Can/Should a Christian woman still be "sexy"?

[Caramela]

The bible tells us that God doesn't focus on our outward appearance, but rather sees our heart, and urges us as women to be modestly dressed. We all know that men are visual creatures - you want to look visually appealing to your husband and you also want to feel feminine and sexy for yourself, so when it comes to your husband, as a Christian woman can you or should you dress sexy? I don't mean trashy or slutty - just sexy. I know that is a subjective term but answer how you take it. What is acceptable for a Christian wife (and even mother) to wear and what's not? Do you think there are times and places for sexiness or that you should be modest at all times?

 

[Shimmie]

The bible tells us that God doesn't focus on our outward appearance, but rather sees our heart, and urges us as women to be modestly dressed. We all know that men are visual creatures - you want to look visually appealing to your husband and you also want to feel feminine and sexy for yourself, so when it comes to your husband, as a Christian woman can you or should you dress sexy? I don't mean trashy or slutty - just sexy. I know that is a subjective term but answer how you take it. What is acceptable for a Christian wife (and even mother) to wear and what's not? Do you think there are times and places for sexiness or that you should be modest at all times?

Of course...and your husband will definitely appreciate it. Why have him look at someone else when God has given him you. Men love to look at women...they LOVE it!

So, dress up for him. Ask him what he likes or what he would like to see you wear just for him. Surprise him. Dance for him, initiate the love and romance with him. Drop you hair and let it flow. He will love it and especially because it's you and no one else. He has all of this at home where it and he belongs and with and neither for no one else. Just you and him and the Lord blessing you.

Read the book of Song of Solomon. It will bless you.

When I'm married, my handsome hubby has a lot in store for him, dances, costumes, pretty nighties, undies that match and hardly cover the works!

Blessings on your marriage angel.

Here are some threads you may remember that I created a while back on Wives and Romance...

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=101971&highlight=Wives

Have fun!

 

[Caramela]

The bible tells us that God doesn't focus on our outward appearance, but rather sees our heart, and urges us as women to be modestly dressed. We all know that men are visual creatures - you want to look visually appealing to your husband and you also want to feel feminine and sexy for yourself, so when it comes to your husband, as a Christian woman can you or should you dress sexy? I don't mean trashy or slutty - just sexy. I know that is a subjective term but answer how you take it. What is acceptable for a Christian wife (and even mother) to wear and what's not? Do you think there are times and places for sexiness or that you should be modest at all times?

 

[Caramela]

I've been 1 starred I guess 1 star is better than none.

 

[gone_fishing]

I've been 1 starred I guess 1 star is better than none.

They probably don't want you to talk about this in the secular forum.

Post it in the CF Forum and I'll answer you. I just don't feel like arguing wiht folks out here in OTF land.

 

[chellero]

I don't think that God cares about what I have on. I make sure that I temper sexiness with elegance and all is well. To answer your question - a Christian woman's dress is between her and her Lord and as long as people don't routinely mistake her for a woman of the night then she's fine.

 

[gone_fishing]

Aww shucks,

I'll answer...

I think you can wear anything you want for your husband while you're in the house. I don't have any biblical scriptures to back that up but if you can get naked in front of him, I don't see why you can't wear the sleaziest outfit you can find to turn him on. Anything you put on will have you more "covered" than naked and I don't see anything wrong with provoking your husband to lust. erplexed

You aren't supposed to provoke men who are NOT your husband to lust.

However, if he is NOT your husband:

God calls women to modesty, which means to not draw attention to themselves: 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

God calls us to purity: 1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

God calls all people to control their thought lives, so as women, we should not cause men to lust: Matthew 5:27-29 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." 1 John 2:16-17 says, "For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

God calls women to discretion. I love this verse! Proverbs 11:22 says, "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Your body is God's. Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."

A christian woman has the responsibility to not put the males around her in a position that they might lust or have impure thoughts (see also Matthew 18:7).

If you dress modestly and a man still lusts after you? You're not responsible for that lust. In this case, the responsibility for impure thoughts lies solely on the man.

 

[Southernbella.]

For your husband, I think anything goes. I personally have my own boundaries (I wouldn't dress up like a schoolgirl, for example), but yall know what I mean.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Christian women ARE sexy!!

 

[poookie]

Christian women ARE sexy!!

i don't know how to feel about that statement, lol


i think Christian women can be sexy... a lot of men relate a woman's sexiness to her confidence level, so if a christian woman exudes self confidence, and carries herself well, that can relate to sexiness.

but i don't think a christian woman should be provocative.

a CW who's sexy, as in, feeling good about yourself, smiling, and being confident is better than a CW in a too-short/too tight something or another... you know?

 

[chellero]

Aww shucks,

I'll answer...

I think you can wear anything you want for your husband while you're in the house. I don't have any biblical scriptures to back that up but if you can get naked in front of him, I don't see why you can't wear the sleaziest outfit you can find to turn him on. Anything you put on will have you more "covered" than naked and I don't see anything wrong with provoking your husband to lust. erplexed

You aren't supposed to provoke men who are NOT your husband to lust.

However, if he is NOT your husband:

God calls women to modesty, which means to not draw attention to themselves: 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says, "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

God calls us to purity: 1 Timothy 4:12 says, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."

God calls all people to control their thought lives, so as women, we should not cause men to lust: Matthew 5:27-29 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." 1 John 2:16-17 says, "For everything in the world-the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does-comes not from the Father but from the world. The world and its desires pass away, but the man who does the will of God lives forever."

God calls women to discretion. I love this verse! Proverbs 11:22 says, "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Your body is God's. Romans 12:1-2 says, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will."

A christian woman has the responsibility to not put the males around her in a position that they might lust or have impure thoughts (see also Matthew 18:7).

If you dress modestly and a man still lusts after you? You're not responsible for that lust. In this case, the responsibility for impure thoughts lies solely on the man.

Slightly OT : How we define modest dress now? It seems that if an outfit, "doesn't draw attention to you" then it doesn't flatter you at all.

 

[Lucie]

I struggle with this. I think I look sexy most times but not scandalous. However, if I am going out to party (I go very seldom ) I am sure I wouldn't want my pastor to see me .

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I think it's about modesty. Men are gonna be find many-a-thing sexy, but as woman if you carry yourself with modesty and dignity then you can dress as you wish. I've worn a nice black dress to my uncle's church(he's the pastor) and he and my aunt told me I looked sexy and gave me a high five, . I carried myself with class and dressed modestly(not tight, not short, not low cut), but I was working that dress.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

i don't know how to feel about that statement, lol


i think Christian women can be sexy... a lot of men relate a woman's sexiness to her confidence level, so if a christian woman exudes self confidence, and carries herself well, that can relate to sexiness.

but i don't think a christian woman should be provocative.

a CW who's sexy, as in, feeling good about yourself, smiling, and being confident is better than a CW in a too-short/too tight something or another... you know?

That was my point exactly. Not in the conventional sense. I didn't mean "slutty" or immodest. I meant, by her very nature...she is sexy.

 

[basketballbabe03]

Yeah I think a Christian woman can be sexy. A lot of people equate sexy with slutty. There's a big difference. You can still dress nice but you don't have to have everything hanging out.

ETA: You could be dressed in something very revealing and still not be sexy. Especially if you're attitude is nasty. Attitude alone can turn a 10 into a 2.

 

[gone_fishing]

Yeah I think a Christian woman can be sexy. A lot of people equate sexy with slutty. There's a big difference. You can still dress nice but you don't have to have everything hanging out.

very true!

 

[chellero]

That was my point exactly. Not in the conventional sense. I didn't mean "slutty" or immodest. I meant, by her very nature...she is sexy.

Most of the Christian women in my church aren't sexy. There's a lot of frumpy clothes, facial hair, ungroomed eyebrows, old lady panty hose on young folks, and crying about how they can't find a man. erplexed I know that I shouldn't be talking about folks, but frumpiness bothers me. I think that some of them are aiming for modest and just end up being frumpy.

 

[dlewis]

I think being sexy is more a state of mind than anything else. I think I'm sexy with a jogging suit on.

 

[glamazon386]

Yes... You can be sexy without putting your parts on display. There's a difference between sexy and slutty.

 

[PaperClip]

Yes, esp. since sexy is relative, meaning that sexiness is in the eye of the beholder.

My Christian husband had better find my sexy and vice versa! Being saved/Christian doesn't dissolve your sex appeal. It does CHECK YOU on WHO gets the benefits of that appeal. Sexual expression belongs within the healthy confines of marriage...as a Christian.

 

[Ms Lala]

Girl yes, I like to be sexy for myself and my hubby. We went to a retreat called a WEekend to Remember together. It is sponsored by a CHristian organization and they covered romance. There is nothing wrong w/sex or being sexy for your husband.

 

[glam-]

Most of the Christian women in my church aren't sexy. There's a lot of frumpy clothes, facial hair, ungroomed eyebrows, old lady panty hose on young folks, and crying about how they can't find a man. erplexed I know that I shouldn't be talking about folks, but frumpiness bothers me. I think that some of them are aiming for modest and just end up being frumpy.

I have seen this a lot.

I don't think being sexy is a sin, but you would think it was by the way some church women try to avoid it. I think you can and should still look nice- and sexy modesty can be hard to define, but its one of those things where you know it when you see it.

 

[daoriginaldiva]

I don't see why not? We're Christians, not nuns *lol*
That shouldn't effect ones belief in God and their preference of religion.
Shoot, I'm sexy but not sluttish...there's a difference!
Sexy could be in your walk, your smile ,your personality or your level of confidence. It doesn't have to be the way you act( unless you are Jessica Rabbit)

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Oh, yes my dear! I'm one sexy mama, let me tell you!

My husband tells me I put some 20 year olds to shame...oh, yes he did!

And I love dressing up for him. He loves it when I get dolled up, just to stay at home....

We share this with our married couples in our classes, for both the men and the women. I love it when my husband dresses up for me....clean shaven, smelling good...ahhh, he makes me turn my head twice, let me tell you girls!

You can wear clothes that fit to your body, just do it modestly.

Good thread!

 

[good2uuuu]

Yes! Just not slutty. There is a BIG difference!

 

[Shimmie]

Girl yes, I like to be sexy for myself and my hubby. We went to a retreat called a WEekend to Remember together. It is sponsored by a CHristian organization and they covered romance. There is nothing wrong w/sex or being sexy for your husband.

"Family Life Today" sponsors these workshops all around the country and they are wonderful.

Here's the link for those interested:

http://www.familylife.com/conferences/find_conference.asp?DCMP=BAC-WTR+Static+RT&ATT=ImageRT

I also listen to their radio show everyday. Bob Lapine and Dennis Rainey are the hosts.

Here's the link to their broadcasts and they can also be heard online.

http://www.familylife.com/fltoday/overview.asp

I love this show; I've listened to it for years. It's clean, it's wholesome, it ministers to families and marriages.

Love and blessings everyone...

 

[Cleve_gryl]

What about us single sistas? I had a 'heated fellowship' with a friend of mine about this. He made a notion that I should spice up the way I dressed so more men would take notice. I totally disagreed. I am conservative in my dress, especially when I attend services. I do not feel I need to push any limits in order for my Man of God to take notice of me.

 

[Caramela]

For the wives who answered, being in the house is one thing, but what about when you go out and your husband is with you, do you dress sexy then? Or do you reserve it only for the house?
And Cleve-gyrl, my suggestion would be to be conservative and modest ESPECIALLY at worship service. You are at worship to worship, not attract a man. If a man's attention would be more focused on you and your assetts than worshipping God and learning more about his word, then he isn't worth your time anyway.

 

[Shimmie]

What about us single sistas? I had a 'heated fellowship' with a friend of mine about this. He made a notion that I should spice up the way I dressed so more men would take notice. I totally disagreed. I am conservative in my dress, especially when I attend services. I do not feel I need to push any limits in order for my Man of God to take notice of me.

Hi Cleve_gryl: I've learned something about men. The more you cover up, the more they take an interest.

However, use your eyes. They speak volumes. No heavy make up is necessary, just your natural beautiful eyes.

I dress very modestly, especially for Church. Even my make-up is very modest.

My hair, is clean smelling, neatly groomed.

My hands, soft, lotioned, and manicured, no long, long nails, that's a turn off for men...most men.

I wear a soft fragrance, not overpowering and I have a soft spirit with brings about a soft smile and soft light in my eyes.

AND all of this gets plenty of attention. For a husband looks for a wife who softly and quietly draws him in and it keeps him there.

The key is prayer and just being beautiful you.

 

[Shimmie]

Oh, yes my dear! I'm one sexy mama, let me tell you!

My husband tells me I put some 20 year olds to shame...oh, yes he did!

And I love dressing up for him. He loves it when I get dolled up, just to stay at home....

We share this with our married couples in our classes, for both the men and the women. I love it when my husband dresses up for me....clean shaven, smelling good...ahhh, he makes me turn my head twice, let me tell you girls!

You can wear clothes that fit to your body, just do it modestly.

Good thread!

I'm coming to your marriage classes....