I'm not relaxed but still....

[luckiestdestiny]

I have a question for those that do. I am in a dead lock debate as my hair is getting to the point that my life's consumed (styling it, detangling it, etc) because it's really curly and closing in on midback. Wash day is hours upon hours of work. The pic is of me flat ironed. I find that when I have it straight, it's so much easier to get on with my day. Of course I realize that no matter what good hair practice needs to be maintained, but I wonder...1)why are you relaxed?: Is it time factors? Or do you just like it straight? 2)Also how do you maintain it? From start to finish, I'm talking. Like you relax it how often and with what, how often do you have to protein versus pure conditioner wash? Is it a whole "lot" to do as well? Right now I don't use protein at all as my hair thrives with moisture, so it seems that a relaxer is the whole opposite. It would be a shame to grow my hair out just to have it break off. Just curious as I'm on the brink of relaxing. When I say the brink, it'll take me months to decide as I've been natural for years now and I don't want to make the leap yet. Also what do you like about it, and what are the cons? Thanks so much. I know it's a lot of questions, but I know you have the answers so please spill for a fellow lhcf member!
Disclaimer: This in no way means I'm anti natural, I just want to have a Sunday where I'm not chained to a soft hooded dryer. Air drying is not an option as I'd catch a cold, as it would take a day or more to dry as it's so thick! I just had to add that, as I love natural hair, but I'm at an impasse so to speak.

 

[nappystorm]

I'm not relaxer but I am having that same problem. I just decided to wear braids or
rollerser, flat iron roots and bun once a week and do wash and gos when it rains or something.
My hair is a bit too long to do the fro thing now and it takes too long to detangle

 

[leona2025]

I have a question for those that do. I am in a dead lock debate as my hair is getting to the point that my life's consumed (styling it, detangling it, etc) because it's really curly and closing in on midback. Wash day is hours upon hours of work. The pic is of me flat ironed. I find that when I have it straight, it's so much easier to get on with my day. Of course I realize that no matter what good hair practice needs to be maintained, but I wonder...1)why are you relaxed?: Is it time factors? Or do you just like it straight? 2)Also how do you maintain it? From start to finish, I'm talking. Like you relax it how often and with what, how often do you have to protein versus pure conditioner wash? Is it a whole "lot" to do as well? Right now I don't use protein at all as my hair thrives with moisture, so it seems that a relaxer is the whole opposite. It would be a shame to grow my hair out just to have it break off. Just curious as I'm on the brink of relaxing. When I say the brink, it'll take me months to decide as I've been natural for years now and I don't want to make the leap yet. Also what do you like about it, and what are the cons? Thanks so much. I know it's a lot of questions, but I know you have the answers so please spill for a fellow lhcf member!
Disclaimer: This in no way means I'm anti natural, I just want to have a Sunday where I'm not chained to a soft hooded dryer. Air drying is not an option as I'd catch a cold, as it would take a day or more to dry as it's so thick! I just had to add that, as I love natural hair, but I'm at an impasse so to speak.

I usually relax with Optimum Antibreakage, but this touch up I am switching to ORS no-lye regular because the my old relaxer isn't getting my hair straight. I would say as far as issues that I have with my hair is getting enough moisture. Almost all my conditioners are moisturizing. I can't say that I use protein a lot. I never do a protein treatment or anything like that. I don't really have a problem with breakage unless I don't keep my hair conditioned and moisturized. One thing I do hate about being relaxed is that I don't even remember what my natural texture hair looks like. I know for me personally I would never be able to care for natural hair. It seems like its so much more work in the detangling and styling area and I'm just not that good. 1. I like my relaxer because it does make my life easier. It's easier for me to manage. I love straight hair and I would probably burn all my natural hair out trying to keep it straight. 2. I maintain it by dc once a week and then I moistrize daily. I may or may not do a co wash during the week depending on how I feel and whether or not I bought something new. I try to clarify when I remember to. Generally I do buns and ponytails because they are quick for work. I relax between 8-12 weeks and I keep my relaxer scedule in my cell, lol.

 

[Nola Darling]

I've been feeling the same way too. I like to keep it straight because it just easier. That and I suck at natural styles.

If I do relax I'm going to get a short cut though.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I've been feeling the same way too. I like to keep it straight because it just easier. That and I suck at natural styles.

If I do relax I'm going to get a short cut though.

No way am I going to cut, I'm going for waist length. But I just thought...going for waist length...natural...can I do this without buzzing it all off? And I mean it, because I've buzzed it off before and I can feel the "twitch" in my fingers, everytime I pass the hair scissors. All it would take is a big chop, and a pair of my boy friend's clippers....but I digress because I made it this far and I actually like long hair...but still what's a gal to do (spend hours on hair for natural sake, buzz it, or just relax it). The debate continues. Keep it coming please, as I want to hear what everyone things on this subject, and of course for relax heads, what you guys do for maintanence, etc.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I usually relax with Optimum Antibreakage, but this touch up I am switching to ORS no-lye regular because the my old relaxer isn't getting my hair straight. I would say as far as issues that I have with my hair is getting enough moisture. Almost all my conditioners are moisturizing. I can't say that I use protein a lot. I never do a protein treatment or anything like that. I don't really have a problem with breakage unless I don't keep my hair conditioned and moisturized. One thing I do hate about being relaxed is that I don't even remember what my natural texture hair looks like. I know for me personally I would never be able to care for natural hair. It seems like its so much more work in the detangling and styling area and I'm just not that good. 1. I like my relaxer because it does make my life easier. It's easier for me to manage. I love straight hair and I would probably burn all my natural hair out trying to keep it straight. 2. I maintain it by dc once a week and then I moistrize daily. I may or may not do a co wash during the week depending on how I feel and whether or not I bought something new. I try to clarify when I remember to. Generally I do buns and ponytails because they are quick for work. I relax between 8-12 weeks and I keep my relaxer scedule in my cell, lol.

See that's what I was thinking for me. My hair craves moisture and hates protein. Good to see that not all relaxed go the route of protein. I think it'll be more along your lines if I go that route...

 

[LovelyLionessa]

1)why are you relaxed? I like the versatility relaxed hair gives me, I can alternate between curly and straight styles easily.

2)Also how do you maintain it? I maintain my hair by alternating between 2 styling methods. For curls/waves I wash and airdry and then style my hair in a braidout. I just sleep w/my hair in 4 braids to set the style. For straight styles I rollerset on large rollers and flat iron my roots. It takes me 20-25 minutes to rollerset and 1.5 hours under the hood dryer, then I flat iron the next morning. Wash days I either DC for a few hours while hanging around the house, then shampoo & condition. If I'm just pre-pooing I leave some conditioner on more like 15 minutes. My actual wash process is somewhere around 45 minutes as I take my time and comb/detangle in 4 sections, each braided. I use conditioners that contain protein & moisture (like LeKair, MillCreek, ORS Replenishing) but I never use any hardcore protein products. I self relax ever 10-12 weeks w/ORS Lye. I love having relaxed hair. HTH

 

[secretrose]

I've been wearing half wigs for more than a year now so my routine is bare minimum.
deepcowash in cornrows twice a week. rollerset the hair left out (5 mins). Airdry conrows. slap on the wig in the morning and blend.

But when I did wear it out. I would wash and DC once every week. Pin curl it to maintain the style over night and comb out it in the morning, bun on occasion. Light protein - once a month. Moisturize daily. That's it!

 

[prospurr4]

1)why are you relaxed?: Is it time factors? Or do you just like it straight?
I love relaxed hair. I'm actually texlaxed (50% relaxed), and as a result, I've retained what I love about my natural hair (texture, thickness, "some" shrinkage), yet detangling and styling are much easier now. I rarely wear my hair straight; I prefer curly or textured styles and updos.

2)Also how do you maintain it?
I have a really simple routine. My hair loves moisture, so I only use protein during the "texlaxing" process. Please see my fotki, in the "About Me" section for my detailed regimen.

Also what do you like about it, and what are the cons?
I love the variety of styles that I can do with my hair. I love that if I'm in a hurry, I can quickly put it up in a bun and go. I love that I can enjoy the length as well as the thickness of my hair. The only "con" I can think of is that I have to do a touchup every 8 weeks. But that's really no biggie because I do it myself.

I wish you success in making the decision that's right for you.

 

[hopeful]

1)why are you relaxed? I like the versatility relaxed hair gives me, I can alternate between curly and straight styles easily.

2)Also how do you maintain it? I maintain my hair by alternating between 2 styling methods. For curls/waves I wash and airdry and then style my hair in a braidout. I just sleep w/my hair in 4 braids to set the style. For straight styles I rollerset on large rollers and flat iron my roots. It takes me 20-25 minutes to rollerset and 1.5 hours under the hood dryer, then I flat iron the next morning. Wash days I either DC for a few hours while hanging around the house, then shampoo & condition. If I'm just pre-pooing I leave some conditioner on more like 15 minutes. My actual wash process is somewhere around 45 minutes as I take my time and comb/detangle in 4 sections, each braided. I use conditioners that contain protein & moisture (like LeKair, MillCreek, ORS Replenishing) but I never use any hardcore protein products. I self relax ever 10-12 weeks w/ORS Lye. I love having relaxed hair. HTH

My goodness your hair is beautiful!

 

[luckiestdestiny]

1)why are you relaxed?: Is it time factors? Or do you just like it straight?
I love relaxed hair. I'm actually texlaxed (50% relaxed), and as a result, I've retained what I love about my natural hair (texture, thickness, "some" shrinkage), yet detangling and styling are much easier now. I rarely wear my hair straight; I prefer curly or textured styles and updos.

2)Also how do you maintain it?
I have a really simple routine. My hair loves moisture, so I only use protein during the "texlaxing" process. Please see my fotki, in the "About Me" section for my detailed regimen.

Also what do you like about it, and what are the cons?
I love the variety of styles that I can do with my hair. I love that if I'm in a hurry, I can quickly put it up in a bun and go. I love that I can enjoy the length as well as the thickness of my hair. The only "con" I can think of is that I have to do a touchup every 8 weeks. But that's really no biggie because I do it myself.

I wish you success in making the decision that's right for you.

Thanks so much. That's what I'm trying to do. Think of what's right for me, way the pros and cons you know? I'm going to check out your "about me" section as I'm interested in knowing how you use protein afterwards.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

My goodness your hair is beautiful!

Isn't it though? I was just about to comment on Priestess hair myself. It if gorgeous!!!!

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I relax for a few reason style preference being my #1- I prefer rollersets, straight styles and sleek ponytails over puffs, twist and stuff, also I doubt I would feel like pressing my hair out on a regular to achieve the styles I want.

I shampoo and DC 2x's a wk, either air drying or rollersetting. I relax ever 4-5 months do mild-medium protein tretments every 2 wks and hardcore treatments every 2-3 months. Once I add my leave-in's I don't add anything else until the next poo day, my DC are moisturing enough that I don't have to add anything inbtwn poo days.

 

[Dposh167]

im relaxed cuz ive been relaxed since the 3rd grade. So its all i know....i maintain it by dcing,cowashing during stretches, and keeping those ends moisturized and split free.....the cons of being relaxed is stretching. Its nice to have str8 hair, but when ur roots are str8 for only a certain number of weeks....then ur right back in the hassle of dealing with 2 textures. its annoying to go thru this same cycle every couple months.

 

[Extremus]

1) why are you relaxed?:
It's all I know. I've had relaxed hair since I was 8, as far as I can remember. All I knew was to get a touch up every month and to always keep it straighten. That's another story tho.

Is it time factors?
Wouldn't know. Sadly, I don't remember my natural hair

Or do you just like it straight?
n/a

2)Also how do you maintain it? From start to finish, I'm talking. Like you relax it how often and with what, how often do you have to protein versus pure conditioner wash?

Light protein treatments (Aphogee 2 Min Reconstructor) a week before and after a relaxer
Wash and DC every week
Light protein every 2 weeks, sometimes followed by a DC
moisturize daily
relax every 3 months


Is it a whole "lot" to do as well?
Not at all. I'm lazy, so for me to say not at all, says a lot

Also what do you like about it, and what are the cons?[/B]

I can't make a honest comparison between relaxed and natural, but as far as having relaxed hair, I find it very easy to take care of, there's a long range for styling, and it's easy to straighten and to keep it straightened.

Cons will probably be the chemical damage it'll do to your scalp, (if you don't like thin hair) it'll thin out your hair some, and learning to/dealing with the new growth

 

[prospurr4]

Thanks so much. That's what I'm trying to do. Think of what's right for me, way the pros and cons you know? I'm going to check out your "about me" section as I'm interested in knowing how you use protein afterwards.

You're welcome!

 

[Extremus]

I relax for a few reason style preference being my #1- I prefer rollersets, straight styles and sleek ponytails over puffs, twist and stuff, also I doubt I would feel like pressing my hair out on a regular to achieve the styles I want.

I shampoo and DC 2x's a wk, either air drying or rollersetting. I relax ever 4-5 months do mild-medium protein tretments every 2 wks and hardcore treatments every 2-3 months. Once I add my leave-in's I don't add anything else until the next poo day, my DC are moisturing enough that I don't have to add anything inbtwn poo days.

Word?! What DC do you use??

 

[luckiestdestiny]

1) why are you relaxed?:
It's all I know. I've had relaxed hair since I was 8, as far as I can remember. All I knew was to get a touch up every month and to always keep it straighten. That's another story tho.

Is it time factors?
Wouldn't know. Sadly, I don't remember my natural hair

Or do you just like it straight?
n/a

2)Also how do you maintain it? From start to finish, I'm talking. Like you relax it how often and with what, how often do you have to protein versus pure conditioner wash?

Light protein treatments (Aphogee 2 Min Reconstructor) a week before and after a relaxer
Wash and DC every week
Light protein every 2 weeks, sometimes followed by a DC
moisturize daily
relax every 3 months


Is it a whole "lot" to do as well?
Not at all. I'm lazy, so for me to say not at all, says a lot

Also what do you like about it, and what are the cons?[/b]

I can't make a honest comparison between relaxed and natural, but as far as having relaxed hair, I find it very easy to take care of, there's a long range for styling, and it's easy to straighten and to keep it straightened.

Cons will probably be the chemical damage it'll do to your scalp, (if you don't like thin hair) it'll thin out your hair some, and learning to/dealing with the new growth

So relaxed heads, is it possible to relax without chemical damage, or thinning out hair or is it inevitable. As of right now I have three heads of hair, so thining might not be a big deal, but the whole chem damage...what's up with that? What's your thoughts on chem damage and thinning, have you all experienced it? And does it continue to thin overtime?

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Bumping for replies please! Bump!

 

[onejamifan]

I relax for convenience and as many other ladies on here, it's the only thing I know. I've had relaxed hair for 21 years and have always managed to keep it long and with minimal chemical damage. I switch relaxers often with no real issues, but I do use protein treatments at least once a month and DC with every wash. I rollerset every week and occassionally blow out my hair. Don't use curling irons or flat irons and wear my hair up most of the time. The big thing with avoiding chemical damage with relaxers is avoiding overlapping and timing your relaxer yourself. Don't trust a stylist to tell you that you are ready. If your watch says time's up, then time's up. If it itches, tell your stylist that it itches and have her take the stuff out. Overprocessing is the devil and can ruin your hair. Just stay ontop of your regime and you'll be fine.

 

[camilla]

I have been relaxed since idk/ since i was nine i can remember my natural hair it was thick and wave about mid back BUTTTTTT i hated to get my hair done begged mom 4 a perm i wish i never did i love natural hair and have been back and forth about going natural i am currently apl blunt just grew out layers

relax: every 3 to 4 months
pros: easy to manage
protein con every month ,cowash 1 x wk, sulfate free shampoo 1 x week deep/moisture cond after every wash and co wash either set, air dry/flat iron,band or twist out will purchase caruso to air dry/steam set
IMO the less heat the better. when i am stretching i do dominican blow outs every week or every other week. are you near any i pay 18 bucks for a wah set and blow out you could do that twice a month to give yourself every other sunday off
clarify once a month if using growth aides every three weeks
pre poo with oil the day b4 wash day
moisturize daily (mango butter elasta qp) and seal with either oilive or coconut oil veeeerrrry lightly i no likey greasy hair
cons i LOVE natural hair the curl of it
maybr you should consider texlaxing instead of relaxing to softer the curl and loosen the bulk that way you have more flexability when it is warm you can wash add curl product and bounce and it would make roller sets easier it is up to you WILL YOU MISS YOUR CURL PATTERN? REMEMBER ONCE YOU RELAX YOU CAN NOT GO BACK
whatever you choose good luck

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I have been relaxed since idk/ since i was nine i can remember my natural hair it was thick and wave about mid back BUTTTTTT i hated to get my hair done begged mom 4 a perm i wish i never did i love natural hair and have been back and forth about going natural i am currently apl blunt just grew out layers

relax: every 3 to 4 months
pros: easy to manage
protein con every month ,cowash 1 x wk, sulfate free shampoo 1 x week deep/moisture cond after every wash and co wash either set, air dry/flat iron,band or twist out will purchase caruso to air dry/steam set
IMO the less heat the better. when i am stretching i do dominican blow outs every week or every other week. are you near any i pay 18 bucks for a wah set and blow out you could do that twice a month to give yourself every other sunday off
clarify once a month if using growth aides every three weeks
pre poo with oil the day b4 wash day
moisturize daily (mango butter elasta qp) and seal with either oilive or coconut oil veeeerrrry lightly i no likey greasy hair
cons i LOVE natural hair the curl of it
maybr you should consider texlaxing instead of relaxing to softer the curl and loosen the bulk that way you have more flexability when it is warm you can wash add curl product and bounce and it would make roller sets easier it is up to you WILL YOU MISS YOUR CURL PATTERN? REMEMBER ONCE YOU RELAX YOU CAN NOT GO BACK
whatever you choose good luck

I know there is so much to think about. That's why I'm taking my time, because I know once I relax like you said, you can't go back without a big super chop!

 

[luckiestdestiny]

By the way, thanks to everyone for their tips. I'm still weighing my options, but leaning towards relaxing after I saw Stillalady's hair. I mean WOW. So anyways, I'm going to wait a while so I don't do anything hasty, but I appreciate all the support and advice on how to treat relaxed hair.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

Ya know do what is best for you. As you can see many relaxed heads are able to keep healthy hair. I have a relaxed head and I wash 2x weekly, and DC every wash. I've been relaxed since I was in the 6th grade.

Also I need to find out the scientific support but having a wet head or whatever does not make you prone to colds.

 

[*Muffin*]

Before I begin I just wanted to say that a lot of people think that relaxing is a good option if your natural hair is becoming hard to deal with, but that's not always the case. I personally believe it's a trade off. There a pros and cons to both. The thing I like about being relaxed is that I don't have to worry about detangling a lot or worry about hair reversion. But a lot of times I wish my hair had the versatility of natural hair and I hate having to deal with lots of NG. But overall I like my hair and I know that if I was a natural I would miss some aspects of being relaxed.

Why do I relax? I hate to say it, but it's because I don't want to cut my hair so that I can go natural. I've been relaxed for quite a while and I started my hair care journey as a relaxed head and I've already achieved a good amount of length and I'm not willing to part with that as of yet. I absolutely want to go natural in the future, but as for right now I want to achieve my length goals and enjoy my hair before I have to transition and cut it. Also relaxing (for me) is low maintanence. I pretty much wash/comb/deep condition my hair once a week and wear my hair in protective styles every other day of the week.

How often do I relax: I relax every 4 months, but in the future I plan on stretching that to six months. Maybe one day I can be like Sylver 2 (who has long, gorgeous relaxed hair) and stretch for a year. But if I stretched that long I'd probably feel very tempted to go natural .