cocoberry10
New Member
Ladies:
I have a question for you about celibacy and pre-marital sex.
I was talking to a friend. She and I are both celibate (I am actually a virgin--she's not). Anyway, she told me that, although she chooses not to engage in pre-marital sex with any man until he becomes her husband, she does not expect the same from a guy. Basically, she told me she would still marry a man who continued to engage in sex during their "courtship."
I don't agree with this. I know a lot of celibates who do/allow this from the guys they are seeing. I always looked at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey as examples of this. The media over-emphasized Jessica's virginity, while never mentioning whether Nick was practicing celibacy or not (I assumed he wasn't since he was a pop star).
Anyway, as a celibate, I don't expect men I tell to agree with my lifestyle, and I give them the option of ending the relationship if it's something they can't handle, b/c I don't think it's fair to expect a guy to do something that's not in his heart. However, I feel like it defeats the purpose (other than serving God--the most important purpose) for me to remain celibate while he continues sleeping around.
I mean, people can get diseases while you are trying to live holy. What if you do marry, and he has Herpes or AIDS? Guys get other girls pregnant, while in other relationships. Would I want to deal with this. Basically my friend told me that I didn't "understand" b/c I'm a virgin. I don't agree--I think I have high expectations--first for myself, and then for anyone I marry. I'm not expecting a man to be a virgin when he marries me. However, I am looking for a true man of God.
Please tell me what you think, and sorry so long! It's just really bothering me!
Cocoberry
I have a question for you about celibacy and pre-marital sex.
I was talking to a friend. She and I are both celibate (I am actually a virgin--she's not). Anyway, she told me that, although she chooses not to engage in pre-marital sex with any man until he becomes her husband, she does not expect the same from a guy. Basically, she told me she would still marry a man who continued to engage in sex during their "courtship."
I don't agree with this. I know a lot of celibates who do/allow this from the guys they are seeing. I always looked at Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey as examples of this. The media over-emphasized Jessica's virginity, while never mentioning whether Nick was practicing celibacy or not (I assumed he wasn't since he was a pop star).
Anyway, as a celibate, I don't expect men I tell to agree with my lifestyle, and I give them the option of ending the relationship if it's something they can't handle, b/c I don't think it's fair to expect a guy to do something that's not in his heart. However, I feel like it defeats the purpose (other than serving God--the most important purpose) for me to remain celibate while he continues sleeping around.
I mean, people can get diseases while you are trying to live holy. What if you do marry, and he has Herpes or AIDS? Guys get other girls pregnant, while in other relationships. Would I want to deal with this. Basically my friend told me that I didn't "understand" b/c I'm a virgin. I don't agree--I think I have high expectations--first for myself, and then for anyone I marry. I'm not expecting a man to be a virgin when he marries me. However, I am looking for a true man of God.
Please tell me what you think, and sorry so long! It's just really bothering me!
Cocoberry