Discussion in 'Christian Fellowship' started by Glib Gurl, Nov 10, 2013.
This was on point, yes she upsells her book but still a good message
Right now I have a guy that is pursuing me that I am not completely attracted too. I dont know if I should just go along or pump the brakes. I am so fearful about dating, but I know that most if it is about being rejected.
I came in here to post a video about just this situation from Heather Lindsay, there are no coincidences.
If you think you should slow down or pause and evaluate then pump those brakes. You're not obligated to date a guy just cause he's nice, has a good job, church going Christian etc... if he's not the one then he's not the one. Even if your not head over heals in love with him on two seconds, you should at least have something about him that is drawing you to him.
To play it safe you could just keep it on the friends level, and don't let things progress and pray about it, and who God has for you but really you can't create something from nothing, if you don't find him attractive, then you shouldn't have to force things, or have to "convince" yourself to date someone your just not into enough. You don't want to spend everyday of the rest of your life married to someone you settled for while struggling everyday to make things work, that's just hell on earth.
Let Jesus handle this, offer this up in prayer daily and He will show you the way and bring that husband to you. Like Jackie Francois Angel (YouTube ) said about her husband Jesus picked the best man to be my husband.
I would say give him a shot if it's ONLY based on lack of physical attraction. That can grow after getting to know a person. You said you are fearful about dating which leads me to believe that you are self-sabotaging in this situation. It sounds like you want to cut him off before he has a chance to do that to you. I would say pray about it but based on what you said, it sounds like you are not clear about what you really want and may be putting up barriers.
With all that is going on in the world I don't know if I want to have any children any more. I used to want 6. I don't think I want to bring any into the world now. Am I the only one? I trust that if I were to have kids that God would provide and take care of them but the way this world is going I just don't know. At the end of the day, God's will be done.
Be careful what you say even with little things, remember Jesus said Be more concerned with what comes out of your mouth than what you put in. Matt 15:12-20.
We're human we will have fear, doubt etc... but we can't let that dictate our lives, don't let the enemy manipulate you with fear. Fear helps us be careful keep ourselves safe in bad situations but you must control fear and doubt, not let them control you. If the Lord had put in in your heart to be a wife and mother well dang it that's what your supposed to be doing one day don't let the devil steal your purpose and your joy. That's what he wants to time our human clocks out until it's too late to fulfill what God intended us to do.
Don't let the enemy fill you with doubt, nip that in the bud, cast him down don't let it take root in your spirit. Don't entertain negative thoughts or words for long, it will take a toll then manifest. Basically we can curse ourselves without even realizing it. Power of life and death is in the tongue. Proverbs 18:21
I learned this in mass yesterday, so it's not my wisdom. He said we should say this little prayer the man prayed especially in times of doubt, fear, disbelief, etc...
“I do believe; help my unbelief.”
It's from Mark 9:17-29
17And one of the crowd answered Him, “Teacher, I brought You my son, possessed with a spirit which makes him mute; 18and whenever it seizes him, it slams him to the ground and he foams at the mouth, and grinds his teeth and stiffens out. I told Your disciples to cast it out, and they could not do it.” 19And He answered them and said, “O unbelieving generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring him to Me!” 20They brought the boy to Him. When he saw Him, immediately the spirit threw him into a convulsion, and falling to the ground, he began rolling around and foaming at the mouth. 21And He asked his father, “How long has this been happening to him?” And he said, “From childhood. 22“It has often thrown him both into the fire and into the water to destroy him. But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” 23And Jesus said to him, “ ‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” 24Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” 25When Jesus saw that a crowd was rapidly gathering, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, “You deaf and mute spirit, I command you, come out of him and do not enter him again.” 26After crying out and throwing him into terrible convulsions, it came out; and the boy became so much like a corpse that most of them said, “He is dead!” 27But Jesus took him by the hand and raised him; and he got up. 28When He came into the house, His disciples began questioning Him privately, “Why could we not drive it out?” 29And He said to them, “This kind cannot come out by anything but prayer.”
If your just having a hard time during your day, annoying people working your nerves, whatever just say this little prayer anytime- Lord have mercy on me. Oops post got long. Hth
Yes, I agree and understand. I wanted to have 6 kids. Just because I want something doesn't necessarily mean it's God's will for my life. I will admit that there is an element of fear there that I need to address. At the same time I'm learning in my walk to be honest about the difference between my wants and God's will.
@Lucia God bless you. This interview was JUST what I needed to hear in THIS moment. God definitely used you.
Now that my relationship has been over I'm trying to get back some consistency in my life. First is finding a church home and being consistent in serving there. Next I want to get back in school and finish my degree.
I have just felt so out of touch and disconnected from God lately. To the point I felt like I needed my ex because he was only one in my life that really poured into me spiritually and now I just feel like I'm on my own. When I would have a bad day at work or needed someone to vent to, he would be the one I would call and talk to. Because I knew he was going to have a scripture for me or something uplifting to say. It just feels weird not having that anymore, I just I don't know feel like I'm sinking into a hole with no way out.
I dreamt that last night I was engaged to this great guy. He had everything I knew I needed/wanted in my life. We were approved to get married and he wanted to get married right away.
The only thing in the whole dream that gave me pause was a statement about Jesus. But it was a dream.
Sooooo... after church today as I'm helping my grandmother up out of her seat... the guitarist came over to shake my hand. He had his business card in his hand and as he's shaking my hand he slick passed me the card I'm not calling him yall why didn't he just ask for my number? I don't like the ball to be in my court.
Wow, it probably took him a long time to work up the courage to do that even if it seems like he was being slick. I think you should have said something like "thank you for the card, but I'd feel much more comfortable if you contacted me" and gave him a nice smile. At that point, if he's smart LOL, he'd ask for your number and call. Sometimes men don't know what to do since there's so much confusion in the world and we have to give them a little break and be direct. Sometimes we have to tell them (nicely LOL) what we want. Then they run with it. Just my 0.02.
Thank you @Belle Du Jour. Yeah, I think he was trying to pass me the card on the low without making it a scene. I would have given him my number had he asked for it but I don't know about contacting him first. His business card does have his phone, email, and Facebook page listed. Should I text, send a message on FB with my phone number? I don't want to make a big deal out of it. But that would be kind of awkward if I don't contact him and I have to keep seeing him at church.
Hopefully the other ladies will chime in as well but I wouldn't contact him by text, email or phone first. I'd probably say exactly what I said in my earlier post and see what happens. You're not saying it with an attitude or in a demanding way but in a sweet feminine way.
I don't see anything wrong with texting him your number. Just say who it is and something like "Wish you would've asked for my number personally *insert smiley face* See you in church Sunday!"
I agree with @Belle Du Jour, you need to be direct. Don't assume he should know how you feel because 95% of the time men don't lol
That's what I ended up doing @Divine. he called last night we talked for about an hour. Meh I don't think I'm really interested. He doesn't seem like a bad guy but..... I don't know.
I agree with you don't call him first, he's the man he needs to do the actual pursuing. Handing out his card then sitting back and waiting for you to chase him, sorry I'm not the one for it! Next time you see him just say hi be nice but keep it moving, you shouldn't have to tell him how to pursue you either he needs to man up and do his job.
Just saw update.
I still think the man needs to pursue yeah give him a hint or be nice friendly so he gets the hint but don't go out if your way. Are you unsure because of the way he tried to be slick (like secular guys) and have you call him first? You don't think he tried hard enough to pursue you or at least let you know he's interested?
He's not your type?
Sometimes you just know, he's not right for you too. Just don't think more on it, and live your life if he's supposed to be more he will be if he's not then you're right: don't waste your time (and his) starting a relationship that's not from God he could be an Ismael, to distract you from your Issac who knows.
This. I'm not feeling it. And this has been in the making since August/September of last year. Too little, too late.
What should I do because I want this over with before it starts. I will still have to see him at church or should I find another church
Nah girl, don't give up a good church for some random dude you barely know. I mean some churches are big enough that you almost never have to see someone, just keep it on that acquaintance level hi and bye, that's all it doesn't have to be awkward at all. At best if it took him this long to hand you his number he will hardly pursue or call, and basically eliminate himself. If worse comes to worse and he's really pursuing you hard just let him know your not into him like that in a nice way but be direct.
I think women have a bad tendency to not give guys a chance for no real reason...Unless he's giving you a scary or dangerous vibe, I think you should give him a chance. Some people advocate giving someone 2-3 dates before making a final decision. I don't think you know enough about him to just walk away at this point IF you are truly serious about finding your life partner. I'm not telling you to be desperate but I think we sometimes discard people like there is an endless supply of Christian men out there...