The gift of singlehood?

[nathansgirl1908]

Do people think of sex and desire for it as dirty and sinful? It's beautiful and G-d created the mechanics of it. We are higher animals with a soul and the ability to reason. Sex fulfills it purpose under G-d's plan, that's where sin can come into play - not that we desire it because it's innate, but that it's fulfilled within the confines of marriage for the purposes of preocreation and love of the family. It's also the higher order of things. I don't think that one is less spiritual for desiring to have sex. Without that innate desire, no one would marry. What for? It's a necessary part of marriage and few are the marriage that survive without sex. It is an holy act.

What about those who are physically unable to have sex? This is why I strongly disagree with your assessment. There are people who still manage to have lasting marriages despite sexual limitations. That's why I don't believe that sex has the importance that you are referencing. It is a PART of marriage. And while it doesn't make you less spiritual to desire sex, wanting to get married solely for sex or primarily for sex isn't spiritual. People can quote that scripture all day about it being better to marry than to burn, but it still isn't God's intention for you to run out and just get married to any ole man and use that scripture to justify it. It still doesn't mean He will bless that union. I also don't believe sex is a holy act. That's not the same as saying it is dirty and sinful. I just think people try to attach a more holy and spiritual meaning to it than it deserves so they can continue to excuse their lust.

So back to my original question in this post, what if you marry a man and he is physically unable to have sex? Lets say you waited until marriage to have sex only for both of you to discover this problem Nw based on the moaning about not having a mate in this thread and talking about companionship and having someone next to you at night and to hold your hand, what happens if that's ALL he can do? What if God sends you a mate like that? What then?

 

[Kalani]

Folks are getting caught up on viewing sex as the only reason others wish to marry. Is that actually true, though??? If people never desire sex, then I'd say that there is a psychological or physical problem. This is not to say one should not be balanced emotionally/spiritually. I see quite a lot of extremism in this thread and it's confusing as to why. You truly cannot have one without the other in a valid union....sex.....marriage. It should be obvious that, in a CF, the higher spiritual plane of marriage and relationships is the number one reason for desiring marriage...but that biology rather pushes one towards taking those steps. (Edited)

Same here. When I came into this thread I surely did not expect to see the kind of responses I've been seeing. erplexed

 

[LoveisYou]

Maybe I need to go back and read but who is satin they want to get married ONLY for sex....it seems like ppl are saying they want to enjoy ONE of the benefits of marriage, sexual intimacy with a husband, is that so wrong?

 

[Ladybelle]

Maybe I need to go back and read but who is satin they want to get married ONLY for sex....it seems like ppl are saying they want to enjoy ONE of the benefits of marriage, sexual intimacy with a husband, is that so wrong?

Nope, nothing wrong with that and one of the reasons God tells us to marry is to avoid fornicating.

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[Ladybelle]

What about those who are physically unable to have sex? This is why I strongly disagree with your assessment. There are people who still manage to have lasting marriages despite sexual limitations. That's why I don't believe that sex has the importance that you are referencing. It is a PART of marriage. And while it doesn't make you less spiritual to desire sex, wanting to get married solely for sex or primarily for sex isn't spiritual. People can quote that scripture all day about it being better to marry than to burn, but it still isn't God's intention for you to run out and just get married to any ole man and use that scripture to justify it. It still doesn't mean He will bless that union. I also don't believe sex is a holy act. That's not the same as saying it is dirty and sinful. I just think people try to attach a more holy and spiritual meaning to it than it deserves so they can continue to excuse their lust.

So back to my original question in this post, what if you marry a man and he is physically unable to have sex? Lets say you waited until marriage to have sex only for both of you to discover this problem Nw based on the moaning about not having a mate in this thread and talking about companionship and having someone next to you at night and to hold your hand, what happens if that's ALL he can do? What if God sends you a mate like that? What then?

Lets just say I would be thoroughly.disappointed! Marriage and no sex? I shall pray that if I do ever marry again, my husband wont have that problem and we will be very spiritually & sexually compatible. I mean, we see it over and over again in the bible when a scripture says "and he knew her" or " and she knew him" the word " knew" meant sex. Part of marriage is "knowing" each other in every way and loving each other in every way too- even if sex isnt always in the equation, but I KNOW that I wouldnt want a sexless marriage, at least not for a decade or so, lol!

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[VelvetRain]

It's not just black women. It's all types of women.

Yeah but the majority of women of other races are not complaining about the lack of suitable mates because they are married. Things are at a standhill in the black community. I could care less of the plight of women and care more about what's happening or not happening with black women. This board is full of black women so why focus on women in general?

 

[makeupgirl]

Yeah but the majority of women of other races are not complaining about the lack of suitable mates because they are married. Things are at a standhill in the black community. I could care less of the plight of women and care more about what's happening or not happening with black women. This board is full of black women so why focus on women in general?

Ok that's true. I see your point now. Thanks

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Lets just say I would be thoroughly.disappointed! Marriage and no sex? I shall pray that if I do ever marry again, my husband wont have that problem and we will be very spiritually & sexually compatible. I mean, we see it over and over again in the bible when a scripture says "and he knew her" or " and she knew him" the word " knew" meant sex. Part of marriage is "knowing" each other in every way and loving each other in every way too- even if sex isnt always in the equation, but I KNOW that I wouldnt want a sexless marriage, at least not for a decade or so, lol!

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I think we all know there's sex in the Bible. No one is saying otherwise. But it's something people should realize is not always a part of marriage. I would hope that someone who had a spouse who could not have sex would still manage to be happy and fulfilled in their union. And even though a little disappointment would be normal, if you would be ready to leave or divorce, then you should question your real motives for getting married.

 

[Guitarhero]

I have to agree with you on this one. We are taught to wait and be patient and as taboo as it may be, sometimes we have to be taught how to keep our legs closed or how to train our flesh. Just because we are Christians does not mean we automatically become pro's at how to do it right. So, yeah- I see your point. I think some of us have a tendency to become so heavenly bound that we are no earthly good. If you can't be honest at church, where Godly counsel is supposed to come from, where can you?

This right here. As though we are not sexual beings cuz that would make us "worldly" or something. Thank you.


Ladies, I hope I do not offend, but I'm just going to go and ask it. Are African American women prudes and puritans? Are they afraid of the sexual experience? Are they running so far from sex that they cannot see that sex is a natural part of life and was divinely designed so? What's this aversion to sex by the uber religious? I'm serious and rather confused by it.

 

[Guitarhero]

What about those who are physically unable to have sex? This is why I strongly disagree with your assessment. There are people who still manage to have lasting marriages despite sexual limitations. That's why I don't believe that sex has the importance that you are referencing. It is a PART of marriage. And while it doesn't make you less spiritual to desire sex, wanting to get married solely for sex or primarily for sex isn't spiritual. People can quote that scripture all day about it being better to marry than to burn, but it still isn't God's intention for you to run out and just get married to any ole man and use that scripture to justify it. It still doesn't mean He will bless that union. I also don't believe sex is a holy act.



That's not the same as saying it is dirty and sinful. I just think people try to attach a more holy and spiritual meaning to it than it deserves so they can continue to excuse their lust. I think we all know there's sex in the Bible. No one is saying otherwise. But it's something people should realize is not always a part of marriage. I would hope that someone who had a spouse who could not have sex would still manage to be happy and fulfilled in their union. And even though a little disappointment would be normal, if you would be ready to leave or divorce, then you should question your real motives for getting married.

Yes, it certainly does occur and is tragic. True marriage would work around this issue just like it would for the death of a child, the loss of a home, a job, livelihood in some way. The marriage should survive...however, such tragic circumstances are not the norm for a marital union...sexless. In my church, if you married someone knowing you could not or had an aversion to sex, you would have defrauded your spouse and rendered the marriage invalid for annulment. In other words, you would not have entered into a true marital union (both sides). I think we're focusing on the so-called normal cases.


As far as G-d blessing a marriage, if He's in it and it's being formed to His glory, then He is blessing it. Does that mean there's a magic lock against adultery and unhappiness? No. Why? Because man has free will. He's the one who mucks it up, not G-d. If someone wanted to enter into marriage knowing s/he cannot have sex, then it must be in the open. I would not marry such a person as I desire marriage in its entirety. You may not consider the sex act holy but you are not basing your opinion from a biblical standard. Conception of life is a holy moment. Why? Cuz it is, from G-d's hand in creation. Sex brings that about. Sex within the confines of marriage is a holy act leading to the holy conception of life. Life is precious. There's not a darned thing wrong with people wanting to have sex in marriage. If people want the sister/brother relationship, that's great. If one wants to have the sexual relationship, it's not less spiritual than the sister/brother.

My point is this - these desires are normal and fuel the desire for marriage and bringing children into the world..."be fruitful and multiply" which was the world command. It doesn't mean that every single person has to marry. It is certainly the norm. Nothing wrong with it. From the way it sounds here in this thread, young or older women who desire marriage in its complete form are considered frivolous or something. No, they are not. And I don'[t think that the vast majority of those who desire marriage, sex and children are ignoring developing their relationship with the Creator. So, what's this aversion to the sexual experience? It's not for everybody, I guess...but it is certainly for me.

 

[Raspberry]

We have to be careful not to put men on pedestals.. they are not demi-gods who bestow their favor onto some lucky woman if she is a very good girl. They are imperfect and need to get it right with the Lord just like we do.. The awesome thing about God is that he takes the low-down, foolish, and despised things of the world and loves to transform them into something beautiful for his glory. The fact that he designed imperfect people to become one flesh to the testimony of His glory is amazing.. the bible itself describes marriage as a mystery.

God is good and merciful beyond imagination. The world browbeats women into competing for worthiness through looks and performance for men, lets not fall into the same mentality dressed up in sanctified language. God is the One who gives unfailing love, undeserved favor, He loves to bless His children and see them prosper... We don't have to work at earning stuff from God, and it is prideful to think that we can jump through the right hoops and squeeze stuff out of heaven through works. To experience the very best God has for us is impossible without the transformative power of the Holy Spirit at work in our hearts on a daily basis. That's why we're commanded to keep our eyes on things above and to continually have our minds renewed => only then will we know God's perfect will for our lives.. outside of revelation from the Holy Spirit you can only work with human effort and logic, which is far inferior to God's favor and direction.

 

[Raspberry]

I have had to shift my mind away from this finding and instead be content with what I have in my life now which is a stronger relationship with god. God understands my desire for a mate and honestly I don't feel that he will forsake me in my desire to to be found. God is capable of doing anything and bringing someone into your life according to his timetable and not yours. Sometimes I think we as women just need to be paitient during this time of wait. Cultivate a better personality and continue to be the best woman you can be.

Are you working in accordance with your prayers? Are you living your life right? How is your mentality in general? There are many reasons as to why many of us are single. Start some self reflection. My outlook these days is totally different. I'm simply not pressed about finding a mate anymore which is more than likely a huge reason I'm meeting a better caliber of men that I ever have in the past.

Also when you meet that man what is it about you that is so special that's going to make that man want to purchase that ring for you in the firist place? Dating today is very different. These men are not going to chase or pursue you. Why should they when there have many other options with woman who are going to look better than you and have better personalities than you? You have to be able to differentiate yourself from the others.

VelvetRain While I agree that one's focus should put God first in all things, outside of that I guess I'm a little confused by your post..?

For example, you say that women should be "found" by a man but then you say that men nowadays will not pursue you, and thus women have to make sure they can stick out and be extra special for the right man. Either a woman is right for a particular man and God's purposes for his/her life or she isn't, striving to be a super duper "good woman" to be found worthy of a man (who may not even be the right kind of man for her, regardless of the "good" label) can be a bondage in itself. If a man is being Christ-led he is also expected to look for and pursue a woman who will help him live out God's particular plans for his life, not just a woman who fits a selfish prototype of perfection.

Are you talking about Christian men in particular? That's what my focus is on, honestly I've never had issues attracting relationships with decent non-Christian men but when I decided to pursue godliness I've had to open my heart to a higher and more perfect way when it came to how I interacted with men. If are talking about non-Christian men my comments would be a lot different.

My ultimate conclusion is that God wants us to cultivate a love-walk with Him and the glorious adventure of the kingdom and our place in it. From there we are in the right position/place to meet the right people and to receive the best gifts at the right time. If we are walking in the Spirit there are practical things that we will be compelled to do that will affect our destiny.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

As far as G-d blessing a marriage, if He's in it and it's being formed to His glory, then He is blessing it. Does that mean there's a magic lock against adultery and unhappiness? No. Why? Because man has free will. He's the one who mucks it up, not G-d. If someone wanted to enter into marriage knowing s/he cannot have sex, then it must be in the open. I would not marry such a person as I desire marriage in its entirety. You may not consider the sex act holy but you are not basing your opinion from a biblical standard. Conception of life is a holy moment. Why? Cuz it is, from G-d's hand in creation. Sex brings that about. Sex within the confines of marriage is a holy act leading to the holy conception of life. Life is precious. There's not a darned thing wrong with people wanting to have sex in marriage. If people want the sister/brother relationship, that's great. If one wants to have the sexual relationship, it's not less spiritual than the sister/brother.
My point is this - these desires are normal and fuel the desire for marriage and bringing children into the world..."be fruitful and multiply" which was the worldcommand. It doesn't mean that every single person has to marry. It is
certainly the norm. Nothing wrong with it. From the way it sounds here in
this thread, young or older women who desire marriage in its complete form
are considered frivolous or something. No, they are not. And I don'[t think
that the vast majority of those who desire marriage, sex and children are
ignoring developing their relationship with the Creator. So, what's this
aversion to the sexual experience? It's not for everybody, I guess...but it is
certainly for me.

. There is no aversion to sex on my part. I just don't like it when people try to pretend their motives are rooted in holiness when they aren't. Folks aren't thinking about holiness when they are talking about wanting peen. They just want to have their lust satisfied.

 

[Raspberry]

So back to my original question in this post, what if you marry a man and he is physically unable to have sex? Lets say you waited until marriage to have sex only for both of you to discover this problem Nw based on the moaning about not having a mate in this thread and talking about companionship and having someone next to you at night and to hold your hand, what happens if that's ALL he can do? What if God sends you a mate like that? What then?

A man and woman aren't truly married (from a Biblical standpoint) until there is consummation so what do you mean by physically unable? Do you mean there could never be children? Or you mean he's a minute man but enough can dribble out for conception.. for many sexual problems doctors and therapies help. But to say that a woman would be wrong for having ahard time accepting both a sexless and childless marriage is being needlessly obtuse.

I don't know what a woman should do in that situation, that couple would need to get good counsel and take it before the Lord.. I would also hope that the guy was aware of his eunuch status before he got married, otherwise he was being deceptive.

If there's a scenario where a couple can't have traditional sex due to illness, which happens.. Some women find out later on that they can't have children and they often have a very long and hard emotional journey to accepting this. These are tough things for that couple to work through, and for someone to come from the outside and condemn a woman for having second thoughts and depression in these scenarios is being insensitive. From what I've read of some of these cases - ex. someone who becomes partly paralyzed because of an accident, the couple learns to modify their sex lives to find different ways to pleasure each other. I would think that the length of a couple's marriage plays a big part into how they deal with major life interruptions.

nathansgirl1908 I find that you are creating holiness hoops for Christian women to jump through in this discussion. It's one thing to say that a huge focus on sex as a reason to get married is a mistake (I agree), but to say that God won't bless a woman with marriage unless she is willing to be in a sexless and childless marriage is ridiculous. I've never known a married man or woman to have these thoughts before marriage and God blessed their union just fine. In fact every engaged couple I know was all about dreams of picket fences, awesome sex, and cute kiddies . They learn over time that marriage isn't that simple.. but God is there to take them through the journey. Life often has some hard challenges but we can only cross those bridges if/when we come to them and trust God to be there through it all, and I believe that's what God requires of us above all, trust.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

nathansgirl1908 I find that you are creating holiness hoops for Christian women to jump through in this discussion. It's one thing to say that a huge focus on sex as a reason to get married is a mistake (I agree), but to say that God won't bless a woman with marriage unless she is willing to be in a sexless and childless marriage is ridiculous.

you're the one being ridiculous because that's NOT what I said.

 

[aribell]

I hear people saying basically that a spirit of lust is a spirit of lust before or after marriage. Married people who operate in lust and inordinate affections are still entertaining sin in their heart. I think the bottom line is that lust and other sins are of the heart. Fornication maybe a particular sinful act, but it proceeds from the heart. Victory over such sin is definitely possible--such is the transformation Jesus can work.

Sexual desire isn't lust, but sexual desires that cause distraction, preoccupation, or illicit activities if acted upon are lustful. People have to know what is truly in their own hearts. Again, the Lord can and will change your heart if that is an issue. Not everyone has experienced such, but it is possible.

Basically we need to be free to have joy, worship and serve without being burdened down by our own desires. If my hopes for my own life are a spiritual stumbling block then I need to bring those desires into submission.

Everyone should be able.to seek godly counsel about struggles, but godly counsel will help the person out of the struggle, not simply say "Aw, I understand." It can be difficult to do what it takes to attain spiritual victory, but every real victory will be hard faught. Paul said he pummled his body into subjection, so it's not as if it's going to be easy.

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[Poohbear]

Nope, nothing wrong with that and one of the reasons God tells us to marry is to avoid fornicating.

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Ladybelle

But people are still fornicating during marriages today... So many stories of cheating husbands and wives.

The Bible does not tell us to marry to avoid fornicating. The Bible actually says this:

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

In verse 8, Paul is actually instructing the unmarried and widows to "abide" meaning to stay in that state of being unmarried like he is doing himself.

In verse 9, the word "burn" does not mean "fornicate". It just means if the unmarried and widows cannot stand being unmarried for long, it's better for them to marry.

By the way, this is the King James Version and I know other versions may use different words but I believe that KJV is the most accurate translation.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Right! Dont get married , but get delivered

@Ladybelle

But people are still fornicating during marriages today... So many stories of cheating husbands and wives.

The Bible does not tell us to marry to avoid fornicating. The Bible actually says this:

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

In verse 8, Paul is actually instructing the unmarried and widows to "abide" meaning to stay in that state of being unmarried like he is doing himself.

In verse 9, the word "burn" does not mean "fornicate". It just means if the unmarried and widows cannot stand being unmarried for long, it's better for them to marry.

By the way, this is the King James Version and I know other versions may use different words but I believe that KJV is the most accurate translation.

 

[Ladybelle]

@Ladybelle

But people are still fornicating during marriages today... So many stories of cheating husbands and wives.

The Bible does not tell us to marry to avoid fornicating. The Bible actually says this:

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

In verse 8, Paul is actually instructing the unmarried and widows to "abide" meaning to stay in that state of being unmarried like he is doing himself.

In verse 9, the word "burn" does not mean "fornicate". It just means if the unmarried and widows cannot stand being unmarried for long, it's better for them to marry.

By the way, this is the King James Version and I know other versions may use different words but I believe that KJV is the most accurate translation.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2​

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."


Thanks for the explanation, but the bible does indeed instruct us to marry to avoid fornication. And, once you get married- it's no longer fornication, it's adultery. I know it's taboo and all, but SEX was designed for a purpose and it was designed for married folks to have.

 

[Guitarhero]

. There is no aversion to sex on my part. I just don't like it when people try to pretend their motives are rooted in holiness when they aren't. Folks aren't thinking about holiness when they are talking about wanting peen. They just want to have their lust satisfied.

Um, who are you talking about, though? You are simply incapable of making this distinction. Desiring to have sex is not unholy. I would not marry someone knowing they cannot have sex. That is my G-d-given choice. Desiring is not necessarily lusting. You seem to have a horrid aversion to sex and marriage. Of course, just as your judgment, it can be likewise applied to you. To each his own...exactly...allow those who wish for marriage and fulfilled marriage in its entirety to find it and those who do not, live in peaceful singlehood without judgments. And I see how you're egging us on in this joke...I see you!

 

[Guitarhero]

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2​

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."


Thanks for the explanation, but the bible does indeed instruct us to marry to avoid fornication. And, once you get married- it's no longer fornication, it's adultery. I know it's taboo and all, but SEX was designed for a purpose and it was designed for married folks to have.

Yes, contained right in scriptures. And why the admonition? Because of our innate human nature to desire to have sex. Man is the higher created being and can therefore, control his passions. That is not an easy task and the solution for many is to marry and bring his sexuality under submission to the will of the Father which is the sexual experience through marriage. Fidelity to G-d, fidelity to spouse...the human family being the microcosm of the heavenly family relationship.

The bible also goes to tell married people to not hold back sex from their partners:


I Corinthians 7: 1-7

7:1 Now with regard to the issues you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of immoralities, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. 3 A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband. 4 It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife. 5 Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that everyone was as I am. But each has his own gift from God, one this way, another that.

 

[Guitarhero]

One should know the cultural context in which the scripture was written but this can apply to all the ages. I find this an easily understood translation n modern language, from The Message:


http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+7&version=MSG

1 Corinthians 7
To Be Married, to Be Single . . .
1 Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? 2-6Certainly—but only within a certain context. It's good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I'm not, understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. 7Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.

8-9I do, though, tell the unmarried and widows that singleness might well be the best thing for them, as it has been for me. But if they can't manage their desires and emotions, they should by all means go ahead and get married. The difficulties of marriage are preferable by far to a sexually tortured life as a single.

10-11And if you are married, stay married. This is the Master's command, not mine. If a wife should leave her husband, she must either remain single or else come back and make things right with him. And a husband has no right to get rid of his wife.

12-14For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages—Christian married to non-Christian—we have no explicit command from the Master. So this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her. If you are a woman with a husband who is not a believer but he wants to live with you, hold on to him. The unbelieving husband shares to an extent in the holiness of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is likewise touched by the holiness of her husband. Otherwise, your children would be left out; as it is, they also are included in the spiritual purposes of God.

15-16On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can. You never know, wife: The way you handle this might bring your husband not only back to you but to God. You never know, husband: The way you handle this might bring your wife not only back to you but to God.

17And don't be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God's place for you. Live and obey and love and believe right there. God, not your marital status, defines your life. Don't think I'm being harder on you than on the others. I give this same counsel in all the churches.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Um, who are you talking about, though? You are simply incapable of making this distinction. Desiring to have sex is not unholy. I would not marry someone knowing they cannot have sex. That is my G-d-given choice. Desiring is not necessarily lusting. You seem to have a horrid aversion to sex and marriage. Of course, just as your judgment, it can be likewise applied to you. To each his own...exactly...allow those who wish for marriage and fulfilled marriage in its entirety to find it and those who do not, live in peaceful singlehood without judgments. And I see how you're egging us on in this joke...I see you!

It's obvious from comments in this thread alone that they are viewing it as a holy. I'm not incapable of recognizing this.

But I am laughing at your pathetic attempts to make it seem I have a horrid aversion to sex or marriage. I just don't believe in focusing on sex until you are beside yourself and frustrated with a lack of a husband. If you can't understand that, then you have a problem. it always cracks me up how people try to make it seem like you hate sex just because you aren't an advocate for screwing around or you believe people should have some self control.

 

[StarScream35]

If you are meeting jerk after jerk after jerk who's problem is that really? Afterall what are you doing to attract those type of men? You want a good man. Well how many women can truly say that are that good woman that would attract that best or good man? You can have a good job making six figures, be a homeowner, crazy 401k but none of that stuff makes you a good woman. I love how people are so quick to dismiss biblical advice as if it's not relevant to our time period.

These still quality men out here sorry if that's not your reality.

Material stuff set aside, you and I both know there is a serious problem here in the black community and MUCH of it DOES NOT fall on the black woman. Spend a year in Atlanta and then come back and holla at me.

And I'm not dismissing biblical truth. I've been a follower for years, however truth of the matter is things ARE different in the realm of dating. There was a time women did not ask men out but women do just nowadays. I think you are getting biblical culture confused with biblical teachings.

 

[StarScream35]

yeah you can keep it real but let's be real about the fact that you getting laid is not on God's priority list. And He's not going to send you some sorry man so you can do so. You should be thankful that He loves you so much that He is protecting you from foolishness.

True BUT lets keep it real, God created sex and the desire for it so who are you to say it's NOT on his priority list? He created Eve after he saw how lonely Adam was so...............I'm just saying

 

[Poohbear]

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 & 1 Corinthians 7:1-2​

"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."


Thanks for the explanation, but the bible does indeed instruct us to marry to avoid fornication. And, once you get married- it's no longer fornication, it's adultery. I know it's taboo and all, but SEX was designed for a purpose and it was designed for married folks to have.

I was going to post and explain verse 2. I believe you are reading it incorrectly.

This verse is still not saying to marry to avoid fornication.

It's saying to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband.

There is a difference. Verse 2 means a man and woman shall have "no one else" and should "only have each other". If a man and woman is going to get married, they must not fornicate, cheat, or commit adultery.

 

[Guitarhero]

It's obvious from comments in this thread alone that they are viewing it as a holy. I'm not incapable of recognizing this.

But I am laughing at your pathetic attempts to make it seem I have a horrid aversion to sex or marriage. I just don't believe in focusing on sex until you are beside yourself and frustrated with a lack of a husband. If you can't understand that, then you have a problem. it always cracks me up how people try to make it seem like you hate sex just because you aren't an advocate for screwing around or you believe people should have some self control.

No, you are incapable of recognizing where someone's heart is when you make false judgments about how they view sex.

But anyway, I view sex in marriage and conception as a holy act. It all depends upon your church and its teaching....or non-church and your interpretation etc. cuz not everyone attends "church" in a traditional building/organization.

I comprehend people making themselves sick for lack of a husband and agree it's harmful. However, tou seem to on for those who are following their innate humanity, desiring the formation of family. What's up with that? You don't have to marry...that's obvious, isn't it?

 

[Guitarhero]

True BUT lets keep it real, God created sex and the desire for it so who are you to say it's NOT on his priority list? He created Eve after he saw how lonely Adam was so...............I'm just saying

Praise the L-rd for sex...it's wonderful lolol! Of course, I'm a near addict...

 

[Laela]

Christian marriages are falling apart in large part, because people are CHOOSING to run away from their development! Marriage is a lifelong commitment and challenges the very core of self...a refinemenet process I believe will help us truly reflect the image of God. I also believe one can achieve this level in singlehood by the power of the Holy Spirit if that is their choice..God will gift that person with the ability to not sin against Him,

Don't fool yourself into believing sex is JUST physical. That's one of the biggest lies the devil ever told. Amein~

@Ladybelle

But people are still fornicating during marriages today... So many stories of cheating husbands and wives.

The Bible does not tell us to marry to avoid fornicating. The Bible actually says this:

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I.

9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

In verse 8, Paul is actually instructing the unmarried and widows to "abide" meaning to stay in that state of being unmarried like he is doing himself.

In verse 9, the word "burn" does not mean "fornicate". It just means if the unmarried and widows cannot stand being unmarried for long, it's better for them to marry.

By the way, this is the King James Version and I know other versions may use different words but I believe that KJV is the most accurate translation.

 

[Laela]

I see and understand what you mean...there are other ways to avoid fornication, abstinence is one.

I was going to post and explain verse 2. I believe you are reading it incorrectly.

This verse is still not saying to marry to avoid fornication.

It's saying to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife and every woman have her own husband.

There is a difference. Verse 2 means a man and woman shall have "no one else" and should "only have each other". If a man and woman is going to get married, they must not fornicate, cheat, or commit adultery.