luthiengirlie
Well-Known Member
this thread is BEYOND on time for me.. WHOOP WHOOP.. I am just so shocked.. when i was tagged my spirit said.. I needed this... thank you.. YHWH does all things in proper time
I'm not an expert by any means about the Bible or being a wife since I'm single and am only recently getting into the Bible seriously, but at church their interpretation of being submissive is that a woman should be submissive because she should marry a man worth being submissive to... meaning he's a good man and has enough heart, strength, and moral/common sense that you want to listen to him and don't have to correct him.
I like to think of myself as being an independent woman, but I like that idea. Being with a man who can give my mind a vacation from all of the planning and thinking because I trust and know he'll make good decisions would be nice.
Thank you so much for the tag @ Stephluv! I am learning so much from reading this great thread.
I am still new at this, so I will share what I have so far...
13. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.
I am personally challenged when it comes to sewing, knitting or things like this. But I found the knifty knitter. At work, during breaks, lunch and any spare time, I knitted him the thickest, warmest scarf. I presented him with this on a very cold winter day. He was so deeply touched.
25. She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
Laughter is sooo important. There have been so many stressful situations throughout our time together (family/in-laws/drama). A lot of praying and wise Godly counsel have allowed me to get what I need to keep from telling him about what I really want to say about my in-laws . He knows I would be right, if I chose to go there. But I have learned to handle the situations that bring us (family) together with strength and dignity. We pray together for these times, and laughter (if you look real hard, you can find the humor) has carried us through.
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
I love to read and study. My husband does also. We don't always agree on issues. I have learned not to stand-off in long debates. I have learned to hold my peace until the opening for "golden nuggets of wisdom" presents itself. The magic words: So honey, what do you think?
20. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.
Hubby and I are both involved in inner-city missions. This is what I did before I met him and this is where his heart is also. Because it is our passion, we get to see each other in a different light. There are times when I can see his chest swell or his eyes well up when he sees me in this light.
I believe developing your gifting and being where God has called you to is fulfilling, and therefore attractive to your mate/husband.
As far as home goes, I am "tidy", but hubby is neat and organized. We appreciate our differences. But when he goes out on Monday nights to Men's Class, I spruce up the house. That has been my time to re-arrange or redecorate if it's a new season. If not, I use that time to clean. I take that time to go around the home worshipping, anointing, and praying for him and our marriage, and any other prayer concerns the family has. Then I light candles, play soft music, and set the mood for his return. He appreciates that very much.
And meals? I love to cook and we are getting into healthy eating habits. Hubby has a sweet tooth and loves junk food, and green smoothies were not working for him. So the internet has been my best friend. I have found great recipes that have him raving. He doesn't always know what he's eating, but as long as it is presented well and tastes good, he is happy! I make all of his doctor's appointments and send him. (He was never into this, but is happy to go now).
We pray together and read devotionals together every day. We have date night (Tuesdays - movies, bowling, walks in the park, reading in the car and listening to music, etc.), and get away once a month (Priceline/Hotwire- something cheap, nice and AWAY!). I usually plan and he loves it.
One key thing I have learned also. PRAISE is so important. I praise him in front of people when the opportunity presents itself. But I get extra kudos when I know he is in earshot of a conversation I am having (on the phone with my mother or someone) and I praise him and he doesn't know I know he is there.
I prayed the prayer Shimmie posted in another thread. I can't find it right now, but hopefully Shimmie will remind us.
Shimmie's prayer she blessed us with
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=96564&highlight=prayers+for+marriage
I said Shimmies prayer...........no shame in my game!
SN: Sooo I saw this on FB
Ask yourself...will the man or woman you're about to marry draw you closer to God?...or push you farther away?
If the answer isn't "closer," you're about to make biggest, most disastrous mistake of your life.
Any comments beautiful wives and wives to be? I only ask this because I know right now I am not where I want to be in my spiritual life but I do know where I want to be... in the past I think i've had guys let me go because I wasnt the submissive woman they wanted but I know one day I will be that woman
stephluv
Men nowadays want submissiveness without them sacrificing anything. Puhleaseeeeee.
I will say this, once God gives you your mate, you will not hesitate to want to be submissive to him! My friend who is known for being strong headed, stubborn and very opinionated when she was single is now a submissive, family oriented, person who still is opinionated but her heart for her husband gave her that motivation to want to submit.
Keeping his clothes clean and smelling good. Take the clothes to the dry cleaners (ie: shirts, suits, pants...etc.) and make sure that you don't have to ask him "do you need your stuff cleaned" just do it and make sure every time he goes into the closet, he has clean clothes to put on. Make sure to press whatever he needs too.
Do a little bit every day. By the time Saturday comes around, you are only doing a little and you have more time for him and to pamper yourself.
When I worked outside the home, I would come home in the evening and do a little bit of housework...whether it was dusting, vacuuming, or a load of laundry. I made sure to use that time as an extension of my work day and then I would rest. By the time Saturday rolled around, I would do very little...usually sweeping and mopping and then I was done. The house was clean and I could just rest and relax.
You have to get into a pattern of always doing it weekly that way, you are not overwhelmed with doing so much on one day....
In my observation many women put a great deal of effort into their appearance hair, dress make-up etc., and once they get married everything goes to pot. Remember your physical appearance is one of the things that made you attractive to your husband.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)
My father has always drilled into my head, the significance of a woman's hands. He said a woman's hands should be soft, neat, manicured, and inviting to the touch. I've noticed that when my nails are long, my mannerisms change. I become more feminine in my body language. I know part of it is because I'm being careful not to chip my nail. However, the other aspect is that I FEEL more feminine. When they're short, broken, or stubby, I'm a bit more rough. My movements don't seem as elegant.
It's interesting that you mentioned dresses specifically. My husband loves it when I wear dresses. I feel more feminine and beautiful in dresses than pants. I have actually been considering making the change to wearing primarily dresses and skirts (note: this is not for religious/spiritual reasons but personal preference of how I'd like to embrace femininity. My daughter also loves to wear dresses and she likes it when mommy wears them too). I think men like to see women wear dresses because it reminds them or our femininity and beauty as well.
I have already posted way too much, but I felt compelled to add:
If you are reading books pertaining to marriage and/or motherhood as you prepare for your blessing....just know that it is imperative that the books you read must be written from a Christian perspective. The world holds no wisdom for a child of God in relation to marriage and parenting. I will post some good book titles later, but if you pray and ask God to lead you in this area, He will lead you to the resources you need.
Thanks for the tag.
Keep your home tranquil and pesceful. Your husband should enjoy being home , away from the negativity prevalent in the world.
Never speak negatively about your husband or marriage to anyone.
Don't alow negative thoughts against your husband or your marriag, even durung the rough times.
Always encourage your husband in his career pursuits or ministries.
Hold his hand, smile at him, tell him what a great man he is, pray with him and for him.
Schedule date nights.
Take vacation together.
Live on less than you earn. My father always says there is nothing like a young couple who can't go out because they're broke and are sitting at home squabbling about money.
I am not married but I would like to share what I have learned since I have been on a "prepare myself to be a wife" challenge for several months.
Tips:
*Neat and simple in terms of looks and style is the best road to go.
*Keep for your shoes and feet in order, men do notice.
*For ladies who wear nail polish look into gel nails, they last a lot longer then regular polish : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ZG304qerk
*Ask for their advice and follow it. If it was a bad idea, do not tell then that just let it go and find a different solution.
*Learn to cook from scratch.
*If you know what vitamin your husband is deficient in try to cook foods that are high in it.
*Be financially savvy. Buying in bulk and have a coupon book is the way to go.
*Have date nights.
*Allow him to watch the game in peace and quiet. If something needs to be done ask him before the game, do it yourself, or wait until later. This is advice I received from a man. He said to me that a women will typically leaves a man alone for the entire day but when the game starts she is requesting everything under the sun. They find it to be very annoying. Men love to help us but when they want their time they want their time.
*Pick your battles. The phrase "we need to talk" should be used only in very serious situations.
I have a questions for you ladies. When a man showing his vulnerable side what is the proper way of responding. How do we let them know that it is ok to be that open with us and no judgement is being passed.
I am not married but I would like to share what I have learned since I have been on a "prepare myself to be a wife" challenge for several months.
Tips:
*Neat and simple in terms of looks and style is the best road to go.
*Keep for your shoes and feet in order, men do notice.
*For ladies who wear nail polish look into gel nails, they last a lot longer then regular polish : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4ZG304qerk
*Ask for their advice and follow it. If it was a bad idea, do not tell then that just let it go and find a different solution.
*Learn to cook from scratch.
*If you know what vitamin your husband is deficient in try to cook foods that are high in it.
*Be financially savvy. Buying in bulk and have a coupon book is the way to go.
*Have date nights.
*Allow him to watch the game in peace and quiet. If something needs to be done ask him before the game, do it yourself, or wait until later. This is advice I received from a man. He said to me that a women will typically leaves a man alone for the entire day but when the game starts she is requesting everything under the sun. They find it to be very annoying. Men love to help us but when they want their time they want their time.
*Pick your battles. The phrase "we need to talk" should be used only in very serious situations.
I have a questions for you ladies. When a man showing his vulnerable side what is the proper way of responding. How do we let them know that it is ok to be that open with us and no judgement is being passed.
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I will be married for ten years in November, but I am by no means an expert. Marriage is a beautiful journey with a beloved friend, confidant, lover, co-parent, and brother in Christ (not necessarily in the order I have listed--lol). Let your husband know he can be open with you by responding correctly when he is open. Don't berate him, pout due to his differing opinions, or act out when he shares his heart with you. Men do not generally like to be "forced" to open up and talk. Those "we need to talk" conversations are not usually at all comfortable for them. They open up when they are ready. Pray that God will give you the right words, countenance, body language when communicating with your husband. When there is an issue that needs to be discussed, pray first that God will provide the right timing for the conversation and make both of your hearts fertile ground for whatever truth must be shared. Ask God to help you respect him.
Men view the respect of their wife as evidence of her love for him. This is not their only measure but it is a very, very important measure. When your husband opens up, praise him for trusting you. Show him that you are trustworthy by not revealing his vulnerable moments to others (whether he knows about it or not). Speak favorably of him to others. Praise in public and deal with any issues in private. This helps the heart of your husband to "trust in you confidently and rely on and believe in you securely, so that he has no lack of gain or need of spoil" --Proverbs 31:11.
Also...don't make everything a serious issue. Your husband is human and he will make mistakes, have habits that differ from yours and may annoy you, and he will have a bad day sometimes. Ask God to help you forgive, find the positives, appreciate God's own handiwork in creating your husband, and don't become vested in always being right.
Men delight in making their wives happy. They want to be her champion; the knight on the white horse. Let him be a man. Let him love and protect you. Ask God to help you delight in taking care of your man. Make him your first priority after God. BTW...sex is important. Marital intimacy is an important way that men connect with their wives. When they feel connected...they open up. This is not an exhaustive list, because I am not an expert but your husband learns to trust you when you do these things. When he trusts you and feels respected, he opens up. It will be natural and not contrived in any way. It will be authentic.
I am not married but I would like to share what I have learned since I have been on a "prepare myself to be a wife" challenge for several months.
I have a questions for you ladies. When a man showing his vulnerable side what is the proper way of responding. How do we let them know that it is ok to be that open with us and no judgement is being passed.