Setback Thread

[faithVA]

I don't want to be in the setback club no more

 

[MsEveMarie]

What products are you using that don't contain protein? tia

So far the Shea Moisture line has been very good to me! I use:

coconut and hibiscus curl & shine shampoo, curling smoothie, and the souffle. I also use the black soap purification mask as a DC. My other moisturizing DC is from jessicurl's - their deep treatment. I alternate every other wash b/t the two conditioners.

Now mind you all of this stuff does contain a protein, its very hard to find products that don't ...but I found the key for me is WATER! I have to water down everything so that it's not to harsh.

For instance: I'll use an ounce of shampoo with 7 ounces of water. Also, as I'm applying my DC's, I make sure my a spray bottle of water is handy. If I'm not spraying my hair with water/ its not still damp enough from the wash...then my conditioners suck and turn my hair to straw. I also spray w/water before applying styling products (smoothie and souffle).

 

[MsEveMarie]

It is the only thing that I can think of. I don't have anything else in my regimen I can exclude.

I DC every week.
I moisturize and seal.
I don't do heat.
My hair is in protective styles 95% of the time.
I wear a satin bonnet every night.
I don't use any cones.
I use mostly natural products.

I think I started my healthy hair journey off wrong trying to balance moisture protein, doing moisture one week and protein the next. I don't think my hair has every recovered.

My hair is never that mushy feeling people have described. So the only thing I can think of is letting go of all protein. Let's see if my hair ever feels mushy. I don't think I can save the hair that is already damaged though.

Oh wow this sounds just like me around Fall of last year, I was at my wits end seeing everyone come to the board and flourish..except me and I've been lurking here since 2007! I really think you should also stop with the oiling b/c I read most of the oils we use contain protein.

 

[faithVA]

Thanks ladies for all of the suggestions. So there doesn't seem to be anything perfect solutions, so will have to try to pick what I think is the least worse solution

I have tried most of the products mentioned. And I don't think its realistic at this time to find a product without all of the stuff my hair dislikes. I am going to stick with cowashing and use the products that I have on hand and just keep an eye on it. I will play around with oils/butters to seal my ends because otherwise they will be worse than they are now.

So I will see how it goes.

 

[30something]

I experience a set back for over a year back in 2010-2011 from relaxers. My hair already had been thinned out greatly from relaxers but when I started to get "serious" with my hair is when I started to experience significant breakage. I swore away stylist and started to self relaxed, big mistake.. I didn't have enough experience with working with resistant hair and I couldn't get my new growth straight for the life of me.. not even slightly textlaxed.. so I pretty much permed my hair 3 times in a 7 week span. First was my self relax failure, second was \a week later with my self relax failure #2, and few weeks later was my relaxer at the hair salon. Nothing I did really fixed anything, no protein, no molasses treatment, no black tea, no co washing or deep conditioning. My hair is so wrecked because my own stupidity. I eventually just stop relaxing in late 2010 and my hair finally became healthy and about 3 times more thicker. No more brink of tears.. and counting the broken hairs. I could come around from that terror then I think anyone else can. I still fall to my own vices, of course because I'll always be me but I now I'm more aware of my limitations in the scope of chemical processing.

 

[MsEveMarie]

Thanks ladies for all of the suggestions. So there doesn't seem to be anything perfect solutions, so will have to try to pick what I think is the least worse solution

I have tried most of the products mentioned. And I don't think its realistic at this time to find a product without all of the stuff my hair dislikes. I am going to stick with cowashing and use the products that I have on hand and just keep an eye on it. I will play around with oils/butters to seal my ends because otherwise they will be worse than they are now.

So I will see how it goes.

Agreed. That's what I had to end up doing. I was tempted to make my own but ur was just too much work lol. Just make sure if your leave in product has aloe, its further down on the list...aloe is evil lol. And of course all cones which I believe would include the tresseme that ur using

 

[LexiDior]

It may be worth it to make your own products. you can find all kinds of recipes by googling. And im sure your hair will thank you for it lol

 

[faithVA]

MsEveMarie[/USER];16219085]Agreed. That's what I had to end up doing. I was tempted to make my own but ur was just too much work lol. Just make sure if your leave in product has aloe, its further down on the list...aloe is evil lol. And of course all cones which I believe would include the tresseme that ur using

Thanks. I will keep my eye on the aloe. And yeah I would probably just shave my head again if I had to make all of my products. Its not my thing.

I got rid of cones 2 years ago. So that one is easy. It is probably the only thing I have managed to get out of my regimen.

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

Caught a really bad setback before it got Really Bad. I don't really think the WnG's were the problem, but the Denman & using too much product definitely were. I was looking for breakage and split ends, but I should have been paying more attention to thinning. Now my crown is feeling Sparse...bloody hell. Now no more WnG's for the rest of the summer...

 

[carolb21]

I am the setback queen. I always recover but I always manager to set myself back again. My last setback was in January. Then before that early summer of 2011. My goal this year is to go one year with no setback. January 2013, here I come.

Keen

Girl....This sounds like me. .....

*glad i'm not the only one*

This thread has been eye-opening.

No, both of you are wrong, I am the Ultimate Setback Queen........
I would weave my hair up and it would grow, thicken up and be healthy. Of course I would relax in an effort to get swanging hair, trying every product anybody would recommend. What followed was breakage, breakage, breakage.......
I would back up, protecting it from me.

I was blessed in October, 2008 to get an appointment with Reniece and grew my hair to the length in my Avatar in 2 plus years, it was gorgeous. My sister's eight year battle with cancer ended in May 2011 and I was devastated. She always encouraged me to stay natural and just get blowouts or flat iron my hair. I am very active, doing Bikram Yoga 4-5 times a week and the heat plus natural hair was too much for me to handle, I grew tired trying to maintain any semblance of a style. But instead of weaving it up, which is the easiest way to take care of my hair, I jumped on the Zerran bandwagon and suffered a major setback from heat damage. Reniece weaved my hair back up in August of last year......

Fast forward to April and that yearning desire for swanging hair, so I let my girlfriend convince me to relax with the guy she uses......I could hear my sister saying "Oh no, don't do it!", while I was sitting in the chair but it was too late. I had a consultation, had really conditioned my hair for a week before going and it still broke like crazy...... He relaxed me bone straight when I asked to be more texlaxed, I cried in his chair and he sad I was being dramatic. Oh it was beautiful for about two weeks and then it fell off my head so fast I had a trash can full of hair. It broke off so bad in the back and seemed to be overprocessed because it was soooo straight. I conditioned, stayed away from heat and wore wigs in an attempt to salvage my hair. Had I listened to my sister I would be almost 4 years natural and probably BSL, instead of NL & EL......

I am now weaved back up and starting over again for the hundredth time......
Well it seems that way. I will never relax my hair again as long as I live. I love my weaves and the low maintenance and of course Reniece always has my hair looking great. She is a blessing and really knows how to grow hair. I will keep my hair moisturized and condition under my weave and look forward to the next two years.....so do I win or what.............

But the support from everyone on the board is great. I don't post much, but I love to lurk. I keep saying it's just hair and it will grow back...........

 

[LexiDior]

carolb21
Now you know what NOT to do!! Good luck in the future with your hair journey.

faithVA

I love to mix things so the idea of making my own products sounds amazing to me.

 

[Keen]

No, both of you are wrong, I am the Ultimate Setback Queen........
I would weave my hair up and it would grow, thicken up and be healthy. Of course I would relax in an effort to get swanging hair, trying every product anybody would recommend. What followed was breakage, breakage, breakage.......
I would back up, protecting it from me.

I was blessed in October, 2008 to get an appointment with Reniece and grew my hair to the length in my Avatar in 2 plus years, it was gorgeous. My sister's eight year battle with cancer ended in May 2011 and I was devastated. She always encouraged me to stay natural and just get blowouts or flat iron my hair. I am very active, doing Bikram Yoga 4-5 times a week and the heat plus natural hair was too much for me to handle, I grew tired trying to maintain any semblance of a style. But instead of weaving it up, which is the easiest way to take care of my hair, I jumped on the Zerran bandwagon and suffered a major setback from heat damage. Reniece weaved my hair back up in August of last year......

Fast forward to April and that yearning desire for swanging hair, so I let my girlfriend convince me to relax with the guy she uses......I could hear my sister saying "Oh no, don't do it!", while I was sitting in the chair but it was too late. I had a consultation, had really conditioned my hair for a week before going and it still broke like crazy...... He relaxed me bone straight when I asked to be more texlaxed, I cried in his chair and he sad I was being dramatic. Oh it was beautiful for about two weeks and then it fell off my head so fast I had a trash can full of hair. It broke off so bad in the back and seemed to be overprocessed because it was soooo straight. I conditioned, stayed away from heat and wore wigs in an attempt to salvage my hair. Had I listened to my sister I would be almost 4 years natural and probably BSL, instead of NL & EL......

I am now weaved back up and starting over again for the hundredth time......
Well it seems that way. I will never relax my hair again as long as I live. I love my weaves and the low maintenance and of course Reniece always has my hair looking great. She is a blessing and really knows how to grow hair. I will keep my hair moisturized and condition under my weave and look forward to the next two years.....so do I win or what.............

But the support from everyone on the board is great. I don't post much, but I love to lurk. I keep saying it's just hair and it will grow back...........

carolb21 Yeah, you got me beat. Only two of by setbacks were back to shoulder length the others were back to APL. It sound like you need to moisturizer daily when you are relaxed. You seem to be able to maintain your natural hair but not your relaxed hair. I found out that I have to give up style for daily moisture with my relaxed hair.

 

[faithVA]

@carolb21
Now you know what NOT to do!! Good luck in the future with your hair journey.

@faithVA

I love to mix things so the idea of making my own products sounds amazing to me.

Then LexiDior, I will leave you to it I don't want to mix anything. In the past 3 years, I've done all of the experimenting I want to do. I just want to get something use it and keep it moving

I have tried things that people have raved about. I've done different conditioning treatments, oils, prepoos. My hair just doesn't rave. She just doesn't

 

[LexiDior]

Im still shedding i DC so now i will try jojoba oil. i hope all goes well because if that doesnt, imma need suggestions ladies!!

 

[DarkJoy]

Im still shedding i DC so now i will try jojoba oil. i hope all goes well because if that doesnt, imma need suggestions ladies!!

LexiDior when is the shedding occurring? Is it all the time--like you notice it in the comb/brush? Or is it when its wet during wash/condish?

Mine was during wash/condish. My hands and comb were covered every wash with both breaking hairs and with bulbs.I'm now almost certain it was the sulfate and cone based 'poos and condish. Now that I use a mud based wash and cowash that's free of those as well as using teas as a leavein I've not had any additional shedding more than what is normal.

Just a thought to look at your products

 

[LexiDior]

DarkJoy mine is when i brush or comb my hair, i see little stubs on my shirt. this is recent, about two days now. i havent changed anything or gotten any new products since then. My shampoo has sulfur in it but ive used it for years now without a problem. I also take biotin and missed 1 day but that shouldnt be enough to cause shedding. I wonder if the antibiotics im on for an ear infection could be the problem.

 

[DarkJoy]

DarkJoy mine is when i brush or comb my hair, i see little stubs on my shirt. this is recent, about two days now. i havent changed anything or gotten any new products since then. My shampoo has sulfur in it but ive used it for years now without a problem. I also take biotin and missed 1 day but that shouldnt be enough to cause shedding. I wonder if the antibiotics im on for an ear infection could be the problem.

LexiDior..oooh! Antibiotics will mess something up as it clears out the bugs. If u started your antibiotics like 4 or 5days ago that would make sense. Antibios take about that time to reach max concentration in the body. Reactions (not allergies) generally ocur around then. You will just have to ride it out if this is the case.

 

[LexiDior]

ok, i hope its that. i really dont need anymore setbacks on my journey thats just started.

 

[LexiDior]

UHHHHHHHH MY HAIR IS AT IT AGAIN!!!! Its breaking off and i dont havent figured out why. man this is breaking my spirits.

 

[Evolving78]

UHHHHHHHH MY HAIR IS AT IT AGAIN!!!! Its breaking off and i dont havent figured out why. man this is breaking my spirits.

ok what products are you using and what is your reggie?

 

[LexiDior]

ok what products are you using and what is your reggie?

ok i use:

• coconut oil
• jojoba oil
• garnier fructis sleek and shine
• garnier fructis shampoo and conditioner
• castor oil
• aphogee leave in and shampoo
• ORS Replenishing Conditioner
• african pride olive miracle anti breakage
• doo gro hair vitalizer
• ORS hair fertilizer
• africa's best hair fertilizer
• Mane n Tail herbal grow

I use to follow a schedule but now i just do what ever i think my hair needs. Ok so im going to start from when i added new products to my reggie. Saturday i washed/conditioned with garnier fructis and my hair did well. after washing it i used the doo gro. two days later i washed it again with the garnier but i also used my castor oil mix and the sleek and shine. everything worked great. two days after that i DC and used my anti breakage mix. today i washed with aphogee and did a hot oil treatment with coconut oil. after i applied Mane n Tail. While applying the mane n tail i noticed the breakage but it wasnt until my hair dried i tried to style it noticed that my hair was all over my clothes and comb.

 

[KiWiStyle]

I recently had a setback. My hair was full of splits and was just crispy looking. No matter what I did it was still breaking. I wanted to hold onto my "length" my hair was grazing APL. I just decided to cut it to NL and get rid of most of the splits. Sure, I have nearly no hair now buts it thicker and healthier looking. Right now I am constantly wet bunning to retain length and so far it is working for me.

MystiqueBabe,

I don't have splits, I have very thin ends from previous over processing with relaxers. Like you, I'm almost APL and will have to cut a few inches in order to have healthier, longer hair. I hate to cut my length but it has to be done. Congrats on having the nerve to cut it back to NL.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Kindheart]

After so many years i found out whats my enemy numero uno : Flat iron.
For the first time in 20 years i dont have split ends ,my stylist was "proud " of me and a bit shocked since she had to "fix" my hair disasters numerous times . So no matter what i do with my hair as long as i keep f iron away it ll be ok .
I never understood why my hair was breaking even with such good care ..now i know.
Also my hair needs oils .

 

[sckri23]

Im experiencing a setback right now. I think the moisturizer only works in good weather but with all this heat my hair stays dry and I have crunchy ends

 

[lamaria211]

I dont no if this is considered a set back but I just lost a tennis ball size amount of hair while taking out my minis. Im about to cry

 

[Kindheart]

Im experiencing a setback right now. I think the moisturizer only works in good weather but with all this heat my hair stays dry and I have crunchy ends

Hey sckri23 does the product contain glycerin?

 

[sckri23]

Hey sckri23 does the product contain glycerin?

No its my first time trying Optimum Oil Therapy Moisturizer I should have stuck with Organic Olive Oil moisturizer

 

[Arian]

I think I am headed in that general direction. I may have to cut some of my hair, but perhaps not much due to permanent color damage. In the meantime, I am in babying mode...I don't plan to cut until my 1 year anni in September..

 

[MystiqueBabe]

@MystiqueBabe,

I don't have splits, I have very thin ends from previous over processing with relaxers. Like you, I'm almost APL and will have to cut a few inches in order to have healthier, longer hair. I hate to cut my length but it has to be done. Congrats on having the nerve to cut it back to NL.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

It will grow back healthier and prettier than before so that is always my motivation to cut.

But I have decided to transition now so my hair can be truly "almost" split end free. I had loads of mid shaft splits and a lot of them are gone but there are still more of them. I am just tired of relaxed hair anyway.