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Why do Black Women want long hair???

skegeesmb

New Member
Wow this thread has blown up. Let me post something before it gets locked up.

Well I hope the original poster decides to stick around.

But when I first read the thread, I thought it was a post taken from when I first started coming to this board last year.

I'm not gonna lie, but when I first read the thread I was like here we go again. I don't mean it to be that way, but it's a question that inherently implies that we need to accept that we can't grow long hair. And that means certain black people. I have never been questioned about growing my hair long because people assumed that my hair would be longish (past the shoulders).

But when someone posts that I do read the rest of their comments to see how they post their questions. And the 3b post is not the only post where long hair is questioned. The why can't we be happy with what we have response is weird. It's not a defending post, but a reiteration that we need to be happy with just healthy hair.

The fact is we can have long hair. I had it before I cut it, and in a few months time I will be at brastrap length. It will have only taken 2 and a half years with 3" of hair at the longest. As a newbie, the vitamins and long lists of shampoos may have weirded me out, but things such as not using much heat, protecting the ends of hair, and airdrying is not obsessive at all, in fact, if you look at descriptions of tightly curled hair, or any curly hair for that matter, you see specific things such as: Don't always use heat, don't use curling irons everyday, moisture moisture moisture.

There are many sites for people of other races besides black women who want to grow their hair long. I've been to them all, some are good and the black women who frequent the boards can get good advice, but there are other sites who when black women ask questions, our hair type seem like an anomoly and the stereotype of black long hair might not be achievable.

I come from a family of long to very long haired women, so I never felt bad for thinking that long hair on black women is achievable. It's much harder for people who come from a family where the mentality is only mixed, spanish, asian, or white women can only have long hair. And it's sad.

Oh and about nappturality. There were posters that would make posters feel bad about wanting long hair. I was a member there when the board first went up when I had gone natural and we moved from naturallycurly to the website. It wasn't everybody, but there were a few there that make their thoughts about natural women with 4b hair (because of the super shrinkage) who wanted to find ways to make their actual length more apparent known. Posts of: "You should just accept the fact that your hair might not grow" would come up. Like I said before, not every poster on nappturality felt that way and you could see that when they would defend the original poster who wanted to show real length.
 

cutebajangirl

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
shan_2001 said:
Okay, what bothers me isn't a relationship between race and hair length, what bothers me is this self-imposed relationship between feminity and hair length.


[/ QUOTE ]

Now this I agree with. Feminity to me is something that doesn't increase as your hair gets longer. I have a friend that looks soooo good with a shaved head much better than with the neck length hair she has now. But she also looks incredible with waist length hair. I think what length looks the most feminine depends on how everything fits together.
 

pebbles

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
shan_2001 said:
Okay, what bothers me isn't a relationship between race and hair length, what bothers me is this self-imposed relationship between feminity and hair length.


[/ QUOTE ]

If a person feels that long hair in general, or her hair being long is a further expression of femininity to her, I don't see what's wrong with that. It's one individuals' personal view.
 

licutiexx

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
LONDONCHICK said:


What about women who are not rastafarian but have long (dread)locks, are they selling out?



[/ QUOTE ]
That's a really good point!
So I guess hispanic, asian, indian women are also trying to be white. Personally I think that's pure ignorance to even say something like that!
 

marla

New Member
I can't speak for no one else but myself. I think I look better with longer hair.It has nothing to do with wanting to be white, because it doesn't matter how long I grow it, it will always be very obvious that I'm Black.
 

Serei

New Member
I was in sugery all day today so I have been going through serious withdrawals not even being near a computer, but I was thinking about this thread in particular. I wrote a really long post before with quotes and everything, but then I knocked the phone wire out of my lap top and it is all gone.
hwell: I really need to get rid of dial up. Anyway, in a nutshell, I agree with Cybra. Sutton's timing was way off. We just got our board back and some of us may not have appreciated having to defend so soon. I think had she posted it at a different time she would've at least gotten a calmer response. I also agree with Skegeesmb when she said the first thing she thought was "Here we go again." If it is one thing I have had to do more than anything, it's justify myself in regards to my hair. FYI, I am growing my hair out from a very short hair cut. Does that even count? At this point, I don't care if my hair ever reaches my waist. I just want to be able to put it into a ponytail without gel. I can't even share my hair obsession with my friends and family. It's like I have a whole secret undercover life on the internet because I know people wouldn't understand if I told them. I just hate having to justify myself HERE! I think a lot of us feel that way. After reading the original post, it seems like Sutton questioned her own motives which was fine, but why question ours? It doesn't even matter. The best answer to "why do women want black hair" is why not?
 

soulchild

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
Serei said:
The best answer to "why do women want black hair" is why not?

[/ QUOTE ]

Exactly, that's what I said.


[ QUOTE ]
I can't even share my hair obsession with my friends and family. It's like I have a whole secret undercover life on the internet because I know people wouldn't understand if I told them.

[/ QUOTE ]
I can definately relate to this.

Hope the surgery went well Serei!
 

Laela

Sidestepping the "lynch mob"
[ QUOTE ]
LONDONCHICK said:
Long hair is not an issue of race, it is a issue of femininity. I want loooong healthy hair, i want my hair to be as long as it possibly can be. This is not because I want to be a white lady, it is because I personally feel that long hair looks feminine.

What about women who are not rastafarian but have long (dread)locks, are they selling out?

By the way, newbie here!

[/ QUOTE ]

Welcome to the forum, LondonChick
 

HotCoCoGurl130

New Member
Well, I have not posted yet but here I go. I do not connect long hair with being white because women in my family have always had long hair. My grandmother had waist length but now she had bra srap and my mom had bra strap when she use to take care of her hair but that a whole nother story and a I use to have about bra strap hair but then I put braids in my hair and that was that. Now I am trying to grow back my hair that I once had not the hair that I think some black women can attain but the length that all have the possibility to attain. My point is I am just want to attian what I once had and that is not connected to any specific ethnic group. In my opinion the stereotypically long hair is connected to femininity but that is an out dated concept for me. I know many women who have short hair cuts and are very feminine without all that hair. But I do agree that long hair for women is more accepted by men and that is why some not all women like long hair, for the sake of attracting men. But there are some women who grow long hair for their own pleasure and not for a mans.

I think thata about it.
 

CaramelKiss

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
Serei said:
I was in sugery all day today so I have been going through serious withdrawals not even being near a computer, but I was thinking about this thread in particular. I wrote a really long post before with quotes and everything, but then I knocked the phone wire out of my lap top and it is all gone.
hwell: I really need to get rid of dial up. Anyway, in a nutshell, I agree with Cybra. Sutton's timing was way off. We just got our board back and some of us may not have appreciated having to defend so soon. I think had she posted it at a different time she would've at least gotten a calmer response. I also agree with Skegeesmb when she said the first thing she thought was "Here we go again." If it is one thing I have had to do more than anything, it's justify myself in regards to my hair. FYI, I am growing my hair out from a very short hair cut. Does that even count? At this point, I don't care if my hair ever reaches my waist. I just want to be able to put it into a ponytail without gel. I can't even share my hair obsession with my friends and family. It's like I have a whole secret undercover life on the internet because I know people wouldn't understand if I told them. I just hate having to justify myself HERE! I think a lot of us feel that way. After reading the original post, it seems like Sutton questioned her own motives which was fine, but why question ours? It doesn't even matter. The best answer to "why do women want black hair" is why not?

[/ QUOTE ]

Serei, I hope your surgery was a success. I wish you a happy and speedy recovery.


I would also like to say, I was really touched by your post. I agree that timing had something to do with it and also the LHCF has always been a safe haven for me to come and express my concerns and views. I drive my husband and my mom crazy enough. But I too, shared the same initial reaction that many of the others felt, but then I thought, I ought to give this new member the beneifit of the doubt.

Anyhow, I would like to someday explain the original reason why I came to this forum in pursuit of long hair. But it's too emotional for me and I'm not ready to go there yet. But since that time, my reasons have changed. I love wearing my hair naturally and I thank God that after years of abuse with heat, that it took only a hair cut (okay, the big chop) to get it healthy again. My family was always against me using the curling iron daily and my husband and dad have always wanted me to go back to being natural. In fact, they didn't like it when I wore my hair bone straight. As to why I love long hair, it's because I find it incredibally mysterious, romantic, and alluring, and sexy. I also love all of the sexy updos that u can do with long hair, like French rolls, French knots, elaborate buns and of course having it swinging down your back. But I also love short hair too. I find it very flirty and feminine.

Anyhow, enough rambling. This is starting to turn into a novella.

Good luck to all you ladies on all of your healthy hair journey!

God Bless
 

CaramelKiss

New Member
[ QUOTE ]
Pandora said:
lol! CK i dont think serei was the patient. she is a medic!

[/ QUOTE ]

LOL!! Thank u Pandora!! By the way, where have u been? How's the new job coming along?? Did I tell u I got my German certificate for class 1. I'm in the middle of the second one now. I will be be taking my Zertifikatedeutsch sometime in March. I can't wait!!!

Anyhow, whew! Sorry Serei! Hope things are brightening up!
 

SouthernGirl

New Member
Well, I definitely missed this thread the first time around.

With all due repect to the person who started this thread, the reason this site exists is because there has never been a real focus on the Black woman's hair and ability to reach its full potential.

Because of the hundreds of thousands of little girls that play with Barbie Dolls that think they could never have long hair, this site needs to exist, because those girls grow up to be women. The fact is, there are plenty of Black women who just like how they look with longer hair- not because they want to emulate what White women have. For those women, this site is helpful, because they can learn tips that will help them in their quest.

I do agree with an earlier post that it's really about healthy hair, but it's mostly a preference. The majority of us here are not trying to prove anything to anyone, because that would be futile.

I hope that through spending more time here, you will have a better understanding of what motivates all of us to do what we do.

SG
 

PretteePlease

#fakeworkouts
sutton989 said:
You never see White, Hispanic, or Asian women making a website about having long hair. Why can't we be happy with healthy hair? Why does it have to be long?? It kind of bugs me when I see all these post about outrageous combination and different vitamins to take on how to get long hair. p.s.this post by no means was meant to offend anyone. I just wanted to voice my feelings.

Come back selector (in my reagge dj voice)LOL

Why with all of the cultures with long hair would you go to "whites" first?

I have seen many long hair lover sites white black hispanic and asian women and me on the sites all sharing info on how they feel long hair can be achieved.

How come so many people say healthy hair healthy hair, isn't hair that is growing showing sighs of health? I never understand the thinking "My hair is healthy but it has been the same length 4evah and i never cut it"
thats like saying "I feed my baby but at 1yrs old she still weighs 10lbs, but shes healthy"
 
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Poohbear

Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Like a lot of ladies have already said... I want long AND healthy hair because I think it's beautiful and apart of being a female... not because I want to be white. There's some people with long hair that doesn't look healthy...that's definitely not what most of us want. There are blacks and other races that like having short and healthy hair. I know a black lady that said she thinks having long hair is nasty so she keeps a fresh cut. Everyone has different wishes, desires, and preferences. This is just a forum intended for those who want long and healthy hair... not for women who want to be white, Asian, or any other race. ;)
 

hottopic

Well-Known Member
I knew you guys will love this one. I went back to the old school forums to see what they wrote about. And this one was one of the best ones. I had to bring it.....The person who made the comment had BALLS! I can tell you that much
 

webby

Think Slim
katie said:
Just to correct you..I know of a board with white women trying to grow long hair.It is called longhairlovers I think.
This Black woman wants long hair simply because I have never had it before and I find it looks very feminine and pretty.

I was going to mention longhairlovers. There are also sites dedicated to men, whom I presume are white, trying to grow their hair. Hair is the crown and glory for many and like Katie said, it makes us feel feminine.

Also, I have had a number of non-black women ask me about my growth regimine. So, that just proves that we are not the only one who want to grow out hair long, but run into problems.
 

hottopic

Well-Known Member
I had to take it to the old school forum. I realize that there are still people out there who still feel this way about blacks with long hair healthy hair and everyone is entitled to their own opinions. I just thought I would share this forum with you guys, because it was a true "fire starter" at the time
 

buffalosoldier

New Member
I dont want really long hair at all. I have always just really enjoyed taking care of my hair. Then when I found this site I was like "Oh MY GAAH" cos I had never seen anything like this before for black hair care.
 

Valerie

Well-Known Member
One of the reasons why I like this board so much, because we are a support network and it does not matter, if you have your hair premed, relaxed, texturised or natural, we all what to achieve the same things. :thumbsup:

As we all want to grow our hair long, we can really have fun on this board and we can breathe out and ask questions and this board gives us a lot of information. If it was not for this board, I would not have ever known about Surge 14, Nature's Plus thick shake, Mane n tail, MSM or the baggie method. I would not have met so many nice ladies, viewed their albums. Even though I would not chemically treat to change my curl pattern, I still appreciate all the lovely ladies on this board who have healthy hair, whether they are permed, relaxed or texturised.

As long as I can remember, I have always wanted long hair. I never had it as a child. my mother and my daughter have long hair, but it never happened for me, it was always chin length, it was thick looking but never long. Now at the age of 43, my sides have passed the bottom of my chin to the middle of my neck, my middle hair is past the nape of my nape and touching my shoulder blades and my back hair is almost touching my collarbone, after my inch trim. Even my father at the age of 78, notices how my hair is getting thick and how much it's grown. My teenage daughter says "Your hair mum has really grown". It is an achievement, without this board, I would have given up long ago and I like many others would have believe, I myself is not destined for long hair, because I don't have the "right genes", and I won't have to accept the fact and there is nothing you can do about it, but you can and I did and I am getting the results. I realise there is nothing wrong with my genes, they are fine, the problem I never knew how to look after my hair properly, my hair is naturally fine and it breaks very easily, especially when I was stressed, one month is would be chin length, the next month, it would be ear length again. Grease does not work for me, and also my hair needs daily moisturising, to retain length, I have 4b hair, according to Andre Walker, it never really grows very long, except in locs, or extensions, I don't put my hair in extensions and locs, it is very thick and has length, is really a Wow factor for me :bouncegre:. I don't use any special shampoo for "black women", it is the regular shampoo and conditioners from the supermarket or health shop. Twenty years ago, you would have never get me to wash my hair weekly or rinse daily. After reading Cathy Howse's book, plus knowledge, I have learned from other websites and of course here, has made a big big difference. I cannot believe, it is so simply. :yay:. All I can say is thank you. It is a great pity, that we as black people are still fighting among ourselves, people who want to live a decent life, have nice things, speak properly, growing our hair long etc, we are deemed as wanting to be "white". I honestly belive that people who make those statements, really need a lot of help, because they seem themselves as lesser beings and want to pass on their feelings of "self hated" to us, hence the words "sellout" is used. I love the fact that we are living in such an enlighted age of the internet and we are able to get so much knowledge. I suspect why there are some people who feel uncomfortable about us getting the knowledge of growing our hair longer and keeping it healthy. The power of making us feel we as black women can't grow our hair long and not beautiful as other races, those who have the monopoly of long hair would be over. We as black women, who also see 'the light'. Knowledge is power, there are some people who still feel that they must be control over the majority.
 

keylargo

Active Member
if your hair is healthy then, it will grow longer period. should we be forced to keep our hair cut in a cute short style because we're black?? I want my hair to grow as long as possible like any other female that chooses to do so. there's no reason to stereotype hairstyles.
 
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