What Do Relaxed Ladies Think?

[dicapr]

I just love long hair. It doesn't matter whether it is relaxed, texlaxed, natural, or heat trained. I also think that the divide between what works for relaxed and naturals it overstated. If you want proof, look at how both naturals and relaxed are loving the Jheri Juice challange. I think we are all just trying to find how best to grow long hair. I am going natural because my hair can no longer handle relaxers. It's not that deep for me. And yes, I will still stalk beautiful relaxed heads.

 

[longhairlover]

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

I like all hair so it really doesn't matter to me, I feel when someone honestly goes natural for themselves and not following a fad there is no need to throw stones at relaxed heads. There are other hair boards that have alot of relaxed heads so I'll just move onto those, but in all reality, my hair has been pretty before joining this board it will stay so after, I just like looking at hair and that's why I joined a hair board just to look at others lovely hair, don't need advice or anything.

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?

to me this is where the ignorance comes in on this site, I love my relaxed hair, I love my curly hair but I prefer to have straight hair that's my preference, this knocking thing on here is just as bad as the light vs dark crap it's ignorant and AA folks need to stop trying to find ways to seperate themselves, your natural so what, AND not all heads look good natural either just an fyi.

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?

relaxers will contine to be around whether people like it or not that's just how it is. and also a heads up to naturals still claming they are natural but they bkt you are no longer natural! bkt is a chemical to alter your hair structure just like a relaxer. i've never had anyone make an assumption about me because I relax, all I have ever received are compliments on my hair, and hate (oh well), I think to judge someone for relaxing again is ignorant and petty, but you have those that feel like because they chose the natural movement they are better why I have no idea it's crazy thinking imo. like I said above if you chose natural because of your personal preference then it's all good you dont' care about anyone else and what they do with their hair.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?

yeah for the crazy members lmao! but I dont' care lhcf will just end up losing my itty bitty dollars for membership renewal along with others that get tired of all the bashing of relaxed heads.

 

[Minty]

indeed Longhairlover - indeed.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

I just love long hair. It doesn't matter whether it is relaxed, texlaxed, natural, or heat trained. I also think that the divide between what works for relaxed and naturals it overstated. If you want proof, look at how both naturals and relaxed are loving the Jheri Juice challange. I think we are all just trying to find how best to grow long hair. I am going natural because my hair can no longer handle relaxers. It's not that deep for me. And yes, I will still stalk beautiful relaxed heads.

What is this Jheri Juice you speak of? *off to search*

 

[30something]

I love hair, I'm a natural hair fan, if there a post that exclude my advice or input I just keep it moving, can always start my own thread.

And for the negative undertone(s) and assumptions...
People going to talk sh t no matter where you go..

 

[Kellum]

Yes, there are a lot of new naturals and alot of natural threads everyday. There is also an abundance of info for relaxed ladies. It just takes doing a search.

I personally love it all whether it be relaxed, natural, texlaxed, etc.. whatever you want to call it. I love it short, long, mid length, as long it is healthy. We are all here basically for one common goal that is for healthy hair no matter what length, texture, natural, relaxed, etc...

The bottom line is I do me. I can care less what anyone says or feel about my hair. I love my texlaxed hair and will keep on texlaxing until I feel like I don't want to anymore. Life is about choices. This is my choice.

 

[jasminea]

I could care less if someone else has relaxed or natural hair. Their choice has no affect on me and my hair. I am relaxed and loving it, but I would not promote it for everyone. You have to show relaxed hair some TLC or you can easily mess your head up.

I think a lot of those who knock others for their personal hair choice are just insecure about their choice. Questioning if they did the right thing and fearful they may be missing out on something. This goes both ways relaxed and natural.

They should spend the time they spend knocking others trying to figure out what makes them happy. This board is a great chance to figure it out. Stretch your relaxer to see what you think about your natural hair. Try a relaxer if after doing your research it sounds right for you. It's your hair and if you hate what you try, you can change it! I mean dang it does grow, we have all proven that.

Insecurity breed mean spirited hateful people. So if you see someone knocking you for your choice don't sweat it, they are the one with the problem.

 

[Ms. Feliz]

I'm relaxed, and recently decided to transition. The amount of natural/relaxed threads really don't bother me because I think our hair is beautiful either way.

 

[Stella B.]

There is so much useful information on here for both natural and relaxed ladies. It would be way too time consuming for me to expend energy on whether being relaxed is better than being natural, or otherwise. I absorb what info I can for all types of hair, sort thru it mentally, and take notes on all the great ideas and suggestions that are generated from this board. Whatever hair care advice is given and applies to me I accept and consider it to be all good. Even though I am currently texlaxed, I love learning about relaxed and natural hair care. This forum is a playground for hair enthusiasts, and I'm glad I'm a part of it!

 

[soulfusion]

Girl, YES! Life is too short to worry about what somebody else does with their hair or what somebody thinks about what you're doing with yours. Goodness!

I say learn all you can and get in where you fit in.

 

[fattyfatfat]

LHCF reminds me of the song/dance scene in "School Daze".

I think the song is called "Straight and Nappy" but my Itunes says "Straight and Happy".

I hope someone knows the song/dance Im talking about!

 

[armywife]

I am relaxed and I love being relaxed.. I don't know if this is one of those threads or not but I would just say that it does not matter to me how many natural or relaxed women there are on this board. I get a lot of helpful information about my hair and my hair is the healthiest it's been in a long time and that is all that matters to me. I think that women on this board get to caught up in the natural versus relaxed thing.. No offense to anyone, but it's not that serious.. Love you, love your hair and keep it moving.. We are all beautiful women and in the end, does any of this even matter??

 

[fattyfatfat]

I am relaxed and I love being relaxed.. I don't know if this is one of those threads or not but I would just say that it does not matter to me how many natural or relaxed women there are on this board. I get a lot of helpful information about my hair and my hair is the healthiest it's been in a long time and that is all that matters to me. I think that women on this board get to caught up in the natural versus relaxed thing.. No offense to anyone, but it's not that serious.. Love you, love your hair and keep it moving.. We are all beautiful women and in the end, does any of this even matter??

 

[Avaya]

Y'all need to spend some time on the other boards .

I don't see any of this "Yea Natural; Poo Poo Relaxed" when I am over here. I've found info for my relaxed hair and my natural 4a/b new growth with no problem.

I've neither felt attacked nor left out .

 

[theprototype]

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

I can understand why such threads would be created, considering natural hair has a history of not being considered beautiful. I understand that going natural is a very difficult decision for many ladies who have been relaxed for the majority of their lives, so I can understand why such support threads exist. At the same time, because one thing is beautiful, does not mean another isn't...

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?

I think it's very unnecessary. In my opinion, it makes those who act this way appear insecure. It's ok to be opinionated, but at the same time, why provoke an argument over something that's been debated ad nauseam? It's as if some people get strength from trying to bully relaxed ladies.

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?

Reminds me of that saying "when you assume, you make an a.ss out of you and me." Sure, there are probably many people who relax to conform, but at the same time, there are many who do it for various other reasons.. You don't know one's reason unless they tell you, so why assume?

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?

Generally no, but every now and then, certain members do say things that are somewhat degrading. I don't think it's a one-sided coin though. I see many posts that knock natural hair, such as saying "she doesn't need a relaxer", as if certain hair textures are bad.

We're all here to learn about healthy haircare, whether it be for natural or relaxed hair, and I believe we all have things to learn from one another, whether we're relaxed or natural

 

[LatterGlory]

At any given time I have all 3 textures on my head ( natural, relaxed, texlaxed )... I find LHCF to be a very supportive place, whatever your texture.

I've found that the confident natural ladies don't put down relaxed ladies I've even seen quite a few stand up for relaxed heads and vice versa.

 

[Minty]

LHCF reminds me of the song/dance scene in "School Daze".

I think the song is called "Straight and Nappy" but my Itunes says "Straight and Happy".

I hope someone knows the song/dance Im talking about!

Girl you know I was singing that the other day after reading another thread and the undercurrent of relaxer "strong dislike" I was laughing to myself humming this song.

Ah its good to see some are still able to look through the artificial and view the reality, and then laugh at it all despite shaking their head.

 

[Blkrose]

With most of the board appearing to be natural, many going natural, and a lot of the material on here growing towards natural hair what do relaxed ladies think about:

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?

This is really not meant to be a natural vs relaxed thing, so please there is no need to take it there

I'm just really curious about what relaxed ladies feel on these topics.

Please keep the peace!

I truly appreciate all of the prideful women that are happily natural and not afraid to say so. Some of their revelations, progress and enthusiam can be addictive and motivational to the point where I who am currently relaxed have contemplated going natural. I have seen many whose comments can be a little over zealous, making it seem that to be natural is so much better and that there is no other way to be. This Ive learned is not true.

There are Pros and Cons to EVERYTHING and though the relax threads appear to be far and in between I have learned that a black woman can obtain and keep healthy growing relaxed hair. From the things Ive learned from this forum I no longer feel like being relaxed is a conformity to "Western society" but rather I feel it is a choice, a personal choice and with any choice made concerning our hair TLC is always needed along with patience.

I enjoy looking at the pictures of the beautiful heads of hair of all textures both relaxed and natural. Only thing that bothers me is not finding LHCF sooner

 

[Nayeli]

I get where you're coming from OP -

A plain example is that if a poster decides she's going to BC or has BCed, the customary response is often "congratulations!" as opposed to a poster considering a relaxer - to which the response is often "think long and hard about it." Not negativity at all......just greater caution.

So yes, the tone of LHCF is somewhat different but I still love this place because I have never seen a collection of black hair so beautiful. As a relaxed head I am both ecstatic for ladies who go natural and ecstatic for myself who will not be doing the same. As long as that hair on your head is growing, you fine by me!

 

[guudhair]

Ummm.... i see a lock coming on

My exact thoughts...

 

[Anew]

Yikes! I'm a lover of healthy hair (relaxed/natural) and banging TWA's/baldies

Although I'm gonna BC this Sunday (and there will be a thread, lol) I stan for relaxed hair, my biggest hair idol is Sylver. I just love the fact that "we" have sooooo many styling options.

The beauty of black hair.

I would like to apologize in advance as this post had nothing to do with the OPs question

*blush*

 

[Aviah]

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

I can understand why such threads would be created, considering natural hair has a history of not being considered beautiful. I understand that going natural is a very difficult decision for many ladies who have been relaxed for the majority of their lives, so I can understand why such support threads exist. At the same time, because one thing is beautiful, does not mean another isn't...

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?

I think it's very unnecessary. In my opinion, it makes those who act this way appear insecure. It's ok to be opinionated, but at the same time, why provoke an argument over something that's been debated ad nauseam? It's as if some people get strength from trying to bully relaxed ladies.

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?

Reminds me of that saying "when you assume, you make an a.ss out of you and me." Sure, there are probably many people who relax to conform, but at the same time, there are many who do it for various other reasons.. You don't know one's reason unless they tell you, so why assume?

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?

Generally no, but every now and then, certain members do say things that are somewhat degrading. I don't think it's a one-sided coin though. I see many posts that knock natural hair, such as saying "she doesn't need a relaxer", as if certain hair textures are bad.

We're all here to learn about healthy haircare, whether it be for natural or relaxed hair, and I believe we all have things to learn from one another, whether we're relaxed or natural

I have seen this too (in red).

Yikes! I'm a lover of healthy hair (relaxed/natural) and banging TWA's/baldies

Although I'm gonna BC this Sunday (and there will be a thread, lol) I stan for relaxed hair, my biggest hair idol is Sylver. I just love the fact that "we" have sooooo many styling options.

The beauty of black hair.

I would like to apologize in advance as this post had nothing to do with the OPs question

*blush*

It may have not had much to do with my post, but its still appreciated.
And YES, her hair is on point!


Side note: Its pretty messed up that we can't have simple set of questions answered about the changing nature of the board without threats of locks, and accusations. Still, I got my answers, and thanks to those who took the time to honestly answer, and who may after this post. As I stated before, this is NOT a relaxed vs natural thread. Anyone without bias can see that.

 

[Junebug D]

With most of the board appearing to be natural, many going natural, and a lot of the material on here growing towards natural hair what do relaxed ladies think about:

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

Good. I've been natural and relaxed and everything in between, and I DO think it's sad when so many women have no clue know what their own natural hair is like. If you haven't done it at some point, I think there's a definite benefit in doing it. When I first did it, I was amazed at everything about it, so I understand why so many "Oooh! Look!" threads pop up. And if it doesn't work for you, at least you'll know what yours is like.

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?

This is where the negativity comes in. Generalities suck. When I talk badly about MY hair, I make sure to say I'm talking about MY hair and MY hair only.

People making ***umptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?

The first three letters. I've done it in the past and it will come around to bite you in the butt. We ARE in Western society (those of us who live in the USA) a LOT of the things you do are conforming to "western standards". But you know what... that's my culture! This is where I live, my parents, my grandparents, my great-grandparents, tracing roots back to slavery. Relaxers aren't anything new, and straightening your hair is certainly nothing new. It's something black people come back around to like clockwork every other decade.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?

Sometimes, sometimes not. Mostly people acting brand new, as was stated earlier. It is easy to just filter it out though.

 

[Janet']

...maybe I just don't go into "those" threads...

 

[danysedai]

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)
Why have a problem with those threads? Beautful hair is beautiful hair. My sister has gorgeous thick and long natural hair so sometimes I read those threads to know what to buy for her when I go back home. My friend is has a twa and she's not a member here but I give her advice based on those threads. And many natural heads (as well as relaxed) are drool worthy.The majority of natural hair here is very pretty and I'm not talking about texture, to my eyes, sometimes the colour, the cut, the curl definition or lack of it making it a beautiful cottony halo that suits the face, those are the things that I like.

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?
Not all natural hair threads bash relaxed hair, some posters make comments like "you opened your eyes", "you saw the light" but I don't pay them any mind. Most natural ladies had relaxed hair, and many had healthy relaxed hair so they can talk about their experience as both.

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?
There is internet people and real life people, so I don't mind it one bit if that's their assumption. In real life people compliment my hair when it's done, whether it is curly or straight. In my sister's case,natural hair SUITS her, I can't imagine her with relaxed hair. In my case,although I dreamt yesterday of a BC where I just took scissors and hacked my edges off, I am overweight and IMHO, and again, MY opinion, I look better with a twa if I were slimmer and I have LOTS of grey hair in patches(and I don't want to transition). Besides, my husband doesn't want me with short hair(relaxed or natural) and although I was very upset about that and ready to go all feminist on him,he is my husband and he's entitled to his opinion as my partner.I'm not saying he'll leave me if I go short, but if he likes a specific aesthetic why not.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?
NO, not really. I also don't think it is a trend to be natural. Some people have been natural for YEARS. Others have realized that with the new tools and ceramic and ion technology, they can straighten their hair if they want to and have the appearance of relaxed hair without the chemicals.

I don't think you meant harm OP, I'm glad we can talk about this, that's the beauty of our hair, it is beautiful anyway you look at it.

 

[Miss AJ]

The reason i come to lhcf more than the other forums i belong to is because there's no separation of natural and relaxed by the forum creator, it's about helping black women grow long hair no matter how they choose to wear it. The problem comes when people base one being better over the other on their own head or any random jacked up head they see. Both natural and relaxed hair can be healthy or a hot mess. I love seeing a nice head of relaxed hair just as much as i love seeing a nice head of natural hair because it proves you don't HAVE to go natural to have long, healthy hair unless of course your hair doesn't do well with chemicals to begin with. Black women already have so many things to divide us, we don't need this natural vs relaxed thing to consume us too.

 

[Aggie]

I am A Mature, Relaxed, Confident Woman Totally Comfortable in My Own Skin.

I Do Me!

Oooooh LAWD! Exactly what she said!

 

[panamoni]

I've posted my comments below in blue.

With most of the board appearing to be natural, many going natural, and a lot of the material on here growing towards natural hair what do relaxed ladies think about:

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair) Not a problem.

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair? Knocking relaxed hair (mainly, people who choose to relaxe their hair) really peaves me. It's not necessary.

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)? Hate it. Unfounded, just as it would be for people making assumptions about people with natural hair.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board? Sometimes. Some posters, definitely.

This is really not meant to be a natural vs relaxed thing, so please there is no need to take it there

I'm just really curious about what relaxed ladies feel on these topics.

Please keep the peace!

 

[*Muffin*]

About a year or so ago when it seemed people were really starting to appreciate natural hair I felt a great deal of pressure to go natural just to fit in or feel like I was apart of something more profound than I was. It seemed like a lot of people were bashing relaxers and insinuating that those who continue to relax their hair are ignorant. I read one post where an individual said that they were trying to enlighten and spread wisdom to relaxed heads, and that those who continue to relax are obviously "unenlightened". I guess some people equate going natural with being more spiritual or finding out who they really are. I don't think a person has to go natural to achieve those things. I remember around the time when the Chris Rock "Good Hair" movie came out I was at the beauty supply store looking at relaxers and this girl came up to me with a smug look in her face and said "Did you see the Chris Rock movie?" I told her no, and she just kind of smirked and walked away. She had a head scarf/covering on so I couldn't tell if she was relaxed, natural, or transitioning. There's nothing wrong with loving and embracing who you are, but some people take it way too far. If a person cannot feel good about themselves without bashing someone who is opposite them, then that's a problem. Yes, relaxing is an "unnatural" process, but there are a lot of processes that are unnatural that people utilize, but doesn't carry the stigma that relaxing does (like coloring and BKT's). Beautiful hair is beautiful hair. To me, what a person does to attain the look they desire is their business. I love my hair and I'm sticking with what I'm doing .

P.S. I acknowledge that there was a time that natural hair carried a lot of stigma and that those with kinky/curly hair of African Descent weren't allowed to feel good about their natural hair texture. I'm glad we are living in a time where people are truly starting to embrace natural hair, because it is very beautiful.

 

[mzcris]

I'm relaxed and I have no plans on going natural..I'm going to do me

As for my natural sisters it doesn't bother me at all..I personally don't understand why some ppl get in an uproar about relaxed vs. natural anyway. Do what makes you happy and let's accept each other's beauty rather it's relaxed or natural