Proverbs 31 Woman duties/role as a Christian wife?

Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by stephluv, Sep 16, 2013.

  1. luthiengirlie

    luthiengirlie Well-Known Member

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    this thread is BEYOND on time for me.. WHOOP WHOOP.. I am just so shocked.. when i was tagged my spirit said.. I needed this... thank you.. YHWH does all things in proper time :D
     
  2. Blackpearl1993

    Blackpearl1993 Well-Known Member

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    I have already posted way too much, but I felt compelled to add:

    If you are reading books pertaining to marriage and/or motherhood as you prepare for your blessing....just know that it is imperative that the books you read must be written from a Christian perspective. The world holds no wisdom for a child of God in relation to marriage and parenting. I will post some good book titles later, but if you pray and ask God to lead you in this area, He will lead you to the resources you need.
     
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  3. Maracujá

    Maracujá Well-Known Member

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    THIS! The headaches I get from this :nono:
     
  4. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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  5. F8THINHIM

    F8THINHIM Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for the tag @ Stephluv! I am learning so much from reading this great thread. :grin:
    I am still new at this, so I will share what I have so far...

    13. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

    I am personally challenged when it comes to sewing, knitting or things like this. But I found the knifty knitter. :lol: At work, during breaks, lunch and any spare time, I knitted him the thickest, warmest scarf. I presented him with this on a very cold winter day. He was so deeply touched. :yep:

    25. She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.


    Laughter is sooo important. There have been so many stressful situations throughout our time together (family/in-laws/drama). A lot of praying and wise Godly counsel have allowed me to get what I need to keep from telling him about what I really want to say about my in-laws :look:. He knows I would be right, if I chose to go there. But I have learned to handle the situations that bring us (family) together with strength and dignity. We pray together for these times, and laughter (if you look real hard, you can find the humor) has carried us through.

    26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
    I love to read and study. My husband does also. We don't always agree on issues. I have learned not to stand-off in long debates. I have learned to hold my peace until the opening for "golden nuggets of wisdom" presents itself. The magic words: So honey, what do you think?

    20. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
    Hubby and I are both involved in inner-city missions. This is what I did before I met him and this is where his heart is also. Because it is our passion, we get to see each other in a different light. There are times when I can see his chest swell or his eyes well up when he sees me in this light.
    I believe developing your gifting and being where God has called you to is fulfilling, and therefore attractive to your mate/husband.

    As far as home goes, I am "tidy", but hubby is neat and organized. :lol: We appreciate our differences. But when he goes out on Monday nights to Men's Class, I spruce up the house. That has been my time to re-arrange or redecorate if it's a new season. If not, I use that time to clean. I take that time to go around the home worshipping, anointing, and praying for him and our marriage, and any other prayer concerns the family has. Then I light candles, play soft music, and set the mood for his return. He appreciates that very much.

    And meals? I love to cook and we are getting into healthy eating habits. Hubby has a sweet tooth and loves junk food, and green smoothies were not working for him. :lol: So the internet has been my best friend. I have found great recipes that have him raving. He doesn't always know what he's eating, but as long as it is presented well and tastes good, he is happy! I make all of his doctor's appointments and send him. (He was never into this, but is happy to go now).

    We pray together and read devotionals together every day. We have date night (Tuesdays - movies, bowling, walks in the park, reading in the car and listening to music, etc.), and get away once a month (Priceline/Hotwire- something cheap, nice and AWAY!). I usually plan and he loves it.

    One key thing I have learned also. PRAISE is so important. I praise him in front of people when the opportunity presents itself. But I get extra kudos when I know he is in earshot of a conversation I am having (on the phone with my mother or someone) and I praise him and he doesn't know I know he is there. :grin:
     
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  6. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    Hmm.... thanks for weighing in!

    I need to work on this one - DH would love a getaway more often. :yep:
     
  7. HWAY

    HWAY Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the tag.
    Keep your home tranquil and pesceful. Your husband should enjoy being home , away from the negativity prevalent in the world.
    Never speak negatively about your husband or marriage to anyone.
    Don't alow negative thoughts against your husband or your marriag, even durung the rough times.
    Always encourage your husband in his career pursuits or ministries.
    Hold his hand, smile at him, tell him what a great man he is, pray with him and for him.
    Schedule date nights.
    Take vacation together.
    Live on less than you earn. My father always says there is nothing like a young couple who can't go out because they're broke and are sitting at home squabbling about money.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2013
  8. BlackHairDiva

    BlackHairDiva Well-Known Member

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    Lately, I've really been into home management,cleaning schedules and meal planning. As I was trying to figure out how I wanted to build my home management binder I stumbled on this lady... Her name is Saidah Washington and her channel is called A proverbs wife.


    On her site, she has tons of free templates to be used for your home managment book. But what I love the most is that its all oriented based on the word of god!!! :yep:


    This sista also has a youtube channel. She has free templates that are printable that you can use in your home management binder. You just have to check out her things. I have and Im trying to make it a habit of being organized and on top of things so that when I do meet my husband and get married. I will be already a semi-pro.


    Look at her section called: A Proverbs Wife | Inspiration and resources for today's Proverbs 31 wives & women!


    Here are some of my favorite templates she has:

    http://aproverbswife.com/2013/01/31-days-of-praying-for-biblical-character.html

    http://aproverbswife.com/2012/08/16-free-homemaking-binder-resources.html

    http://aproverbswife.com/category/proverbs-wife/faith


    Her youtube Channel:

    https://www.youtube.com/user/4hadias/videos


    She has lots of marriage tips as well.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2013
  9. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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    Wow. I'm at work and can only skim but these pages are excellent!!!! Thanks. Will definetely check her out when I get a chance!
     
  10. BlackHairDiva

    BlackHairDiva Well-Known Member

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    here is one great one:

    [​IMG]

    I will print this and put it on my wall.
     
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  11. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    Okkkk soooo ladies!!!! All wknd somehow everywhere I went someone was talking about being single and waiting and praying! :rolleyes: You ever have that feeling that they talking to you but your wondering how they knew what was tormenting you lol I'm like really G-o-D dont be putting my bizness on front street :lachen: Anyways sooo have any of the wives or engaged or even dating ladies prayed and fasted for their mate to come? I understand praying for your family now but what about praying before. I mean like seriously prayed and fasted....I'll throw in a prayer for my future husband but I never focused on just that before :blush:

    I dont even know if I know where to start lol Before I just didnt care who I talked to cause I was NOT marriage minded at all Nowadays esp since I told God to put that veil on me I am sooo not into anyone I'm kinda like dang umm I am being too picky now lol I have a few suitors but i'm like nope I'm not attracted to you, nope your not a man of God, nope i'm gonna be too much for you to handle:look:, etc. Is it going to be something I just know and feel? i'm atleast expecting instant attraction physically:grin: tho I tend to steer away from those to appealing to the eye lol Too much headaches for this newbie :lol:

    :feedback:
     
  12. HWAY

    HWAY Well-Known Member

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    I prayed for a man who truly loved God. I told Him what qualities I was looking for and I told Him I knew I was not meant to be single.
     
  13. F8THINHIM

    F8THINHIM Well-Known Member

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    I prayed the prayer Shimmie posted in another thread. :grin: I can't find it right now, :think: but hopefully Shimmie will remind us.
     
  14. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Praise God... Congratulations on your Marriage.

    Well it wasn't me or my prayer, it was God using your faith... in ... HIM that got it answered.

    I'm so happy for you. :love3:
     
  15. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    The One prayer that is always answered...

    "Holy Spirit, please show me how to fix this?"

    How does that apply to Marriage? Easy :yep: Asking the Lord to 'fix' what's incomplete in your life. How to 'fix' what's hindering your dreams of Marriage. Then just be still and know that God is God.

    He always is... :love3:
     
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  16. Highly Favored8

    Highly Favored8 Well-Known Member

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  17. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    I said Shimmies prayer...........no shame in my game!

    SN: Sooo I saw this on FB

    Ask yourself...will the man or woman you're about to marry draw you closer to God?...or push you farther away?
    If the answer isn't "closer," you're about to make biggest, most disastrous mistake of your life.

    Any comments beautiful wives and wives to be? I only ask this because I know right now I am not where I want to be in my spiritual life but I do know where I want to be... in the past I think i've had guys let me go because I wasnt the submissive woman they wanted but I know one day I will be that woman
     
  18. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Highly Favored8... you are so 'Highly Favored and treasured of the Lord. :love2:

    I have to share this. I have a friend that I used to commute on the train with. I saw her last Thursday and she saw me she said... "HEY"... I'm married now. I'm married as of three weeks ago.

    I was so overjoyed for her. :yay: The gentleman that she had known and had been dating for 10 years, wanted to get married. They were long-distance for quite a while and it was a challenge for them. And I remember sharing with her and encouraging her about Marriage ... God made it happen for her.

    Ladies... Please do not give up! Marriage does happen and very happy God centered and God ordained Marriages at that. :yep:

    God the Father 'betrothes' His Darling Daughters. Oh Yes He Does... Yes He Does. Indeed He does.

    Get ready... :reddancer:
     
  19. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Get ready for it to happen. God answers prayer...and He has absolutely no problem answering the prayers from the very heart of you.

    Get Ready! :yep:
     
  20. sweetvi

    sweetvi Well-Known Member

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    stephluv

    Men nowadays want submissiveness without them sacrificing anything. Puhleaseeeeee.

    I will say this, once God gives you your mate, you will not hesitate to want to be submissive to him! My friend who is known for being strong headed, stubborn and very opinionated when she was single is now a submissive, family oriented, person who still is opinionated but her heart for her husband gave her that motivation to want to submit.
     
    Last edited: Oct 2, 2013
  21. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    You can get them to 'sacrifice' or in other words, they will respect you as the love of his heart... :yep: Men are very easy to set standards with. :yep:
     
  22. LovingLady

    LovingLady Well-Known Member

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    stephluv, thank you for the tag and for starting this beautiful thread.


    To me there are two prerequisites before you can start preparing for marriage:

    1. Know and understand that God is enough.

    2. Know who you are and what your purpose in life is.


    These two things are important in preparing you for marriage (and for life in general) because it eliminates unnecessary exceptions (on yourself and your future husband) and it puts you in the right frame of mind.

    When you understand that God is enough it puts you at peace. Peace cause you to become comfortable with life which cause you to be comfortable with yourself. When you are comfortable with yourself confidence emerges. When you are confident and comfortable you will stop trying to find love and love will find you.
     
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  23. LovingLady

    LovingLady Well-Known Member

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    That is particularly important if you are with someone who is in the military or has a career where he constantly needs to wear a suit and tie.

    I started doing for the past couple of days and it helps so much. I had so much more extra time on Saturday to relax. Thanks for the advice.

    This is very true. If you were wearing a full face of make-up before marriage he will be expecting it afterwards. Whatever you do before you were married make sure you are able to maintain it once you are married (looks, personality, cleaning ethnics etc.). Men want consistency.

    People are like sponges, whatever we take in, under pressure, it comes out. We should surround ourselves with beautiful things, positive words, images, music, and people.

    One of my favorite tumblers is: http://www.artoflovely.com/
    Christian musicians:

    • Group One Crew "Walking on the Stars"
    • Jamie Grace "Hold Me"
    • The City Harmonic "Manifesto"
    • Need to Breathe "Something Beautiful"
    • Francesca Battistelli "This is the stuff"
    The same thing happened to me when I started to wear nail polish.

    This is very true, men do take notice. I am trying to get my wardrobe to have around 90-95% dresses.

    I am currently reading "The Power of Femininity" and I love it so far. I would like to add to my reading collect, I am open to suggestions.

    This must be done if he is over worked and under valued at his job.
     
  24. LovingLady

    LovingLady Well-Known Member

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    I am not married but I would like to share what I have learned since I have been on a "prepare myself to be a wife" challenge for several months.

    Tips:
    *Neat and simple in terms of looks and style is the best road to go.
    *Keep for your shoes and feet in order, men do notice.
    *For ladies who wear nail polish look into gel nails, they last a lot longer then regular polish : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ZG304qerk
    *Ask for their advice and follow it. If it was a bad idea, do not tell then that just let it go and find a different solution.
    *Learn to cook from scratch.
    *If you know what vitamin your husband is deficient in try to cook foods that are high in it.
    *Be financially savvy. Buying in bulk and have a coupon book is the way to go.
    *Have date nights.
    *Allow him to watch the game in peace and quiet. If something needs to be done ask him before the game, do it yourself, or wait until later. This is advice I received from a man. He said to me that a women will typically leaves a man alone for the entire day but when the game starts she is requesting everything under the sun. They find it to be very annoying. Men love to help us but when they want their time they want their time.
    *Pick your battles. The phrase "we need to talk" should be used only in very serious situations.


    I have a questions for you ladies. When a man showing his vulnerable side what is the proper way of responding. How do we let them know that it is ok to be that open with us and no judgement is being passed.
     
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  25. Blackpearl1993

    Blackpearl1993 Well-Known Member

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    I will be married for ten years in November, but I am by no means an expert. Marriage is a beautiful journey with a beloved friend, confidant, lover, co-parent, and brother in Christ (not necessarily in the order I have listed--lol). Let your husband know he can be open with you by responding correctly when he is open. Don't berate him, pout due to his differing opinions, or act out when he shares his heart with you. Men do not generally like to be "forced" to open up and talk. Those "we need to talk" conversations are not usually at all comfortable for them. They open up when they are ready. Pray that God will give you the right words, countenance, body language when communicating with your husband. When there is an issue that needs to be discussed, pray first that God will provide the right timing for the conversation and make both of your hearts fertile ground for whatever truth must be shared. Ask God to help you respect him. Men view the respect of their wife as evidence of her love for him. This is not their only measure but it is a very, very important measure. When your husband opens up, praise him for trusting you. Show him that you are trustworthy by not revealing his vulnerable moments to others (whether he knows about it or not). Speak favorably of him to others. Praise in public and deal with any issues in private. This helps the heart of your husband to "trust in you confidently and rely on and believe in you securely, so that he has no lack of gain or need of spoil" --Proverbs 31:11. Also...don't make everything a serious issue. Your husband is human and he will make mistakes, have habits that differ from yours and may annoy you, and he will have a bad day sometimes. Ask God to help you forgive, find the positives, appreciate God's own handiwork in creating your husband, and don't become vested in always being right.

    Men delight in making their wives happy. They want to be her champion; the knight on the white horse. Let him be a man. Let him love and protect you. Ask God to help you delight in taking care of your man. Make him your first priority after God. BTW...sex is important. Marital intimacy is an important way that men connect with their wives. When they feel connected...they open up. This is not an exhaustive list, because I am not an expert but your husband learns to trust you when you do these things. When he trusts you and feels respected, he opens up. It will be natural and not contrived in any way. It will be authentic.
     
  26. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    You've shared some wonderful wisdom above. Especially regarding the hands. Many may wonder, "What does a woman's hands have to do with Proverbs 31'?

    The answer: "Volumes" :love2:

    If you want him to put a ring on it.... :look:

    Make sure those hands are looking good. "Just sayin'... :rolleyes:

    Regarding your question when our men show their vulnerable sides (yes, :yep: sides.

    We "let" them be human. We let them be fragile. We let them be loved, in spite of what they feel weak in. Let him 'vent', let him cry, let him be silent.

    There's a saying that 'Men are 'clams' and that women are 'crowbars'.

    Taking a "guilty" pause here for a 'minute'...

    :look: :look: :look:

    When a man shuts down (gets quiet), women (by nature) try to 'pry' them open...(i.e. make them talk). However this only makes the men, 'clam' tighter and then the women 'pry' even harder to make them open up and talk about 'it' (whatever the 'it' is that the man is going through).

    I've learned the hard way that this is not effective nor supportive nor is it healthy in any relationship. Both the man and the woman are in error here. Yes, both are in error. Men do not get a free pass just because we're focused on being a Proverbs 31 woman with a Proverbs 31 marriage. It still takes TWO to make this marriage work.

    As women we can 'bend' over backwards until our APL hair touches our ankles and brushes the soles of our feet, however that's not what Proverbs 31 is all about. The Proverbs 31 Woman is respected, she has strength and she has much influence over her husband, her children as well as others on the outside. We're not door mats for our husbands, yet we are their support and comfort...but we are respected.

    Bringing this back to the issue of supporting them in their vulnerable areas .... their weaknesses. While we let them be weak, let them cry, let them be silent, we do not let them 'shut us down', shut us out, disrespect us, nor do we try to 'pry' / force them to open up.

    Why do men 'shut down' (clam up) in the first place?

    They are fearful of showing their emotions. If they talk about it, while they are still 'feeling' badly, they feel that they may break down and not be a man about it. They don't want 'us' to see them 'cry'. After all, they are our 'heroes' and our protectors.

    Why do women try to 'pry' (crowbar) them open?:

    We want to help :giveheart: we want to nurture them :hug2: We want to feel involved and not shut out of what they are going through.

    There's a verse in Proverbs 31 which stands out to me, verse 11

    "The heart of her husband safely trusts her..."

    How does he learn to safely to safely trust in her?

    Who knows our husbands better? Of course, God Does :yep:

    Who can show us the way to our husband's heart for him to safely trust in us?? Our Father God.

    This is how we learn to understand him, how to help him when he is weak, how to leave him in his silence and not feel shut out and to allow God to teach him how to safely trust in us, his wife.

    The Proverbs 31 Woman and her Marriage Always works out so well in situations, (in both the expected and unexpected).

    "She rises early and 'sees' to her House'.

    Another translation says: "She also rises while it is yet night"...

    What is she doing? She rises early and seeks the Lord for the order of the day and the upcoming (unforeseen) needs and matters of her husband and family.

    She prays for God's leading in each situation for each one is different.

    We have such a head start and victory as Christian women in Marriage (in Life, period). We are so far ahead of the game and that's only because of Jehovah Shammah, our God who goes 'before' us and prepares the way.

    Lord thank you for Marriage... "One Man, One Woman" giving all honour and glory unto you.

    And for this cause, you are seeking those who will marry and give you honour.

    In Jesus' Name, Amen and Amen.
     
  27. Shimmie

    Shimmie "God is the Only Truth -- Period" Staff Member

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    Good Word, Blackpearl1993 :yep:

    And... Congratulations! 10 Years of Marriage and far beyond. :love2:
     
  28. Blackpearl1993

    Blackpearl1993 Well-Known Member

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    Here are the book titles I promised a while back:

    *The Bible
    *Feminine Appeal:Seven Virtues of a Godly Wife and Mother
    *The Love Dare
    *The Love Dare Day by Day
    *When A Woman Inspires Her Husband by Cindi McMenamin
    *Husbands, Wives, God by Edward C. Lee
    *Women Living Well by Courtney Joseph (this woman also has an awesome blog called Women Living Well)
    *The Marriage of Your Dreams: A Woman's Guide to Understanding Your Man
    *Creating With God (pregnancy, parenting)
    *Family Unplanning (parenting, family planning from Biblical perspective)
    *True Christian Motherhood (parenting)
    *52 Ways to Wow Your Husband: How to Put a Smile on His Face
    *For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhan (there is a companion book called For Men Only)
    *Uncovered: Revelaing the Secrets of a Sexy Marriage
    *Helper By Design: God's Perfect Plan for Women in Marriage
    *Love Another Child (family planning from a Biblical perspective)
    *Setting Their Hope In God: Biblical Intercession for Your Children by Andrew Case

    Note: I hope these are helpful to you. I pray before I purchase any books
    re: marriage or parenting/family planning. I would encourage you to ask God what He wants you to read on these important subject areas.
     
    *SkolarStar* likes this.
  29. Blackpearl1993

    Blackpearl1993 Well-Known Member

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    Two more book titles:

    Sacred Marriage & Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas (these are two separate book titles)
     
  30. stephluv

    stephluv Well-Known Member

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    LovingLady- hmmm i guess i'm on the challenge myself lol

    Blackpearl1993 Thanks for all the books!

    sorry been MIA beauties! I needed to wait until my funds were right to subscribe again :look:
     

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