Look what she did to my baby's hair.....cry, mad, angry!! I NEED HELP!!!

The problem with this is that her cousin is living in HER home... not the other way around.

I'm sorry I didn't read the whole thing :blush:....maybe some kind of half-time nanny just for when she is coming home from school if cost is not prohibitive? I'm just really concerned with anyone that would enact this type of behavior on a child especially when given explicit instructions not to do so. It goes to the motive of this type of behavior and makes me question her cousins ability to properly care for ANY child.
 

ShiShiPooPoo

Well-Known Member
Once again, this is child abuse. No doubt if she bone straightened her hair she may have had some serious scalp burns...that's child abuse. I am concerned for your daughter's well being as well. If she did this to her no telling what else she may have done or WILL DO to her. PLEASE make other arrangements for her and I would tell her why you are making other arrangements...not that she'd even care apparently.:ohwell:
 

january noir

Sunny On a Cloudy Day
Every single time I look at the pics of SpicedTee's baby girl's hair it just makes me WILD! :wallbash:.

This is the most blatant case of irresponsibility I have ever seen and clearly a case of revenge or intense dislike (unless cousin is a crackhead).

Said "cousin" could easily have let this little girl play in traffic for all we know.

SPICEDTEE PLEASE COME BACK AND UPDATE US!

Please tell your cousin that you know are over 200 women who seriously want to take her out to the woodshed and whoop her ***!
 

Platinum

Well-Known Member
I'm wondering if this is the result of 1 relaxer or several over a period of time? If this happened over a period of time, cousin should have atleast told you what was happening so you could advise her on the situation. Regardless of how you would have reacted. As a parent, I would rather hear someone say "I made a mistake, I'm sorry, what do you want me to do?". Rather than come home to a "surprise" like this.:sad: She wasn't even woman enough tell you what was going on.

I'm serious, I can get a load to your area ( I can get there in 3 days)so I can have that "discussion" with your cousin. If you kick her a** out, I'm sure I have plenty of room in my trailer for her belongings and I will drop her a** off somewhere.:look:
 

ricochet

Member
I am sooo mad right now but I have to let it go :mad:. THIS is what burns me up about "folx" and their jealousy and envy toward another person. While your cousin's bi-racial child is on one side, hair perfectly healthy and taken care of, your baby is pushed to the side as if she is yesterday's garbage. Does she not DESERVE to have healthy hair or something? I won't even go there on the political side of it. I am burning up. Why did I know you were gonna say what she said, VERBATIM, about the maintenance involved in taking care of your baby's hair? I am so SICK AND TIRED of "us" saying the same ol S*&! about "our" hair and how it is TOO this or TOO that and the ONLY thing that will FIX it is a relaxer!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: Okay, let me calm down...breathe and stop Mica...okay, I am back. I will stop here before I get upset again. Thank you for everything you are doing for our country and I will keep you and your family in my prayers. :bighug:
 

clever

Active Member
I'm wondering if this is the result of 1 relaxer or several over a period of time? If this happened over a period of time, cousin should have atleast told you what was happening so you could advise her on the situation. Regardless of how you would have reacted. As a parent, I would rather hear someone say "I made a mistake, I'm sorry, what do you want me to do?". Rather than come home to a "surprise" like this.:sad: She wasn't even woman enough tell you what was going on.

I'm serious, I can get a load to your area ( I can get there in 3 days)so I can have that "discussion" with your cousin. If you kick her a** out, I'm sure I have plenty of room in my trailer for her belongings and I will drop her a** off somewhere.:look:
You can come scoop me up if you need assistance.:look:
 

pazyamor

New Member
Living with you? Rent free? Doesn't pay a car note? Man, if I had a cousing who would loan me a few dollars every now and then I would be happy. What does she want from you, a personal back scratcher? I cannot tell you to kick her out of your house (although you should), I can't tell you to whoop her ass (but I will pass you the vaseline), and I can't give you and advice that hasn't already been said (except that you should put your trust in God, and your daughter in somebody else's hands)...

If you don't mind me asking, did your husband think anything is wrong with this?
 

tiffanyoneal

Active Member
:210:I'm ready whenever you are! That's so wrong! I had to come outta lurking on this one. I am sorry that happened. Some people just dont know any better. Damn!
 

Impresaria

I'm your huckleberry.
Whew...it's been a LONNNNGGGG day!!

Update:

I found a braider!! She lives about two miles away. I talked to her about the condition of my daughter's hair, and I swear if my mouth didn't drop open when she told me her plan of action...I SWEAR she must be a member/lurker on a hair board! The first thing she said was that her primary clients are children and that she encourages natural hair care. She is natural herself and she said that she has successfully transitioned many young girls from relaxer to natural with braided protected styles. The second thing she said was that she wanted to have a consultation with me a DD tomorrow morning, and that before she puts ANY braids in her hair she wants to do an elasticity test. Okay, so far, she knows what she's talking about. She said that she wants to strengthen with an Aphogee treatment to build it up before she puts braids in it. She said that she will do her hair once a month, including washing and take-down, if DD gets cornrows. If she gets individuals, she will re-do them every 6-8 weeks. Member Lisatamika, who has been to my house a few times with her husband, and who is VERY ANGRY with me for not asking her for help (I apologize again, I didn't know that I needed help until I got home to DD's hair!!), is going to come over Saturday or Sunday and we are going to iron out a plan of action for weekly maintenance of DD's hair, including taking her to her braid appointments. DD most likely will get her hair braided tomorrow morning so that she can show off at her PRINCESS BIRTHDAY BASH tomorrow afternoon!! So there will be plenty of pics of her braided hairstyle posted by tomorrow.

2. DD can't go with Dad, no way, no how. Dad has not lived in California for over a year. He lives in Illinois. He comes to "visit" whenever. He was right here in this very house about a week and a half ago to come and get some of his belongings. Did he see DD's hair? Yep! Did he do anything about it, ask questions or call me? Nope!

3. Can't sue the cousin. See, in order for her to make decisions for the children on my behalf why I am away, she was given Temporary Legal Guardianship...signed and notarized with a Federal Seal. In effect, I have given her permission to do what she determines is necessary in caring for the children. I can always revoke it, but...I don't know what to make of her actions, she has never been willfully malicious to me, as far as I know. I do cut her some serious slack, although I have to re-think how I've been handling things. Since she is staying here, her family (almost-ex included), has been putting extreme pressure on her to walk away from our arrangement. They want her to take a side, and it appears that she has taken mine so they have so-called "disowned" her. When my almost-ex was here last week, he threatened her and said that she and I are "plotting against him." It's not as simple as kicking her out. She is a member of the household....sigh...if there was someone else willing to help me then they would've stepped up to the plate by now. I am running out of options. I don't know...I think she is just lazy as Hell. Or overwhelmed. Or both. We are going out for a bit tonight, to get away from the kids and have a "Come-to-Jesus" meeting. Hopefully, if she wants out and is just being passive aggressive, then she will let me know. I'll update everyone tomorrow.

I will be back to this shortly, I have a ton of wonderful members that I need to return PM's too, and I need to also contact a few by phone and email that have reached out to me to offer their help.

I'll be back!
 

Tayw29

Member
:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:I know thats right! When my dd goes to her dads house for the weekend this has been a concern for me too. That is why usually I send her in twists because I don't want them up in her hair. They comb too roughly, tight ponytails, all that and i'm not having it. This chile best not EVA come here with a perm or there will be a ww3 up in this ****


Bre Bre my DD’s name is Bri Bri too :yep:. This is one of my fears when she is the care of others. I know her hair is hard to deal with, I fight with it everyday. But it really pisses me off that people have the nerve to do this with no regard to the up keep of having a relaxer. Who says I want the responsibility of maintaining a relaxer amongst all the other things I need to do as a mother???????? It pisses me off that these people clearly know that a relaxer is something that cant be changed once its done, and with the little bit of knowledge they do have when it comes to hair they know that according to what the majority thinks a relaxer has to be done every 4-6 weeks, what gives them the right to decide that’s something I want to do when there arses are at home laying up and I have to maintain this new chore they have decided to give me. I swear I feel like calling her fathers momma and them right now and tell them if they even think about putting any kind of chemicals, blow dryers, curling irons, hot combs. Flat irons or anything else near her head I will choke the breath out of them all and DD hasn’t even left yet :lachen:. She will be 7 in a few weeks and I can’t see the point in straight hair for her just because, she’s a child and her hair should remain braided or in ponytails until further notice and she doesn’t need a relaxer to achieve either of the 2.
 

cutenaynay

New Member
Whew...it's been a LONNNNGGGG day!!

Update:

I found a braider!! She lives about two miles away. I talked to her about the condition of my daughter's hair, and I swear if my mouth didn't drop open when she told me her plan of action...I SWEAR she must be a member/lurker on a hair board! The first thing she said was that her primary clients are children and that she encourages natural hair care. She is natural herself and she said that she has successfully transitioned many young girls from relaxer to natural with braided protected styles. The second thing she said was that she wanted to have a consultation with me a DD tomorrow morning, and that before she puts ANY braids in her hair she wants to do an elasticity test. Okay, so far, she knows what she's talking about. She said that she wants to strengthen with an Aphogee treatment to build it up before she puts braids in it. She said that she will do her hair once a month, including washing and take-down, if DD gets cornrows. If she gets individuals, she will re-do them every 6-8 weeks. Member Lisatamika, who has been to my house a few times with her husband, and who is VERY ANGRY with me for not asking her for help (I apologize again, I didn't know that I needed help until I got home to DD's hair!!), is going to come over Saturday or Sunday and we are going to iron out a plan of action for weekly maintenance of DD's hair, including taking her to her braid appointments. DD most likely will get her hair braided tomorrow morning so that she can show off at her PRINCESS BIRTHDAY BASH tomorrow afternoon!! So there will be plenty of pics of her braided hairstyle posted by tomorrow.

2. DD can't go with Dad, no way, no how. Dad has not lived in California for over a year. He lives in Illinois. He comes to "visit" whenever. He was right here in this very house about a week and a half ago to come and get some of his belongings. Did he see DD's hair? Yep! Did he do anything about it, ask questions or call me? Nope!

3. Can't sue the cousin. See, in order for her to make decisions for the children on my behalf why I am away, she was given Temporary Legal Guardianship...signed and notarized with a Federal Seal. In effect, I have given her permission to do what she determines is necessary in caring for the children. I can always revoke it, but...I don't know what to make of her actions, she has never been willfully malicious to me, as far as I know. I do cut her some serious slack, although I have to re-think how I've been handling things. Since she is staying here, her family (almost-ex included), has been putting extreme pressure on her to walk away from our arrangement. They want her to take a side, and it appears that she has taken mine so they have so-called "disowned" her. When my almost-ex was here last week, he threatened her and said that she and I are "plotting against him." It's not as simple as kicking her out. She is a member of the household....sigh...if there was someone else willing to help me then they would've stepped up to the plate by now. I am running out of options. I don't know...I think she is just lazy as Hell. Or overwhelmed. Or both. We are going out for a bit tonight, to get away from the kids and have a "Come-to-Jesus" meeting. Hopefully, if she wants out and is just being passive aggressive, then she will let me know. I'll update everyone tomorrow.

I will be back to this shortly, I have a ton of wonderful members that I need to return PM's too, and I need to also contact a few by phone and email that have reached out to me to offer their help.

I'll be back!



aww im soo happy for you. God is real good for real no matter what .:yep:
 

Prettypsych

Active Member
whew- i had to hold my breath through those posts. Like everyone else, I was angry along with you. Very sad... but it looks like you have it under control for now.

After the shock of it all, this seems like a good time to nuture both your daughter's hair and spirit back to health. What better time to learn that although we love our hair and should always put forth our best effort in looking our best, we are more than what's on the outside. She is beautiful, smart, loved, and admired no matter what and it's important that she ALWAYS knows that...
 

january noir

Sunny On a Cloudy Day
Whew...it's been a LONNNNGGGG day!!

Update:

I found a braider!! She lives about two miles away. I talked to her about the condition of my daughter's hair, and I swear if my mouth didn't drop open when she told me her plan of action...I SWEAR she must be a member/lurker on a hair board! The first thing she said was that her primary clients are children and that she encourages natural hair care. She is natural herself and she said that she has successfully transitioned many young girls from relaxer to natural with braided protected styles. The second thing she said was that she wanted to have a consultation with me a DD tomorrow morning, and that before she puts ANY braids in her hair she wants to do an elasticity test. Okay, so far, she knows what she's talking about. She said that she wants to strengthen with an Aphogee treatment to build it up before she puts braids in it. She said that she will do her hair once a month, including washing and take-down, if DD gets cornrows. If she gets individuals, she will re-do them every 6-8 weeks. Member Lisatamika, who has been to my house a few times with her husband, and who is VERY ANGRY with me for not asking her for help (I apologize again, I didn't know that I needed help until I got home to DD's hair!!), is going to come over Saturday or Sunday and we are going to iron out a plan of action for weekly maintenance of DD's hair, including taking her to her braid appointments. DD most likely will get her hair braided tomorrow morning so that she can show off at her PRINCESS BIRTHDAY BASH tomorrow afternoon!! So there will be plenty of pics of her braided hairstyle posted by tomorrow.

2. DD can't go with Dad, no way, no how. Dad has not lived in California for over a year. He lives in Illinois. He comes to "visit" whenever. He was right here in this very house about a week and a half ago to come and get some of his belongings. Did he see DD's hair? Yep! Did he do anything about it, ask questions or call me? Nope!

3. Can't sue the cousin. See, in order for her to make decisions for the children on my behalf why I am away, she was given Temporary Legal Guardianship...signed and notarized with a Federal Seal. In effect, I have given her permission to do what she determines is necessary in caring for the children. I can always revoke it, but...I don't know what to make of her actions, she has never been willfully malicious to me, as far as I know. I do cut her some serious slack, although I have to re-think how I've been handling things. Since she is staying here, her family (almost-ex included), has been putting extreme pressure on her to walk away from our arrangement. They want her to take a side, and it appears that she has taken mine so they have so-called "disowned" her. When my almost-ex was here last week, he threatened her and said that she and I are "plotting against him." It's not as simple as kicking her out. She is a member of the household....sigh...if there was someone else willing to help me then they would've stepped up to the plate by now. I am running out of options. I don't know...I think she is just lazy as Hell. Or overwhelmed. Or both. We are going out for a bit tonight, to get away from the kids and have a "Come-to-Jesus" meeting. Hopefully, if she wants out and is just being passive aggressive, then she will let me know. I'll update everyone tomorrow.

I will be back to this shortly, I have a ton of wonderful members that I need to return PM's too, and I need to also contact a few by phone and email that have reached out to me to offer their help.

I'll be back!


This is such a relief to hear! We will all be waiting to hear what happened at your meeting with said "cousin." God's Favor to you and Naomi SpicedTee.
 

MrsQueeny

Well-Known Member
This is such a relief to hear! We will all be waiting to hear what happened at your meeting with said "cousin." God's Favor to you and Naomi SpicedTee.

It sure is. I just showed the pics to my dh and even he was upset. ((Hugs)) to you and your little girl. This too shall pass. Q
 

schipperchow1

New Member
I had written a long post expressing my concern about the situation and support for you along with some options, but my computer ate it! Anyway, I am glad to see that you have a solution for the haircare. However, I am still concerned that there may be something deeper going on. I realize that it is not an ideal situation and that there are negative "family" members around. Your cousin may think that black hair has to be managed with a relaxer. But at least the ladies at LHCF have stepped to the plate for you & your daughter. You are not alone! Best of luck to you both!
 
In general - I don't understand why in-laws and step mothers think they can control your child's hair. I've heard this same story from friends and co-workers who have shared custody and the stepmom will do the most craziest things to their daughters hair - like they have no common sense. Things they won't even do to their own daughter's hair. It's just sickening how people will treat someone else's child's hair.
 

2Cute!

Well-Known Member
This really is a shame! I know your cousin knew better than to relax your baby girl's hair! What we she thinking? I can't imagine the disgust you felt when you first laid eyes on your daughter's hair.

My suggestion falls in line with the other ladies. Find someone to deep condition her hair on a regular basis and keep it braided.

I know it's hard to think of it like this right now, but... it WILL grow back. Just give it time.
 

Jetblackhair

Well-Known Member
Words can't even begin to express how sad, mad & bad I feel about this situation. I mean this really hurts to see your little girl's hair like this.

Believe me, I have tears in my eyes. Little girls are special and precious and it's so important to take good care of them from head to toe, inside & out.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


 

Platinum

Well-Known Member
Praise God! I'm glad you found someone to take care of your daughter's hair. Please keep us posted on Baby Girl's progress! God Bless you both!
 

FlowerHair

Reclaiming my time
Oh, my...
First of all, your daughter is gorgeous!

Second, I can really understand why you were upset! :eek:
Why did she do that to her hair, that is so wrong!

If anyone left their child in my care and I accepted it, I would take care of her as if she were my own and with utmost respect for her parents... Goodness!
I really feel for you...

Your daughter's hair will grow back and be even prettier than before.:yep:
 

Lady Esquire

New Member
Whew...it's been a LONNNNGGGG day!!

Update:

I found a braider!! She lives about two miles away. I talked to her about the condition of my daughter's hair, and I swear if my mouth didn't drop open when she told me her plan of action...I SWEAR she must be a member/lurker on a hair board! The first thing she said was that her primary clients are children and that she encourages natural hair care. She is natural herself and she said that she has successfully transitioned many young girls from relaxer to natural with braided protected styles. The second thing she said was that she wanted to have a consultation with me a DD tomorrow morning, and that before she puts ANY braids in her hair she wants to do an elasticity test. Okay, so far, she knows what she's talking about. She said that she wants to strengthen with an Aphogee treatment to build it up before she puts braids in it. She said that she will do her hair once a month, including washing and take-down, if DD gets cornrows. If she gets individuals, she will re-do them every 6-8 weeks. Member Lisatamika, who has been to my house a few times with her husband, and who is VERY ANGRY with me for not asking her for help (I apologize again, I didn't know that I needed help until I got home to DD's hair!!), is going to come over Saturday or Sunday and we are going to iron out a plan of action for weekly maintenance of DD's hair, including taking her to her braid appointments. DD most likely will get her hair braided tomorrow morning so that she can show off at her PRINCESS BIRTHDAY BASH tomorrow afternoon!! So there will be plenty of pics of her braided hairstyle posted by tomorrow.

2. DD can't go with Dad, no way, no how. Dad has not lived in California for over a year. He lives in Illinois. He comes to "visit" whenever. He was right here in this very house about a week and a half ago to come and get some of his belongings. Did he see DD's hair? Yep! Did he do anything about it, ask questions or call me? Nope!

3. Can't sue the cousin. See, in order for her to make decisions for the children on my behalf why I am away, she was given Temporary Legal Guardianship...signed and notarized with a Federal Seal. In effect, I have given her permission to do what she determines is necessary in caring for the children. I can always revoke it, but...I don't know what to make of her actions, she has never been willfully malicious to me, as far as I know. I do cut her some serious slack, although I have to re-think how I've been handling things. Since she is staying here, her family (almost-ex included), has been putting extreme pressure on her to walk away from our arrangement. They want her to take a side, and it appears that she has taken mine so they have so-called "disowned" her. When my almost-ex was here last week, he threatened her and said that she and I are "plotting against him." It's not as simple as kicking her out. She is a member of the household....sigh...if there was someone else willing to help me then they would've stepped up to the plate by now. I am running out of options. I don't know...I think she is just lazy as Hell. Or overwhelmed. Or both. We are going out for a bit tonight, to get away from the kids and have a "Come-to-Jesus" meeting. Hopefully, if she wants out and is just being passive aggressive, then she will let me know. I'll update everyone tomorrow.

I will be back to this shortly, I have a ton of wonderful members that I need to return PM's too, and I need to also contact a few by phone and email that have reached out to me to offer their help.

I'll be back!

I am so happy to hear that you've found a braider and a fellow LHCFer to help out while you're away. As for your cousin, and the guardianship, God is good and will lead you the right way in that situation.. I wish you luck. Keep us posted.
 

growth2come

Well-Known Member
I wish you all the best in sorting things out with your cousin, but it was just so wrong of her to perm your child's hair without permission cos its not as if you can easy say I am sorry I will take it off....A perm takes a while to transition out of. Good that you have found someone to sort out the hair care, maybe now your cousin can just concentrate on just "looking after" your daughter. I am sure once you have ironed things out you will be at ease whilst away at work. All the best.
 

kweenameena

Well-Known Member
Whew!! This thread made my blood pressure go up. I swear I want to seriously *** up your cuzn.

Prayerfully, the talk that you all are gonna have will make the second half of your tour better than the first.
I'm happy that you now have help with her hair. Pray on the rest.
**off to repent for my evil thoughts**
 

shelli4018

Well-Known Member
I'm glad you've found a plan for lil' bits hair. Please keep us updated on her progress.

As for the cousin.....well....I have some lazy relatives too. So this could've easily happened to me. Maybe your cousin isn't a lost cause. Perhaps she really is lazy and sucks at doing hair. If so, you've resolved one problem. Hopefully she'll resolve the other.

Since neither of you have family to depend on maybe you really could create a win/win situation here. However she needs to get on the ball. Living at your house WITHOUT a game plan ain't smart.
 

NessaNessa

Well-Known Member
Your daughter is beautiful!

With help from these ladies, I am sure her hair will flourish :yep:

Good Luck and thank you for serving our country :)
 

sqzbly1908

New Member
OMG!!!! I would have to concur with the most the previous statements - cut off the damage, deep condish/protein condish that baby's hair and find a someone that will not only braid her hair (every 3-4 weeks) but will wash and condition while she is growing out that relaxer...


Sorry for the redundant statement above - I just saw that baby's hair and started typing after the 5th or 6th post...
 

STLCoverGirl

New Member
Those pics made my blood boil and then I read she and I share the same name...I am too through!! I am glad you found someone to care for her hair properly, can't wait to see updates!
 
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