A question about abstinence....

[curlytwirly06]

Hello ladies, I have a question to ask you all. The question I'm asking is for my sister who is 23 and about to be married. She dated her now fiance for 3.5 years and they were friends with each other for two years before that. the two of them are the type of couple that watching them makes you feel like you've eaten a spoonful of sugar, lol. I am very happy for her. They are both virgins and have managed to stay that way all throughout their relationship. In the middle of finalizing wedding details she dropped that the two of them have become more intimate leading up to their wedding. She did not go into detail with me but I have an idea. I dont know if I should say anything to her. I mean they are engaged and going to be married in 1 month, they are not having sex and for all purposes are bonded to each other. They pretty much function as husband and wife excluding the sexual part. What about attraction? How does it play out in this scenario? I was kind of stumped for a reply. Should I say something to her or let the Lord handle it? Is there anything to say at all? What would you do? Please forgive my immaturity on the subject.

 

[JudithO]

Hello ladies, I have a question to ask you all. The question I'm asking is for my sister who is 23 and about to be married. She dated her now fiance for 3.5 years and they were friends with each other for two years before that. the two of them are the type of couple that watching them makes you feel like you've eaten a spoonful of sugar, lol. I am very happy for her. They are both virgins and have managed to stay that way all throughout their relationship. In the middle of finalizing wedding details she dropped that the two of them have become more intimate leading up to their wedding. She did not go into detail with me but I have an idea. I dont know if I should say anything to her. I mean they are engaged and going to be married in 1 month, they are not having sex and for all purposes are bonded to each other. They pretty much function as husband and wife excluding the sexual part. What about attraction? How does it play out in this scenario? I was kind of stumped for a reply. Should I say something to her or let the Lord handle it? Is there anything to say at all? What would you do? Please forgive my immaturity on the subject.

Let the Lord handle it.

 

[nlamr2013]

I don't think I understand what you are asking. If you think your sis is making an error it is your job to be open and honest about how you feel. Approach her in love without judgment especially since she came to you.

 

[curlytwirly06]

I don't think I understand what you are asking. If you think your sis is making an error it is your job to be open and honest about how you feel. Approach her in love without judgment especially since she came to you.

I was asking how to feel on the topic. I was not sure there was anything to talk to her about. I did not get a bad feeling. I did not get any feeling at all. I was just asking to "check my thinking" if you get my drift. I honestly did not feel compelled to tell her anything. I was thinking about it after I left her place and was wondering if I should have said anything or if there was anything to say. They don't live together ( though they have a place together) , they are not having sex, they are engaged and leading up to their actual wedding have gotten more and more intimate with each other. She says it usually starts when she feels the joy of her impending marriage and how happy and thankful she is to god and her fiance' for her life and thinks about how much she loves him. She says she just feels so passionate and wants to feel/ show her love.

 

[Shimmie]

I was asking how to feel on the topic. I was not sure there was anything to talk to her about. I did not get a bad feeling. I did not get any feeling at all. I was just asking to "check my thinking" if you get my drift. I honestly did not feel compelled to tell her anything.

I was thinking about it after I left her place and was wondering if I should have said anything or if there was anything to say.

They don't live together ( though they have a place together) , they are not having sex, they are engaged and leading up to their actual wedding have gotten more and more intimate with each other.

She says it usually starts when she feels the joy of her impending marriage and how happy and thankful she is to god and her fiance' for her life and thinks about how much she loves him. She says she just feels so passionate and wants to feel/ show her love.

curlytwirly06...

You have the soft conviction of the Holy Spirit going on in your spirit because you care about your sister and want only God's best for her.

In all of the excitement of her Wedding Day (and Night), her hormones are no doubt having a party. It's not uncommon for satan to come in and tempt and justify and validate, a soon to be married couple's temptation to take a bite of the 'forbidden fruit'.

Tell your sister not to give up her 'Virtue' until the ring is on her finger.

No Wed, No Bed... No contract, No contact.

They don't need the guilt or the conviction which is sure to follow as they stand before God reciting their vows.

Tell your sister, otherwise. You will not be at peace until you do.

Look at your post that I quoted above... Look what stands out. From all that you've shared about this, look what keeps standing out. A man and woman do not have to live together or sleep together for sex to be occurring. Even if it's foreplay. What she's giving up is her true 'first time'. Once it done, it's done. You cannot unscramble eggs.

You already know what to do.

Tell your sister... She'll listen. You're saving her Virtue and the treasure of her Wedding Night...her very first time, with him.

Tell your sister...

 

[Farida]

There's more to abstinence than virginity. It also reflects discipline, submission and respect for God and each other. God does not honor his commitments to us by saying, "I gave you almost all of what I promised..." Why should we treat him Him any different?

Yes, the wedding is getting close, but I think they will feel even better if they honor the commitment all the way. Plus, a lot can happen in one month. It is not likely and I hope for the best but a lot of things can happen in a month. Oh and not to forget pregnancy. A lot of abstinent couples end up having sex without B.C because they did not prepare for the event. She may not be ready to have a kid so early in the marriage.