"i've Picked My Job Over My Kids"

Discussion in 'News - Breaking News & Political Forum' started by aribell, Jul 4, 2019.

  1. Maracujá

    Maracujá November 2019 --> 13 years natural!!!

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    You played it smart, then again you are Naija for a reason :lol:. I believe the bolded is key at this point, since there's no telling when there will be change at the macro level. Thank you for your answer.
     
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  2. greight

    greight Well-Known Member

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    I guess I come from a different school of thought. My mom worked 2 to 3 jobs, but I was proud that she worked. I learned how to entertain and motivate myself without her, and performed well in school because I knew the sacrifices she was making.

    I don't flinch at all when it comes to the idea of being a working mom. I know I will need help and I'm thinking through how this will work. I do know that my future kids will be fine.
     
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  3. NijaG

    NijaG Well-Known Member

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    Yeah..,.. I really don’t think being a working mom is the main issue. The issue imo is this expectation that modern parents (especially mom’s) are suppose to be the be all and end all for their children without help. Main source for the foundation of life experiences and values... sure. However, parents are human beings growing and learning and responding to life around them. They are not perfect and are going to mess up.
     
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  4. Lady S

    Lady S Well-Known Member

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    I was raised by a single mom. Thankfully, we had a great support system and daycare that she could afford. I can say with great confidence, any mental health issues I have are not because of my mom working long hours. I had a friend whose mom was stay-at-home and my God, that relationship was and still is dysfunctional as hell. It's not about quantity, it's about quality. The time I spent with my mom as a kid, were filled with love and emotional support. But she was also fully present when she was there (or was at least pretty good at faking it, because in retrospect I'm pretty sure as a kid, my thoughts on She-Ra, Princess of Power weren't as interesting as I thought they were :laugh:)

    I don't think the woman who wrote the article is a bad person or deserves to be thrown in Mom-Jail. She's found a career that is not only well-paying, but also something she enjoys. It's also a career where it makes total sense why it would be hard to shift gears into mom mode. They always tell you to not bring work home with you, but that's just not realistic for some jobs. It's not even about prestige or titles, sometimes it's just the nature of the gig. Add actually enjoying your job on top of the equation? It's hard.

    I think it's important for parents too have interests and things that are fulfilling that aren't their kids, because those parents that put their whole entire ego and self-worth on their kids end up doing damage as well. There's a balance and the challenge is find that balance, being able to prioritize and being able to make that quality time with kids. I have no clue what the solution is, frankly just thinking about it makes me exhausted and pretty happy with my current designation as The Childless Aunt.
     
  5. Lady S

    Lady S Well-Known Member

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    I think this is a really good comparison. The author is in a field where in order to be successful, they have to be competitive, they have to be focuses and the stakes are major. I would like my lawyer to be more concerned about my freedom than their 3rd grader's school play. And I'm going to bet arguing a case during a trial is probably a little more adrenaline and dopamine producing than arguing with your child about bed time.
     
  6. ThirdEyeBeauty

    ThirdEyeBeauty Well-Known Member

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    That's how it is in that field and some are just like the example in the OP.
     

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