Black hair (love/hate) Spin-off

Ms_Twana

New Member
Reading this just made me think of my blog entry on myspace. I just thought I would share it with you ladies. Mods, I wasn't sure if this should go in off topic or not. So if it belongs there, feel free to move it. :D


Sunday, January 07, 2007

Blacks hair and self image
Current mood:
aggravated
This is something that definitely needs to be addressed. I am newly natural. I joined a hair board and started seeing different perspectives on hair. I have been relaxed most of my life. My mom pressed my hair when I was younger. When she couldn't handle pressing anymore, she got me a relaxer. So, that is what I continued just because. I had never even THOUGHT of letting my relaxer grow out. And when I did start thinking about it, I thought, "Oh, my hair is too nappy for that." I mean, come on. I had a relaxer all of my life. My mom relaxed my hair when I was a young girl. So my hair HAD to be nappy right?? WRONG!!! The fact of the matter was that my mom didn't know how to properly care for my hair. Hell, she's 54 now and she still can't care for her own hair.
So, I decided I would attempt to transition and see what was really under all this relaxed hair. And I was suprised to feel and see lots of coils. Who would have thought my hair could do that. I transitioned for about 5 1/2 months, then I just chopped it all off. And here is where the title of this blog comes in. (I know you were wondering when I was going to get to the point!! LOL)
First of all, when I told people I wanted to go natural, their first response was, "WHY?" Then, once I actually did it, I was "getting back to my roots." What the H#$& does that mean???? Why is it that women who go natural, or people who wear locs are seen as Afrocentric?? I mean, we wear our skin color, our wide noses, our large lips, our wide hips, and our large butts everyday. All of those are good enough to sport and be proud of. So, why is it that our hair is NOT good enough?? When are we as black people going to stop seeing the hair texture that GOD gave us, as "bad" and not good enough?? Or why is it that if you DO go natural, you have to have "good" hair?? Which there is NO such thing. People just have different textures, and different sized curls. (I just changed my opinion on this by the way.)
I mean, to each it's own, definitely. And if you chose to relax your hair, or press it every two weeks. That's your thing. But, my question to you is, what is your REAL reason for doing that?? Is it because it's easier to manage?? I hope not because natural hair is managable too. Is it because that's what society thinks we should do?? I hope not because society also thinks that a 5'3" female should weigh 120 lbs., and I know darn well that's not cute on me. Is it because that's just what you're used to doing?? That's what it was for me. Or is it that you're actually ashamed to show what God gave you because you are worried about what others will say??? And if that's the answer, you already know what my response is going to be to you!!! When straight haired white women get perms, it's because they just want something different. They want a new look. It's not because they don't want people to see their naturally straight hair. And for some reason, we do the opposite.
What I'm saying is, STOP BEING ASHAMED!!!! You're black everyone knows black people don't have STRAIGHT hair. And if you decide to continue to straighten your hair, just make sure it's for the right reasons. When I chose to color my hair, it was because I wanted something different. Not because I was ashamed of my hair color.
Well, I hope that I may have AT LEAST made some people think. I'm not saying I want every black women to go out and let their relaxer grow out. I just want us to stop thinking that European American traits are more appealing. We had tons of other generations of young black girls coming up after us. I just don't want them to have the same feelings as our ancestors that burned their heads with lye because the wanted their hair "straight like the white folks."
And if you haven't already, check out this article and video "A Girl Like Me." It's a real eye opener.
http://www.schoollibraryjournal.com/blog/620000062/post/1250004125.html


1:20 PM - 7 Comments - 8 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
 

Priss Pot

Makeup + Bench Pressing
You go, soror!!! Tell 'em how you feel.

Sometimes when I tell people that I'm going natural, they assume that I'm never gonna comb my hair, and I'm gonna let it grow "naturally" into those types of dreadlocks that "just happen," ones that you don't retwist or maintain.
 

lsubabiedee

New Member
You could yell that at the top of your lungs, and people still wouldn't hear you. I honestly think that nappy hair will be vilified forever. I hate to think that, but it seems that we are not progressing in that area.

It's always refreshing to see that someone else loves their naps too though.
 

Poetrygirl

New Member
I agree, wearing a natural does not mean you are trying to be afro-centric or pro-black as many call it. I just don't understand that if naturals can be natural and are not trying to be afro-centric, then why are ladies who relax their hair being told that they are trying to be white? Again I don't see the big deal. Just be you, your hair is an extension of you, a small part of what makes you, you. It should not determine what type of person you are.
 

Ms_Twana

New Member
Poetrygirl said:
I agree, wearing a natural does not mean you are trying to be afro-centric or pro-black as many call it. I just don't understand that if naturals can be natural and are not trying to be afro-centric, then why are ladies who relax their hair being told that they are trying to be white? Again I don't see the big deal. Just be you, your hair is an extension of you, a small part of what makes you, you. It should not determine what type of person you are.

Oh ITA!!! I totally believe in what ever works for you. I just hate to hear all of the self hate. I hate to hear people say, "Oh you can go natural with your kind of hair. I couldn't do that. My hair is too nappy." I just hate knowing that ladies are getting a relaxer because they are ashamed of what's REALLY there. And I just want natural black hair textures to be just as accepted as relaxed hair.
 

Blackoutzangel05

New Member
I love this thread! I am a transitioner and have heard a lot of comments lately. I have nice sized curls that blend my new growth and relaxed hair quite nicely, however my fiancee doesn't want me to call it "going natural" just "not getting a perm"...what the heck is the difference..Now don't get me wrong he supports me 100% but when he hears natural he believes that they are unkept nappy heads and I had to sit him down and show him all the lovely ladies that I have met thru fotki for him to get it. My mother is another one that makes comments "you need to get you hair done" " why are you washing your hair again" when my hair is straight "my gracious you look like you again" who the hell did I look like before!?!?!
I am all about maintaining healthy hair no matter if you relax it or are natural. I believe with my whole heart that there are plenty of people that have healthy relaxed hair and because I believed this I have found it hard to visit some natural sites. I have found that some naturals believe that they are better than woman who are relaxed, like they have the key to the black kingdom and relaxed women aren't getting in. That is why I love this board because the goal is to have healthy long hair, no matter how you get there...its very inspirational here...
 

cocosweet

Well-Known Member
Blackoutzangel05 said:
I have found that some naturals believe that they are better than woman who are relaxed, like they have the key to the black kingdom and relaxed women aren't getting in. That is why I love this board because the goal is to have healthy long hair, no matter how you get there...its very inspirational here...
Ok, I had this image of the Goddess of Blackness (who in my head looks like Toni Morrison) standing at the gates and going "access denied":lol: to those with relaxed hair. But seriously, I've been natural for about 11 years and it ain't that serious for me. Healthy Black hair takes effort period. The "nappier than thou" attitude shows up as a defense mechanism because just about everybody around you calling a part of your being undesirable. Straightening one's hair isn't nessarily about self hatred (shoot, I did it last week just because) but a lot of the time it is. Ok, done rambling now.
 

Crackers Phinn

Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Honestly, relaxed hair doesn't bother me at all. Even though I have a pretty tight regimen that takes my own hair from point A to B, sometimes when I deal with my hair I can't be mad at folks who can just glide a comb or brush easily through their hair and call it a day.

So for arguments sake, given the tools, products and salon services available that cater to straight hair, I understand why perming is easier for people.
Now what bothers me is weave. It's for more philosophical than aesthetic reasons. I know that black women can grow their hair if they take care of it whether relaxed or natural. But weave and wigs are being used as a substitute for hair care and is creating a dependency that I find shocking and scary. Weave is 'hair welfare' and once you get on the system, good luck getting off. Right now we are raising, the first generation of black girls that are entering elementary school wearing somebody else's hair - to help their self esteem. *********.:ohwell:
 

bLackButtaFly

Well-Known Member
Poetrygirl said:
I agree, wearing a natural does not mean you are trying to be afro-centric or pro-black as many call it. I just don't understand that if naturals can be natural and are not trying to be afro-centric, then why are ladies who relax their hair being told that they are trying to be white? Again I don't see the big deal. Just be you, your hair is an extension of you, a small part of what makes you, you. It should not determine what type of person you are.

I completely agree. I'm not trying to make some huge statement by being natural. I don't hate on those with relaxers for being relaxed anymore than I would hate on someone without a tattoo for not having a tattoo. It doesn't make sense. If you want your hair straight then do that, if you want curly then wear it curly, just keep it healthy. I just hate the stigma that outside of weaves, and extensions that black women can't have beautiful, thick, full, long hair of their own. I have some people of other races come to me and say they've never seen a black woman with such nice hair that was theirs!:confused: That's so sad. Take care of what you got.
 

seraphim712

Well-Known Member
Personally I love black hair. Straight or curly, natural or relaxed. Afros,braids, cornrolls, dreadlocks just represents who we are. It helps us stand apart from other people as a black race. Truly I think people hatin on black people's hair are just jealous deep down inside because we can wear our hair natural and still look good.

Not trying to throw the race card but...

Have you noticed when the afro was introduced, everyone including white people was trying to rock one? The dreadlocks, I've seen races other than black people wearing them(and believe when I say they look ridiculous). Cornrolls and braids, many asian teens today are wearing them today.

People who hate and constantly complain about something that really has nothing to do with them in truth are jealous and wish that they could do the same thing but can't.

It's great being an influence to the world isn't it?:D :D :D
 
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