Hair hate all up in the salon!!

[chayil0427]

Unfortunately I think hair hate in the salon is just a concentration of what goes on everyday in the streets and in society.

I have a friend who has hair a little below her ears. One time I showed her some pics of macherieamours hair and she said "well...I hate her...it's probably fake."

Now that my hair is approaching shoulder length she still insists that her hair is longer than mine or she'll comment about how she just cut three inches, but not because it was damaged but just because . I'm like whatever...I see you all the time and your hair has been the same length.

The other day I mentioned a special curling Iron I wanted for spiral curling and she was like "is your hair even long enough to spiral curl?"... I can't wait till my ish is flowing down my back to see what she says then.

On the salon front I get a lot of looks. My stylist is very professional, but his assistant and other stylists in the salon make comments about my hair being too thick...too clean...my using "white" hair products and ect and how I need to cut it. Yet, after my stylist gets done they're sitting their with their mouths open catching flies.

Last time I went in a stylist was with a client at the shampoo bowl while I was getting my relaxer done and they were just about to fall out of the chair. Finally one mumbled when I noticed them staring "that's not your real color is it?"

Hair hate is definately an issue in our community. Which is why I'm doing my best to learn to do everything I need done to my hair myself so if and when I don't have access to my stylist whom I can trust I don't have to go plop myself down in a chair of a stylist who is gonna wack all my painstaking growth off.

Chayil

 

[Str8~Curly]

I even had other stylists in the salon I used to go to insult my hair, things like it’s bushy. I got so accustomed to the hate that I don’t even really pay much attention anymore. We all know that it is simply ENVY-I even pity them sometimes. A former college roommate said that she wanted to see what my hair looked like when wet, and another roommate chimed in “fly away”. Mind you, we have never even seen her real hair b/c she went from weave to weave.

 

[Cleve_gryl]

YES!! I'd only go to get touch ups and trims...he'd always say "Look at all that hair!!" and I'd always leave with a 2" chop...I haven't been back to his flaming behind since.

Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.

 

[Magus484]

The only person who did my hair well was a European man but I never went back because he was trying to molest me. I mean really molest me. Dirty bastard!! It is a shame because European men can do some hair. Yet, they are molesters! My sister went to a different European man and he tried to molest her too. She kept going back but after the 4th time she could not take it anymore and stopped going to him but she said her hair was in the best shape with him as her stylist.

I

They tried to molest you???? Like as if you were an alter boy? Or is this figurative speech...???????????

 

[Dogmd]

Cherelle, the singer? Though she probably meant no harm, Miss Cherelle just lost a couple of points with me for that one.

Yep.. the very same .. Cherelle.. My stylist use to tour with Jodi Watley and did Cherelle's hair as well.

 

[csmoot]

I always feel uncomfortable coming in the salon with my bucket of products. (Now I do not have long hair - just past my shoulders). The woman in the shop all look at me like I am just being extra for bringing my own products.

 

[Dogmd]

This isn't funny, but imagining it was very funny...

I actually remember laughing when she said it, cause I just wanted her to get away from me. The weird thing was, I couldn't really see her face because all of my hair was over the top of my head and my stylist had a hot comb near my ear and I wasn't about to move. She had a mini- entourage with her. So...I just waited till she left, then asked my stylist who she was.

 

[CHECKMATE!]

Im not mad at u...i got a duffle bag full of products when I walk in the salon as well ...they hate it,but i tip well...so shut up and give good service *****

I always feel uncomfortable coming in the salon with my bucket of products. (Now I do not have long hair - just past my shoulders). The woman in the shop all look at me like I am just being extra for bringing my own products.

 

[Dogmd]

Dogmd:

Girl, that is some SH_T! I typically do curse but that would have freaked me out! I thought my experience was bad!

Now, I see you are eating a raw diet? I want to try this but afraid my hair will fall out.

I suffer with a low immune system and must take vitamins to keep up my immune system. The doctor recommended I take a multi, vitamin c, b-vitamin. I was very sick as child. I had a lot of asthma attacks and it weakened me. I am also a premie baby that also had a twin so that did not help.

I have been eating a vegetarian diet and fruits but I feel a bit tired. I am also having crazy detoxing effects.

How are you surviving on raw? Can you pm me?

I sent you a pm.

My hair grew like normal when I was 100% raw. No shedding at all. Just some serum like stuff stuck all of my hair together like cement after day 25 on 100% raw. It freaked me out. It was like someone poured glue in my hair.
I guess I was detoxing thru my scalp, because it took 5 or 6 shampoos to wash all of that stuff out. Afterwards though... My hair was super soft and shiny and very strong!!!

 

[ChocalateDiva]

This is a good thread.

I go to a white salon when I want my hair trimmed. They are soooooo scared that my black butt will go off and show my "color" (No offense) !! I have to actually beg them to trim even a fouth of an inch. I LIKE THEM SCURRED!!! U hear me??

 

[spiceykitten]

Rondie54:

It is shameful to say but he kept trying to rub himself on me and I started to fall asleep because I was so tired. He was taking forever to wash my hair. You know what woke me up he was pulling on the strap of my top so he could see my girls.

I do not even have nice girls like Camellia. I just got enough.

When I offered to pay him he said that it was free. I refused to accept his free offer. Why? because I felt violated and did not want to feel like something else as well.

Then he told me he did not know why my mother never told him that she had a pretty daughter.

The horrible part was that I was the only person at the shop with him. I had a very early appointment. I was young and scared. When your young, you cannot think and you cannot believe what is happening.

He was my mum hairdresser. She never went back to him after that.

I am not saying this is all European male hairdressers but this is what happen to me and my sister.

If I could find a good European man to do my hair, I would go in a second. As I said, they can do a colored woman's hair. I do not know how but those European men got skills. They would put many of these black hairdressers to shame! As far as I know the European man shop is still filled with black and latino women of color. They cannot get enough of him.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Bumping for more stories.

 

[divachyk]

I didn't read all posts so I apologize if this was stated -- some stylists just are too lazy to style long hair so they find ways to take off your length. I truly believe that's what happened to my hair. Every time I went to the salon it was something....I stayed getting trimmed. I finally left that salon but why didn't I realize it sooner. I am anti-trim and know that sometimes I can be quite dramatic when they trim. I think I always feel they've trimmed more than what they really did. I might take a page from KhandiB's book and get a trim at Penny's. ITA, male stylists are the best. Too bad there are none (that I know of) in my little po' town. *smh*

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

Has anyone experienced this with a male stylist? I went to male stylists (straight and perhaps other than straight) and they had nice strong hands for wonderful scalp massages and styled very well (when I was relaxing).

Thoughts on that? Do they hate as well? I would not think so but ya never know.

No. I have natural hair and my stylist is male and he is excellent. My stylist before him would always trim my hair even and insisted I needed it but I have to practically beg my stylist to cut my hair. I'm getting into the habit of washing/blowdrying my hair myself before going in but even when I don't and his female assistants wash my hair, he watches them like a hawk to make sure there's no funny business. I have a lot of hair and people are usually surprised to see how much when it gets wet but I've never had to wonder what someone was doing to my hair at my current salon. Not surprised at the amount of hair hate though.

I've always had a lot of hair and when I was kid and would go to the salons I'd be so self conscious because of the comments and stares I'd get. Now I get mostly compliments and the people who hate are people on the street.

 

[lovelexi]

Most black salons that i've gone to i've witnessed hate or just plain rude stylists. They always find some way to make you feel bad if you dont let them do what they want to your hair. I told the last AA stylist that I didnt want a trim although my ends were uneven. She told me my ends looked bad and she cant do a cute straight hair style on me because my ends are so bad. When my friend with medium length hair goes to the salon to get a relaxer and trim somehow she always goes from APL to SL. Whats up with that?

Well with that being said its sad because I like to support black owned business. I've always made a conscious effort to do so but the many bad apples spoiled it for the bunch. Idk if I ever want to chance another AA salon. My last relaxer was done by a Caucasian male. It was the best salon experience to date! When I go back to school I will be going to my trusty dominicans for relaxers. They are nice, courteous, allow me to bring in my own products for use, and arent scissors happy!

 

[SingBrina]

I just don't understand the nerve of some people! Is hair really all that serious to wish bad things upon people??

Why is there so much hair hate in the salon? When a woman with long hair walks in, why do some folks gotta hate? Stylists included!! Everyone is all in their hair trying to look for tracks. Some stylists will out anyone who is wearing a weave. If a woman with a weave is going to a salon to have her hair styled, what's wrong with asking her quietly if she has added hair before you start styling? Why yell all across the room "is that all yo hair?"

If you have long hair be careful of what stylist you use if you want a trim. Some of these undercover haters will chop the mess out of your hair, and some other clients will secretly be loving it! I've seen it with my own eyes!!! I've seen stylists purposely become rough with a woman's hair if it's long. Sometimes they'll make rude comments about how "nappy" it is.

I've heard other clients stare a woman with long hair down. When they see that it's all hers they make some rude comments. "she think she all that" what's even worse is overhearing someone make a malicious comment such as "i hope all that s*** falls out" Are these people for real???

My cousin wears weaves and looks gorgeous with them. She has them put in at a mostly white salon but has her hair styled at black salons. Whenever she goes to have her hair styled the stylist has to find a way to let everyone know it's not all hers. So one second everyone is staring and green with envy, the next second they are relieved to know that "that a'int all hers." If I was wearing a weave and the stylist felt the need to let everyone know this, I would get out of the chair and walk straight out. It's not like she is trying to deceive anyone, but it that everyone's business? I think it's proper protocol to ask privately if the client has added hair and then take the proper precautions when styling it. If others find out it is a weave, so what, but don't make stupid, loud comments like "Girl you got tracks all up and through yo head!" or even worse "Oh girl I was getting excited cause I thought that was all yo' hair, you betta quit!!"

Oh and naturals with some serious shrinkage going into a salon to get a press, beware. Some folks get jealous when they see your neck length hair go all down your back in a matter of minutes. Then when you leave they start whispering "Girl that 'nappy' s*** won't be all that long when the rain hit it"

Funny how all the haters are in the salon. It just isn't right.

WOWOWOWOW this is hilarious, I love the way I can read it and in my mind hear the voice. I remember I had a "hater" occurrence in high school and that was it, everyone else appears to be thrilled and excited. My salon is so great! My stylist loves that she contributed to my growth and the girls are so encouraging. But dang, thats some serious hateration!

 

[jenaccess]

I Love this Thread!
This is sad but also very true. There is haterism going on in or outside salons. I have been going through these negative types of behaviors, concerning my hair all of my life. Women would follow my around in the clubs, groceries stores and malls to see if my hair was real.
Listen LHCF sisters when you reach your goal be prepared. It is some sisters that really have a strong sense of jealousy when it comes to a sister with long hair, and all they have to do is join LHCF and gain some knowledge. All these years I was doing protective hairstyles and didn't realize it. I have never liked bone straight relaxers so I was always streching.
I was so happy when Affirm came out with Fiberguard. Any way back to haters. I have shown women the transitions of women here that went from short to long, and the first thing that comes out every last one of them mouth is, that is a weave or ther have good hair.
I would always reply with, there hair is like yours and mines (wich is irevelant) and that IS ALL THERE HAIR STOP HATTIN.

 

[amwcah]

My 5 year old twins are WL. I will continue to suffer through doing their hair. Lol! My mother is forever trying to get me to send them to the salon, but based on these hater stories I sure won't!

 

[pureebony]

Well here is mine:

Lat year i had achieved a great deal of legth for me it was, i had gotten past my neck length by 2.5 inches so i was happy, my hair was healthy and natura and i realized i had an ever evolving curl pattern that was just weird but great!

so here comes my friends wedding and she wanted all the bridesmaids to have straight hair weaves, at the time i didnt want to and i was adement not to use heat on my hair or weaves... but i caved in....


i only ended up regreting my decision...

so i bop to the salon having researched it as bieng great by a friend, explaining to the stylist that i wanted to press my hair for a wedding.... the first thing the lady said was plaese undo your hair, she gave it a quick look and said 'you need to get a weave, there is no way you can do that kind of style without a weave' i said no so many times.

then eventually i went back and the started the pressing, i should have known somehting was up when they asked a junior to wash my hair, she started scrubing my hair like anything, then as natural hair is it shrinks, all i see are these women snickering at my shrinkage i just ignored them.

then come the heat fry hair! they proceeded to hot dry my hair with the blow dryer, i didnt see any heat protectant being used. Then low behold the stairs when my shrinkage transformed to shoulder length hair, that was the only bit that made me smile cheekily, but then they both a male and female stylist, started using a stove tong then a ghd which both reach above 200 degrees, baisically my hair was hot, fried and messed up, to the point i could smell my hair, then after all that he said he wanted to 'trim' my hair, i said no more than 1", basically he told me to put my hair down and i could sense that he was trimming my hair more as i saw lots of my hair fall off.

basically i left the salon with burnt hair, neck length and no density, i nearly cried when i got home, and their faces when i left there were smerks on their faces.

it was a lesson well learned i now have said i will never visit a hair salon again!

 

[Amber_moon]

Im not even gonna lie, when I was a teen before I found LHCF and other hair sites and before I learned that I actually COULD have long hair I used to be a hair hater too. When I would go to the salon I would fantasize about seeing other ladies with longer hair than mine getting their hair burned off, or a relaxer left on it too long etc etc.

I remember one time watching a girl like a hawk who came into the salon I swore it was a weave, so I wasn't paying her any attention and then when she went for the shampoo and it wasn't I literally felt sick to my stomach. I still remember the feeling to this day. I was so angry at everyone including god and the angels for cursing me with this nappy, unmanageable hair that was cursed by the devil to be short forever.

I thought that these women who had such long hair just woke up one day with it all down their backs, or had had it all their life and were just blessed with good hair. I wanted her to suffer like I felt I had, and feel what it felt like to be cursed along with the rest of us "sons of ham" with the bad hair... LOL (the hilarious thing is not too many years before that, when I was 9 or 10 I was natural with hair down my back... it wasnt until my mother started relaxing me and I started trying to "take care of my own hair" that I had all the problems)

Now that Im an adult and I know better, and dont buy into the lies that I was taught when I see a woman with long hair Im OVERJOYED. Im happier than a lark! I am confident in the knowledge that my hair isnt any different or worse than theirs and that with the same care and love my hair will be (and actually already IS) just as beautiful.

 

[ChristmasCarol]

I took one of my daughter's to a local beauty school (Black) and they told me they don't do natural hair. WHAT??? A Black beauty school doesn't do Black hair? Another lady who was waiting quietly told me that they just didn't want to do LONG natural hair - they're too lazy to be bothered.

Why are many stylists so lazy? And why aren't they being taught to do long natural hair? I saw TWAs all up and through the school (the students). It's hard to believe someone with natural hair wants nothing to do with another person with natural hair.

I thought hairstylists loved hair...guess not. I'll just continue putting in the 15-20 hours/week doing our hair, even though it's taking time away from many other activities.

 

[Fine 4s]

Interesting stories ladies.

Perhaps it was an innate sense that I can achieve long hair that didn't allow me to hate on other long haired women, but I definitely stared at them and imagined how much better my life would be with their hair on my body. At the DR salons, watching those HUGE rollers fall out after drying or watching the hair fall down the women’s backs in preparation for a blow frying was my PLEA-SAH.

As a child-teenager however it was a different story. I was so insecure about my hair but I don't remember hating others. I don’t know what’s worse, hating on others or turning that hate inwards. To this day, I remember my hair idols whom I'm still close with (maybe one I don't keep in touch with.) One of them however lost the curls I once adored. Her hair is nothing special today and not nearly as thick. The circumference of her long MBL very dark color ponytail was at least 5-6 inches all around. Today her hair is a little past SL, with much loser curls (more like waves) and fried. The other, her hair color and hair texture is still a gorgeous natural auburn although a WEE bit thinner than I remembered.

But today, I’m proud of my kinks- nothing for me to hide behind anymore.

 

[NicBenny]

Is it me or should there be a whole lotta *** whoopin goin on?

I keep my hair up alot... I don't use heat so it's not always bone straight. This girl in one of my classes was clownin on my hair (calling it nappy ish, raggedy, trying to clown because I go to class to learn and not be cute trying to pull a man) so I decided to wear it down and flat ironed the next. She could do nothing but sit there and stare. The next day I had it back up and in a bun. I haven't heard her say anything since. I don't understand why we have to be like that. Life is more than that. I am more than this shell and I'm definitely more than my hair. Somebody had a heapin' helpin' of haterade.

I went to an African salon (trying to recycle the dollars) and the stylist said "ohhhhhhhh your hair is longer than miiiiiiiiiiiine. Yall she jacked my junk up. She over processed my hair, left me sitting there while she did someone else's hair. When I told her it was burning she said just a minute longer. My hair came out while she was washing it. It hasn't been the same texture since. She denied doing anything wrong so I left her. The Creator has a way of dealing with people like her. I saw her years later and she said,"oh heyyyyyyyy how are youuuuuuuu" I mean mugged and said I'm good thanks. She just looked at my hair. It was so healthy and shiny she just stared and left. I wanted to knock the hot sauce outta her.

I love it!!!! You are a hilarious storyteller.
That was a nice, subtle way of checking your classmate. And I'm sorry that you endured that stylist, but you showed up her.

 

[Dayjoy]

What an HONEST post. I'm glad you have the hair you want today.

Im not even gonna lie, when I was a teen before I found LHCF and other hair sites and before I learned that I actually COULD have long hair I used to be a hair hater too. When I would go to the salon I would fantasize about seeing other ladies with longer hair than mine getting their hair burned off, or a relaxer left on it too long etc etc.

I remember one time watching a girl like a hawk who came into the salon I swore it was a weave, so I wasn't paying her any attention and then when she went for the shampoo and it wasn't I literally felt sick to my stomach. I still remember the feeling to this day. I was so angry at everyone including god and the angels for cursing me with this nappy, unmanageable hair that was cursed by the devil to be short forever.

I thought that these women who had such long hair just woke up one day with it all down their backs, or had had it all their life and were just blessed with good hair. I wanted her to suffer like I felt I had, and feel what it felt like to be cursed along with the rest of us "sons of ham" with the bad hair... LOL (the hilarious thing is not too many years before that, when I was 9 or 10 I was natural with hair down my back... it wasnt until my mother started relaxing me and I started trying to "take care of my own hair" that I had all the problems)

Now that Im an adult and I know better, and dont buy into the lies that I was taught when I see a woman with long hair Im OVERJOYED. Im happier than a lark! I am confident in the knowledge that my hair isnt any different or worse than theirs and that with the same care and love my hair will be (and actually already IS) just as beautiful.

 

[dafnie]

I sat down and read all the stories. I'm so happy I've only been to the salon probably 4 or 5 times my whole life and I've finally gotten the hang of just doing my own hair.

When I was stretching my relaxer one time my sister begged me to go to her hairdresser and get a relaxer. I was simply forced. That woman slapped that creamy crack to every inch of my hair and overprocessed it. I was so upset. She asked what relaxer I wanted and I said "Soft&Beautiful", then she said your hair is so thick I think you need a stronger relaxer. So she grabbed a box of the stronger relaxer! Mind you... I've always used mild/regular relaxers... my hair strands are thin -- not thick and my hair is not coarse. My hair may be big but I still have fine strands. I was young... I let her do her whatever but my heart was racing inside. She did a rollerset and put all this grease on my scalp and wrapped it. Ugh. I went home, combed my hair down and it was just thin, stuck to my head and weighed down so badly. Never AGAIN.

My sister went from NL to APL in a few years. Then she started seeing that woman and her hair was a bit past SL but it was always full and pretty. I saw her a few weeks ago and her hair was EL. I was like girl what happened?!? She said she wanted a hair cut just because... she didn't want them to cut it that short but she said it was okay. I think she's in denial!!!!! I believe that woman overprocessed her hair so much that her SL ends were getting thin and she wanted a trim but they cut too much of her hair off... my goodness.

 

[prettybyrd]

I went to a salon once and a lady walked in wearing a head wrap/scarf. She sat across from me in the waiting section and took the head wrap off and all this lovely, lush hair just fell past her shoulders. When she stood it was WL. That was the first time I'd ever seen a black woman with hair that long that was all hers. I was in awe! I started a conversation with her about hair and she said that she was there just to get her hair in an updo for a friend's wedding.

Her stylist was this short mouthy woman I never liked, and the first thing she said to her was, "You gotta get a trim, I could see your split ends from over there!" That was just a lie, and the woman told her that she had just had her ends cut, she just wanted to get her hair put into an updo. The stylist GOT MAD and yelled that she wasn't going to style her hair without a trim because she was not going to have that woman leaving the salon and telling peole that she did her hair and it look raggedy with those splits. (Mind you, this stylist's hair was a mess every time I saw her...all three times I went there! You'd think she would want to be her own advertisement!)

The woman told the stylist that if she couldnt' do her hair, that surely there was someone else in the salon who could just put her hair up in the style she wanted without needing to trim it. The stylist just walked away from her and no one else spoke to her. She sat there for a minute and then just left.

After she walked out, the whole salon erupted in laughter! The clients, the stylists, the receptionist, everyone was laughing and calling her all kinds of names, and how she needed to get out of there anyway with her nappy, raggedy hair. Her hair was gorgeous!!!! I was less than six feet from her and I could not see a single split! Yet, they all were talking about her hair and how bad it looked. I thought it was perfect!

After their reaction, I got super self-conscious so I told the receptionist I had to go feed my meter (I don't drive) and when I walked out, I just didn't go back in or anymore. I can only imagine what they said about me. I felt bad for that woman, but I was glad she didn't stay and have her hair butchered.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

wow this thread is sad. ♥

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

I went to a salon once and a lady walked in wearing a head wrap/scarf. She sat across from me in the waiting section and took the head wrap off and all this lovely, lush hair just fell past her shoulders. When she stood it was WL. That was the first time I'd ever seen a black woman with hair that long that was all hers. I was in awe! I started a conversation with her about hair and she said that she was there just to get her hair in an updo for a friend's wedding.

Her stylist was this short mouthy woman I never liked, and the first thing she said to her was, "You gotta get a trim, I could see your split ends from over there!" That was just a lie, and the woman told her that she had just had her ends cut, she just wanted to get her hair put into an updo. The stylist GOT MAD and yelled that she wasn't going to style her hair without a trim because she was not going to have that woman leaving the salon and telling peole that she did her hair and it look raggedy with those splits. (Mind you, this stylist's hair was a mess every time I saw her...all three times I went there! You'd think she would want to be her own advertisement!)

The woman told the stylist that if she couldnt' do her hair, that surely there was someone else in the salon who could just put her hair up in the style she wanted without needing to trim it. The stylist just walked away from her and no one else spoke to her. She sat there for a minute and then just left.

After she walked out, the whole salon erupted in laughter! The clients, the stylists, the receptionist, everyone was laughing and calling her all kinds of names, and how she needed to get out of there anyway with her nappy, raggedy hair. Her hair was gorgeous!!!! I was less than six feet from her and I could not see a single split! Yet, they all were talking about her hair and how bad it looked. I thought it was perfect!

After their reaction, I got super self-conscious so I told the receptionist I had to go feed my meter (I don't drive) and when I walked out, I just didn't go back in or anymore. I can only imagine what they said about me. I felt bad for that woman, but I was glad she didn't stay and have her hair butchered.

now that is disgusting. there was no reason for them to be so nasty to her. i can't imagine being in the middle of a hostile hater convention like that. ♥

 

[Browndilocks]

Ya know, my stylists have always had great heads of hair--my current one has a head full of thick, long hair all her own. She's got no hair envy, knows that "trim" means TRIM and really understands when I say I'm growing mine out.

It's like the saying "Don't trust a skinny cook..." Get a stylist with some long hair she had to grow and care for and watch that empathy flow!

I agree with this. I know hate is everywhere but dang, not all stylist are horrible. Some clients also have a jaded version of the hair they actually have to work with. Also, you have to consider the "type" of salon you go to, as well as the type of clientele there. My salon is generally a "long hair" type salon. Nobody is really trippin hard off your hair because most of them already have long hair anyway. Often times you get what you pay for as well but that's another subject...

 

[Sapphire_chic]

wow pretty byrd, what a horrible and scary situation, I was really happy to read that she left, i thought the story was going in a different direction.