Do you want to come off as being as good or better then white women?

[csmoot]

I usually dont post in these threads but I had to share this. A good friend of mine (who is white) told me that black woman cannot grow hair like white woman. I found this to be very offensive and I know that she really did not mean it to be. She is a great friend and nice girl but I just dont agree with her. I share this because we all have our reasons for concentrating on our hair. Its just nice to know that there are women on this forum that completely shatters her conclusions.

I personally am on a quest for BSL hair and weight loss of 15 pounds. And it has nothing to do with anybody other than the fact that I am quite consumed with myself (hehehe) and making sure that I am healthy and attractive.

So for whatever your reasons are.... happy healthy growing hair wishes to everyone.

 

[CAPlush]

I think long hair is beautiful on all women, and particularly beautiful on Black women. Growing long hair is a beautifying project for myself, I don't compete w/ white women for anything in my everyday life so long hair would not benefit me in that department.

 

[Poohbear]

[/B]


um where are you getting this from my post. ITA with the part in the bold. MY question is more about what is behind saying we can brake the myth about black women hair. that's all. I get the felling only a few people seem to know what I'm asking.

Yes, I understood what you were asking and answered your question very plainly.

The reason I said that skin color doesn't determine how long your hair grows is because you said "Some of y'all know how I feel about dark skin women with long hair"...what did you mean by that? How do you feel about it?

 

[shynessqueen]

Same here.

Although, I'm going to have to agree with OnAHairQuest, without an anonymous function I doubt alot of people will be honest on the subject. Even if you felt the way SQ stated, most people would be afraid/ashamed to state it publicly for fear of being judged as weak or self hating.

^^^ I'm starting to see what you are saying. MY question is about black women saying I want to break the myth about black women can't grow long hair. Is that saying look we are equal when it comes to hair. (HAIR)

I see it's said a lot on this forum. Now it's like no one knows what I"m talking about. It's about hair nothing more nothing less.


Once again I'm not saying non-black or white women are better then black women. I know we are the best. The question is not about trying to be equal to white women as women and humans it's about hair. Nothing more nothing less.

 

[caribeandiva]

i wanna come off as better. when my hair gets really long (BSL and below) i'll stand out more cause i'm a tall black woman with naturally long hair and people of all races will be staring. it's expected for women of other races to have long hair so it's not as "exotic" looking on them.

 

[shynessqueen]

Yes, I understood what you were asking and answered your question very plainly.

The reason I said that skin color doesn't determine how long your hair grows is because you said "Some of y'all know how I feel about dark skin women with long hair"...what did you mean by that? How do you feel about it?

I posted a thread a while ago about dark skin women with long hair when my SN was plove. Some on here may remember that thread. I shouldn't have put that in this thread because it's confusing to some who don't know my views on that. I apologize for that.

 

[shynessqueen]

i wanna come off as better. when my hair gets really long (BSL and below) i'll stand out more cause i'm a tall black woman with naturally long hair and people of all races will be staring. it's expected for women of other races to have long hair so it's not as "exotic" looking on them.

Yes, you get what I"m asking.

 

[Dee-Licious]

^^^ I'm starting to see what you are saying. MY question is about black women saying I want to break the myth about black women can't grow long hair. Is that saying look we are equal when it comes to hair. (HAIR)

I see it's said a lot on this forum. Now it's like no one knows what I"m talking about. It's about hair nothing more nothing less.


Once again I'm not saying non-black or white women are better then black women. I know we are the best. The question is not about trying to be equal to white women as women and humans it's about hair. Nothing more nothing less.

True. I've seen it said a lot on this forum also. But throughout my childhood I saw other black girls with long hair, so I knew black girls could get long hair. I believe it was in high school or middle school that made me feel the competition between black women for long hair. I just never compared my hair with white women's because I see the VAST difference. Hell, I really don't see mine as being the same as black/mixed women with natually curly hair like (2c or whatever I don't know the numbers)

 

[Iluvsmuhgrass]

I don't compare myself or my hair to other women, including white women. I don't believe growing one's hair long has anything to do with another race of women. IMO, saying your hair can grow long is setting an intention and yes, it is saying you are equal when it comes to hair. I believe we as women (black. white or yellow) are already equal, period.

This post is on point! ITA

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I dont believe a discussion like this can ever be honest. That is not to diss anyone here at all, but a lot of the times we are not aware of the influences of other people's culture and world view on our minds. A lot of the things we do and perceive as beautiful are socialized and based on someone's cultural norms, and being the diaspora its usually not our own.

You are so correct and I was just about to say this. No one ever is honest in these types of discussions and you know this Shyness. Everyone is going to give the answer that they think is 'correct' for fear of being ridiculed.

I can honestly see how Shyness came up with this question. I can't even begin to count how many times I have seen in a thread where someone has said "I can't wait to have long hair to show these white women" or something along that nature. People are acting as if Shyness is crazy for asking this question, but IMHO she has validity to it and I can see where she is coming from. I have wondered it too, but I never thought to ask.

 

[B_Phlyy]

True. I've seen it said a lot on this forum also. But throughout my childhood I saw other black girls with long hair, so I knew black girls could get long hair. I believe it was in high school or middle school that made me feel the competition between black women for long hair. I just never compared my hair with white women's because I see the VAST difference. Hell, I really don't see mine as being the same as black/mixed women with natually curly hair like (2c or whatever I don't know the numbers)

Now, this I agree with, but this wasn't the original question that was asked.

I think that most black women do sometimes look at other black women with long hair as competition, but I think that when you come to boards like this, you still admire long hair on a black woman, but you don't necessarily see it as a competition since you know how to get it yourself.

 

[JFemme]

I don't compare myself or my hair to other women, including white women. I don't believe growing one's hair long has anything to do with another race of women. IMO, saying your hair can grow long is setting an intention and yes, it is saying you are equal when it comes to hair. I believe we as women (black. white or yellow) are already equal, period.

ITA with everything Isis stated...

 

[shynessqueen]

You are so correct and I was just about to say this. No one ever is honest in these types of discussions and you know this Shyness. Everyone is going to give the answer that they think is 'correct' for fear of being ridiculed.

I can honestly see how Shyness came up with this question. I can't even begin to count how many times I have seen in a thread where someone has said "I can't wait to have long hair to show these white women" or something along that nature. People are acting as if Shyness is crazy for asking this question, but IMHO she has validity to it and I can see where she is coming from. I have wondered it too, but I never thought to ask.

You are right LocksOL. I do know better but MY brain is just starting to wake up again and it starting to look at everything and wonder why. That's its way of gaining knowledge. It's like a happy high for me. It's like I look at the world with different eyes.

I at times believe that LHCFer can be honest. I have ask questions in the past and got REAL answers. I thought this could be one of those times.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

You are right LocksOL. I do know better but MY brain is just starting to wake up again and it starting to look at everything and wonder why. That's its way of gaining knowledge. It's like a happy high for me. It's like I look at the world with different eyes.

I at times believe that LHCFer can be honest. I have ask questions in the past and got REAL answers. I thought this could be one of those times.

Girl at times it can be honest, but it takes a "popular" member to break the mold. I don't think this is gonna be one of those threads. Some people like to push issues under the rug and hope they never reveal their ugly heads.

Sorry girl.

 

[chica_canella]

I don't compare myself or my hair to other women, including white women. I don't believe growing one's hair long has anything to do with another race of women. IMO, saying your hair can grow long is setting an intention and yes, it is saying you are equal when it comes to hair. I believe we as women (black. white or yellow) are already equal, period.

So basically if we are equal in one physical aspect and it has nothing to do with the genetics of the African race, then perhaps we are equal in other physical aspects. I mean, it just gets people to thinking. if this black women has long hair then maybe she is the same as me. because i've seen white women and black women practically break their neck to look at women with BSL hair and some women with BSL hair think they have something the other women can't achieve.

 

[Poohbear]

@ shynessqueen and locksofluv,

I gave an honest answer. I am someone who has never said "I'm gonna grow my hair long to prove blacks can grow long hair." I agree with you all in the sense that I've seen it said before by ladies here at LHCF, so I don't think y'all are crazy. But I do not think it's safe to say that all the black women who said that are competing with the hair growth of white women. We'll just have to see what they say individually in regards to your question and take their word for it.

And I believe carmellia and Isis as well as others were giving honest answers as well when they said they were not trying to grow long hair to show white women or to break that so-called myth. Plus, black women growing long hair was never a myth to me.

 

[PinkPeony]

You are so correct and I was just about to say this. No one ever is honest in these types of discussions and you know this Shyness. Everyone is going to give the answer that they think is 'correct' for fear of being ridiculed.

I can honestly see how Shyness came up with this question. I can't even begin to count how many times I have seen in a thread where someone has said "I can't wait to have long hair to show these white women" or something along that nature. People are acting as if Shyness is crazy for asking this question, but IMHO she has validity to it and I can see where she is coming from. I have wondered it too, but I never thought to ask.

I was just about to post the same thing.How many times did I read somewhere about an incident in which white people doubted the posters ability to grow long hair or where plain *hating* on them and their beautiful hair... and all the responses to posts as such are usually very similar.

 

[shynessqueen]

Girl at times it can be honest, but it takes a "popular" member to break the mold. I don't think this is gonna be one of those threads. Some people like to push issues under the rug and hope they never reveal their ugly heads.

Sorry girl.

I think most of them have me on the ignore list They don't post in my threads anymore but it all good.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

@ shynessqueen and locksofluv,

I gave an honest answer. I am someone who has never said "I'm gonna grow my hair long to prove blacks can grow long hair." I agree with you all in the sense that I've seen it said before by ladies here at LHCF, so I don't think y'all are crazy. But I do not think it's safe to say that all the black women who said that are competing with the hair growth of white women. We'll just have to see what they say individually in regards to your question and take their word for it.

And I believe carmellia and Isis as well as others were giving honest answers as well when they said they were not trying to grow long hair to show white women or to break that so-called myth. Plus, black women growing long hair was never a myth to me.

Hey Pooh, I didn't say you wasn't honest. I don't even know why you felt like I was talking about you.

I believe what everyone wrote here. I am saying that people that DO feel that way are not gonna speak.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I was just about to post the same thing.How many times did I read somewhere about an incident in which white people doubted the posters ability to grow long hair or where plain *hating* on them and their beautiful hair... and all the responses to posts as such are usually very similar.

I knew I wasn't crazy!

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I think most of them have me on the ignore list They don't post in my threads anymore but it all good.

No they don't.

 

[PinkPeony]

@ shynessqueen and locksofluv,

I gave an honest answer. I am someone who has never said "I'm gonna grow my hair long to prove blacks can grow long hair." I agree with you all in the sense that I've seen it said before by ladies here at LHCF, so I don't think y'all are crazy. But I do not think it's safe to say that all the black women who said that are competing with the hair growth of white women. We'll just have to see what they say individually in regards to your question and take their word for it.

And I believe carmellia and Isis as well as others were giving honest answers as well when they said they were not trying to grow long hair to show white women or to break that so-called myth. Plus, black women growing long hair was never a myth to me.

I see what you're saying but I also see the huge gap betwen threads like this and threads in which posters are very proud to note that white people are amazed at their hairgrowth or are jealous cuz of it and so on.Fair enough I've never seen Isis,Camellia or you in on of those threads and I don't think I will but I def. understand and agree with what Locks,JC are saying.
If someone would actually come in here and admit to wanting to grow hair to *outdo* white women hairwise or to dispell myths they probably would catch a beating.

 

[chica_canella]

^^^ I'm starting to see what you are saying. MY question is about black women saying I want to break the myth about black women can't grow long hair. Is that saying look we are equal when it comes to hair. (HAIR)

I see it's said a lot on this forum. Now it's like no one knows what I"m talking about. It's about hair nothing more nothing less.


Once again I'm not saying non-black or white women are better then black women. I know we are the best. The question is not about trying to be equal to white women as women and humans it's about hair. Nothing more nothing less.

I get what you are saying and I would have to say I want long hair for me and to show other black women and the world that black women can have long hair. People are going to believe what they want anyway but if my goal assists them in breaking the myth of black hair, then it's great. If it doesn't, then that's okay also.

and i am being honest.

 

[chica_canella]

@ shynessqueen and locksofluv,

I gave an honest answer. I am someone who has never said "I'm gonna grow my hair long to prove blacks can grow long hair." I agree with you all in the sense that I've seen it said before by ladies here at LHCF, so I don't think y'all are crazy. But I do not think it's safe to say that all the black women who said that are competing with the hair growth of white women. We'll just have to see what they say individually in regards to your question and take their word for it.

And I believe carmellia and Isis as well as others were giving honest answers as well when they said they were not trying to grow long hair to show white women or to break that so-called myth. Plus, black women growing long hair was never a myth to me.

well black women may not be competing wih white women but i think some of them compete with us. with my experiences and observations i'll just leave it at that.

 

[Poohbear]

Hey Pooh, I didn't say you wasn't honest. I don't even know why you felt like I was talking about you.

I believe what everyone wrote here. I am saying that people that DO feel that way are not gonna speak.

Ohhhhhhhh okay. Thanks for the clarification.

But how do you all know that those who feel that way are not going to speak??? I guess I'm missing something...

 

[PinkPeony]

well black women may not be competing wih white women but i think some of them compete with us. with my experiences and observations i'll just leave it at that.

Yep,mine as well.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Honestly, I would say that I want to show other black women that WE can have long hair too, but I am not even sure that they would believe it. So, needless to day that isn't my reason, because where most of the black women's mindset that are know are at, I would be on a dummy mission.

Before I was on this board I was GONE. I thought you had to be mixed to have long hair and sad to say a lot of other black women believe the same. Even seeing me with my 4b hair, other black women still seem to think it is because of "indian" in my family. Ain't no indian in dis hurr family either.

 

[shynessqueen]

@ shynessqueen and locksofluv,

I gave an honest answer. I am someone who has never said "I'm gonna grow my hair long to prove blacks can grow long hair." I agree with you all in the sense that I've seen it said before by ladies here at LHCF, so I don't think y'all are crazy. But I do not think it's safe to say that all the black women who said that are competing with the hair growth of white women. We'll just have to see what they say individually in regards to your question and take their word for it.

And I believe carmellia and Isis as well as others were giving honest answers as well when they said they were not trying to grow long hair to show white women or to break that so-called myth. Plus, black women growing long hair was never a myth to me.

I believe you and the women you mention gave an honest answer. I just ask about when it's said about braking the myth is that saying the myth is black women hair are not equal when it comes to length as non-black or white women hair. Some of the people who have answer my question honestly i can say i have never seen them post anything about that myth before. That is why i believe their answer is honest.

It has been said a lot on here but it seem like if I'm making it up because I'm not really getting a answer about the question. I'm getting people co-signing that black women are equal to non-blacks as women and humans. I ask about the hair myth. I feel that is a way to go around what i ask.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Ohhhhhhhh okay. Thanks for the clarification.

But how do you all know that those who feel that way are not going to speak??? I guess I'm missing something...

I am just going off of who spoke so far.

 

[glamazon386]

I get what you're asking shynessqueen. And OnaHairQuest and JCoily are right. Not everybody is going to admit it. To be honest, I don't want waist length hair either. That's just too much hair to be dealing with. But I am gonna let my natural hair grow out until it gets as big as I like it. I had a decent length hair as a child but once I got into my teenage years it just got all kind of jacked up and never really was right since. Having the hair that I want is just going to be one more thing on my list of attributes that I feel like everybody else won't have. Things that make me unique.

When I was in school the girls with the long hair always got more attention and once I started paying for my own hair I went and bought me some long hair. Not all people with long hair have this attitude but many (my mother included who just got long hair when I was in hs) feel like they have one up on other black women because their hair is long. And most black women's isnt and they're wearing weaves and braids. As messed up as that sounds, it is true. Most black women do wear weaves. And most of ones who wear their hair out don't have long hair. And people (especially men) always make comments to her about it things like Oh it's rare to see a black woman with long hair that's all her own or you know the whole is your family mixed or you have indian in your family bs...

Now that I'm older I do realize that I had some issues with myself that I had to get through which I have but I'm still a work in progress. As far as plove's comment about dark skinned women and long hair, I'm not sure how she's feels about it but I'm gonna guess it's gonna be along the lines that most dark skinned women don't have long hair. Light skin is usually put hand in hand with long hair. So when dark skinned women have long hair people make a big to do about it and you must have something mixed in your family to give you nice hair.

As a dark skinned woman myself when I was younger I always felt like I had to do extra things to my appearance for people to even make a second glance at me. Hair had to be on point, nails, outfit, make up, etc... Just to make up for my complexion. Usually when I date guys even now I get the whole, Oh I never dated a dark skinned girl until you. But you were so *insert whatever compliment here (usually i get exotic)* that it didn't matter. Or they'll try to argue with me that I'm brown skinned and not dark skinned. IDK if it's to make them feel better or what.

Now I realize that that was just dumb but it still holds true for other people. You don't know what people are thinking in their heads and what society and racism and colorism have made them come to believe as the truth.