The gift of singlehood?

[Mis007]

Interesting, well sex was very important within my own marriage, I had three beautiful babies. But seriously no one really enters marriage just to have a sexual relationship.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

But that's just YOUR interpretation of what one is saying and I think I know why, you are so focused on its irrelevance to life according to how you wish to live out your life. For married's, sex is definitely a huge part of marriage because it's a very intimate form of communication. It's not the only form but there is a divinely-placed space for it there. There's nothing wrong with it. Shrugs.

I think Nicola Kirwan summed it up best. so I'm not basing it on how I want to live MY life. I'm basing it on the Word. And I looking at what people are saying. Someone said they basically were frustrated enough to call up their neighbor and have him take are of business. That's really the point where sex is too much of the focus. You are still placing waaaaayyyy too much emphasis on sex and refuse to acknowledge that the Word doesn't place the same emphasis.

 

[Guitarhero]

I think Nicola Kirwan summed it up best. so I'm not basing it on how I want to live MY life. I'm basing it on the Word. And I looking at what people are saying. Someone said they basically were frustrated enough to call up their neighbor and have him take are of business. That's really the point where sex is too much of the focus. You are still placing waaaaayyyy too much emphasis on sex and refuse to acknowledge that the Word doesn't place the same emphasis.

That was someone else, not me. I don't know about the person who said they were willing to call the neighbor..that's not been my statement. I am not placing too much emphasis on sex, it was part of the discussion. I have never said that sex is the primary reason people wish to marry, I said it is part of the biological drive to wish to marry socially. G-d didn't create man's soul devoid of the physical. He knew how to place them together. Sex is a delightful gift of the Creator to man and without it being pleasurable, people would not procreate as much as they do, thereby fulfilling the general world command to multiply. You are reading way too much into people's responses...extremism.

 

[Raspberry]

So in church yesterday one of the ministers talked about how he met his wife. He said he spoke his wife into existence when he was young and when he met her he knew she was the one. He said that he knew he wasn't meant to be single or celibate for life and that he needed to get married so he could have sex (he managed to emphasize this point quite a bit lol). He did throw in a line at the end about needing the right woman to fulfill his destiny (at which you could hear some audible female amens ) Of course I thought of this thread when he was talking

I must say it's always interesting to me how Christian men speak of marriage and sex in much simpler terms than Christian women. To them the reasons for getting married are obvious... Sometimes I think Christian women talking each other to death without involving male input does more harm than good.

Also, even though the minister's statements were definitely male-oriented, his testimony didn't justify lust (at least to me), but rather bolstered my faith in God's goodness and power.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

ITA....

Based on Genesis, God providing a 'help meet' for Adam so he won't be alone imo wasn't based on Adam's need for 'sexual fulfillment' but as the word says so that Adam would not be lonely... Adam was surrounded my animals and nature all day needed human company...

This may or may not coincide with what makeupgirl is saying, but it sparked some thoughts for me. Basically the point about Adam in the Garden kinda made it clear to me that Adam's sexual desire was not that which moved God's hand to create Eve. God had a purpose in mind for marriage, but sexual desire was not the impetus for its creation. Now, sex sealed the covenant and enabled Adam and Eve to become one and to produce offspring--so obviously sex is a central bond within marriage; but I think it is important to recognize the difference between something playing a central role in marriage, and seeking marriage in order to experience the pleasure of that thing.

Now, if God's purpose in ordaining marriage was not to fulfill some sexual desire of Adam's, perhaps before praying to the Lord for a spouse we ought to figure out and get on board with what His purpose actually is for marriage, for James says: "...you do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures." There may be many pleasures to be had within marriage, but I do not believe that those pleasures ought to be what motivate us to seek it. As far as I understand it, choosing marriage is about choosing to step into God's chosen order, it is a choice to raise godly children as the Lord enables, it is a choice to live out the Lord's established system of authority--which for us women means being under authority, that of our husband, and to work within the Body of Christ. I believe we each have to discern how marriage fits into our Kingdom service and only then approach the Lord about it in supplication.
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I've read Paul's admonition about it being better to marry than to burn as simply recognizing individual weaknesses. But I do not believe that his words were meant to say that it's unavoidable to burn. You do not have to burn with passion. I believe Paul's words are commonsense wisdom, kind of like saying that it's wiser if a dating couple doesn't spend a lot of time alone together in order to avoid sexual impurity--but that doesn't mean that if a dating couple does happen to be alone together than sin is unavoidable. Such a couple would be expected to be stronger than the temptation and to be able to exercise self-control.

I honestly think that we are afraid to allow God to order our inordinate affections. As fallen humans, we are so used to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life ruling us that we can't really imagine how life would really be if those things weren't dominating our mind, will and emotions. To be able to simply enjoy a good thing without it driving us seems to be so difficult. And people who can honestly say, "If I have it, I'll enjoy it, but if I don't, I'm not moved," others often see as unfeeling or too ascetic.

I believe that many (no one specific) don't want to lay down this passionate burning because of an attachment to the idea of the pleasure it's fulfillment will bring. People (again, no one specific) have a fantasy of how great their life will be and how it will make them feel, and this passionate drive they see as the way to the fulfillment of that fantasy. So they hold on and let it drive them (many times up a wall!).

Nothing should drive us save the Spirit of God. Really. We need to be normal, benign, neutral. In that state, we simply want His will and enjoy whatever good He provides us. Everything is better after it's released to God because then our emotions aren't driven all over the place depending on it.

 

[Mis007]

we are so used to the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life ruling us that we can't really imagine how life would really be if those things weren't dominating our mind, will and emotions. [/B]To be able to simply enjoy a good thing without it driving us seems to be so difficult. And people who can honestly say, "If I have it, I'll enjoy it, but if I don't, I'm not moved," others often see as unfeeling or too ascetic.

Very true.

 

[menina]

bumping so i can read later..

 

[Kinkyhairlady]

Bumping this old thread for the newbies.I went back to read it and some great points were brought up.