Spinoff: Does the mixed question offends you?

[Paradox]

People ask if I have mixed in me, not if I am mixed because it is obvious that I am not.
I don't get offended, since it has always been women that ask. I just take it that they are curious. My mother used to get asked the same thing.
If it was a male I would get offended.

 

[XXXtacy]

I get offended . I lived in California most of my life and had long hair. No one ever question me or my mother. Moved to DC in my mid twenties and got that question from everyone. My hair is pulled back nobody asked. My hair is down and the whole world wanted to know. CAN'T A BLACK WOMEN HAVE BEAUTIFUL HAIR WITHOUT BEING MIXED?

You and I are of similiar make up. We look like a black woman with long hair. (You are such a cutie-putie looks like you could be a niece of mine ).

Here in the south, it blows people's mind. My sister in law is mixed. When we are together here in the ATL, women want to know how I get that good weave hair to blend in so well. Men think we are mixed and I am the dark one with the good hair. It's a trip.

I have worn weaves that were shorter than my hair with Indian hair that hair looked definitely wiggish or at least not mine. I was never asked if I was anything other than a black woman.

Just interesting, how people process black women with long hair. Dammit, its time we break the mold of old stereotypes.

 

[joib]

My question is why ask? I don't think ,in all my life, that I asked someone were they mixed. What is mixed going to tell me about them? Where they got their eye color, hair color,hair length,skin color, etc. I went to school with more darker complexion girl that had long hair than "mixed" girls. No one asked them or myself were did our hair come from. The same reason the little mocha color girl has hair she can sit on is the same reason the "mixed" color girl has two inches of hair- It just is. It has nothing to do with mixed bloods but genes. We could all wake up tomorrow with no hair. What would we all have in common? We're bald-headed and black.

 

[joib]

You and I are of similiar make up. We look like a black woman with long hair. (You are such a cutie-putie looks like you could be a niece of mine ).

Here in the south, it blows people's mind. My sister in law is mixed. When we are together here in the ATL, women want to know how I get that good weave hair to blend in so well. Men think we are mixed and I am the dark one with the good hair. It's a trip.

I have worn weaves that were shorter than my hair with Indian hair that hair looked definitely wiggish or at least not mine. I was never asked if I was anything other than a black woman.

Just interesting, how people process black women with long hair. Dammit, its time we break the mold of old stereotypes.

Thank you, I totally agree. BTW I love your avitar. Kenya Moore is one beautiful black women.

 

[trj1922]

Never offended... only puzzled!erplexed

For real though, I am mixed. My mom is black and my dad is even blacker!

 

[joib]

Never offended... only puzzled!erplexed

For real though, I am mixed. My mom is black and my dad is even blacker!

I am going to coin that response. Maybe I will make a tee-shirt or bumper sticker.

 

[TaurusAngel]

My question is why ask? I don't think ,in all my life, that I asked someone were they mixed. What is mixed going to tell me about them? Where they got their eye color, hair color,hair length,skin color, etc. I went to school with more darker complexion girl that had long hair than "mixed" girls. No one asked them or myself were did our hair come from. The same reason the little mocha color girl has hair she can sit on is the same reason the "mixed" color girl has two inches of hair- It just is. It has nothing to do with mixed bloods but genes. We could all wake up tomorrow with no hair. What would we all have in common? We're bald-headed and black.

Because its been beaten into SOME people's heads, especially black folks, that the only way you can have exotic features is if they come from another race. If your eyes are slanted, you must be this, if you have high cheek bones, you're this, if you have long hair you can be everything under the sun, as long as it isn't black, no you can't be black. God didn't mean for blacks to have anything beautiful. Girl, u ain't know that?

 

[joib]

Because its been beaten into SOME people's heads, especially black folks, that the only way you can have exotic features is if they come from another race. If your eyes are slanted, you must be this, if you have high cheek bones, you're this, if you have long hair you can be everything under the sun, as long as it isn't black, no you can't be black. God didn't mean for blacks to have anything beautiful. Girl, u ain't know that?

I guess I have my mom to thank for raising me under a rock.

 

[Stepiphanie]

Because its been beaten into people's heads, especially black folks that the only way you can have exotic features is if they come from another race. If your eyes are slanted, you must be this, if you have high cheek bones, you're this, if you have long hair you can be everything under the sun, as long as it isn't black, no you can't be black. God didn't mean for blacks to have anything beautiful. Girl, u ain't know that?

That's so messed up, but definitely true. I've been asked if I was everything under the sun about my origin, wether I'm mixed, dominican? ( I had this man continue to speak to me in spanish, and asked me over and over if was sure I was haitian and not dominican!!) LOL. When I was younger I was soo confused as to why peolpe would ask me such questions and why the hell it mattered!! But I don't get offended, I just say no and and walk away. Some things will never change

 

[titan]

 

[titan]

Here in the south, it blows people's mind. My sister in law is mixed. When we are together here in the ATL, women want to know how I get that good weave hair to blend in so well. Men think we are mixed and I am the dark one with the good hair. It's a trip.

Just interesting, how people process black women with long hair. Dammit, its time we break the mold of old streotypes.[/quote]


I wondering if you mixed ladies would get the same question if your hair was short, and not straightned?

 

[TaurusAngel]

I guess I have my mom to thank for raising me under a rock.

That's so messed up, but definitely true. I've been asked if I was everything under the sun about my origin, wether I'm mixed, dominican? ( I had this man continue to speak to me in spanish, and asked me over and over if was sure I was haitian and not dominican!!) LOL. When I was younger I was soo confused as to why peolpe would ask me such questions and why the hell it mattered!! But I don't get offended, I just say no and and walk away. Some things will never change

lol, i meant it as a joke, though there are tons of people out there who definitely have this mind set.

 

[Stepiphanie]

lol, i meant it as a joke, though there are tons of people out there who definitely have this mind set.

Ditto..I knew it was a joke

 

[Muffinz05]

I get this question asked all the time and sometimes it does get annoying especially when a person swears that you are a part of a certain ethnic group when your not. Yes, I am multiracial but I also dont need somebody coming up to me saying that you gotta be mixed because you got that "good hair" or other stupid ish. I can walk into a store in a predominatly hispanic area and they start speaking spanish to me and I'm like, ?????? Sometimes i'll act stupid like I don't understand what their saying or just join the conversation, my mother is part puerto rican. I come from a very diverse background, my father is mulatto and native and my mother is a black puerto rican and native so we are very used to the comments but when a person starts acting stupid by saying stupid ish like you gotta be mixed cause you got long hair or other stuff then you crossed the line.

 

[Seraphina]

It depends. If the question is based on curiosity because of how I look, then no. But if it's asked based upon my personality, voice, tempermant, etc., then yes, I get offended. I don't like it when it's obvious that the person is asking in an attempt to decide if they are comfortable with me or not.

 

[blasianbeauty]

Here in the south, it blows people's mind. My sister in law is mixed. When we are together here in the ATL, women want to know how I get that good weave hair to blend in so well. Men think we are mixed and I am the dark one with the good hair. It's a trip.

Just interesting, how people process black women with long hair. Dammit, its time we break the mold of old streotypes.

I wondering if you mixed ladies would get the same question if your hair was short, and not straightned?[/QUOTE] I have a mixed friend with short hair (she's half asian and black like me) and there's no question about it that she's mixed. I see plenty of black women with long hair around my way and I know that they're full black. It's the facial features that are dead giveaways to me...not even skin color.

 

[Mis007]

Nope doesn't offend me at all, most black people are mixed (is this not why we come in all shades with varying features). This doesn't have to show in hair texture/ length or lightness of skin utter rubbish. I personally think the Black race is so diverse and we have a rich heritage, envied by many...It's beautiful to see so many different shades/features of BLACKNESS...​

 

[Mynappturalme]

Yes, I have been asked the question before, and I've been offended. Since I don't look at all mixed in any way, that means they are asking because of the way that I am wearing my hair. (either really curly or when it used to be long and straight).

Why can't I just be black with pretty hair?! Mixed chicks aren't the only ones that can have pretty, curly or long hair.

 

[zzirvingj]

I don't really get offended. Sometimes it saddens me since people are assuming that because of my hair, I must not be 100% Black. So I just started telling them the truth...that I am actually mixed. Last week when one of the nurses asked (kind of loudly), "You mixed right?"...I replied, "Why yes...African and American."

 

[NikStarrr]

I get asked this fairly often. I don't find it offensive, and don't usually assume the asker is trying to offend. Most people are just genuinely curious.

 

[NYAmicas]

It's crazy, some people on here get chewed out in threads over things like this. Ms.Fadu hit upon that in her response, some people assume you feel a sense of superiority which I think is a drastic leap of conclusion.

I've always found it amusing personally and that's when people assume things about me whether it's my personality, talents, and yes, even genetic makeup. I find that some people assume I'm mixed and I got that question before my hair was going anywhere so it's not a big deal to me.

 

[anon123]

I don't think I've ever been asked, so I can't say for sure if I would be offended. I think people would have to clarify what they meant, anyway, because lots of people, especially AA's given how we construct our "race" categories here, are likely to be "mixed". I don't think I'd be offended, I just would think such a general question doesn't make sense. I guess they'd mean in the last couple of generations having an ancestor that was classified as something other than "black"?

 

[*Frisky*]

It's crazy, some people on here get chewed out in threads over things like this. Ms.Fadu hit upon that in her response, some people assume you feel a sense of superiority which I think is a drastic leap of conclusion.

I've always found it amusing personally and that's when people assume things about me whether it's my personality, talents, and yes, even genetic makeup. I find that some people assume I'm mixed and I got that question before my hair was going anywhere so it's not a big deal to me.

This is so true and I dont get it either sometimes but obviously it will be a never ending battle which is sad because it brings about somewhat of a seperation and I thought we had a sisterhood here for the most part.

To the OP, I have been asked this all my life by white and black folks. I dont get offended at all because most of us are mixed with something and you can never tell what you will be dealt look wise depending on genetics.

 

[Eclass215]

I guess "offended" is not the right word for what I feel when people ask - frustrated by their ignorance is more like it.
Any mixture in my racial background goes past the two generations before me, so no I do not say I am "mixed" with anything (although we all are pretty much).

What's hilarious is that I've only been asked this question AFTER I went natural.
So seeing me with straight hair never made people think it, but seeing my hair in its natural kinky state have people wondering...how backwards is that!?erplexed

 

[anon123]

There's just one more thing I wanted to say, and it's about the idea that people ask this because one has "pretty features" or "pretty hair" or "takes care of their hair". I don't feel this is entirely accurate. It almost makes it sound as if the stereotypical way people think black people are "supposed" to look (man, i'm all over the scare quotes today) is not pretty. People don't ask me if I'm mixed, and it's not because I don't have pretty features or that I don't have pretty hair or that I don't take care of my hair. It's because my pretty features and well-cared for hair fit into their stereotype of how black people look. The stereotype, as is usual with stereotypes, leaves a lot to be desired in capturing a complex reality. Sure. I'm just saying, when someone says "it's like you can't be pretty if you're only black" or "it's like you can't have pretty hair if you're only black", it implies that whatever features they are picking up on, the ones that don't get classified as "black" are the pretty ones and the ones that get classified as "black" aren't. No one looks at my hair and thinks I'm mixed, but it's still pretty! It's not that they're asking that question because the hair is so much prettier than my type (though I'm sure it is very pretty, please don't think I don't think so), but because that version of pretty (mistakenly) doesn't fit into their idea of a black woman's pretty.

I hope I expressed myself well, don't mean to argue or hurt anyone, just what I was thinking.

 

[NikStarrr]

I also don't understand why people get frustrated by people's "ignorance" either. I mean, there are a lot of black women who prior to being on a hair board, didn't know that black women could grow long hair. There are also a lot of people who before going natural had worn relaxers for so long, didn't even know their own hair could be classified as curly and not just "kinky or nappy". I really don't think the general public really has the knowledge that all of us on here has--so to get offended by that isn't really fair.

 

[DragonPearl]

I get offended . I lived in California most of my life and had long hair. No one ever question me or my mother. Moved to DC in my mid twenties and got that question from everyone. My hair is pulled back nobody asked. My hair is down and the whole world wanted to know. CAN'T A BLACK WOMEN HAVE BEAUTIFUL HAIR WITHOUT BEING MIXED?

Sure, but not with the hair practices we've been having (combing our hair dry on the regular, abusing heat, chemicals and braids/weaves, not eating healthy foods, clogging our scalp with junk grease, wearing styles that put a strain on our ends, etc...). It is harder for 4a/b hair to grow long with these kinds of practices.

Unfortunately, until most Black women are able to achieve long healthy hair, black women with long hair will be asked if they're mixed. That's just the way it is.

I've been asked if I was mixed, and I didn't get offended. Of course, someone arguing with you about your heritage is just plain rude and yes offensive, so I understand the frustration with people who are ask persistent questions after they've received an answer.

 

[TaurusAngel]

I also don't understand why people get frustrated by people's "ignorance" either. I mean, there are a lot of black women who prior to being on a hair board, didn't know that black women could grow long hair. There are also a lot of people who before going natural had worn relaxers for so long, didn't even know their own hair could be classified as curly and not just "kinky or nappy". I really don't think the general public really has the knowledge that all of us on here has--so to get offended by that isn't really fair.

I agree to an extent. I didn't agree with people asking that before here and i won't agree with it after. I know that a lot of people don't have the knowledge that we do, but still to pressure someone into saying they're mixed goes beyond not knowing. The simple are you mixed question wouldn't be as bad, but people will almost force you to say, yeah, i'm mixed, and i think thats really sad.

 

[NikStarrr]

I agree to an extent. I didn't agree with people asking that before here and i won't agree with it after. I know that a lot of people don't have the knowledge that we do, but still to pressure someone into saying they're mixed goes beyond not knowing. The simple are you mixed question wouldn't be as bad, but people will almost force you to say, yeah, i'm mixed, and i think thats really sad.

I agree, and that is really annoying. I don't think that's necessarily what the OP was referring to with her initial post, so I wasn't commenting on that.

 

[almond eyes]

There are plenty of mixes in where the children come out with a sandy brown and even medium dark brown complexion with 4b hair (yep, I've seen it living and working in Africa). People tend to think that being mixed always refers to black and caucasian mixture when there are so many others. People do tend to think mistakenly when one has certain features, skin or hair texture or length that makes a person automatically mixed. I've argued with some Africans who will state that as long as you don't have the typical dark skin and broad features, you have to be mixed whether you like it or not and when they say mixed it does not mean that your parents are of different races it could be somewhere down the line. To be honest, people see what they want to see and it does not matter what they say, its how you identify and feel about yourself that counts. I know this could be an off topic thread but my sister went to school with a blind white South African woman (she was blind from birth) who swore she was a black South African, you could not tell her that she was not she preferred to only hang with the Africans and the AAs so go figure!!!!!

Best,
Almond Eyes