What Do Relaxed Ladies Think?

[Aviah]

With most of the board appearing to be natural, many going natural, and a lot of the material on here growing towards natural hair what do relaxed ladies think about:

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?

This is really not meant to be a natural vs relaxed thing, so please there is no need to take it there

I'm just really curious about what relaxed ladies feel on these topics.

Please keep the peace!

 

[*CherryPie*]

You know this is meant to be a natural vs. relaxed thread or you wouldn't have added that little warning.

I'm relaxed. I thought about going natural but I changed my mind because there's nothing wrong with my relaxed hair.

I don't really care about all of the natural vs. relaxed mess that stuff doesn't bother me. That stuff is so juvenile and "high school".

Who cares if somebody doesn't like my relaxed hair?

 

[Qualitee]

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair? Nothing wrong with appreciating natural hair but it doesnt mean you have to knock relaxed hair in the process.
People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)? I dont care. All because Im relaxed doesnt me I dont like myself.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board? No not really. Its just more natural heads here then it was in the past.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I am A Mature, Relaxed, Confident Woman Totally Comfortable in My Own Skin.

I Do Me!

 

[LushLox]

Fortunately I'm not too bothered about what other people think about the decisions I make about myself, I'm just trying to grow me some hair!

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

Wooh lawd.

You already know how some relaxed heads feel about the above stuff....it's been talked about ad nauseam for what feels like ages now.

 

[LadyRaider]

Relaxed hair is beautiful.

 

[Aviah]

Thanks for your input CherryPie, but I do not have energy for these kinds of debates. I know my intentions, and if anyone feels this is one of those threads please do not answer.

ChaosButterly,
Somehow I don't find these threads where people discuss it much. Maybe because I look at stuff more geared towards natural hair I don't see many responses from relaxed ladies.

 

[Minty]

That's interesting. Many naturals when they are new are just that - NEW. I am patient because I understand that when things are new and wonderful everything else is bad and ugly. Its just apart of life.

Many relaxed ladies are not new in the least. I have been natural and relaxed in my life - I love them both. I should not have to say that, but I do so because I understand some will not comprehend the love of one's hair - no matter what state it is in. Whether it be their own bad hair choices over the years, or their lack of hair knowledge, someone here thinks relaxer is the debil and anyone who uses it is confused.

I suppose the ignorance I see most on the board is the assumption that relaxed ladies are in some sort of denial or self-effacing/self-hatred/confused/delusional/"insert your insult here" behavior by choosing to relax their hair. It is only unfortunate for them as most relaxed heads (and I would say mostly all LHCF relaxed heads) are extremely secure with themselves and their hair choices, and only naturals who decide to disregard the advice of a "non-natural" loose out.

It does not bother me with the number of newly naturals on the board. Trends change all the time, and I'm sure the ladies that are old heads would be able to attest to this.

I say learn all you can and get in where you fit in.

 

[Americka]

With most of the board appearing to be natural, many going natural, and a lot of the material on here growing towards natural hair what do relaxed ladies think about:

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair) Maybe there are more newer threads that are aimed at natural hair, but there is a treasure trove of relaxed threads waiting to be explored in the archives.

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair? Not at all! Just because some of us are relaxed does not mean we cannot appreciate natural hair. A very close relative of mine has a beautiful white cottony soft twa. One of my male students came to school yesterday with a huge thick afro that made me drool. Why can't natural and relaxed ladies appreciate one another's differences?

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)? Perhaps this occurs in certain regions of the country, but no one has EVER approached me with that. I am more concerned about conforming to God's standards than anyone else's.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board? No. Is one supposed to be more superior than the other? Again, why can't we support one another, be it natural, relaxed, or texlaxed?

answers in purple... Please keep in mind this forum has over 100,00 members and only an average of 1000 are posting at any given time. Unless every member is polled, we do not have a exact calculation of the number of ladies that are relaxed vs natural. And again, it does not matter...

 

[MsLizziA]

Thanks for your input CherryPie, but I do not have energy for these kinds of debates. I know my intentions, and if anyone feels this is one of those threads please do not answer.

You know this is meant to be a natural vs. relaxed thread or you wouldn't have added that little warning.

I'm relaxed. I thought about going natural but I changed my mind because there's nothing wrong with my relaxed hair.

I don't really care about all of the natural vs. relaxed mess that stuff doesn't bother me. That stuff is so juvenile and "high school".

Who cares if somebody doesn't like my relaxed hair?

I def don't think this thread was meant for that. I know what Aviah meant. Things can take a left turn so quickly and she just had to establish that she meant no harm

 

[Toy]

I am A Mature, Relaxed, Confident Woman Totally Comfortable in My Own Skin.

I Do Me!

Exactly!!!I couldn't have said it better.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

I have noticed there are a lot of BC and Natural topic threads as of late. But I have NOT seen any negativity geared towards relaxed ladies.

As a Natural, I appreciate healthy long relaxed hair on this board. Its fun to look at something different besides the natural hair I see in the mirror everyday!

We all have one common goal and that's long healthy hair, that's all that matters, well to me anyways!

 

[beans4reezy]

Threads aimed at appreciating natural hair? (there seems to be not as much of this for relaxed hair)
I think it is absolutely wonderful that natural hair is celebrated on this board. We live in a society that encourages self hate for African Americans, so even as a relaxed head, it is wonderful to see us celebrating one of the features that make us distinct. I am all up in those threads, drooling over the beauty of natural AA hair. The fact that I am relaxed doesn't make me dislike Natural hair threads- that would be narrow minded and silly.

Appreciating natural hair that spills into knocking relaxed hair?
That's a different story. You can celebrate the beauty of natural hair and respect my choice to be relaxed at the same time. Knocking anyone's preferences is juvenile.

People making assumptions about you (personality wise) conforming to Western society because of relaxer use (as well as other presumptions about your character)?
I have been relaxed since childhood, I have friends of all races, and a majority of my colleagues are not Black- I have never once run into any assumptions made about my personality based on my relaxed hair. At the end of the day, people got a lot more going on in their lives other than hair.

Do you feel there is a negative undertone attached to being relaxed on the board?
At times yes, but I am here to grow my hair to longer lengths so quite frankly- I don't care

This is really not meant to be a natural vs relaxed thing, so please there is no need to take it there
These questions are thought provoking and should encourage healthy dialogue, I'm sure we'll keep it friendly.

See answers above

 

[*CherryPie*]

You know EXACTLY what you're doing.

You know that this is one of those threads.

I hate when people go natural, then start putting down relaxed hair. Y'all were not singing that toon when y'all were relaxed. But now y'all hair is better than ours because y'all are natural? NO way! I've seen WAY TOO MANY jacked up natural heads around here.

Thanks for your input CherryPie, but I do not have energy for these kinds of debates. I know my intentions, and if anyone feels this is one of those threads please do not answer.

ChaosButterly,
Somehow I don't find these threads where people discuss it much. Maybe because I look at stuff more geared towards natural hair I don't see many responses from relaxed ladies.

 

[pookaloo83]

You know EXACTLY what you're doing.

You know that this is one of those threads.

I hate when people go natural, then start putting down relaxed hair. Y'all were not singing that toon when y'all were relaxed. But now y'all hair is better than ours because y'all are natural? NO way! I've seen WAY TOO MANY jacked up natural heads around here.

As of right now, YOU are making it the thread that you're afraid it's gonna be. If you don't like the tone of this thread KIM.

 

[MsLizziA]

Ummm.... i see a lock coming on

 

[Aviah]

That's interesting. Many naturals when they are new are just that - NEW. I am patient because I understand that when things are new and wonderful everything else is bad and ugly. Its just apart of life.

Many relaxed ladies are not new in the least. I have been natural and relaxed in my life - I love them both. I should not have to say that, but I do so because I understand some will not comprehend the love of one's hair - no matter what state it is in. Whether it be their own bad hair choices over the years, or their lack of hair knowledge, someone here thinks relaxer is the debil and anyone who uses it is confused.

I suppose the ignorance I see most on the board is the assumption that relaxed ladies are in some sort of denial or self-effacing/self-hatred/confused/delusional/"insert your insult here" behavior by choosing to relax their hair. It is only unfortunate for them as most relaxed heads (and I would say mostly all LHCF relaxed heads) are extremely secure with themselves and their hair choices, and only naturals who decide to disregard the advice of a "non-natural" loose out.

It does not bother me with the number of newly naturals on the board. Trends change all the time, and I'm sure the ladies that are old heads would be able to attest to this.

I say learn all you can and get in where you fit in.

Very insightful post. I understand that when things are new people think its the greatest, and that's fine. Still, the ladies on LHCF know all of what they could do with their natural hair, if they choose to relax, I would simply say it is a preference. It sounds almost like a backlash against the previous trend, and may attack those who still relax, which is just as of poor judgement as to attack a natural.
In that respect, it really is just hair.

 

[spelmanlocks]

I have been both natural and relaxed and the only person that needs to be happy with your hair choices is you. In truth most of our daily life is probably full of western standards, from the food we eat to how we dress, so the conforming to western standards argument is pointless to me.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I'll KIM when i'm ready. LOL

As of right now, YOU are making it the thread that you're afraid it's gonna be. If you don't like the tone of this thread KIM.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I like being relaxed. If I wanted natural hair, then I'd do it. To each their own. This isn't a contest. Life's too short.

Whether you straighten your hair via chemicals or heat, it's straightened hair. I don't see the big deal. The only difference is the means. A few posters do not represent all.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

You know EXACTLY what you're doing.

You know that this is one of those threads.

I hate when people go natural, then start putting down relaxed hair. Y'all were not singing that toon when y'all were relaxed. But now y'all hair is better than ours because y'all are natural? NO way! I've seen WAY TOO MANY jacked up natural heads around here.

It doesn't have to be "one of those threads". I don't think the OP meant it in that way CP.

 

[Aviah]

You know EXACTLY what you're doing.

You know that this is one of those threads.

I hate when people go natural, then start putting down relaxed hair. Y'all were not singing that toon when y'all were relaxed. But now y'all hair is better than ours because y'all are natural? NO way! I've seen WAY TOO MANY jacked up natural heads around here.

Wow, lol. I see nothing negative about relaxed hair here.

 

[Poranges]

Lmao. I don't give a damn...as long as my hair keeps growing & thriving I'm fine.

 

[beans4reezy]

I hate when people go natural, then start putting down relaxed hair. Y'all were not singing that toon when y'all were relaxed. But now y'all hair is better than ours because y'all are natural? NO way! I've seen WAY TOO MANY jacked up natural heads around here.

Oh dear. Here we go...

 

[MsBoinglicious]

Oh dear. Here we go...

Girl, its not even Sunday yet lol

 

[Aviah]

answers in purple... Please keep in mind this forum has over 100,00 members and only an average of 1000 are posting at any given time. Unless every member is polled, we do not have a exact calculation of the number of ladies that are relaxed vs natural. And again, it does not matter...

I loved your response. I too appreciate all healthy hair, and do understand that unfortunately not everyone is polled. Thus why I said it seemed that was what the board was.

 

[CurlTalk]

When I first started lurking here, I was a relaxed head; there was and is plentiful information on caring for relaxed hair on here, and I never felt any animosity towards relaxed hair.

However, when I peeked into the natural threads, and started stalking natural fotkis, I got curious about my own hair and what I'd look chemical free, rocking what God gave me (in terms of hair). I then began my transition. My decision had less to do with a sense of negativity toward natural hair, and more to do with my own curiosity and desire to see the au naturel me.

 

[Minty]

That's great CurlTalk. I'm so happy that LHCF helped you. And this exactly what it is supposed to do, help women make good hair choices (and other things).

 

[Twix]

Thanks for your input CherryPie, but I do not have energy for these kinds of debates. I know my intentions, and if anyone feels this is one of those threads please do not answer.

ChaosButterly,
Somehow I don't find these threads where people discuss it much. Maybe because I look at stuff more geared towards natural hair I don't see many responses from relaxed ladies.

Thaaaat's because they usually get nasty and locked or deleted Very Very Quickly.