelyStyle]

Hey everyone,

This is a very thought-provoking topic. I can relate to all of the various views expressed.

In my experience as a chocolate brown sister, I'm often fielding questions about my hair.

Sistas, who tend to be my complexion, will compliment me and sometimes ask exactly what I do in order to have healthy, growing hair, and I tell them. Likewise, the white women I work with seem to be "amazed" by my hair. Meanwhile, the brothas and white guys are giving me a lot attention because of my hair (and etc, etc, of course ).

Peace

 

[Dannygirl]

Thanks for responding. Sometimes we do not fully convey everything we are thinking when we post and I know people can take it the wrong way.

We all share similar experience;s and I do not think a post with the opposing title would have been well received.

When men say goofy things, most of the time it is just to strike up a conversation (are you black, is that your hair, etc....). Additionally, they may say things they believe are compliments even though it comes out *ss backwards a lot of the time.

hahha I'm sorry i was rushing out the door and didn't fully explain myself and when i got back i was like.. she probably think im crazy or somthing...
(after reading over it)

 

[determined_to_grow]

Amazed and embarassed about what? I'm not trying to be argumentative either and this is going to be my last post on this issue b/c it is clearly a dead issue.

Granted I've only visited Guyana but I have sisters that experienced the same thing and they lived there (and they still do). Did I ever say there are no dark skin women w/ long hair? NO! Did I say the "darkie" comment offended me- NO went along my way.
I DISCUSSED MY EXPERIENCE- nothing more nothing less!!!!

I'm amazed and embarrassed that I know so little about Guyana. I would love to see the women that you're talking about.


Not be argumentative but you visited Guyana, I lived there for 18 years. I know lots of dark dark midnight girls with brastrap to waistlength hair. In Guyana I'm considered a darkie just because I'm black.
It's just a common term people throw around. I've heard people darker than me refer to me as a darkie. Believe me, long hair on a dark skin woman in Guyana is pretty common.
A lot of Indians are very dark so some of those woman are half and half and as black as coal.

[/quote]

 

[plove]

do we have to play into these stereotypes on this forum too? I thought we were here to break them

The thread about BEYONCE is what made me think about this,
It was said in that thread that Beyonce was the total package she has the hair, the body and is LIGHTskined. Need I say more.
Go look in the thread and you will see it for you self.

 

[caribeandiva]

i believe that's true. it's so unusual to see a black woman with healthy BSL or longer hair that's her own, that you can't help but stare at her like she's a creature from outter space or something. i also think anyone, regardless of skin color, who's never been able to have long hair before look exotic with long hair too.

 

[deltagyrl]

Whoa! I accidentally pasted someone else's post to mine. This was my post:

Originally Posted by delta_gyrl
I'm amazed and embarrassed that I know so little about Guyana. I would love to see the women that you're talking about.

The rest of that was from another poster.......

Amazed and embarassed about what? I'm not trying to be argumentative either and this is going to be my last post on this issue b/c it is clearly a dead issue.

Granted I've only visited Guyana but I have sisters that experienced the same thing and they lived there (and they still do). Did I ever say there are no dark skin women w/ long hair? NO! Did I say the "darkie" comment offended me- NO went along my way.
I DISCUSSED MY EXPERIENCE- nothing more nothing less!!!!

 

[*Happily Me*]

i get asked if my hair is a weave....

white folks seem amazed that my hair is so "long"...

i've once said that if your hair is in the 3s, then it's easier to grow, IMO. i can't prove that cause i don't have that type of hair.
but i have NEVER heard of light skinned girls' hair is expected to be long and you look exotic, or crazy, if you're dark and your hair is long.

but, whatever makes you feel better i guess...

i DO think there are negative stereotypes with being dark skin in certain neighborhoods. i've posted before that my best friend growing up was a beautfiul chocolate sister. shape to die for, articulate, pretty thick hair, beautiul face. i would have traded with her in a second (not anymore, i love myself too much now). but, she was the bomb!

she frequently heard "you're cute for a dark girl". that ish used to hurt me

but i have NEVER heard of what this thread addresses. NEVER. i think it's made up.

additionally, i think it's kind of insulting to the light women on this board that have fought long and hard to have healthy hair. to suggest that it goes goes along with being light is dismissive. IMveryHO.