Single Christian Women's Support Thread
- Thread starter Natural Love
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nubiennze
Well-Known Member
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
2013 is the year of engagements and marriage for this forum. I look forward to hearing more stories!
I receive that
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
I totally understand the longing for a godly, Christ-centered marriage. About 3 years ago, I was at my highest point of discouragement about ever meeting a godly and compatible man. I had just suffered a huge professional disappointment that had landed me into one of the "worst cities for singles". Prospects IRL were abysmal. Online dating was horrible. After a few weeks, all eligible, half-decent matches dried up. It was rough. And the matches that I interacted with and met...You know that feeling of "being too much" and "not enough" at the same time?
Anyway, this situation went on for about a year. I settled down into the city, made friends, joined meetups and activity groups, got involved with ministry, small group, etc, and kept living. Also, I kept one of my online accounts open for the occasional biweekly half-decent dating prospect.
And then, one day, I was matched with the man that I'll be marrying in 7 weeks! From my perspective, he was just random match #(insert number in the 500's) from a small town 2 hours away (I had widened my search area to increase my odds). BUT, as I would later learn from him, I was match #1. DF had just moved from the opposite coast to "random small town in the middle of nowhere" after a rather bold decision to re-orient his career. Against all odds, he had refused a very nice job offer from Google to instead accept a position in town in the middle of nowhere.
We interacted by email for a week, after which he asked to speak over the phone, and during our first phone conversation (on a Saturday afternoon), he asked whether he could come visit me the next afternoon after church. We met, enjoyed each other's company, and then went from there.
Looking back, I now understand that all my years of worrying over my singleness were for nothing. We tend to see things as a "me" issue. It takes two to make a couple. Your singleness may not be a "you" issue, but rather also a "him" issue. While I was worrying impatiently, DF was working for the government, living on the opposite coast, and unable to meet and date me.
God knows exactly how to bring all the components of His plan together, at exactly the right time.
Congratulations kikigirl! So much wisdom in your post.
God already knows the timeline so might as well just chill. I know, easier said than done.
You never know what the reason is for the delay. Here your man was getting his career together so he could be an awesome provider. For someone else, the man might need to develop his walk with God so he can hear Him more clearly about you. I think this is why we should pray for our future spouses because if you are called to marry and he's "out there" your prayers can avail much in his life. Sometimes, when I get frustrated, I start to pray for him. In that moment, we're connected on a spiritual level.
God bless your engagement and marriage!
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
*Coming out of lurking mode*
Sorry to drop in on you ladies, but I feel led to share some encouragement tonight. Abba has His children's lives in His hands!!! He knows what He has planned for each of us.
I totally understand the longing for a godly, Christ-centered marriage. About 3 years ago, I was at my highest point of discouragement about ever meeting a godly and compatible man. I had just suffered a huge professional disappointment that had landed me into one of the "worst cities for singles"
Anyway, this situation went on for about a year. I settled down into the city, made friends, joined meetups and activity groups, got involved with ministry, small group, etc, and kept living. Also, I kept one of my online accounts open for the occasional biweekly half-decent dating prospect.
And then, one day, I was matched with the man that I'll be marrying in 7 weeks! From my perspective, he was just random match #(insert number in the 500's) from a small town 2 hours away (I had widened my search area to increase my odds). BUT, as I would later learn from him, I was match #1. DF had just moved from the opposite coast to "random small town in the middle of nowhere" after a rather bold decision to re-orient his career. Against all odds, he had refused a very nice job offer from Google to instead accept a position in town in the middle of nowhere.
We interacted by email for a week, after which he asked to speak over the phone, and during our first phone conversation (on a Saturday afternoon), he asked whether he could come visit me the next afternoon after church. We met, enjoyed each other's company, and then went from there.
Looking back, I now understand that all my years of worrying over my singleness were for nothing. We tend to see things as a "me" issue. It takes two to make a couple. Your singleness may not be a "you" issue, but rather also a "him" issue. While I was worrying impatiently, DF was working for the government, living on the opposite coast, and unable to meet and date me.
God knows exactly how to bring all the components of His plan together, at exactly the right time.
YAAAS!! Congratulations, kikigirl! I feel more forum stories coming this year.
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
"No one is perfect, we are all broken somewhere.
A key is broken in all the right places to fit a certain lock. When that key is placed in that lock, there is a quiet click. When we meet a person who is broken in the right places to accommodate our brokenness, there is a click." T.D. Jakes
A key is broken in all the right places to fit a certain lock. When that key is placed in that lock, there is a quiet click. When we meet a person who is broken in the right places to accommodate our brokenness, there is a click." T.D. Jakes
stephluv
Well-Known Member
God already knows the timeline so might as well just chill. I know, easier said than done.
I think this is why we should pray for our future spouses because if you are called to marry and he's "out there" your prayers can avail much in his life. Sometimes, when I get frustrated, I start to pray for him. In that moment, we're connected on a spiritual level.
@kikigirl- Congratulations and thank you for the encouraging testimony!
Belle Du Jour- I totally agree and have been praying! I consider this the time that God is preparing me for him
LoveisYou- love the quote so Thanks for posting....its sooo true!
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
VelvetRain
Well-Known Member
I've contacted mods regarding your harassing pm's cyrealla. Let it go and move on.
pebbles
New Member
The nonsense being played out in this thread stops now!
If you don't go to church, you probably shouldn't be posting here. The drama isn't welcomed. If this continues, members involved in the back and forth will be banned. The Christian Forum isn't the place for foolish bickering. And please be reminded that the pm system of this forum is NOT a tool to be used to harass anyone.
Please consider this my final warning. I won't be contacting anyone after this. You'll just find yourself banned from this forum permanently.
My deepest apologies to those not involved.
If you don't go to church, you probably shouldn't be posting here. The drama isn't welcomed. If this continues, members involved in the back and forth will be banned. The Christian Forum isn't the place for foolish bickering. And please be reminded that the pm system of this forum is NOT a tool to be used to harass anyone.
Please consider this my final warning. I won't be contacting anyone after this. You'll just find yourself banned from this forum permanently.
My deepest apologies to those not involved.
stephluv
Well-Known Member
So I prayed for a veil to be put on me so my future husband can see me but I think I need to be more specific lol I have interested males but i'm not interested in them......my friends are saying i'm being picky but i dont think I am I just havent seen anything I like so far...i just joined wifey material (girlfriends pray) and their was a key thing that stood out to me...i'm going to have a long chat with God about what I am "attracting"...its either I need to let up or re-evaluate myself
Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
stephluv
Well-Known Member
Highly Favored8- yay!!
I really enjoyed the first lesson I was on the call but wasnt by a computer since I was at the salon lol Already i'm learning so much about myself...i'm not dating but I would like to be prepared when the time is right
Maracujá
November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Time for me to be single for real and stop the mental clutter. Physically I've been single for nearly seven years but mentally...no purity in sight. I clog my mind thinking about my ex and every attractive man I see I have fantasies about us potentially being together. Time to end it here.
Renewed1
Well-Known Member
Maracujá ur not the only one. One of my friends said she was watching a matchmaker show. The matchmaker said "it's not only important to be physically single; but you must be single in your mind as well."
Blew me away! I haven't been mentally single since I physically broke up with my last boyfriend.
It takes time. What I do when these thoughts arise is pray for my future hubby. Although more often than not I rather entertain my thoughts.
Father of the bride make the best speech ever (get your tissues out)
http://www.godvine.com/Father-of-the-Bride-Gives-the-Most-Touching-Speech-Ever-2831.html
God is preparing us and our future spouses for each other ladies!
http://www.godvine.com/Father-of-the-Bride-Gives-the-Most-Touching-Speech-Ever-2831.html
God is preparing us and our future spouses for each other ladies!
EbonyTresses
Member
Wow mentally single. I never thought about it that way before, but it is so true.
Incognitus
Well-Known Member
Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
1 Peter 3:1-5
Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over by their wives' conduct and when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves and were subordinate to their husbands.
I love this passage of scripture. It is chock full with wisdom on how holy women of God attract husbands. Peter talks about the things that a man of God can't help but be won over by:
-reverent behavior
-chaste behavior
-hidden ("a woman should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek God to find her")
-gentle and calm disposition (anxious for nothing, including a husband, and knowing that her needs are taken care of)
-holiness like our mothers in the faith (Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Esther, Ruth to name a few and of course Mary who fully submitted to the will of God and became the embodiment what it meant to be a handmaid of the Lord)
Now, the world tells us something completely different:
-pursue him and ask him out
-always be available
-sleep with him
-use your physical appearance and body to attract him
-pride over humility and servitude
The juxtaposition is so stark. One pathway may lead to an active social life, filled with temporal pleasures but likely end in heartbreak. The other path is narrow and hidden away, leads to a deeper relationship with God, built on faith and complete trust, that attracts the right person (not several random suitors) and leads to life.
Likewise, you wives should be subordinate to your husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over by their wives' conduct and when they observe your reverent and chaste behavior. Your adornment should not be an external one: braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or dressing in fine clothes, but rather the hidden character of the heart, expressed in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and calm disposition, which is precious in the sight of God. For this is also how the holy women who hoped in God once used to adorn themselves and were subordinate to their husbands.
I love this passage of scripture. It is chock full with wisdom on how holy women of God attract husbands. Peter talks about the things that a man of God can't help but be won over by:
-reverent behavior
-chaste behavior
-hidden ("a woman should be so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek God to find her")
-gentle and calm disposition (anxious for nothing, including a husband, and knowing that her needs are taken care of)
-holiness like our mothers in the faith (Sarah, Rebekah, Hannah, Esther, Ruth to name a few and of course Mary who fully submitted to the will of God and became the embodiment what it meant to be a handmaid of the Lord)
Now, the world tells us something completely different:
-pursue him and ask him out
-always be available
-sleep with him
-use your physical appearance and body to attract him
-pride over humility and servitude
The juxtaposition is so stark. One pathway may lead to an active social life, filled with temporal pleasures but likely end in heartbreak. The other path is narrow and hidden away, leads to a deeper relationship with God, built on faith and complete trust, that attracts the right person (not several random suitors) and leads to life.
Belle Du Jour, thank you GREAT reminder
I wish I could broadcast this for the whole forum (the whole world, even) to see.Similar threads
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