? I would die!! I would also die if they said I couldn't wear my weaves, wigs and phony ponie!I'll bite...
I've been wearing sew-ins back to back since Nov '07 to grow my hair out. One of the reasons I did it was in an effort to give my edges a break b/c I've been wearing braids for years...and also when I have my natural hair out I was pulling it back with a panty hose. I figured this would be less stress on my edges and also prevent me from my constant trims.
Ummmm I dont need rehab. My first 2 installs were sl curly, my 3rd was an angled bob and the last two have been straight almost apl. My goal is bsl but 1. I dont want to pay for 12-14" of hair and 2. I'm just not ready to deal w/ all that hair yet, esp. if it's not mine. My hair is presently apl but I'm not going to cut, color, or straighten it to achieve any of the looks that I've had over the last 9 mos. I'll see where I'm at when I hit 13 mos on my bday...but to be honest this has been expensive and I have a lot of complaints from people missing my natural hair. So I dont know about doing this for yrs on end. It's done it's job and after another install I'll be over it. I miss messing in my hair.
I've rocked my natural from 10th grade onward, prob one the most difficult times as far as peer pressure is concerned. Didn't care then dont care now. So I dont have a phobia of wearing it or some dysmorphia thinking that it's ugly. I have a goal and I'm reaching it.It's my hair...I spent $200 on it. pls and thnks.
ITA, I am a "to each his own" person as well. However, when my friend came to my home unhappy and crying that she can't do a damn thing with her hair and actually has to cut her hair and the weave out because of a bad weaver then yes I make it my business. I was so frustrated because I was trying to give her tips on how to keep her hair moisturized. And she fought me every step of the way because I have a looser curl pattern than she and she just kept saying we have different hair. I tried to tell her it didn't matter. I also felt guilty because I am happy with my hair except my fear of trimming and impatience with aquiring my hair goal.
Oh, and then there is my sis-in law, Lawd! She still uses the "good hair" term.She used to wear weaves and wigs. I think I helped her a little. She said that because of her type of hair it would not grow past her shoulders. I asked her how often she cut it and of course every month she gets a trim. I told her that if she wanted longer hair cutting it isn't the way to do it.
Maybe I just needed to vent.
. I believe that you are attempting to dissociate one hair care practice from another when they're both deeply entrenched within the psyche of blacks. I.e. the result of having bad hair that can't grow ---->leads to relying on weaves to get the "good hair" that you don't naturally have 
UNBEWEAVABLE!
Are you saying that all women who wear weave are protective styling? Come on now. The creation of weave was not to protective style it was to add length where there was none. And I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with those that have problems with their natural hair and are using weave to avoid "dealing" with their natural hair. In my strange way I want to help by disscussing this topic. YET AGAIN!Bear with me as I am still considered a newbie.
I thought that was part of this forums goal, to help each other?
On this site yes I will agree that many of the women here are very intelligent and know how to turn something that was meant to add instant length into a hair growing aid. I honestly believe that for many, weave has become a lifestyle like the saggy baggy bottom boys you see walking down the street.Don't get me started, that's another thread ........
You may be offended and I don't blame you as we black women tend to be easily offended when it comes to hair matters. I have no interest in any stars but I thank you just the same for offering it.
@ Snarky
yeah i thought the same thing too when i had a weave. now im like i was tripping. yep. im not offended but i certainly feel the original post is over the top, unnecessary, and maybe even childishly insecure. imo, sew ins are the BEST protective style, bar none. now what if someone only wears weave for a protective style and youre telling them "do you think you need therapy"... uh yeah... bit much...
i think this is it in a nutshell. she's condemning a protective style option on a board where most women achieve their hair goals thru some sort of PS, as well as talking about women IRL who wear WL blonde weaves cause their real hair is brown and ear length and will stay that way till they take better care of what they were given. or at least i assume this.If other people want to wear it for whatever reason, that's them. I have NO opinion what so ever as far as that goes, and If I did I wouldn't post it here anyways...(because real life and long hair care forum life are two totally different things!!)
me tooI used to wear them when I had given up on my hair and didn't know how to really take care of it. Now that its thriving, I have absoultely no reason to go back to them - I LOVE my own hair even though it's not as long as I want it to be right now. I think the forum has given me a new found respect and adoration for my hair that *I* never had when *I* wore weaves.
one, not a person in here said ALL women use weaves as protective styles...two, i dont think the word "avoid" is proper; more than likely they are not trying to AVOID their real hair but one of two things is going on:UNBEWEAVABLE!
Are you saying that all women who wear weave are protective styling? Come on now. The creation of weave was not to protective style it was to add length where there was none. And I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with those that have problems with their natural hair and are using weave to avoid "dealing" with their natural hair. In my strange way I want to help by disscussing this topic. YET AGAIN!
Fast foward 2 years, and her hair is draping and it has surpassed me. So I don't talk about anyone. My mother, who has WL hair, alwayssssssssssssssss wears a wig. I mean she has worn it for years strait. They don't overly obsess about hair care like I do on these boards, the really keep it simple. I just sit there with my foot in my mouth, when they are around their houses combing out their long hairerplexed. So, I don't talk about anyone. Sorry, just do you! Now, I am off to get some braids.
Now, I am off to get some braids.
good post!Look, I used to talk about my sister having a weave addiction and how much she didn't love herself, and yaddy, yaddy, ya! I mean, I was really talking about her.
You always (not really, just once) think people are posting in jest. You were (mostly) right in my case, but this post sounds way too snarky IMO. But what do I knowLOL @ the ppl who just came in here to tell the OP off...
Wait a minute---am I the only one who thought this topic was to be taken in 'jest'?
I mean how could the OP be serious and expect soemone to discuss the issue with her?
Weave=Dependancy=Rehab...? Sounds like a joke to me.
Well....maybe it's just because I'm in a silly mood.
OP, ma'am, if you were serious...>>smirk<<...uhh, 'catch more flies with honey..."
HONEY.
You know what I mean?
You need to work on your 'ppl skills'.
LOL...ppl are a trip.
Well--I'm moving on to a more 'pleasant' atmosphere.
Negativity makes my nerves bad.
But ya'll...
How ya'll gon get riled up behind what someone said on a MESSAGE BOARD...? You knew you were gon get upset before you clicked on the dern link. I know you can't resist...but I bet some of ya'll prolly got flip with or told the ***** (or some other *****) about herself in one of the last 3 weave posts.
I know it. LOL
Ppl will think as they will.
The way I look at it: If a person can't put their perceptions into perspective---and instead chooses to force their own version of reality on everybody, by making broad sweeping and ridiculous generalizations about people they don't even know---then what else is to be said about them.....?
....OTHER than the fact that they're entirely too stupid to be taken seriously in the first place...?
....and whyyyyy would you exert energy on an obvious half-wit?
Shoot--ignore this thread.
She's either trollin about or a very abrasive individual.
Why keep feeding the monster?
UNBEWEAVABLE!
Are you saying that all women who wear weave are protective styling? Come on now. The creation of weave was not to protective style it was to add length where there was none. And I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with those that have problems with their natural hair and are using weave to avoid "dealing" with their natural hair. In my strange way I want to help by disscussing this topic. YET AGAIN!
eXCELLENT POST
Seriously though, OP you should consider where you are posting concerning such a thing because women on this forum (maybe not always women in real life, but I can say these women here) use weave and reap amazing benefits. I even grew my hair from could barely fit into a ponytail to full shoulder length with a weave, and then once it hit there, I stopped wearing weave, and it stayed there for months until I found LHCF.
If you are just being funny, okay cool, but think about how the women who wear weaves must feel reading that. Like you are looking down on them saying they are tacky etc. What's your favorite hairstyle that gives you good results? Just replace the word 'weave' with whatever that style is that you like into your post and try to be empathetic. It's not nice and we really don't need that kind of attitude around here. It's not progressive, and we are all here trying to move forward to goals of healthy/long hair.
I can say, you probably weren't intending to be mean, but just...think before you post, and when people call you out on it, don't be wrong and strong. There is no need to be snappy and hold on to your pride when you hurt some one else, intentionally or unintentionally. Just own up and keep it moving.
Seriously though, OP you should consider where you are posting concerning such a thing because women on this forum (maybe not always women in real life, but I can say these women here) use weave and reap amazing benefits. I even grew my hair from could barely fit into a ponytail to full shoulder length with a weave, and then once it hit there, I stopped wearing weave, and it stayed there for months until I found LHCF.
If you are just being funny, okay cool, but think about how the women who wear weaves must feel reading that. Like you are looking down on them saying they are tacky etc. What's your favorite hairstyle that gives you good results? Just replace the word 'weave' with whatever that style is that you like into your post and try to be empathetic. It's not nice and we really don't need that kind of attitude around here. It's not progressive, and we are all here trying to move forward to goals of healthy/long hair.
I can say, you probably weren't intending to be mean, but just...think before you post, and when people call you out on it, don't be wrong and strong. There is no need to be snappy and hold on to your pride when you hurt some one else, intentionally or unintentionally. Just own up and keep it moving.
Seriously though, OP you should consider where you are posting concerning such a thing because women on this forum (maybe not always women in real life, but I can say these women here) use weave and reap amazing benefits. I even grew my hair from could barely fit into a ponytail to full shoulder length with a weave, and then once it hit there, I stopped wearing weave, and it stayed there for months until I found LHCF.
If you are just being funny, okay cool, but think about how the women who wear weaves must feel reading that. Like you are looking down on them saying they are tacky etc. What's your favorite hairstyle that gives you good results? Just replace the word 'weave' with whatever that style is that you like into your post and try to be empathetic. It's not nice and we really don't need that kind of attitude around here. It's not progressive, and we are all here trying to move forward to goals of healthy/long hair.
I can say, you probably weren't intending to be mean, but just...think before you post, and when people call you out on it, don't be wrong and strong. There is no need to be snappy and hold on to your pride when you hurt some one else, intentionally or unintentionally. Just own up and keep it moving.
My thread does not actually address the women here. I was actually addressing my niece and other women that I know and have seen. Again I think you feel I am judging you when I am not. Remember, not everyone will hold the same opinions or use the same means to get their ideas across.
I think 'some' women ARE DEPENDANT on weaves. I live in L.A. and I'd say 7out of 10 black women that I see on a daily have a weave. The other 3 need one, or this forum, or somethin. Just like I noticed 9 out of 10 women had relaxers after I went natural. I ain't natural no more so I ain't hatin! I'm just sayin.
Can we talk? I have family members that I've NEVER seen w/o a weave! EVER! Even if they are in between weaves they have a fake ponytail til they get to 'da shop'. I have no idea what their 'real' hair looks like how long, short, thick or thin it is and neither do they. They're not trying to grow their hair out, they're not transitioning, they don't care if they're bald underneath, they don't give a hoot about their hair, they care more about what that weave looks like. I think for people like that, it's a problem and strange to me cause I've never been dependant like that.
I've worn a weave maybe 3 times years ago strictly FOR LENGTH when I had short hair and off and on for protective styling after I had longer hair. People I know now ask me why I would have a weave cause they know I have hair and my weaves are ALWAYS shorter than my real hair. They have no clue about protective styling or having a weave for styling options. To them a weave is to get hair you don't have, period. I doubt the people I know are the minority.
eta: lol @ the poll results
HOLY RAGGEGTY TRACKS BATMAN! That's what I'm sayin'. Pulling out my counselors hat. Do you think this dependence gives way to a deeper issue? Like self acceptance?
I have considered the Anita Baker/Nia Long/Halle Berri/Toni Braxton hair cut but I don't want a permanent short cut.I secretely want short hair for a week.
Go on and cut that hair if it's what you want.
*deeeeep siiiigh* It's so easy for this kind of talk to go the same way as the natural vs relaxed debate and I don't want to sound judgemental or hypocritical cause I'm not. But in the end, I think it has everything, ok ALOT to do with self acceptance for SOME people. ALOT of people. Alot of SERIAL weavers. I'm positive it's that way for the people I know and speak of. But I think it's because most black women have NO IDEA how to care for their own hair, I know I didn't. They want what they don't have and have no idea they CAN have it! I know I didn't. It's like they look at it as something unattainable. I know I did. I never thought I'd have the hair I could weave on my head, now I pull old tracks out of the closet and my hair is longer than the tracks I wore and I
I cut off shoulder length hair and had a twa for YEARS. I LOVED it. Then something amazing happened, it grew back
