No He Didn't Bust on my Messy Bun!! (PICS)

[Hairsnob]

MEN!!! Aaargh!! Yesterday I wore my hair in a messy bun. I put it in a loose ponytail and wrapped track hair around it as I always do. The track is a pretty good match too. Well it was really windy and I was getting out the car to go pay for my gas. There was a guy in line behind me and I could feel him staring at me, my hair especially. Don't ask me how I know but I have really good peripheral vision. I was thinking, why is he all up in my hair like that? I was thinking, did my track come loose or something?

So he says to me, are you having a bad day? I said no, why do you ask? He said it looks like you've been running or something. I said huh? Why do you say that? He said because your hair is all over the place or something like that. I said that's my style, it's called wild and free and I like it like that. So then he tried to clean it up and say, wild and free huh, it looks nice on you though. I just said thanks and hurried and got back in the car to make sure nothing was hanging off and it was perfectly fine!!

Here I am thinking I'm all cute and all and to me, the more messy the bun the better. But what in the world is it with men and them not understanding that a bun can be a classy or cute style??? erplexed My BF isn't crazy about buns either and I brought that up on here several times and even mentioned that King of Queens episode LOL. But it just seems like what we think is cute is TOTALLY different from what they think.

Here are some pics of my hair today. Now this is exactly how I had it yesterday but the wind might have allowed a few more pieces to fall. But to me, the more pieces that fall the better it looks.

Look at the attached pics and tell me I'm not crazy because I think it looks fine.

ETA: Here's a link to the post that has the King of Queens "Bun Dummy Episode". That was too funny!
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=9154256

 

[BellaLunie]

I see nothing wrong with it but I might be biased because I like messy buns as well

 

[ChristmasCarol]

That's a very nice bun. Dude was trippin'.

 

[nikki2229]

Looks fine to me.

 

[FlowerHair]

Your bun looks very nice!

May I ask if the "gentleman" was very trendy or seemed to be a fashion oracle himself? Something tells me he wasn't.

I think he just wanted to talk to you, you know how some guys in school used to tease the girls they really liked?

 

[NikStarrr]

The bun is cute, but men don't always *get* some of our (women) trends/likes/etc (messy? on purpose? haha). So us girls at times look cute to EACH OTHER, while the men are like WTH. lol

 

[Chameleonchick]

Goodness your hair looks fine. He was just a loser, lol.

 

[MsLizziA]

So true... i even had a guy tell me one time that we go through all that trouble to look good for each other

But i think its really cute.. not sure what he was looking at..

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

Yeah, I love messy buns too. I feel like women get it but men don't. imo extra polished buns aren't for the daily. I use to wear my buns messy on a regular day and then more polished if for an event. But anyway, your hair looks good.

I have to say though, why do some people say things like that? I just don't think his comments were even necessary and I know I would've been annoyed. He should've kept it to himself lol

 

[ConstantlyDynamic]

Your bun looks very nice!

May I ask if the "gentleman" was very trendy or seemed to be a fashion oracle himself? Something tells me he wasn't.

I think he just wanted to talk to you, you know how some guys in school used to tease the girls they really liked?

I was just wondering that! Strangers usually talk to you for a reason. Maybe he thought he could spark a convo, get a number, etc. but then felt like he might have offended you and he left it alone.

 

[ms.blue]

Looks good to me.

 

[KittyMeowMeow]

Looks good to me...

There is a pick up tactic, don't remember what it's called but it's based on some book. Anyway, one of the techniques is called giving a "neg". This means saying something slightly negative about an attractive woman to pick her up. Laaaaaame, but that's probably what was going on.

This kind of explains it:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/01/29/neg-theory/

 

[swirl]

guys.don't.like.buns.period.

 

[Duchesse]

Looks good to me...

There is a pick up tactic, don't remember what it's called but it's based on some book. Anyway, one of the techniques is called giving a "neg". This means saying something slightly negative about an attractive woman to pick her up. Laaaaaame, but that's probably what was going on.

This kind of explains it:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/01/29/neg-theory/

I just read that link....can we say LOSERS!

I'm thinking back on this guy I used to talk to.....hmmm...he did use these subtle "negging" techniques.

But your bun looks cute and healthy.

 

[wavezncurlz]

cute! I too think it was a come-on.

 

[Love~Above~Color]

It IS a cute bun! It looks like a quickie bun...you just pulled your hair up, twisted it around itself...secured it and went on your way. LOVE that type of style. Like you're not all into your hair...lol, but you are!
Looking forward to the day when I can achieve the same look!

 

[lana]

I would ONLY worry about this comment if your significant other cared one way or the other about your hair. My DH likes a clean bun, so that's what I wear. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other, so why not try it his way? He wears his hair the way I like it, just because I asked him to and so I try to do the same for him. He used to wear a low afro and now he wears it basketball low. I love his hair! So glad he made the switch just to please me. So on the occassion where I wear a bun (three days before wash day). It's not TIGHT, but it is neat and tidy and he thinks it's soooo attractive.

But this was a RANDOM stranger...so no, I wouldn't pay any attention to what he said and YES, I do think he was trying to hit on you by striking up a conversation.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

You should have told him he had an "L" on his forehead.

 

[Nia430]

Im a fan of the messy bun so I think it looks nice. But I do agree with what people said some men use that as a way to talk to you saying something negative to get a response and continue a convo. I had someone do that to me this weekend a guy called me afrocentric just because my hair was down and not bone st8 after I looked at him a certain way he tried to say oh but I like it. At the end of the day he just wanted your attention.

 

[Barbie83]

I heart messy buns! Some men just don't get it

And that King of Queens episode was pure hilarity!

 

[Hairsnob]

Your bun looks very nice!

May I ask if the "gentleman" was very trendy or seemed to be a fashion oracle himself? Something tells me he wasn't.

I think he just wanted to talk to you, you know how some guys in school used to tease the girls they really liked?

Thanks! He wasn't anything I'd give a second look at LOL. I hope that's the case that he only wanted to start a conversation. But uggh, could he come up with something better than that?? LOL

The bun is cute, but men don't always *get* some of our (women) trends/likes/etc (messy? on purpose? haha). So us girls at times look cute to EACH OTHER, while the men are like WTH. lol

So true... i even had a guy tell me one time that we go through all that trouble to look good for each other

But i think its really cute.. not sure what he was looking at..

Yeah, I love messy buns too. I feel like women get it but men don't. imo extra polished buns aren't for the daily. I use to wear my buns messy on a regular day and then more polished if for an event. But anyway, your hair looks good.

I have to say though, why do some people say things like that? I just don't think his comments were even necessary and I know I would've been annoyed. He should've kept it to himself lol

Thanks! I was thinking the same thing and now I think it's true of how we go out oof our way to look good when only women notice. I don't think men know the difference between a cheap shoe and one we pay top dollar for LOL. But a woman can spot em!! And yeah, I was more embarassed at first until I saw it looked fine. I remember wanting to tell him yeah, but it's all MY hair so shut up. But it wasn't LOL.

Looks good to me...

There is a pick up tactic, don't remember what it's called but it's based on some book. Anyway, one of the techniques is called giving a "neg". This means saying something slightly negative about an attractive woman to pick her up. Laaaaaame, but that's probably what was going on.

This kind of explains it:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/01/29/neg-theory/

I can't wait to check this link. How in the world do they think that a negative thing would work?? I guess setting it up so that they seem like a challenge for you???

I was just wondering that! Strangers usually talk to you for a reason. Maybe he thought he could spark a convo, get a number, etc. but then felt like he might have offended you and he left it alone.

They need to think of some better lines than that because that really did embarass me. I remember thinking, is sweat running down my face or something when he asked if I was running.

 

[Hairsnob]

guys.don't.like.buns.period.

I'm REALLY starting to believe this!!

 

[Hairsnob]

Im a fan of the messy bun so I think it looks nice. But I do agree with what people said some men use that as a way to talk to you saying something negative to get a response and continue a convo. I had someone do that to me this weekend a guy called me afrocentric just because my hair was down and not bone st8 after I looked at him a certain way he tried to say oh but I like it. At the end of the day he just wanted your attention.

That's too funny! Sometimes I guess they really don't have a clue on what to say out of their mouths!!

 

[Hairsnob]

You should have told him he had an "L" on his forehead.

That would have been a good comeback!!! LOL

 

[bbdgirl]

Well I really like that bun, nice and loose...cool

 

[Hairsnob]

Looks good to me...

There is a pick up tactic, don't remember what it's called but it's based on some book. Anyway, one of the techniques is called giving a "neg". This means saying something slightly negative about an attractive woman to pick her up. Laaaaaame, but that's probably what was going on.

This kind of explains it:
http://www.tsbmag.com/2006/01/29/neg-theory/

Darn, I can't open this website from work. It's blocked.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Oh please...your hair looks absolutely fine!

That guy was just trying to talk to you. I would have said: "Well I don't care what your opinion is so...."

 

[Britt]

I think messy buns are so cute ! Yours looks good in the pic attached. But as some of the women here have already mentioned, men don't get buns.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

Most men are clueless when it comes to hair. I think he was just trying to strike up a conversation...he failed in the way he did it BUT he did at least try to make up for it

As long as you like it no one else's opinion matter....I think its lovely!

 

[Hairsnob]

I would ONLY worry about this comment if your significant other cared one way or the other about your hair. My DH likes a clean bun, so that's what I wear. It doesn't matter to me one way or the other, so why not try it his way? He wears his hair the way I like it, just because I asked him to and so I try to do the same for him. He used to wear a low afro and now he wears it basketball low. I love his hair! So glad he made the switch just to please me. So on the occassion where I wear a bun (three days before wash day). It's not TIGHT, but it is neat and tidy and he thinks it's soooo attractive.

But this was a RANDOM stranger...so no, I wouldn't pay any attention to what he said and YES, I do think he was trying to hit on you by striking up a conversation.

I totally agree. My BF doesn't particularly care for them but I explained about PS and he was pretty cool about it. I just don't wear it around him often. When I go to his place it's usually on the weekend after it's washed and flat-ironed and the compromise is the next day I'll do a bun or try to hold onto whatever curls are left. I don't know how it would work if we saw each other daily though because it would be hard to PS. But I think 3-4 days of buns is a good compromise.

But yeah, what the BF likes matters and not that stranger. I try my best to be pleasing for his eyes and I'm just like you where I appreciate when they do the same. Like when he cut off his beard and I told him I liked it with the beard and asked him to grow it back and he did.